Snark break...

Come on, Sags ... calling Canada a post-literate society, you can't say that.

Canada beat Germany 5-1 last night at the world juniors. Never before has a team outshot its opponent by such a margin -- 49-13 -- and still come through such adversity.

Another great headline that could not be written: "Canucks Grubauered." By the way,

Forty-three-year-old Claude Lemieux has signed a NHL contract with the San Jose Sharks. He's older than Joseph -- the one in the Old Testament, not the one in Toronto.

The Detroit Lions are on the wrong side of another blowout, that being the competition for worst defence in recent NFL history. The two previous marks were each held by the Minnesota Vikings; those teams actually made the playoffs.

A Toronto columnist might need all of next year to live down writing of Mats Sundin that, "The guy's only crime is that he's not a mercenary, that he's true." (Down Goes Brown has the takedown.)

It's so nice to see philanthropic efforts pay off -- Oklahoma State and the University of Oregon have deep-pocketed donors and their teams are in the Pacific Life Holiday Bowl.

Last, and certainly least, Darcy Tucker vs. Jordin Tootoo -- it's hard to figure out who to root for in that scenario.


This post was worth nothing, but this is worth noting

• Please don't infer anything from the fact German goalie Philipp Grubauer, who made made 44 saves against Canada, plays for the Belleville Bulls. The Kingston Frontenacs brain trust would hate it if you said, "Does this mean Belleville's backup goalie is playing with more confidence than Kingston's starter?" or "does this show why you should take the CHL import draft seriously?"
• Last but not least, two weeks later, can someone please answer why it's significant that Marshall Eriksen (Jason Segel) was wearing a No. 70 Vikings jersey on a recent episode of How I Met Your Mother? A playoff game hangs in the balance, plus someone here is pretty much addicted to that show, and why not?
  
  
  
  
• Happy New Year. Plans are to see Slovakia-Russia today at the World Juniors (and, uh, see if anyone is Blagoing tickets for the Sweden-Russia game).

The screwballs have spoken!

It's not on par with predicting that Mats Sundin would end up in Vancouver on the same day the Ottawa Senators put Jason Spezza on the third line.

Nevertheless, it's funny to see that Deadspin had to ask for an end to sports-themed jokes about Muthathar al-Zaidi, five days after someone else said it was not in play as comedy material.

"The pain that the Bush Administration inflicted on Iraqis is such that you probably can't make a sports joke. Please, let's not have any jokes that with an arm like that, the Detroit Lions should give a tryout to Muthathar al-Zaidi." -- this site, last Sunday

Of course, no one listened. Americans can always draw amusement out of bringing democracy to someone else's country.

"Many people submitted multiple versions of what is essentially the same joke and we already posted a couple of them days ago, so you can probably stop making them now. And simply changing the crappy team in the punchline doesn't make it more original. Folks tried the Cubs, the Lions, the (baseball) Giants, the Pirates, the Bills ... basically anyone who roots for a horrible team has, at some point in the last week, made some kind of zinger along the lines of "Boy, maybe [pathetic sports franchise] should sign that guy!" Then they chuckled softly to themselves and shook their head wistfully, while everyone around them rolled their eyes and pretended to look for a lighter ball. (In my mind, this story takes place at a bowling alley.) It's the mid-December 2008 version of the "black box" joke. ("Why don't they make the plane out of that?!")" -- Deadspin, just now

You can't say we didn't try.

A Sundin symposium; the chatter about Captain Indecisive

Everyone, give yourselves a round of applause for helping turn Mats Sundin's career into one brain-bashingly repetitive free-agency rumour.

Leafs fans had plenty of time to get ready for this and it was just a business decision. Anyway, some people do have strong opinions about it, and here's a just a few.

"This whole process has revealed Sundin to be the exact entity he insisted he wasn't 10 months ago — a hired gun. Nothing more. Nothing less.

"His decision to come back makes a mockery of his stand last season, when he refused to waive his no-trade clause so the Toronto Maple Leafs could move him to a Stanley Cup contender. Sundin insisted his heart was in Toronto and that joining a team just for a playoff run would somehow cheapen the moment.

"Funny how all that went out the window as he makes plans to descend on Vancouver in late December, having played his last serious hockey on March 29 and having decided (we assume) the Canucks' dough looked more appealing than whatever the New York Rangers could come up with."
— Scott Burnside

"It's going to be pretty interesting to see when Roberto Luongo comes back from what is reportedly a pretty serious groin issue. Sundin may provide more offence, but they need their No. 1 goaltender to have a chance in the Western Conference."
— James Mirtle

"Hold on...did we just sign Toronto's sloppy seconds?"
— Orland Kurtenblog

"And it's not hard to see a lot of ways this could end badly. You could get hurt (you're 38, and who knows what kind of shape you're in). You may not have the competitive fire anymore (after all, it took you this long to decide you still wanted to play). The Canucks could fall short when it mattered (since they're, you know, the Canucks).

"You could be headed towards your Jerry-Rice-as-a-Seahawks stage, your Michael-Jordan-as-a-Wizard days.

"And if that happens, everyone will line up to bury you. And that's not what I want, because right or wrong you're a Leaf for life."
— Down Goes Brown


"We're not totally sold on this being a good move for Vancouver or any team really. Obviously on paper, Sundin helps any team. He's a world class player. But he hasn't played a game since April. How long will it take for him to get into game shape and how long will it take for him to mesh into a squad which has been together since September?
— Empty Netters

"Mats is buggered no matter what he says now:

• All about the journey - he signs half-way through the season
• Not about the money — took more to play in Vancouver
• About winning the cup — signed with the 'Nucks who have a long-term injury to (Roberto) Luongo."

— Pension Plan Puppets

"I didn't want the old guy but now he's here for a million more than Luongo and for basically half the season. Cute. Pressure’s on. You’re MY old guy now so I get to bitch to no end.

"This isn’t some sort of odd vacation Mats. We have a team that’s doing better then expected, a GM willing to take a risk and a nation of fans who were just reminded last night of how close we once were and how badly we want to be back there.

"So help me God if you let us down…"
— Yankee Canuck

"I know it's not rational, but if it were about that I wouldn't be a Leafs fan at all. All I know is, a few days or weeks from now I'll be walking around and I'll see someone in a Canucks jersey. As they pass by, I'll notice it reads SUNDIN 13. And that'll just feel wrong as all hell.

"So thanks for the memories, Mats. It'll be great seeing you honoured at the ACC in a few years. In the meantime I hope your new team tanks, Luongo's groin explodes, and you miss the playoffs."
-- Cox Bloc

"For now Mats, you are dead to me."
— PPP

Mats who?

For those still paying attention, Bob McCown just reported that he's been told that Mats Sundin will sign with the Rangers this week. For all of his bluster, when McCown breaks something it's usually right.

It's too bad. Montreal would have been far more amusing.

Ask and you Schenn receive

No pressure kid. It’s just that every John, Bill and Todd in Oakville, Newmarket and Milton is counting on you. We've been loyal fans after all. We've even subscribed to Leafs TV—Todd sometimes watches those Leafs classic games. There is a great game from ’77 against the North Stars when Sittler gets a hat-trick. Man, it brings back the memories. That was the year for Todd. He convinced Kristin—God, what was her last name again?—to go out with him and, well…good times, good times.

Of course you weren’t yet on the scene in 1977 Luke. A glimmer in your daddy’s eye, so they say. So, try not to concern yourself with the pressure we, Leafs Nation ™ are putting on your 18-year-old shoulders. We’re just kind of desperate here, you know. I mean if Cliff had convinced Mats to come back (at least he's not going to Montreal, eh? That would have been hard to take), or if Tucker we’re still around, then we’d have something more to look forward to.

We know that there are no guarantees in the NHL draft. For every Chris Pronger there is a Luke Richardson (and we’d actually take another Richardson, but we won’t admit that without a few beers in us). But, there has been so little hope to hope for lately that it’s all on you kid.

But, no pressure. We don’t mean to eat you alive. We don’t want to run you out of town—maybe booing you like we did Larry Murphy. We sure don’t want to watch you score an overtime winner against us for Columbus sometime in 2011. ‘Cause that would really suck.

We really do think it’s a great idea to have to stick from camp. To run you out there every night during this 72-point (if we are lucky) season. I’m sure you will learn the craft well on the wrong end of 7-2 losses to Ottawa. We won’t try to blame you. We won’t try to erode your confidence.

But, we can’t make any promises.

We Be-Leaf! Stanley here we come!!

Snark break...

Hopefully, the stupid and ugly doesn't stay in the system all day.

The Hater Nation is jumping the gun a little by trying to figure out which NFL team has got the best shot at going 0-16.

Why hasn't there been anything here on that 82-0 women's hockey game? It's Geek Code -- don't blab on about a sport or a league that you ordinarily ignore. Until 10 days, that was the "U of T Varsity Blues" rule.

Truer words might have never been accidentally spoken about big-time college football: Tim Tebow on the Miami Hurricanes: "They are paid to stop us."

The life of a baseball prospect: Being assigned to the Hawaiian Winter League means Buster Posey will play for five teams in one calendar year. At this point, he doesn't ask where he's going, he just says, "What colour undershirt?"

The Terrier Hockey Fan Blog is calling shenanigans on any inference that Ethan Werek chose the Kingston Frontenacs because the hockey in the USHL is poor quality.

Hate to pull out the easy reference, but Larry Mavety is Lisa Simpson in that episode where the family gets a backyard pool. "He's just using you to help his draft status." ... "Shut up, brain!"

It's best left unexamined what it says about anyone who watches this Tom Brady clip more than 25 times in succession. Please keep it in the low 20s.



(By the way, the male Democratic vice-presidential nominee is more of a feminist than the female Republican one has been. (Charging women for rape kits, really?)

Snark break ...

We've got a long way to go, and a short time to get there... R.I.P., Jerry Reed.

• Mats Sundin isn't sure yet whether trading Bryan McCabe to Florida is a good move for the Leafs, since the deal was only worked out three weeks ago.
  
  (If you ever end up in a car with Sundin, make sure you've got a lot of snacks and bottled water -- just in case he comes upon a fork in the road.)
• Toronto is stealing the NFL's Bills, but Buffalo could end up getting the Blue Jays' top farm club in exchange. If giving Buffalo a minor-league baseball team in exchange for the Bills seems like just an average trade, remember, it is Toronto.
• It's inaccurate to say the Atlanta Braves' 16-14 win over Florida Marlins last night was "by a football score." The Falcons or Dolphins would never score that many points.
• Patriots coach Bill Belichick was quoted saying the other day, "We will give you the injury report on Friday. We will give you the practice report after we practise."
  
  Shame on any of you for tacking on, "But if you want the other team's defensive signals, we're keepin' that to ourselves."
• Taking a quarterback in the first round of the NFL draft is just a bad idea.
• Talk on the web is that there was supposed to be a special shootout after the Kingston Frontenacs' first exhibition game against Peterborough on Monday, but Larry Mavety pulled his team off the ice.
  
  This is the first time the Frontenacs organization has ever shown a blatant disregard for fans, not counting the past 10 seasons.
• Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin is said to "understand Canadian issues." That puts her one up on Stephen Harper and Stephane Dion.
• It's not sports, but English teachers should show this clip from CNN just to teach the meaning of obfuscate:
  
  

Semi-halfway interesting, but not three-quarters interesting:

• Gatineau Olympiques grad, goalie Ryan Mior, could get a contract from the Columbus Blue Jackets.
• Speaking of Alaska Gov. Palin, she wouldn't be the first prominent female politician who was an avid athlete, but she is a Title IX baby: "I can't imagine where I'd be without the opportunities provided to me in sports. Sports taught me that gender isn't an issue; in fact, when people talk about me being the first female governor, I'm a little absent from that discussion, because I've never thought of gender as an issue."
• What would have happened to Boobie Miles of Friday Night Lights fame (he was the real-life Smash Williams) if he'd been born 20 years later?

Snark break...

• Mats Sundin is returning to Toronto next week out of charity. Wasn't that why he stayed in Toronto so long in the first place?
  
• According to Stephen King, TV ruined baseball. Has he not heard of Scott Boras?
  
• Stephen Colbert on John McCain: "John McCain could be the guy next door, literally. He owns a lot of houses."
• Silly college football. The first weekend of the season includes a game with national-title implications, Missouri vs. Illinois. Don't they know that at this point in the calendar, they should be playing nothing games involving third-stringers who have no chance of being on the field when it really matters? That's how the NFL does it.
  
• It's probably no consolation to Sennies supporters, but the Tampa Bay Lightning's owners who bogarted Andrej Meszaros, also like real low-class bums when they can get away with it.
  
  The NHL has a major blind spot about the reality that Americans are introduced to sports through high schools and colleges. That's why it's borderline bloody scandalous that Oren Koules' and Len Barrie's team bolted on a a commitment to host a college holiday tournament. I can appreciate a good screwing-over of Notre Dame as much as the next guy, but talk about short-sighted and stupid, especially when no less than 10 Lightning are NCAA alumni.

It's kind of a big deal, but not so much it gets a unique post:

• The St. Louis Rams should just move back to L.A. already, if there's going to be a NFL team there.
• chances of one of the Ottawa Rapidz' league rivals might fold after this season.
• Offensive tackle Scott Mitchell, of Manotick, and his Rice Owls put up 56 points in their college football opener. Granted, it was against Southern Methodist, but from Cliches 101, any time the quarterback throw six touchdown passes and the team has its highest-scoring season opener since World War II, it's a positive.
  
  (Out of Left Field is on the search for a college football team. The school has to have a veneer of academic credibility -- apologies to SEC schools not named Vanderbilt -- at least a remote chance of playing in a bowl game-- apologies to Vanderbilt -- and no chance whatsoever at ever cracking the BCS. It's better that way, as a fan. You know where you stand.)

Snark break: 'Chad loses Johnson' headlines are overly obvious

Bengals wideout Chad Johnson reportedly is trying to apparently wants to legally change his last name to Ocho Cinco (eight-five, his jersey number).

You have to feel for the NFL. The boys in the boardroom probably thought they were in the clear after the XFL, which had the brainstorm to let players have a nickname instead of their actual name on the back of their jersey (Remember Rod Smart's "He Hate Me" jersey?), was laughed out of existence.

This is either a desperate plea for attention or pure genius. Here's hoping Johnson goes through with it, because then what happens if he's traded to a team where another player is already wearing No. 85. The negotating price to get the number would probably start at $1 million.

In a related story, more accomplished NFL receivers Randy Moss, Terrell Owens and Marvin Harrison respectively wish to continue being known as Randy Moss, Terrell Owens and Marvin Harrison.

More great Beijing Olympics headlines that can never be written: "Chen-anigans."

It's great how the Olympics bring out the worst in Canadians. The men's 4 x 200 freestyle relay team had just finished a, wait for it, solid fifth. Brian Johns was telling CBC Sports over and over again how "we're showing that we belong on this stage." Some wag in the newsroom shot back at the TV, "Yeah, but you just don't belong in the pool."

The hell of our Olympic swimmers are faring decently. All the finals qualified for, Canadian records and personal bests, though, hit the public with all the impact of a new phonebook.

(Right as this being written, Arturo Miranda and Alex Despatie -- who to be fair, was coming back from a broken foot -- faded to fifth in their diving event. Cue the Ceeb's commentator: "They're usually much better in practice.")

Mats Sundin is thinking about going to Fake Prom, but he might not feel like it. It's also on Friday. He can't be expected to make a decision on such short notice.

(Digression: Fake Prom? What is this North American obsession with the secondary school experience? It's 4 years during the first quarter of your life, before you figured out what person you are. Robertson Davies had it right -- you should feel sorry for people who say their time in school was the best days of their life, because it makes you wonder what they've been doing since.)

Last but not least, from the department of Tell Us Something We Didn't Know, Larry Mavety has actually admitted publicly that he will be permanent interim coach of the Kingston Frontenacs. Darren Keily, who was in Peterborough the last couple seasons, will be the assistant coach. It can't work worse than what they had last year.

Update: Check out the first two comments that have been left on the Kingston Whig-Standard's article.

Mavety talked about the feeling he had on March 14 when the Frontenacs closed their home schedule with a 9-2 rout of the Sudbury Wolves" -- (Au. note -- the worst team in the league) -- "before a crowd of 4,705.

" 'I've been around the league for 30 years and I can't recall a crowd being as boisterous or as loud as it was that night,' Mavety said."

Ah, the bliss of having a short memory.

To sum up, everyone knew this was happening, but winning 23 of 56 games after a coaching change is not a basis for bringing a coach back -- it's just an admission you couldn't get anyone qualified to coach in the OHL in 2008.

New feature alert: Snark break

Getting the stupid and ugly out of one's system by lunch hour ...

Mats Sundin still hasn't decided. Prediction: He's going to drag this out past July 31, Chuck Swirsky's last day at the FAN 590.

The one Friday Night Lights spoiler you haven't heard about: The writers plan to introduce a character named "Brett." He graduated from Dillon High in 1987, but his friends keep dropping hints that he plans to get off his lawn tractor and show up for two-a-day practices in August, even though he wasn't invited.

The Winnipeg Blue Bombers have named Ryan Dinwiddie their starting quarterback. Unfortunately, they couldn't trade with Saskatchewan to get his favourite receiver, James Johnson. (Johnson plays defence for the 'Riders and Dinwiddie threw three INTs to him in the Grey Cup. To quote Rainier Wolfcastle, That's the joke.)

The Raptors lost Carlos Delfino to a deal in Russia, but when an American NBAer, Josh Childress, talks about getting a better deal in Greece than he can in the NBA, people start noticing.

Most of the Senators are participating in Jason Spezza's celebrity golf tournament. Brian McGrattan is a healthy scratch — they're making him watch from the clubhouse. 

How long before people can start making "what time can you be here?" jokes about calling the Ottawa Rapidz' office to ask when the game starts? Attendance was 1,106 last night. It's heartbreaking.

Speaking of the Buds ... the Leafs are playing at home on Thanksgiving Monday, October 13. It’s appropriate, since for 13 years, they surrounded Mats Sundin with a lot of turkeys.

Note to Chris Bosh: You're an early adopter. We get it.



Last but not least, please click through to see the "Brokeback Centre" logo SooToday.com has posted alongside an item announcing that the fine city of Sault Ste. Marie, will have a new corporate name on their hockey arena. Careful, SooToday.com -- you could get sued for that!

("Snark Break," which is literally the lazy man's alternative to those Body Break PSAs that a generation of Canadians know and love, will be a recurring feature at OOLF. Yes, yes, just like the "Zen Dayley," which has seldom been daily. It's one outlet for the glib, smartalecky comments that we like to think better of making.)

That's all for now. Send your thoughts to neatesager@yahoo.ca.

More on Sundin...

The New York Times hockey blog sort of speculated earlier today about Mats Sundin returning to the Leafs.

Remember, it's the New York Times. They don't make stuff up, except for that one time.

It's not completely bonkers for a team who's looking at Nik Antropov being its No. 1 centre to at least consider bringing back Mats.

But, did he see Mats Sundin in there?

A sports writer (it's two words over there) in England found that rumour mill that sports fans are always hearing about:

"It was a converted barn, far from the mill proper. Inside, suspended in a giant transparent pane -- very much like the imprisoned evil General Zod in Superman - was the huge, flattened face of want-away Aston Villa ace Gareth Barry.

" 'Our new service,' the director shrugged. "With Barry trapped here inside a purgatory of rumour and counter-rumour we can flood the market with Barry-talk, all of it authentically Barry-flavoured. Within weeks we can transform an entire career into a mind-numbingly repetitive transfer rumour. Did I tell you we had that Cristiano Ronaldo in? Very large neck muscles.'

"' This is unacceptably weird,' I cried, pounding my fist on the wall and feeling my eyes bulge like Edward Woodward in The Wicker Man. 'Gareth. I'm busting you out of here.' "

Don't feel remorse if some part of you would like to print out Barney Ronay's column and staple it to the forehead of the nearest media insider. Pick Bob McKenzie from TSN. He looks like he would be heavy sleeper.

Point being, keeping up with all the trade and free-agency scuttlebutt seems to be a quick ticket to your wit's end... Life is not one continuous news scroll across the bottom of a TV screen, so you have to laugh like hell, and feel a little empathy for the media professionals who are paid to be so super-serious about this, this minutaie. Hey, the Flames signed Todd Bertuzzi today? Whoop-de-freakin'-do, the rest of us are content to go on living our lives.

(Digression: Did Calgary Flames management figure that they better go get Bertuzzi since their team wasn't already plodding and penalty-prone enough last season? He's basically Eric Lindros during his half-season with the Leafs -- he might be listed at 240, but he plays like a buck-eighty.

Jarome Iginla is diminished in these eyes for apparently lobbying the Flames to bring in Bertuzzi. The Hockey Mafia just have to keep propping up Bertuzzi, which might keep him in the swanky hockey player lifestyle to which he and his spouse are accustomed, but probably isn't going to help him in the long run. Please go read Five Hole Fanatics' take.)

Anywho, in future columns, the intreprid Ronay will set out to locate the Missing Link, the lost city of Atlantis and Freddie Prinze Jr.'s career.

Related:
Is Barry stuck in the rumour mill? (Barney Ronay, The Guardian; via Jeff Blair)
Can't Buy Me Love (Andy Grabia, The Battle of Alberta)

Instead of Yoric's skull, he's got an iPhone

Google search of the day: "Mats Sundin Hamlet" turns up 4,290 matches.

Good gosh a'mighty -- only a bunch of journalists would think they're being clever or literary by referencing a play that everyone in the goddamm Western Hemisphere reads in high school.

It's far, far better to work something on the scale of a Jim Croce reference -- "You don't tug on Superman's cape, you don't spit into the wind, you don't pull the mask of the ol' Lone Ranger and you don't push Mats Sundin to make up his mind."

Seriously, though, hopefully someone with head for business (Krister?) can figure out if Sweden's tax rates have anything to do with Sundin's feet-dragging. What's his tax situation if he ends up signing with a U.S.-based team and thus establishes residency in two countries outside Sweden? Plus there's the whole issue of Quebec taxes.

(This is coming from someone who can barely figure out how to do his own income taxes in Canada.)

Getting ready for a resounding gong show; or, bollocks to wannabe Sam Pollocks

Re-reading Neal Pollack's essay The Cult of the General Manager is one way to feel fortified against the NHL's quote-unquote free agent frenzy.

"If you don't care about buying, selling, and trading, the sports world has much less to offer you these days.

"... My modest GM fantasies begin and end with baseball, where numbers rule and where such obsessions were born. Every other sport has to stay relatively pure in my mind; I've struggled for years to ignore the NBA's arcane salary cap rules, and I'm not about to change now ... I want to see the final product, not hear about how it was made in Santa's workshop.

"As deathly dull as a general manager's machinations may be, there's obviously an audience for it. I think that's warped ... Really, who would you rather be, Tom Brady or the guy who signed Tom Brady to a long-term deal? This may be the age of the general manager. But the quarterback still has more fun."

Who needs any of it? As far as this country boy's concerned, all the myriad hockey insiders in the newspapers, on the Canadian sports networks and among the blogeteriat combined who would have you believe it matters where Sean Avery signs combine to be a resounding gong or a clattering cymbal. (Not all of them, mind you; Mirtle should have outstanding coverage.) There's an element there of knowing everything about hockey except how to enjoy it.

They have not love. (It's in First Corinthians, people!)

(Devil's advocate: Who says hockey is meant to be enjoyed? After all, as any good hockey parent who just plunked down $425 to send little a week at Mike Fisher's hockey school knows, if you're not as serious as a heart attack about hockey from the time you're six years old, you'll have nothing but regret when you become one of the complete and utter failures otherwise known as the 99.5% of Canadian males who don't make the pros and have only themselves to blame.)

Hockey talk is most soothing during the time of year when the game is actually in season (which is a long enough timeframe already). It's OK to talk about the business dealings of certain NHL owners (cough) or possible rules changes during the off-season.

The only interest on this end is whether Mats Sundin will sign with a team that wears blue helmets, which won't be known for a while. Seeing him with a red or black bucket after all these years with the Nordiques, Leafs and Team Sweden would be too weird.

Seriously, though, anyone whose mind is on where Marian Hossa will sign should go a fly a kite on Canada Day. That's not just an expression.

Related:
The Cult of the General Manager; Can We Go Back To Worshipping Athletes Already (Neal Pollack, Slate, Aug. 29, 2005)

Drafty window on the NHL

Of the first round picks, here's what made the most sense, aside from the obvious Stamkos selection.

The Toronto Maple Leafs got a huge presence on the blue line with Luke Schenn. He was a dominating presence in the WHL last season, and can step up to play with the big club next year. If the Leafs are going to get younger, and they must if they are to put a stop to their laughing stock ways. This was a good start.

Another solid move wasn't a pick at all, and it centres around Calgary. It was obvious to anyone that Alex Tanguay was as good a fit in Calgary as a vegetarian Green Party activist at a Chevron barbecue. A move to Montreal made perfect sense for both sides. Bob Gainey didn't need a first round pick. He needed to get more scoring with wheels to keep up with the rest of his skaters. Tanguay fit that bill. Calgary got Mike Cammalleri, a player that should fit in more with Jerome Iginla and his merry men (provided Mike Keenan is in a good mood).


In a case of addition by subtraction, Ray Emery's departure in Ottawa gives everyone what they want. We all get to hear less about Ray Emery, the Senators can focus on practice and Emery can go idolize another suspect boxer on his own time. Everyone wins. I hear the L.A. Kings are looking for a goalie, but they would be wise to look elsewhere. The problem is, every now an then there's a shortage of quality players in a certain position. In the 1990s, there were tons of goalies out there. There aren't that many coming up the line who can play at the level the last generation could, which could help Emery land on a team desperate for help and willing to turn a blind eye to the sideshow he brings with him.

On the free agent side (never understood that phrase as agents are rarely without cost), it's hard for a Western Canadian to understand why Mats Sundin is the most hyped potential signing when Marian Hossa is available. Sundin is a scorer, and he's killed the Habs. But if the Habs need leadership, why pick up a guy that aside from the Swedish national team, hasn't accomplished much success? It's unfair to blame him completely for the Leafs' failures, but he's no Joe Sakic. I'd go as far as to say he's no Wendel Clark. He's not worth $8 million per season. I'd take a flyer if he wanted to take a couple of million, but there are other options.