Tuesday, July 22, 2008

New feature alert: Snark break

Getting the stupid and ugly out of one's system by lunch hour ...

Mats Sundin still hasn't decided. Prediction: He's going to drag this out past July 31, Chuck Swirsky's last day at the FAN 590.

The one Friday Night Lights spoiler you haven't heard about: The writers plan to introduce a character named "Brett." He graduated from Dillon High in 1987, but his friends keep dropping hints that he plans to get off his lawn tractor and show up for two-a-day practices in August, even though he wasn't invited.

The Winnipeg Blue Bombers have named Ryan Dinwiddie their starting quarterback. Unfortunately, they couldn't trade with Saskatchewan to get his favourite receiver, James Johnson. (Johnson plays defence for the 'Riders and Dinwiddie threw three INTs to him in the Grey Cup. To quote Rainier Wolfcastle, That's the joke.)

The Raptors lost Carlos Delfino to a deal in Russia, but when an American NBAer, Josh Childress, talks about getting a better deal in Greece than he can in the NBA, people start noticing.

Most of the Senators are participating in Jason Spezza's celebrity golf tournament. Brian McGrattan is a healthy scratch — they're making him watch from the clubhouse. 

How long before people can start making "what time can you be here?" jokes about calling the Ottawa Rapidz' office to ask when the game starts? Attendance was 1,106 last night. It's heartbreaking.

Speaking of the Buds ... the Leafs are playing at home on Thanksgiving Monday, October 13. It’s appropriate, since for 13 years, they surrounded Mats Sundin with a lot of turkeys.

Note to Chris Bosh: You're an early adopter. We get it.

Last but not least, please click through to see the "Brokeback Centre" logo SooToday.com has posted alongside an item announcing that the fine city of Sault Ste. Marie, will have a new corporate name on their hockey arena. Careful, SooToday.com -- you could get sued for that!

("Snark Break," which is literally the lazy man's alternative to those Body Break PSAs that a generation of Canadians know and love, will be a recurring feature at OOLF. Yes, yes, just like the "Zen Dayley," which has seldom been daily. It's one outlet for the glib, smartalecky comments that we like to think better of making.)

That's all for now. Send your thoughts to neatesager@yahoo.ca.


Dennis Prouse said...

Shouldn't a Can-Am League team like the Rapids be able to live off 1,100 a game some nights? It's low, granted, but weeknight games always draw less. I thought the whole idea of having an independent league team here was that crowds of this nature on occasion wouldn't be cause for great concern. What kind of average attendance do they need to hit to make a go of it?

sager said...

That's a good question, Dennis, at first -- this is off memory -- it was said they needed something similar to what the Lynx would average from June 1 through Labour Day, which was about 2,500.

Quebec averages 3,000, and Ottawa is the league's largest city by a fair margin. With a good team, you would think we would average that.

Dennis Prouse said...

Having a team in dead last certainly doesn't help attendance, and ensures that the bloom comes off the rose pretty quickly for any fair weather fans. Still, I just checked the Can-Am website, and Ottawa is in the middle of the pack for attendance, averaging 2,186 a night. Being more competitive on the field would certainly help that figure.

sager said...

True ... although some have questioned the veracity of those attendance figures. The games I've been at haven't seemed to match up with what was announced.

Is someone going to do the "Dear Jim" letter?

Dear Jim,

Ottawa does not have fair weather fans.


Ray Emery, on behalf of the Ottawa Rough Riders, Ottawa Lynx/Lehigh Valley IronPigs, Ottawa Rebel and Ottawa Renegades

Remember, if it's in italics, then I don't mean it!

John Edwards said...

I doubt the announced attendance is the actual turnstile count. My guess is they use "tickets sold" or (worse) "tickets distributed" to determine their number.

Dennis Prouse said...

The Ottawa 67s are the kings of the "tickets distributed" number. They routinely announce attendance at 9,000 when there are at least 2,000 fewer than that in the house.