Damn Vikings ... a pretty nice little Sunday

It's hard to imagine a better first Sunday of the NFL season for a Minnesota Vikings fan.

• Adrian Peterson has a 180-yard day in an opening win over the Browns. A good friend who is a Chicago Bears fan immediately phoned after Peterson's 64-yard touchdown run where he broke six tackles and said, "Best running back I've seen since Barry Sanders. We'll talk later."
  
  
• Ol' Brett Favre mostly just stayed out of the way. OK, so it is not so clear the Vikes could win a game if they were unable to run well.
  
  
Neither the Bears or Green Bay Packers looked all-fired great during NBC's Sunday nighter, which NBC's Al Michaels did not call "the NFL's most storied rivalry between two teams which have losing records vs. the Vikings during the Super Bowl era."


• Jay Cutler's four interceptions on Sunday night were at least as hilarious as anything Jay Leno will do Monday night.
  
  
• The Bears lost Brian Urlacher for the season. A player being injured is not something to celebrate, but if the Bears end up bringing Derrick Brooks out of retirement, it means no one can razz the Vikings about Favre being older than dirt. Thirty-six in linebacker years is older than 40 in quarterback years.
  
• We can't wait to see what the alternative point spreads will be this Sunday for the Vikings' game vs. the Detroit Lions. The APS is the brain candy of sports betting lines. There is a double-digit spread on tonight's doubleheader, Bills-Patriots and Chargers-Raiders, but it would be much more fun it you took New England by 21½ instead a mere of 11.
  
  
• Percy Harvin gets his first NFL touchdown and does some damage as a runner, receiver and a returner like a latter-day Gale Sayers.
  
  There's a reason behind citing a Bears legend. Everything Harvin will do is karma for the Bears never doing much in the '60s when they had Sayers. For that matter, everyting Peterson does vs. the Bears is karma for using high picks on Curtis Enis and Cedric Benson and for Mike Ditka not finding a way to get the greatest football player of all time, Walter Payton, a touchdown during Super Bowl 20. Just saying
  
  
• And this happened, involving the Bears former quarterback:
  
  
  
  Of course, it was a total fluke play, but nevertheless.
  
• Last but not least, Queen's won and the Saskatchewan Roughriders "went out of their way" (Regina Leader-Post) to avoid scoring 60 points against the Winnipeg Blue Bombers in the Banjo Bowl. Yeah, it was a pretty nice little Sunday.
  

Brett plays dirty, then how come our conscience is so clean?

The English language really does not have a word to express the state of "laughing while also being mortified," which pretty much describes the reaction to Brett Favre bringing back the long-outlawed crackback block. The general reaction (not like everyone did not wonder) is questioning what the fallout would be if Michael Vick pulled such a stunt.



Either way, Favre might be a self-aggrandizing spotlight-hogger who also plays dirty, but since he is on the Vikings now, he is my self-aggrandizing spotlight-hogger who also plays dirty. It is an easier transition since the high-minded Vikings fan never really hated Favre, but understood and respected his role in the melodrama. That is the nature of it with a bitter sports rivalry: After a while, you come to realize the people on the other side are not evil and wrong, but they just happen to be aligned with something which is evil and wrong, like that media darling franchise in Green Bay which was grandfathered in to the modern NFL.

Who knows, perhaps ol' Brett was doing a homage to North Dallas Forty. The 30th anniversary of its release passed several weeks ago and this was his first extended game action since then.

(Sorry for the irregular posting, but the aim was to show people that Favre signing with the Vikes had not led to some kind of mental breakdown, although that could change if the rumours about trading Tarvaris Jackson are true. Besides, cisblog.ca has been taking up a lot of time.)

The other 20 worst things to happen to the Vikings

Brett Favre's signing with the Minnesota Vikings is supposed to go down on Friday, July 3, according to the unimpeachable Mike Florio of Pro Football Talk. Other oracles are chiming in. The production of No. 4 jerseys has already been green-lit (how unfortunate that phrase evokes the colours of a certain rival in Wisconsin). Some even wonder if this is the canary in the coal mine, that owner Zygi Wilf has resorted to a desperation play because he wants to unload the team since it has zero chance of getting a modern stadium.

The indispensable Daily Norseman has tried to counsel Minnesota Vikings fan through this. As it put it in a piece titled The Favre Stages Of Grief.

"As a group, we've been through way more than this, and we've been through way worse than this ... and we've managed to persevere for this long. To be honest, I'm not even sure if 'signing Brett Favre' would crack a list of the Top 20 most disappointing things to ever happen to the Minnesota Vikings."

Twenty most disappointing things to ever happen to the Vikings, eh? Consider that gauntlet picked up, even if the author is unaware it was even thrown down. If nothing else, it's way to build a a forcefield for Favregeddon, starting right after the jump.

First off, there need to be ground rules, which the author reserves the right to make up off the top of his head.

Randy Moss' mock-mooning at Lambeau Field during the 2004 playoffs does not count. It came in a game where the Vikings beat the Green Bay Packers at Lambeau Field. Moss came off better in that fiasco than FOX Sports' Joe Buck did. Scratch perennial 1,000-yard running back Robert Smith retiring from football in 2001 when he still had a few good seasons left, since that was his personal decision. Mocking former running back Onterrio Smith for getting busted at the airport with something called an Original Whizzinator is also out since that incident was symptomatic with his problems with addiction (read this post by one of Smith's one-time teammates, NFL tight end George Wrighster, and then say Onterrio Smith is fair game).

The rest is in play, as far as anyone knows.

20. Starting quarterback, Spergon Wynn

Spergon Wynn III was hardly cut out to be a CFL quarterback, let alone a NFL quarterback. The epitaph for his career in Canada came courtesy of one-time B.C. Lions teammate, Carl Kidd, who once said, "Spergon can be a good quarterback at times." The rub is none of those times involved the two starts he made for the Vikings late in 2001. He went 48-for-98 for passing with one touchdown and six interceptions and never started another game. He is the answer to a great trivia question: Who started at QB in the Vikings' last game under Dennis Green and the first under Mike Tice?

19. Drafting Troy Williamson

He's open deep and ... oh, he can't hang on! There is another NFC North team which is synonymous with spending first-round draft choices on wide receivers whose 40-yard dash times turn out to be fool's gold, but Williamson's ignominy ranks with any of the approximately 72 receivers Matt Millen drafted when he was doing to the Lions what a bunch of dopes in suits did to the U.S. auto industry.

Williamson, the No. 7 pick in 2006, was expected to give the Vikings the deep threat they had lacked since Moss left. Three years later, his name is mostly a punchline and he's an entry in Worst Man Drafted tournaments. Some of his drops were so bad that the director of a cheesy football comedy wouldn't have even included them, for lack of believability.



18. Paul Ferraro's special teams unit (2008)

Seven return touchdowns allowed in one season, a NFL record. The crazy part is Ferraro moved up the coaching ladder after that showing, since he was hired by the St. Louis Rams to coach their linebackers. Granted, that means worrying about three players, not all 11 on the field at one time.

17. Tony Dorsett runs 99½ yards (Jan. 3, 1983)

Perhaps it was not disappointing in the classic sense. It's just that the NFL Network seems bound by policy to have to air the clip of Dorsett's dash at least once every 24 hours. No one remembers that the Vikings actually won that 1982 Monday nighter, no mean feat when you allow a running back to go 99 yards on a play when his team lined up with only 10 guys. True story.

16. Vikadontis Rex (1995-2000)

There is only room for one lame dinosaur mascot in the four major sports. The Toronto Raptors totally called this one. Vikadontis was introduced in the wake of the Jurassic Park phenomenon in the early '90s, probably as a way to appeal to the kids. Of course, the Vikings already had a mascot, Ragnar, played by a guy who holds the world record for shaving with an ax, so it just ended up muddying the brand.

15. Antonio Freeman's catch (Nov. 6, 2000)

A semi-legitimate sports journalist is conditioned to eschew using the word fluke. However, what happened on the night of Nov. 6, 2000 was nothing but a damn fluke. The Vikings and Packers never should have been in overtime in the first place, but in a driving rainstorm, the Vikings botched the hold on a last-second field goal try.

In OT, Freeman slipped on the wet field while running a deep route and Dishman appeared to bat it to turf. However, it hit Freeman, who managed to complete the catch, get to his feet without being tackled and cut inside a defender to score and give Green Bay an ill-gotten 26-20 win. It also cost the Vikings home-field advantage throughout the playoffs.



14. Dennis Green tries to sue the team (1997)

To be fair, you might call a lawyer too if you had coached a perennial playoff team and found out the highers-up tried to replace you with a rah-rah college coach like Lou Holtz who was a failure in his one shot in the NFL.

13. Randy Moss' long goodbye (about 2002 to '04)

There are reasons Randy Moss is great and wonderful beyond him being in the picture when people talk about the greatest pass receivers in NFL history (after Jerry Rice and somewhere in there with Marvin Harrison and Lance Alworth from the AFL and if you include Terrell Owens in there, you're asking to get punched in the balls).

Moss showed an outcast could make it in an American team sport. That point was generally lost amid the "I play when I want to play," the meter-maid bumping and leaving the field before the game was over. No one really got that at the time, except perhaps for Karl Taro Greenfeld, but he didn't profile Moss until after he been traded to the Oakland Raiders for next to nothing. Meantime, there was so much lost potential left back in Minnesota, even though it's hard to begrudge Moss on NFL Sundays when he's catching touchdown passes from Tom Brady and polishing his application to the Pro Football Hall of Fame.

12. Daunte Culpepper's knee injury (2005)

When pro football historians (how do you get that job? Is there a test, like the foreign service exam?) talk about the great passing combos whose first names need not be mentioned, they'll talk about Montana-to-Rice, Manning-to-Harrison, Unitas-to-Berry, and Brady-to-Moss. It will ignore Culpepper, who threw to Moss during his prime years, from the time he was 23 until he was 27.

It went so well for long, then one day it did not anymore. Since '05, Culpepper has played for the Dolphins, Raiders and the Detroit Lions, so you could say the injury was career-ending.

11. Pass not intended for Darrin Nelson (Jan. 17, 1988)

Plenty of teams have seen their Super Bowl dreams dashed in the final minute of the conference championship game, just yards from a tying or winning touchdown. The killer is that the final play of the 1987 NFC championship vs. Washington, the underdog Vikings ended up with Anthony Carter and running back Darrin Nelson in the same area of the field. That made it easier for Hall of Famer Darrell Green, who was covering Carter, to break up the pass. It was intended for Nelson, but considering that Carter had set a playoff receiving record the week before, it's hard to perish the thought Wade Wilson was throwing for him.



In hindsight, the other kicker two decades later is the Vikings, as a blue state team, could have won on the field and on principle. That was the season when the NFL used scab players for three games during a players' strike. The fake Vikings went 0-3, but they still made the playoffs and were six yards from victory.

10. Super Bowl IV (January 11, 1970)

The first of the Vikings' four Super Bowl losses might not be well-remembered. The fact remains is they were 12-point favourites going in against the Kansas City Chiefs and lost by 16. No team ever favoured by such a large spread ever lost again until 1998, when a certain bunch of Cheeseheads, thanks to a couple key turnovers by a quarterback wearing No. 4, lost to Denver after being favoured by 13.



9. Smoot boat scandal (Oct. 6, 2005)

Easy enough to laugh this off now, but the general mood was less tolerant in 2005. Between Moss leaving and Culpepper suffering a thermonuclear knee injury, it was a rough few months.

8. Jim Marshall's wrong-way run (1964)

Marshall's record of playing in 282 consecutive games across 20 seasons basically makes him the NFL's answer to Cal Ripken Jr., except Ripken did not have to get cut-blocked or leg-whipped on a semi-regular basis. However, there's a belief the member of the Purple People Eaters is not in the Pro Football Hall of Fame all because of one boner he pulled in 1964.



7. Nooooo! Nooooooo! (Dec. 28, 2003)

Six years later, the question how? remains unanswered. An 11-point fourth-quarter lead against the worst team in the NFL should have been safe. Somehow, the Arizona Cardinals, led by depth-chart fillers such as Josh McCown and Nathan Poole, scored two touchdowns inside of the two-minute warning, helping Favre and the Green Bay Packers get into the playoffs, keeping the Vikings out after they had started the season 6-0. It also inspired an epic rant. Of course, since the best a Vikings fan can usually hope for is justice delayed, several years later the NFL changed the so-called force-out rule, so Nathan Poole's end-zone catch would not count if they were playing the game today. Of course, they're not playing the game today, even if some of us are just replaying it over and over.

6. Metrodome opens (April 3, 1982)

Let's get this straight: You gave up the best home-field advantage in the NFL? How did that work out? Baseball's Twins, the NBA's Timberwolves and the University of Minnesota football team have each scored swankier digs, but only the Vikings remain unable to score a modern stadium.

5. Korey Stringer's death (Aug. 1, 2001)

As a fan, there is a lot you-don't-wanna-know when it comes to the sacrifices pro athletes have to make. Springer's death due to complications from heat stroke uncovered the dark side of the sport. Pushing someone that far was so needless, so unnecessary that it hardly seemed like a game.

4. 41-doughnut (Jan. 14, 2001)

Have you ever sat there as a sports fan after your team lost by a slim margin and wondered if it would have been easier to take if they had never been in the game? Losing 41-0 in the NFC championship game to the New York Giants, getting shut out by a defence which had Jason Sehorn on it, well, there's your answer.

3. Drew Pearson pushes off (Dec. 28, 1975)

Pass interference is like obscenity. There is no definition of it, but everyone knows it when they see it. Pearson's look of restrained jubilation after catching the Hail Mary pass from Roger Staubach to beat the Vikings in the '75 playoffs is all the proof one needs to know he pushed off on Hall of Fame defensive back Paul Krause, even if the replays are actually inconclusive.



2. Herschel Walker trade (Oct. 12, 1989)

The trade was so bad the temptation is to believe it was a conspiracy to restore the Dallas Cowboys to NFL prominence and help the league's TV ratings recover in the wake of the 1987 strike. It's easier to accept that

1. Almost perfect (Jan. 17, 1999)

All together now: Damn! One can finally laugh a little about it now that has been spoofed by an Emmy-nominated sitcom. It's a burn, not a serious one mind you since this is just football, to never know how Randall Cunningham and Cris Carter might have done in a Super Bowl. It is clear the Vikings might have been headed for a fall, having flown to close to the sun on the wings of bad song parodies.



(It was the end of the 20th century. You try to forget, but booze only helps so much.)

Of course, there was more to it than Gary Anderson (who, as Marshall Eriksen/Jason Segel has noted, is now retired and owns a fly-fishing business ... in Canada), missing a 38-yard field goal that would have wrapped up the NFC title when he had not missed all season. There was more to it than the irony that the Atlanta Falcons' winning field goal was also from 38 yards and it was kicked by Morten Andersen, a Dane, meaning the Vikings' fate was sealed by an actual Viking.

It was the aftermath. In this case, it meant having to go out afterward to cover a hockey game for The Queen's Journal while wearing a Moss jersey (going home to change was not an option) and being asked, "So, who won? Last I checked Minnesota was way ahead."

The point is the obvious. Vikings fans have been through much. After reading the magic words, "Top 20 most disappointing things," it took maybe forty-five seconds to come up with about 18 of the items on this list. Put all of it together and we're Brett-proofed. Bring him in, already.

Snark break... don't cry for me, Kazakhstan

These are actual words from ...

... from actual Patriots haters: "I have to admit, the Pats got screwed." Don't get carried away with the small violins. The 11-5 Patriots had the weakest schedule in the NFL, so what if the 8-8 AFC West-winning San Diego Chargers happened to have the second-weakest. Besides, seeing the Dallas Cowboys miss the playoffs is pretty schadenfreulicious. New England is the loathsome team of the decade, but dissing Dallas is forever.

An actual hockey blog, The Two-Line Pass: "I don't get why World Juniors is so entertaining. On paper, you wouldn’t watch these hockey games with a nail gun to your temple." There have been 105 medals awarded in the tournament's history and 103 have gone to the Big Six, but still the IIHF persists with pitting Canada vs. Kazakhstan and Germany.

... an actual Minnesota Vikings fan: "Tarvaris Jackson is starting a playoff game." In the spirit of Lovie Smith's standby two seasons ago, where the Chicago Bears coach would say week after week, "Rex Grossman is our quarterback," Tarvaris Jackson will be fine vs. the Eagles. Really.

Another reason for a Vikes fan to be sanguine: Their out-of-division opponents next season include the San Francisco 49ers, Seattle Seahawks, Cincinnati Bengals, St. Louis Rams and Cleveland Browns.

... an actual NHL coach. Vancouver's Alain Vigneault said of the Senators last night, "This is not a physical defence," after the Canucks' easy 3-0 win last night.

(The Senators' extended road trip is the best advertisement for buying an XM radio. XM carries the home team's broadcaster for every game, so last night you would have heard the Vancouver broadcasters all but laughing over the Senators' struggles last night. Sic transit gloria, franchise that's been around since 1970 and hasn't won a Stanley Cup.)

... an actual observer at a Kingston Frontenacs game: "I think I had more people at my wedding," TV Cogeco's Tim Cunningham said of the crowd, announced at 2,867, at the Kingston Frontenacs' 4-1 loss to Belleville last night.

Another day in the life for the Frontenacs: They've made a mockery of the concept of leadership. Ethan Werek became the third player to wear the captain's "C" (called that one two weeks ago!), but the previous rotating captain, George Lovatsis, is no longer wearing an alternate captain's "A." It's 37 games into a 68-game season -- shouldn't a team have some idea of who should have a letter on his sweater?

Last but not least, an illegal forward pass might have been Brett Favre's final act on a NFL field.



This post is worth nothing, but this is worth noting

• Please, no Detroit Lions jokes. Considering everything Michiganders and people in the Windsor, Ont., area are going through with the upheaval in the auto industry, it's piling on.
  
• Calgary Flames prospect Daniel Ryder might have blown his second chance at a hockey career. From The Rink should likely have more later today.
• It's odd how things work out. The Belleville Bulls' Mike Murphy might be the best junior hockey goalie in Canada, and he's from the Kingston area. Once upon a time, Belleville native Andrew Raycroft was CHL goalie of the year while playing for Kingston.
• Thirty-three million people in Canada and The Hour has Sarah Palin as a guest on its New Year's Eve show.
  

Snark break...

... because some of us have a lot of problems with you people.

Said it before and will say it again: When a NHL team based in the Sun Belt actually pays to have people park at their arena, it's really, really tough to have a viable business.

The Phoenix Coyotes are probably OK. Look at it this way: The NHL and Commissioner Chip Diller are used to dealing with teams that are flat broke. This is old hat.

The New York Jets' Shaun Ellis should not have been fined for throwing a snowball at fans last weekend. They threw at him first, plus, if he had any kind of arm, the Jets would have made him the quarterback by now.

The charges against two Michigan State football players stemming from a fight with hockey players are ridiculous. People should be glad to see that football players from Michigan can actually beat somebody.

(Editor's note: You made a joke about a felony assault charge. Stay classy, Sagert.)

Two days later, The Daily Norseman can speak for this Minnesota Vikings fan, except for the part about Disney: "Yes, after two or three showers and a seemingly endless series of Disney movies, I feel that I've finally cleansed myself of the fact that I wasted three hours of my life last night hoping that a team completely devoid of talent, coaching, heart, guts, or pride could give us a hand by knocking off the Chicago Bears."

The Two-Line Pass has a look at the 10 stupidest hockey stories of 2008. Sean Avery only has a lock on two spots.

More great headlines that cannot be written: "Destruction, on the eve of." (Demolition on the Ottawa Congress Centre has begun.)

This post is worth nothing, but this is worth noting

• Take a moment today to think of the family and friends of Brennan Jarrett, the 19-year-old University of Saskatchewan basketball guard who died yesterday, 13 months after being diagnosed with cancer. There's a post up over at The CIS Blog.
  
  The Huskies are slated to play the Ottawa Gee-Gees on Sunday at the Wesmen Classic in Winnipeg.
  
• Loose Pucks is noted that the Mississauga-St. Michael's Majors got sniper Kaspar Daugavins back from the AHL, while the Niagara IceDogs owners want to keep all-everything D-man Alex Pietrangelo. These are the teams the Kingston Frontenacs are supposedly trying to catch in the OHL playoff race.
• Last but not least, some wise words from Muhummad Ali's biographer, Thomas Hauser:

  "One hundred years ago (on December 26, 1908), Jack Johnson won the heavyweight championship of the world by knocking out Tommy Burns in Sydney, Australia. Papa Jacks victory led to a “crisis” in boxing and controversy that was never fully resolved.
  
  "Times change. Now the United States has an African-American president-elect."

  That is from a pretty good column on Smokin' Joe Frazier, if anyone is interested.
• Attendance is down 5,000 per game for the first five NCAA football bowl games, this year compared to last.
  

Type rest of the post here

Snark break...

There had to be a better way ... and out of that, a new holiday was born...

It is funny how the Carolina Panthers defence didn't get a pass interference call against it all season until it really helped out the New York Giants.

(It also helped the Vikings, since next week is a nothing game for New York.)

True story: Retail outlets that have marked down their merchandise over the past few days refer to the practice as "Favreing."

Someone with a larger platform should connect the dots between Hockey Canada's shameless profiteering and forward Dana Tyrell's season-ending injury. Loading 18- and 19-year-old players up with three exhibition games to get ready for a six-game tournament tempts fate, but takes advantage of the teenagers, who aren't seeing a cut of all the revenue they generate for Hockey Canada and TSN. It's a lot to put on players that age and Tyrell's overexuberance might have cost him.

Scott Radley at the Hamiton Spectator did take on the World Juniors beast on Saturday. It was not far off from a post written here two years ago, which is fine as long as the message is getting to more people.

"That said, elements of the coverage are still way over the top. Let's be honest, as talented as many of the players are, a fair number will never play at this level again, no matter how often we're told about their heart, their special skills and their monster performances."

The upshot for Tyrell is that he did already sign his entry-level NHL contract two weeks with ago with the Tampa Bay Lightning, which is a wicked burn on their idiot owners.

Nolan Ryan, now the Texas Rangers' presidents, wants the team's pitchers to be more like him. They already do -- that's why they all have .500 records.

One possibility for the ECHL's Fresno Falcons, who are close to folding, is being transferred to a nonprofit organization. Only about half the U.S.-based NHL teams would fit the bill.

Please don't infer anyting about the sport from this: The contestant on Momma's Boys with the bigoted mother -- "Her no-go list included any girl who is black, Asian, Jewish, Muslim, tall, a 'fat-butt' or anyone from a broken home" -- is a college hockey player. Please don't make an overly obvious, tissue-thin connection.

You have to love how everyone's jumping all over a reporter in the NFL for crossing the line with a dumb question. The Detroit Lions have averaged four wins a season since 2002. The NFL's revenue-sharing system means they make money every year despite having a sucktacular team, but some reporter asking an inappropriate question, that's the outrage. The reality that you can be as bad as the Lions and not be forced to relocate is the obscenity.

This post is worth nothing, but this is worth noting:

• There is still no good news about the condition of Don Sanderson, the injured Whitby Dunlops player.
• You should click through to read this profile of Jerry LeVias, the first African-American football player in the Southwestern Conference.
• For those of you who enjoyed Michael Lewis' The Blind Side, the subject of his book, Michael Oher, is doing pretty well.
• Note to readers: Please say "yay" or "nay" as to whether you expect regular posting to continue through the holidays, so we know how to proceed from here until Jan. 2. Merry Christmas and a Happy Hanukkah.

Snark break...

Roberto Luongo was injured in the Canucks' game today. I never saw an entire team get helped off the ice before!

More great ledes that cannot be written: "It was classic Vince Carter and classic Sam Mitchell last night."

The New Jersey Nets would win the NBA championship if Carter could face the Raptors 82 times a season. All you need to know is that Carter is the worst kind of person for claiming these games against the Raptors don't matter -- it was five years ago -- and then acting like he won the Olympic gold medal and NBA title on the same day when his team beats the Raptors.

Honestly, Raptors fans have moved on, or would have, if the Raptors could hold an 18-point lead or find a way not have Jose Calderon guarding Vince Carter in the endgame. They blew 18-point lead, couldn't deny Carter the ball twice on sideline out-of-bounds plays at the end of a quarter, that falls on the coaching. They also ran a last-second play for Jamario Moon instead of Chris Bosh, which seems, well, odd. RaptorsTalk is already speculating that Dec. 17 is the "over/under" on Sam Mitchell's ouster.

You have to love this bit of arrogance from NHL second-in-command Bill Daly: "God bless the Canadians. The fact that they love hockey so much is great for us, and great for our business." Our business? Which country's fans are keeping this league alive ... just wait until Jim Balsillie gets his hooks into the Nashville Predators.

Pro Football Talk is up in arms over a video that shows a NFL executive celebrating after Brett Favre's Jets beat the Patriots in overtime. The NFL openly rooting for Favre? Never.



(No word of a lie, I was watching this episode with a family member who does not follow the NFL, doesn't know Brett Favre now plays for the Jets. Even he laughed.

Snark break ...

How's the weather down there, Sens fans?

A.J. Burnett, Red Sox or Yankee?

Diego Maradona wants the English to to get over the "Hand of God" goal. They will right around the time Argentina gets over the Falklands War.

Remember when the Senators' biggest problem was a modestly talented goalie with a malfunctioing alarm clock? Those were the days.

It's a mouthful, but you might want to commit it to memomy ... Baseball Digest Daily says the MVP Award should be MVPinASWSCfC — "Most Valuable Player in August and September With Special Consideration for Clutchability."

Claude Lemieux is playing hockey in China. He's already planning to dive off the Great Wall.

Apparently Brett Favre once said that the Calgary Stampeders' Henry Burris had the strongest arm he'd ever seen. Brett wasn't being modest — you never see yourself throw when you heave it blindly downfield.

Ashley Judd, watching the Kentucky Wildcats get curb-stomped by North Carolina. No doubt that's a beautiful sight if you're a Tar Heels fan.

The above is of dubious worth, but this is worth noting:

• Four days until a Colbert Christmas.
• Remember Stephen Curry, the son of former Raptor Dell Curry, who led tiny Davidson to college basketball's Elite Eight last March? He scored 44 points vs. Oklahoma last night.

It's his first day!

Brett Favre running a lap is good for the heart -- and not strictly his heart. That's New York Jets centre Nick Mangold trotting alongside him, so presumably they were paying a penalty for a fumbled snap.

Incidentally, does everyone remember The Simpsons when a wave of anti-immigrant fervour forces Apu, with some help from mobster Fat Tony, to "act American"? He starts wearing a Cowboy hat, saying the "Nye Mets are his favourite squadron" and tries to conceal his Indian accent? Would the Americanized Apu also cheer for the Nye Jets -- and would that create some tension between him and his parents, "Herb and Judy Nahasapeemapetilon, from Green Bay, Wisconsin"?

(Clip via Pro Football Talk.)

Favre finds that mediocre, generic team he's been looking for...

There's almost an empty feeling inside with the news that Brett Favre is going to play for the New York Jets. It's like we were all Stockholm Syndromed into depending on the Gunslinger to keep us fed. He always made the day begin.

He's going to play for the New York J-E-T-S Jets Jets Jets, for real? It beggars metaphor to describe what it's like, as a Minnesota Vikings fan, to know that Favre is out of the division -- and into one where his team has to play Tom Brady and Randy Moss twice a season. Imagine the Toronto Maple Leafs winning the Stanley Cup, or the fat kid from Superbad winning an Oscar. That almost describes what it's like, but not quite.

Our long national nightmare is over. Favre's -- have you watched the Jets' offensive line do their impression of the turnstiles at La Guardia? -- is just beginning. The spin-off of this is that Chad Pennington will become available, but he might not work for the Vikes -- his arm couldn't keep up Bernard Berrian's legs, as one must point out just to cheese off Chicago Bears fans.

Pennington would work for the Bears. They don't have any receivers he could underthrow.

(Football Outsiders says that the addition of Favre raises the Jets' mean expected wins from 7.2 to 7.6.

Related:
With Favre Around, No More Excuses For Mangini (William C. Rhoden, the New York Times)
The Day It Was Fun To Be A Jet Fan (SimonOnSports)

Damn Vikings: Packers management's pride goeth before the fall...

Those Cheesehead hats the Green Bay faithful wear should be wrapped in tinfoil.

So much for theorizing that all roads lead to Minnesota for Brett Favre. The conspiracy theorists must be wondering how heavy a hand the NFL exercised in gerrymandering the Packers' embarrassing about-face.

Connect the dots. The perpetually buzz-starved NFL Network is broadcasting live from the Packers training camp tomorrow night. It doesn't take a TV exec to know that even though the Packers are among the teams who are always a good TV property when they're winning, they become a better one to the weekend-only sports fans if there's a whiff of drama over which quarterback is going to play — the legend who's already a monument (at least Favre doesn't move like one in his dotage, the way Dan Marino did) or the youngblood, Aaron Rodgers, who's been stewing on the bench for three seasons.

The NFL has already exercised plausible deniability, with Commissioner Roger Goodell initially saying, "I was interjected into it because there was a tampering charge initially. I’m not looking for things to interject myself to." (As if the commissioner of football would by shy.)

It's either that or Aaron Rodgers has been barely outplaying third-round draft choice Brian Brohm at Green Bay training camp, and the Packers wanted some insurance.

There's a small chance this will all blow over. No NFL team has yet had its season go completely down the drain before the first exhibition game. Green Bay, for all the Chicken Littleing going on among the Cheeseheads, was still close to making the Super Bowl last season and remains a consensus favourite to win the NFC North. Favre on the Minnesota Vikings would have been surreal, and it would have meant more national TV appearances for a perennially underappreciated team, but so be it. While some of us were ready to lay the purple pride aside and welcome a quarterback who's perceived to be better than Tarvaris Jackson, it's more fun watching Packers fans squirm.

Bonus points to Packers president Mark Murphy for using the Rubicon analogy.

(Digression: Isn't annoying how the media turns an intricate, highly technical team sport like football into an episode of The Hills? Don't we all want more nuts-and-bolts, Xs-and-Os football talk? The Cowboys are experimenting with a two-back offence with Marion Barber as a fullback and rookie Felix Jones as the tailback. Isn't that a lot more exciting than talking about Brett Favre? On second thought, no, people love drama.)

Last but not least, the stuff you can't make up: The Favre drama is winding down on the same weekend that the Green Bay Press-Gazette is running a special feature, the "State of Drinking: How our love of alcohol shapes Wisconsin's cultural landscape."

Far be it to judge the Cheeseheads if they're reaching for the beer and spirits a little more quickly as this fiasco spirals toward something resembling denouement ("the final unravelling"). It must be said the Packers fans brought this on themselves. This is what happens when you rhyme parties with Lombardi:



Related:
Negotiations dead; Favre to compete for starting job (Packers Blog)

Brett Favre draws the line at 117 unreturned phone calls

Can you imagine Packers GM Ted Thompson getting this voice mail? "Maybe I didn't really know you. Maybe you were just a mirage. Maybe the world is full of food and football and spectacle and we're all just hurling towards an apocalypse, in which case it's not your fault. I'm been thinking about all these things and... you're probably standing there monitoring. And one more thing -- about the letter. Nuke it. Flame it. Destroy it. It hurts me to know it's out there. Later."

(This post was up before word of the Favrian fax spread throughout the world.)

Brett Favre in The Desirable Sports Scandal

Maybe people are becoming drunk with the excess of this whole ordeal. Sports Illustrated writer Steve Aschburner initially perplexed me when he wrote an article today about the jealousy other leagues - most notably the NBA - must be feeling towards the NFL at the moment. Aschburner states his claim at the start:

It is, quite possibly, the most overwrought, snarky, hand-wringing, interminable, nitpicked and some would say nitwitted story in the history of professional sports.

And yet, deep down inside, you get the feeling that the NBA and the other leagues envy the NFL for its Brett Favre saga, at least a little bit.

Beyond the unnecessary over inflation of an already over inflated story (biggest news story in the history of all professional sports? REALLY...?), what initially confused me was how this was different than any other sport in any other offseason; since, you know, EVERY SPORT has its drama that captures the sporting world's attention for more than a moment every year! But that's not the point of this scandal, not to me anyways; it's the lack of a deeper, more serious issue present that makes this scandal so desirable.

Personally speaking I feel the reason that should draw the envy of other Leagues and Associations is, plain and simple, the lack of any insidious extracurriculars involved with this story. The NFL has got to love that recent stories of a very negative nature which caught the attention and even the ire of people of all walks of life right across the nation (if not the world) have been replaced by a player who loves to dance and a superstar with a strong desire to return to the field of play claiming the headlines. Aschburner briefly points out why a story like this is great (wish he had expanded more upon this however, rather than focus on the return from retirement angle he chose):

An offseason news story that dominates the media...A topic crammed with all sorts of emotions and intrigue, yet ultimately about the game and its X's and O's...Involving a transcendent, cinch-Hall of Fame player, one of the best ever at his sport's glamour position, in what arguably is the league's most passionate and insular market

I'll take this purely sports related event over performance enhancing drug scandals, match-fixing fiascos, politics crossing over into the realm of the sports or athletes paraded off to court and/or prison for their misdeeds both on and off the field of play. A messy break-up on a sports level: a player who wants to come back and play for his team, while the team can't allow him to do so since they are trying to move on and just won't allow themselves to take him back...it's almost a love story! (well, a love and lost story is likely the more appropriate description).

As hard as it will be to ever see Favre suit up in anything but a Packers jersey no animals were harmed or mistreated and Brett will not be called in front of Congress anytime soon: I consider this an overall improvement, and hopefully future scandals take notice.

Snark break

Competing for the stupid and ugly award, in case one is ever created ...

Brett Favre to the J-E-T-S Jets Jets Jets? Far be it to suggest someone from Mississippi would be impressed by the fans' ability to spell the team name.

People still drive directly to a sports event in Toronto? Apparently the turnip truck wasn't taking passengers.

More great headlines that can never be written: "Six synonyms for carpetbaggers" would have worked perfectly for the story about Oklahoma City patenting possible names for Seattle's NBA team.

Deadspin had a post yesterday about a football offence that doesn't require any offensive linemen. It's lot like how the Tampa Bay Lightning are planning to play this season without any defencemen. (Mike Smith, the gentleman goalie from Verona, is in for a long year.)

(Seriously, though, this offence is intriguing ... of course, remember when Texas Tech coach Mike Leach, one of college football's big X-and-Os gurus, was profiled in the New York Times by none other than Michael Lewis ... you made a point to clear some time to watch Texas Tech play in the Cotton Bowl on New Year's Day -- and they scored 10 flippin' points.)

The CFL can compete very well, thank you

"I definitely hate the idea of Buffalo coming up here. I really dislike it. I mean, they're stepping on our turf. This is our turf -- this is the CFL. They definitely have no business coming up here." -- Argonauts defensive end Jonathan Brown, on TSN's Really Off The Record

It's a nice sentiment that one hopes doesn't lead to Jonathan Brown ending up in a gulag -- woe be unto people who stand in the way of Ted Rogers and manifest destiny.

It's worth pointing out tha BillsInToronto.com is still flogging ticket packages less than a month away from next month's Steelers-Bills exhibition game (not pre-season) at the world's largest Rogers Video outlet.

The CFL seems to be holding its own pretty well. Scoring is up (partially due to happenstance, better offensive line play, some laissez-faire application of offensive holding) and the first four weeks have already had several cliffhanger finishes.

The Brown quote is via Pro Football Talk. So NFL Security visited the Vikings over the Brett Favre/cell phone calls story? The funny thing about that is that Favre apparently called the Vikings coaches; they didn't call him. That's kind of central to the whole story.

(How did a CFL post get spun around to Brett Favre, who couldn't find Canada on a map? See how Favre ruins everything!)

New feature alert: Snark break

Getting the stupid and ugly out of one's system by lunch hour ...

Mats Sundin still hasn't decided. Prediction: He's going to drag this out past July 31, Chuck Swirsky's last day at the FAN 590.

The one Friday Night Lights spoiler you haven't heard about: The writers plan to introduce a character named "Brett." He graduated from Dillon High in 1987, but his friends keep dropping hints that he plans to get off his lawn tractor and show up for two-a-day practices in August, even though he wasn't invited.

The Winnipeg Blue Bombers have named Ryan Dinwiddie their starting quarterback. Unfortunately, they couldn't trade with Saskatchewan to get his favourite receiver, James Johnson. (Johnson plays defence for the 'Riders and Dinwiddie threw three INTs to him in the Grey Cup. To quote Rainier Wolfcastle, That's the joke.)

The Raptors lost Carlos Delfino to a deal in Russia, but when an American NBAer, Josh Childress, talks about getting a better deal in Greece than he can in the NBA, people start noticing.

Most of the Senators are participating in Jason Spezza's celebrity golf tournament. Brian McGrattan is a healthy scratch — they're making him watch from the clubhouse. 

How long before people can start making "what time can you be here?" jokes about calling the Ottawa Rapidz' office to ask when the game starts? Attendance was 1,106 last night. It's heartbreaking.

Speaking of the Buds ... the Leafs are playing at home on Thanksgiving Monday, October 13. It’s appropriate, since for 13 years, they surrounded Mats Sundin with a lot of turkeys.

Note to Chris Bosh: You're an early adopter. We get it.



Last but not least, please click through to see the "Brokeback Centre" logo SooToday.com has posted alongside an item announcing that the fine city of Sault Ste. Marie, will have a new corporate name on their hockey arena. Careful, SooToday.com -- you could get sued for that!

("Snark Break," which is literally the lazy man's alternative to those Body Break PSAs that a generation of Canadians know and love, will be a recurring feature at OOLF. Yes, yes, just like the "Zen Dayley," which has seldom been daily. It's one outlet for the glib, smartalecky comments that we like to think better of making.)

That's all for now. Send your thoughts to neatesager@yahoo.ca.

Office Buzz: Onwards and Upwards in the NFL!

It appears NFL teams are making room for greener pastures that lay ahead. The start of training camp appears to also be the parting of ways with troublesome players.

It started with yesterday afternoon's development and finalization (in a matters of hours), that sent Jason Taylor from the Miami Dolphins to the Washington Redskins, ending a saga that thankfully had sort of vanished into the background finally, and ensuring it won't appear again any time soon! (although as a devoted Dolphins fan it's hard for this writer to see Taylor move on, it's both better for the team AND for Taylor himself!). This move, which eliminated the 3 team trade rumour between the Saints-Giants-Dolphins, led to the next logical step: ESPN just reported this hour that the New York Football Giants have sent Jeremy Shockey packing to the New Orleans Saints , and just like in the finale of the dancing drama down in South Florida the Shockey trade was made for a couple draft picks, from initial reports.

While not tied down to these trades directly, the last few troublesome players in need of resolution are Brett Favre and Chad Johnson - although Favre would make sense in Miami ending the complication with that team at the pivot, coming out of retirement to rebuild a team makes no sense at all! And perhaps at that point, when these two are no longer nagging concerns, it will signal the arrival of the upcoming season! While I can imagine Ocho-Cinco sitting an entire season as easily as easily as I can picture Favre in purple & gold, hey anything can happen!

I am relieved to see the distractions in New York and Miami have been moved, it helps improve other teams in the League while allowing us to get away from hearing the same talk ALL SEASON LONG! For the same reasons I want Favre and Johnson sorted out, a backstory about coming back to play their team certainly beats locker room chatter and disgruntled players lashing out against their teams anyhow.

Not sure that my wishes will be granted, but it's always worth holding out hope that they do come true! With potentially the easiest schedule they've seen in some time the Patriots seemed poised to make another run at perfection, so maybe some controversy would be a nice addition to the upcoming season - however I'd rather the discussion surround knocking off the would-be Champs rather than bickering millionaires, just me personally anyways...

Thou shalt not covet thy rival's ex-quarterback...

The upshot is that if this is true, it probably puts an end to any talk of Brett Favre being resplendent in purple-and-white on Sept. 8 at Lambeau Field. There's about as much chance of it happening now as the Packers defence being unable to get a stop on fourth-and-26 (whoops, bad example):

"In the latest twist, the Packers have filed tampering charges with the league office against the Minnesota Vikings for alleged communication with Favre, still technically a member of Green Bay, FOXSports.com has learned. The league, according to a source, is currently in information-gathering mode, speaking to members of both teams.

"The Vikings were informed late last week that the allegation is that Favre has had inappropriate dialogue with Minnesota offensive coordinator Darrell Bevell, a close Favre friend and former assistant coach with the Packers. Favre has sought his release from Green Bay and several rumors have swirled that Minnesota is his targeted landing place, largely due to his relationship with Bevell." -- Jay Glazer, FOXsports.com (via Access Vikings)

The second read on this is that Favre might be close to winning his freedom and the Packers really want to tmake sure he doesn't sign in Minnesota (which would gain the most from adding the Gunslinger). Losing draft picks -- not to mention some face -- might be a good impediment.

It's not often that a NFL team accuses another of tampering -- it's rarely reported when it happens during free agency, but post Spygate, the NFL might take a harder line.

(Update, July 16: ProFootballTalk.com is reporting Green Bay "might already have the phone records" of conversations between Favre and the Vikings, which if it's true, could be very, very bad.)

The Summer of Brett, cont'd... (updated, of course)

So do you want a symposium of Favre talk, or what?

The feeling here is that Favre ought to call the Green Bay Packers' bluff and show up to training camp -- there's nothing stopping him.

(Update: The latest, as Dennis points out in the comments, is that the Packers have vowed not to release the Favrerian one. In other words, he can come be Aaron Rodgers' backup -- fat chance of that happening. It's ancient history, but he wasn't the eager backup during his one-year whistle stop in Atlanta years and years ago.)

Drew Magary (Kissing Suzy Kolber's Big Daddy Drew): "So you wanna play for the Vikings now, asshole? Well, Daddy already picked a Chosen One on their squad. So get bent. If you do manage to go turn that team into a goddamn soap opera, I got a radical new throw for you. It’s called a pitch-out. Give the ball to that fucker in the backfield who can run through an ice floe.

Otherwise, you can suck my holy balls."

Peter King: "Mark my words: Unless Favre agrees to some sort of handshake, gentleman agreement that he'll steer clear of the NFC North, there's no way the Packers will allow him to go free."

Judd Zulgad (Minny Star-Tribune): "A sports radio station out of Milwaukee, WSSP, is reporting on its website that the Vikings 'already have inquired about signing [Brett] Favre, pending his release from the Packers.' (Technically, the Vikings would have had to call the Packers because Favre is under contract to the team.)

Tom Pelissero (Green Bay Press-Gazette): "...there is a substantial faction of younger (Packers) who are eager to play with (Aaron) Rodgers. Favre is at least a decade older than all but six guys on the roster. He dressed in his own locker room. He had minimal social interaction with teammates. Rodgers is one of the guys, and plenty of them are pulling for him."

Adam Schefter (yes, he actually spelled "come back" as one word): "Should Favre opt to comeback before training camp kicks off later this month, he and the Packers will have to reach some type of agreement as to where he will play. There are some within the Packers organization hesitant to allow him to do it there, and others who are more receptive to the idea."

"While Minnesota certainly could have interest in Favre the problem is that there is no indication the Packers are going to grant Favre his wish and release him."

(Update: Favre-carvers rejoice: Former Packers nosetackle Gilbert Brown doesn't want No. 4 taking the spotlight off him during his induction into the Packers Hall of Fame on July 20.)

NFC Norris: The Bretting lines...

I have a post up at Epic Carnival about one of the little sidebars to the Brett Favre speculation -- an online sportsbook is offering all manner of betting lines on whether the Gunslinger will come out of forced retirement.

That's the modern way, isn't it? You have to give overly opinionated types an outlet to put their money where their mouths are (as long as it's discretionary income and not the milk-and-egg money, right, he winked). A couple of faves, after the jump:

• Mostly likely to play for the Packers? 1-1
• Most likely to play for the Vikings? 2-1
• Most likely to play for the Chicago Bears? 2-1
• Join ABC/ESPN broadcasting team? 1-2
• Join NBC broadcasting team? 5-1
• Coach Pop Warner football? 5-1
• Coach NCAA football? 100-1
• Run for political office in Wisconsin? 100-1
• In Green Bay? 65-1
• Most likely to play for the Patriots? 750-1

It's just a little harmless fun. It was really nice of BetUS Sportsbook to set such favourable odds on Favre joining the Vikings, since (a) fools and their money are soon parted and (b) it just's one more way to torture a fanbase that's been tortured plenty since January 17, 1999 (no need to go into details).

Daily Norseman, the Leroy Hoard of Vikings blogs, already noted a couple days ago that it would be semi-halfway nightmarish if Favre went to Minnesota and the Vikes went to the Super Bowl. Sure, they would be in the big game for the first time since the week after I was born (really), but the media coverage would be All About Brett. It wouldn't be about, to carry out the fantasy, Adrian Peterson rushing for 2,000 yards this season or Jared Allen setting a single-season sacks record without an opposing quarterback taking a dive for him in the final week of the season, in a non-passing situation.

Then again, if there's anything Vikings fans can understand, it's irony -- what other team's fans would put together a video that plays off a speech from a presidential candidate who's a Bears fan?



Hey, if the U.S. is ready to elect an African-American president, maybe the Vikings are ready for a Super Bowl (OK, not really on the latter).

Related:
The Favre situation (Access Vikings)