Some Yuletide irony ...

No word of lie, TSN's Pierre McGuire says of broadcasting the world junior hockey championship, "The biggest thing is not to be a cheerleader." Of course, he's never heard himself broadcast:



Thankfully, most can withstand Miller and McGuire turning the sturm und drang up to 11 for the next week and a half. After all, we're Canadians, we're just better at some things.

CTV, not a sports writer, should bear the Brunt

Apologies for devoting a second post to this, but William Houston went off about Stephen Brunt, along other Globe & Mail reporters and two dozen-ish on-air people from the CTV/TSN corporate family, taking part in the Olympic torch relay (as noted previously).

Apparently Brunt's justification given on Prime Time Sports stuck in Houston's craw.

"But this is a commercial endeavor. The torch relay, God love it, which is going to make people tear up and is a lovely thing, and a way of including people in the Olympic process, is sponsored. And it is corporate and underwritten. And spots were sold as part of the sponsorship package. . . . This is all part of the machinery of the Olympic Games." (emphasis mine)

Far be it to question William Houston, he knows all this backwards and forwards, but the assertion the Vancouver Olympic Organizing Committee (VANOC) gave spots in the torch relay to sponsors seems like more of a story. It's in keeping with what a few people have been saying, that if you turn on a TV these days it's tough to tell who's putting on the 2010 Olympics, CTV or the nation of Canada.

Fair is fair, and it's ridiculous Brunt is getting tall-poppyed over someone else's decision. Like Dustin Parkes from Drunk Jays Fans actually seemed a lot more clear-eyed than Houston, commenting:

"Seriously? Because Brunt is going to run with the Olympic torch for a few hundred metres in Newfoundland, he is suddenly deemed biased toward the Vancouver Olympics? I’m all for critical thinking and cynicism, but it’s a joke to suggest that something this miniscule will affect anyone’s coverage, let alone Stephen Brunt’s."

Honestly, if one didn't know better you'd think this all stemmed from older journos' propriety over ethics. Veteran TV writer Bill Brioux had a post at TV Feeds My Family that touched on all this being "a bit queasy for some of us who are old enough to remember journalistic standards to witness colleagues acting as cheerleaders." (Emphasis mine.) Brioux had a point media coverage is less adversarial, although that isn't necessarily because of the people on the writing side. Brioux was a good sport when called on it, as Brunt would be if people questioned his objectivity. Based on 20 years of reading his columns, it can probably be filed under "not an issue." Someone should tell Houston.

Bleeding Tricolour: Rejoice, just once, the battle is still at hand

Please keep in mind every 24 hours, the world turns over on someone who was on top of it yesterday.

Nevertheless, apparently some Western Mustangs followers have added crow to their diets, instead of crowing about a victory, as TSN football analyst Duane Forde related:

"The Queen's Gaels' thrilling come-from-behind 27-26 victory over Western last Saturday ended any chance the Mustangs had of finishing first in the OUA standings this season but, for this analyst, the implications are much worse. Had UWO won the game, my CFL on TSN colleagues Chris Cuthbert and Jock Climie, a pair of Queen's grads, would've been forced to incorporate the Mustangs' traditional purple and silver into their wardrobes during this weekend's broadcasts. However, the Queen's victory means that I will be wearing the gold, blue, and red of the Gaels during Friday night's Toronto-Hamilton game. Misery apparently loves company, as I'm told that fellow Western alumni, Andy Fantuz of the Saskatchewan Roughriders and Tyler Scott of the Argonauts lost bets to their current CFL teammates and Queen's products, Rob Bagg (Riders) and Brad Smith (Argos)."

There's no word what the stakes were between Toronto Blue Jays interim CEO Paul "Western Will Definitely Win" Beeston owes Sun Media baseball writer Bob Elliott (Kingston native whose father and daughter graduated from Queen's).

Two seasons ago, when Laurier beat Queen's, Argos running back Bryan Crawford went on Mike Hogan's show on The FAN 590 and sing an ow-my-freakin'-ears rendition of Take Me Home, Country Roads.

It's all about who was the better man on that day; ain't no final victories.

(Cross-posted from cisblog.ca.)

DanyWatch Day 23: Heater left holding the bag, which might not contain $4 million

None of the principals in the Dany Heatley debacle had time to pick up face paint for Canada Day, but boy are their faces red.

This is not about trying to figure out how this ends. Maybe it gets worked out within a day, or maybe a team who strikes out in free agency will look at "Dany Nicks" as a nice silver medal.

This is more about about being a fan and feeling inadequate trying to figure out what's going on in a league where two front offices do not even seem to understand the rules. The Ottawa Senators and Edmonton Oilers, and possibly Heatley's agents, seemed to work on the assumption a trade had to be wrapped up by 12 a.m. July 1, since hey, that was what they'd heard on TSN and read in the newspaper like all us Al Capp schmos. There was that $4-million matzo ball, the bonus Heatley was due, hanging out there, as you know. It turns out, as mc79hockey explained, they had another 24 hours, possibly longer. Cue Tyler Dellow, who knows this stuff cold (he has a law degree, which makes him the Canadian version of Craig Calcaterra):

"The really interesting thing though is that I don’t think Ottawa necessarily has to pay Heatley the $4MM at some point (Wednesday). The CBA specifically deals with what happens when a team defaults on a contract.

"... There is, I think, some room here for the Senators to simply agree with Heatley that they will default on payment of his bonus and that he'll hold off on grieving that default. Then, once he’s traded, he can file his grievance and his new team can cure the default."

This is the pertinent section of the CBA Tyler dug out:

"11.15 Default. If a Club defaults in the payment of any compensation to the Player provided for in his SPC (standard player's contract — Ed.) or fails to perform any other obligation under his SPC, the Player may, by notice in writing to the Club and to the League and the NHLPA, specify the nature of any and all defaults and thereafter:

(a) If the Club fails to remedy the default within fourteen (14) days from receipt of such notice, except as hereinafter provided in subsections (b), (c) and (d) of this Section 11.15, the SPC shall be terminated, and, upon the date of such termination, all obligations of both parties shall cease, except the obligation of the Club to pay the Player’s compensation to that date."

Cripes, where was that piece of understanding three weeks ago? No doubt there are some CBA experts who were aware, but we are talking about the normals.

It sure looks like everyone believed they had a deadline. Hindsight is 20/15 when someone is standing to the side of it all. However, it stands to reason that if Heatley and his agents were aware of the rules, they could have said to the Senators, "Dany is going to sleep on it," before talking to the New York Rangers, who cleared cap space by trading Scott Gomez to the Montreal Canadiens in the afternoon. The Senators probably could have sat tight and remained in control of the situation. Instead, they were sitting there getting tense because of a deadline that was not only arbitrary, but apparently wrong. No wonder beat writers in other NHL cities are calling Eugene Melnyk's franchise "one of the most dysfunctional clubs in the NHL."

The point, hopefully, is how much one's eyes can get opened to the realities of the salary-capped NHL within a span of 24 hours. This stems from a comment one of this site's users, Alex, left Tuesday morning which turned to be prescient, at least for now-now:

"The reason Heatley is not going to be dealt (at least possibly until the trade deadline) is the lack of understanding of value in the cap environment by Ottawa fans. Every Ottawa fan seems to be expecting a huge return for him. But his value is not high. He is an excellent player and maybe he will get 50 goals again, but his contract is bad enough to cut his value way down. They would get spare parts and other people's salary problems in return. Near the trade deadline when contenders are looking to add salary is when his value will be at its peak, but still with the length of the contact it won't be what fans are expecting.

"Since Murray (who above all wants to avoid looking bad or disappointing fans) can't get what fans expect for him, he won't be dealt."

From the get-go, it seemed like a lot of the Heatley coverage in Ottawa has not reflected that the days are gone when one team could just pick up the phone and hammer out a blockbuster trade.

The other big ball-and-stick sports have gone through this evolution. In the NFL, you rarely see star players traded in their prime. (The deal the Chicago Bears made with the Denver Broncos for quarterback Jake Cutler does not count since Denver's coach is a wingnut and Cutler is not actually a star).

The informational revolution in baseball over the past 10 years has made it harder for teams to flip a veteran for a package of prospects at the trade deadline. Meantime, in pro basketball, only the truly deranged really understand the ins and outs and why it's good to add a player with an expiring contract, like the Raptors did last winter with veteran forward Shawn Marion.

Try telling that to anyone today. After all, the Hockey Reflex dictates that consumers should be led to believe something big is going to go down before the next commercial break. Of course, it does not always go that way, as TSN's insider, Darren Dreger, said on his Twitter after the first round of the NHL draft last Friday ...

"The perfect storm didn't materialize. Tons of talk, but the cap complications killed deals. Saturday should be fun."*

... but it will, probably in the next few minutes, honest.

Ultimately, it seems better to try to understand how this is possible. The endless flame-fanning and rip-jobs in the Ottawa media (and Edmonton too, shame on you, Terry Jones) got really old really fast. Heatley should not rate a single iota of sympathy. He asked for a trade, got one, and shot it down. The situation is akin to Trish Piedmont telling Andy Stitzer in The 40-Year-Old Virgin: "You asked for this, Andy. You asked for all of it." Puck Daddy's headline is "Oilers, Senators had deal in place; Heatley nixed it."

The media might point the cannon at Heatley (fist bump: John Fogerty), but the onus is misplaced. James Mirtle noted the CBA is a culprit:

• "There has to be some way to force players to either (a) honour their contractual commitment to a team or (b) not be able to veto deals when they're the ones requesting a trade. Heatley put the Sens in a terrible position by asking (publicly, no less) to be moved with his July 1 bonus date approaching, and if he now is going to turn down deals, it's going to become increasingly difficult for GM Bryan Murray to get anything resembling fair value for his top player.


• "How bad would it be if the Sens had to pay Heatley's $4-million bonus before making a trade? Well, his contract was heavily front-loaded, with Ottawa paying out $10-million in Year 1 of a six-year, $45-million extension he signed in 2007. If Murray pays the bonus, it'll mean Ottawa forked out $14-million — 31 per cent of the contract — for only one season under those terms, and the acquiring team will get Heatley for just $31-million over five years (about $6-million a season instead of $7.5-million)."

See how far you get with that down on Parliament Hill today, though. Heatley is the bad guy, but a NHL GM not knowing the rules might be worse.

Many metabeers should be consumed in Tyler Dellow's honour on this Canada Day. (That is a new word for beers you say you're going to drink in gratitude to someone, except you're now a semi-responsible adult and have to be sober enough to drive, or get on the right bus, subway and/or streetcar).

UPDATE: Alanah McGinley has all-things-considered take defence of Heatley posted at Kukla's Korner that reasonable-minded Senators fans ought to read.

"... most of the rhetoric floating around seems to go off the charts.

"And why? Well, the justification for this is clear, we're told. First, Heatley went public with his desire to leave Ottawa. Next, he turned down a possible escape trade to Edmonton, making the situation infinitely worse.

"However, being that I’m willing to give Heatley the benefit of the doubt, I’m also willing to believe in at least the possibility that there were other factors at play in the choices he’s made in the last few weeks. After all, it wasn’t so long ago that a goalie named Ray Emery was in the hot seat, getting blamed for all the destruction around him as his once-mighty Senators took an abrupt and unexplainable plummet into the crapper. And back then, everyone whispered all sorts of unsubstantiated and shocking gossip blaming Emery for the team’s fortunes.

"But then Emery left and seems to have done reasonably well since then. And yet Ottawa is still... Ottawa.

"So isn’t it remotely possible — just an tiny bit possible — that the problems in Ottawa might have more to do with the Senators organization itself than any one player? If so, then maybe Dany Heatley's comments to Darren Dreger last night, implying he felt he was getting deliberately screwed around by the team, are at least reasonable from his point of view. (Not that I have any reason to believe he was, simply that I'm no more likely to let the Senators off the hook than I am to let Heatley off for this mess.)

"On the other hand, Heatley is the one that made this public and that wanted out of a contract that HE willingly signed in the first place, so he has plenty of fault in this no matter what. And I’m not saying the Senators are the 'bad guys' in this drama, either. Only that we don’t necessarily know the whole story. And since Heatley strikes me as a reasonably smart guy able to anticipate he’d look pretty bad in all this, I can only assume he felt he had good reasons to take this path.

"Whatever the truth, it seems likely there's far more back-story to this than simply 'Dany Heatley is an evil psycho,' and everyone's sanctimonious moaning about how terribly Heatley has treated the 'poor Ottawa Senators' strikes me as an infantile over-reaction. At the end of the day, it's just business, and conflicts aren't unheard of in business, especially given the amounts of money at stake.

"... until some clever and gutsy Ottawa hockey journalist writes a tell-all book about Heatley and/or the Senators, I'm reserving judgment."

(*It wasn't.)

A little levity, a little Gary and little coming from MLSE

A little levity is always good with regard to the Phoenix Coyotes situation. Seeing Gary Bettman represented by Nathan Thurm, the chain-smoking lawyer character whom Martin Short played on the mid-'80s Saturday Night Live is almost as funny as the commish himselfclaiming the Coyotes "were never in jeopardy."



Meantime, and it's not as if people are unawares about this, but there is nothing-but-nothing coming out of MLSE about the possibilty of a team moving into Southern Ontario.

One would expect that to be the case, of course, and perhaps people who read the business section faithfully would have heard about the following. However, this section from a Phoenix Business Journal profile of Richard Rodier, Jim Balsillie's legal eagle, really shows how defensive MLSE is about the A-word, antitrust.

"At a 2008 sports business conference in Toronto run by then-Anaheim Ducks General Manager Brian Burke, several people in attendance recount a tense moment when Rodier posed an antitrust question to Maple Leaf Sports & Entertainment President Richard Peddie at the end of a panel session.

" 'Why, if I’m in the city of Toronto, can’t I watch the Ottawa Senators?' Rodier asked.

" 'I’m not going to debate antitrust law with you,' said Peddie, who did not return calls requesting comment for this story.

"Rodier defended the question last week, saying that it was legitimate. 'To ask a question that makes someone who may be operating outside the law uncomfortable is not in my view a bad thing,' he said."

That can be backed 100 per cent. No doubt a few people have wondered about an antitrust suit against the NHL at some point down the line. A court has found that Major League Baseball's infamous antitrust exemption does not apply to the sale of franchises, so speaking as a layperson, it could be a legal tempest.

Also on this topic, this site's own Andrew Bucholtz was on a conference call where former CFL commish Tom Wright talked about Balsillie's application. Here's Part 1 and Part 2.

That's about it from here. It would be remiss not to pass along something from the article on Rodier that seemed funny, since it furthered the stereotype that all Canadians know each other.

"(Rodier) then went on to the University of Toronto Law School, earning a law degree in 1984 and coming to the Canadian bar in 1986.

"Balsillie graduated from the University of Toronto in 1984 with an undergraduate degree, but Rodier said they didn’t know each other at the time."

The U of T only has 60,000 students. There's a good chance a law student and an undergrad would not be acquainted.

(Pretty please keep in mind a much lazier man was earlier to the game with the Bettman-as-Thurm comparison. Granted, this space has also likened Bettman to the Chip Diller character in National Lampoon's Animal House ("Remain calm! All is well!) and the NHL to Cameron Frye in Ferris Bueller's Day Off.)

Monday morning with Mr. Canoehead...

Let it bounce off you like raisins off an Oldsmobile ... check out Puck Daddy's post on the Memorial Cup, by the way ...

Mark Teixeira hitting a home run at Coors Field East the new Yankee Stadium on a pitch where he broke his bat. There would be calls for a Congressional inquiry if someone built a park in Denver or Houston where it was that easy to hit a home run.

Broadcasters who don't realize you "can't succeed by forcing zany or funny or irreverence," as Phil Mushnick put it. That would include TSN's Darren Dutchyshen joking about Pittsburgh Penguins star Evgeni Malkin's parents "having sexy time" while recapping a playoff game last week. It's not insensitive, it's just witless. Borat references were old three days after the movie came out, let alone almost three years later.

The same goes for Rogers Sportsnet baseball commentator Darrin Fletcher eating on-air during a recent Jays game. They're just having fun, damn it, so what if it's bad broadcasting?

Knowing that if the NHL moves the start of the Stanley Cup final ahead to this weekend, it will only be because of a bout of temporary sanity. It means cheering for Detroit to oust Chicago on Tuesday, which is a small price to pay.

An altogether stinky sports Sunday: Blue Jays lose sixth in a row, the Memorial Cup finally was basically over halfway through the first period, the NBA playoff game was a hackfest (61 fouls called in Orlando's win) and having to fake an interest in the Indianapolis 500. There's a lot to be said for being aloof and acting above it all.

Mornings with Mr. Canoehead...

Like raisins off an Oldsmobile, people ...

Alex Rodriguez dating actress Kate Hudson. The Almost Famous actress is just like the Yankees: She hasn't been part of a winner since 2000.

TSN being small-town cheap by hyping TSN2's coverage of the Blue Jays-Red Sox series, and then turning on the TV at 7 p.m. to find out it was the NESN broadcast, the same as a Rogers Cable customer gets when you have to watch a game on the Extra Innings feed.

Quoth The Tao of Stieb: "All of this scrapping over carriage on the Rogers cable system, and the CTVgm folks can't even see to it that a Canadian crew is employed to broadcast the game? How was this different than Rogers just giving the free MLB Extra Innings Preview? (Our guess is that TSN2 didn't have an HD production truck at its disposal, given TSN's hockey duties, so they decided to take the easier simulcasting route.)

"... We were actually happy to watch the NESN broadcast, which probably has the best production quality of any local MLB broadcast. However, spending close to three hours listening to Dennis Eckersley's ridiculous meanderings just about drove us batty. Really, can we have another five minute discussion of 'sneaky cheese?' " Not to make a mountain out of a molehill, but what really pointed out how shortsighted the decision was that the Red Sox had two Canadians (Jason Bay in left field and George Kottaras, who is Tim Wakefield's personal catcher). People might have appreciated that being pointed out, but it didn't matter to American announcers.

Trying to figure out the whereabouts of Brian Campbell on the Detroit Red Wings' overtime goal in the Stanley Cup playoffs last night. It's all part of the great plan, the Red Wings making good on any number of gutless "Detroit in six" form picks.

Alex Rios getting thrown out stealing last night with a knuckleball pitcher on the mound.

NBC's announced fall lineup not including Friday Night Lights, which won't air on the network until summer 2010. Summer is not for football, unless it's three downs.

Jays-Sox: They keep underestimatin' ya

Getting a game-face on for a cataclysmic Blue Jays-Red Sox series means amplifying slights real or imagined.

Well, then: It did not escape notice that the Boston Globe's 5 Things To Know About The Blue Jays, a column and a video discussion all neglected to mention Mar-co Scu-ta-ro. Scutaro is only leading the majors in runs scored and bases on balls, has reached base at a .415 clip from the leadoff spot and is keeping everything neat and tidy over at shortstop, where he has started all 41 games.

Scutaro has been a revelation. The Baseball Prospectus 2009 called him a "splendid fielder," adding, "The Jays could do worse" for an everyday shortstop (and have they ever since Tony Fernandez left for the second time after the 1993 World Series). He has been their most valuable fielding out of the "back seven" by FanGraphs' reckoning. How do you ignore that?



(OK, so, the Orioles' Adam Jones has scored one less run than Scutaro while playing in nine fewer games. Runs scored are a partially a function of what the other hitters, like Aaron Hill and Adam Lind, are doing. Fielding-wise, Jays shortstops are helped a little by always getting a true hope from Rogers Centre's turf, but that's neither here nor there).

One reason to be optimistic about the Jays being able to keep this up, albeit with some tapering-off since they're not going to go 107-55, is their fielding. This is just a layperson's understanding, it probably needs to be rigorously tested, but out of hitting, pitching and fielding, the latter probably varies the least according to the strength of the opponent. The Jays have made only 14 errors in 41 games, the fewest in the American League. There is bound to be some evenout, but that should help keep them somewhat afloat. Of course, fielding only buttresses pitching so far.

Anyway, as for the Showdown in Beantown, so-called, it's best to play it light and breezy. It's only May 19 and neither team is throwing its Nos. 1 and 2 starters. The bad man with the knuckleball, Tim Wakefield, who's always tough to predict. Their starters for Wednesday and Thursday, Brad Penny and left-hander Jon Lester, both have ERAs north of 6.50, which should not continue much longer. A result similar to the Yankees series last week is probably to be expected.

The arrival of interleague play, to be honest, might be as much of a concern, since the Jays are only 62-64 in those contests dating back to 2002, when J.P. Ricciardi became GM.

(For anyone wondering, the deepest the Jays have ever gone into a season with only 14 losses was 1984, when they started 31-14.)

Bleeding Tricolour: Gaels' Sterling first OUA player taken

He has the name, and although it took people a while to clue in, he's got the game: Queen's defensive lineman Dee Sterling was selected 12th overall by the Edmonton Eskimos in today's Canadian college draft, the first player from an Ontario school selected.*

Linemate Osie Ukwuoma, an end, was taken by the Grey Cup champion Calgary Stampeders in the fifth round (40th overall). Linebacker Thaine Carter went in the sixth round (45th overall) to Winnipeg. Ottawa Gee-Gees linebacker Mike Cornell, went undrafted and so did another OUA defensive player on the CFL scouting bureau's list, Toronto's Matt Morris (A look at how the scouting bureau's list jibed with the selections is up at cisblog.ca.).

Gee-Gees lineman Ryan Mousseau went to Montreal with the penultimate pick, 47th overall.

McMaster coach Stefan Ptaszek, who was on TSN's panel, noted, as others have, that Sterling really improved in CFL teams' eyes at the league's evaluation camp. Up until then, it was assumed his linemate, end Osie Ukwuoma, would be the first Golden Gael taken.

Reaction to the three Gaels being drafted (Guelph defensive back Brad Crawford, brother of former Queen's star Bryan Crawford, was drafted by the Toronto Argonauts):

• Sterling: TSN analyst Duane Forde noted that Sterling still has some filling out to do and when that happens, he should be able to play at the inside tackle spot in the CFL.
  
  (Seriously, how about Forde as the GM of the reconstituted Rough Riders? Let's start beating that drum.)
  
  Bruce Black, who coached and and taught for many years at Sterling's high school, Frontenac Secondary, should get credit for being way ahead of the game with Dee Sterling. During the CIS Final 8 men's basketball championship last season, Black was at Scotiabank Place very early on the Friday morning to watch two other one-time Frontenac Falcons, Stu Turnbull and Rob Saunders, during the Carleton Ravens' morning shootaround. He was talking up Sterling, telling a fellow Kingston type that some CFL team was likely to take him pretty high in the draft.
  
  Anyway, please keep in mind who said the Eskimos were pretty high on Sterling, although it is ultimately Whig-Standard's their story to tell.


• Ukwuoma and Carter: Chalk it up as a bit of a win-win. Each has eligibility remaining with the Gaels, which raises the possibility of both returning for next season, along with defensive back/kick returner Jimmy Allin.
  
  They might face a scenario particular to players taken late in the draft, opting to return to school and get playing time rather than bide their time on a CFL practice roster. That move worked out for former Queen's receiver Rob Bagg. Windsor's Hec Crighton Trophy-winning running back, Daryl Stephenson, did the same (and ended up finishing the CFL season with the Winnipeg Blue Bombers).
  
  The Stampeders typically do well by Canadian players, so that would seems to be a plus for Ukwuoma. However, their non-imports include four defensive ends, Mike Labinjo, Alain Kashama, Fernand Kashama and Justin Phillips, so a rookie is going to be in tough.
  
  For Carter, Forde's pre-draft look at the Blue Bombers noted "there are doubts as to how many of Winnipeg's depth players actually have the potential to step into the starting lineup." That might not specifically refer to its corp of Canadian linebackers, but with a new coach coming in, a sixth-round pick might have more of a chance to impress a new regime.

Incidentally, Forde, the former Western star, referred to Sterling as a "Golden Gael," which is sure to please his TSN colleague, Jock Climie. That was semi-amusing since it called to mind the post-game interview last fall when Sterling corrected The Score's D.J. Bennett for calling the team the "Queen's Gaels" during a post-game interview.

Anything else noteworthy about the draft will be at cisblog.ca.

(* But which team went to the Vanier Cup? Respect must be paid.)

TSN pulls power play with Rogers Jays?

This has a holy flurking schnit quality about it: Rogers customers won't able to watch the Rogers-owned baseball team play in the Rogers-owned ballpark against an archrival:

"Blue Jays coverage on TSN2 gets underway on Tuesday, May 19 with the Jays
taking on the Boston Red Sox in a key three-game series. TSN2 is readily available in the GTA in both Standard Definition and High Definition on Bell TV (Channel 401, 851 HD), Shaw Direct (Channel 401, 269 HD), and Cogeco Cable (Channel 156, 729 HD)."

None of you need any reminder what cable provider is still not carrying TSN2, especially if you're also a Raptors fan, or that Red Sox-Jays games tend to attract the highest ratings. This is bad news to go along with the injuries to pitchers Ricky Romero and B.J. Ryan.

The FAN 590's Bob McCown, at this very moment, is going high dudgeon about "what maroon brokered this deal?" It is possible this forces Rogers to come to terms about carrying the spin-off network, which launched in August. Or they could go el cheapo. Someone who knows can field this one: Would Rogers be able to air the visiting team's broadcast, particularly NESN in the case of that April 19-21 series vs. the Red Sox, on its four regional channels? It would be an easy way out, but given that they often stick the other team's broadcast of games which aren't being carried by Sportsnet or TSN on that Channel 399, don't put it past them.

The point is it is a blatantly anti-fan decision to stick games on a digital channel which is still unavailable to a wide swath of consumers, if it comes to that point. (Chris Zelkovich at the Toronto Star is saying it will get resolved, finally). However, let's stay on the up-and-up and presume the principals here must know this. Let's believe, in the heart of hearts, that reasonable people can always come to a reasonable solution. Times are tight in the Canadian broadcast industry, so you're going to see this pitched battles for customers, but this is going too far. It lasted through the entire Raptors season, but it might be different with the Jays, whose following is more national, more Boomer.

Really, only in Canada could you see this happen, Rogers owning the team and the ballpark, but being party to its fans not being able to watch. It is awfully curious that a Red Sox series was earmarked for TSN2 (TSN would still have hockey commitments in mid-May). TSN does not mess around and as Ottawa Senators fans can relate, the games won't be on the MLB Extra Innings package (just as local broadcasts aren't put on NHL Centre Ice).

The only other games scheduled for that channel are two Sunday afternoon games in September, presumably when there is an a priori commitment to the CFL. It should be pointed out Edmonton Eskimos fans raised a stink over this last fall and got a game aired when it wasn't going to available in Edmonton. Hopefully Jays fans can mobilize over at The Tao of Stieb and Drunk Jays Fans and elsewhere and do the same.

Hoserdome 2009: Playoffs, night 1

From The Rink or Puck Daddy this ain't, but it's the playoffs and absolutely nothing else of significance is going on in Canada. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em, so bring on the nightly recap:

Canucks 2 Blues 1 (Vancouver leads 1-0) — Both Van goals came through the Sedin twins' line, which should be a talker for the off-day since Daniel and Henrik typically pull an el foldo in April. Truth be known, this was a bit of a bore for everyone except Canucks fans, several of whom were disguised as empty seats, although that might have had to due with a traffic snarl.

And yes, that was 13-year veteran d-man Jay McKee, of Kingston, taking consecutive penalties for the Blues. D'oh!

Rangers 4 Capitals 3 (New York leads 1-0) — Please keep an eye on the TV ratings, since for one night at least, TSN got the better series, in terms of entertainment value, in the 7 p.m. Eastern time slot.

José Théodore's bed-soiling (four goals on 20 shots) was the main post-game story on the Capitals' side. The Verizon Center ice is probably a good subplot, since pucks were bouncing everywhere and Washington's Jeff Schultz fell down to give Brandon Dubinsky the opening to score the game-winner.

Meantime, Théodore, is that one of those situations where if you stick him on the bench in Game 2, you lose him for the rest of the playoffs?



Penguins 4 Flyers 1 (Pittsburgh leads 1-0) — Please be kind and give it another game before sending the conficker virus to puck pundits who said this was the best series of the first round. These teams have a deep-seeded feud that rivals anything that exists between Jay Leno and David Letterman, but there wasn't a whole lot to see, save for a sick Sidney Crosby goal.

Cash-strapped CBC seems to be treating a marquee matchup like a regional Senators telecast, which is understandable since as it is understandably focused on the Vancouver and Montreal series. They didn't do the game in HD and didn't have the crowd miked very well (TSN's microphones picked up a lot more sights and sounds, which adds a lot if you're watching at home). There's some blood in the water in the shark tank that is the TV ratings game, since the CTV family already buried everyone with 3.1 million viewers for the send-off of Corner Gas.

Devils 4 'Canes 1 (New Jersey leads 1-0) — One reason for not un-mothballing the Hoser's Guide to Hockey Hatred was not knowing how to slot the Devils.

Having Kevin Smith, the schlubby sensitive English major's pride and joy, as their celebrity fan gives them a lifetime out from the fact they damn near wrecked the sport in the early 2000s. It's all water under the bridge when Smith, billed as "director, Zach and Miri" (clipping the title is understandable, so far be it to point out it was Z-a-c-k and Miri Make A Porno) coins a way to take The Great One's name in vain:

"I present you with our compromise: anytime I work myself up into a lather about the Devs, so much so that I lose my head and include potentially offensive terminology? I will then swap said terminology for the kindler, gentler, more family-friendly and NHL-approved term 'Gretzky' (or a derivative/conjugation of Mr. Gretzky’s names) instead

"... I know what you’re thinking: 'Listen to this fat [Gretzky] braggin’ about all the money he’s got! Big man, with the pregnant-lady gut and the [Gretzin'] arm flab! Hey, Fatty – you’re gonna die alone, you morbidly obese [Great One]!"

The game was on TSN2 in Canada, so a Rogers cable subscriber of three years' standing can only imagined what happened. Apparently Zach Parise, aptly enough, scored a sweet goal.

There is probably a better time and place to go into this (like a psychiatrist's office), but back in 1995 or '96, Kevin Smith's movies spawned a personal reason to not use "swears" on the printed page if it could be avoided. Talk about a lack of flurking foresight.

Last but not least, the one-and-only Jonah Keri went in a playoff pool, so he's rediscovering his hoser roots.

Snark break...

Milk before the cereal? You wild man, you... how was your Have-Not Province Party?

The Creighton University baseball team, which is also the Blue Jays, lost in extra innings on Tuesday, just like their American League namesake. In case you're wondering, they also didn't use Travis Snider in the final three innings. (Seriously, Cito Gaston, you don't manage to protect the egos of marginal talent.)

The Buffalo Bills' Toronto game is on a Thursday, meaning it will be on the NFL Network. Someone please ask Rogers chairman Phil Lind how having the game on a network no one in the U.S. gets will, in his words, "re-introduce Toronto to American viewers as a tourist haven." As a double whammy, Rogers is spending all this money to promote a game that will air in Canada on rival TSN.

The New York Jets are also skedded for home games during Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. Smooth move, NFL.

Hockey Night in Canada's playoff preview, as you know, included the perspicacious puck pundits from Canucks Corner, Kuklas Korner and Puck Daddy, which was essential. It was a bit heart-sinking that good airtime was wasted on the tapped-out blogs vs. mainstream media debate, which is a major eye-glazer compared to talking about who's going to advance in the playoffs.



That whole debate is about as fresh as a Leafs joke. Anyway, that's just a small quibble from a small person. Greg Wyshynski is taking the St. Louis Blues to beat the Vancouver Canucks, by the way.

Free-agent NHLer Mike Comrie's dad founded the Canadian furniture chain, The Brick. After the season Comrie had, some team should be able to sign him for no money down.

No one remembers if David Beckham took any reds when he played for the L.A. Galaxy, but he got carded while trying to buy a glass of red wine once.

It's hard to figure out who to root for in a lawsuit between Woody Allen and American Apparel. One is really creepy, disgusting and sleazy. The other makes movies.

This post is worth nothing, but this is worth noting:

• Garry Nunn scored the series-winning goal for the Vancouver Giants in the second round of the WHL playoffs last night. Hosing him out of a college education really paid off.
• For anyone wondering, the only reason to pay attention to the NFL draft is to see if a team will give Pat White a shot at playing quarterback. A six-foot-nothin' left-handed scrambler who played for a spread option team at West Virginia? Do it.
• A belated congrats to a friend and fellow 2002 University of King's College grad, Renée Mercuri, and her spouse, Joshua Tusin. They welcomed their first child, Maxence "Max" Tao Mercuri Tusin, into the world on April 6.

Eight is enough for women's hockey

The kooky nine-team format at the IIHF women's world hockey championship will not return for the 2011 championship, TSN noted during the Canada-U.S. broadcast today.

Dropping down to eight means you won't see Canada playing the U.S. with nothing at stake like they are today. In '11, with just two pools, the winners get a bye into the semi-finals, with the second- and third-place teams crossing over for the quarters. The "three pools of three" format has created confusion.

However, it might be a little shortsighted since it means one country's program will probably lose its national funding, including China (population of 1.3 billion), Russia (300 million) and Japan (130 million). On the plus side, hey, the format is easier to follow.

Incidentally, Canada and the U.S.'s pre-Olympic series next fall will include a game in Ottawa. The smart money is on some middle-aged sports reporter complaining about having to cover women's hockey.

(Canada won, 2-1, surviving a late American rally. Charline Labonté was excellent in the third period, so perhaps they come back with her for the final on Sunday.

Holly Horton put TSN's Dave Randorf and Cassie Campbell on the spot to come up with a nickname for Kingston native Jayna Hefford's line with Jennifer Botterill and Caroline Ouellette, which scored both goals. They said, "Bo line" (as in BOH) and "Hob line," but the obvious "HBO line" didn't come to them. As in, "It's not a forward line, it's HBO.")

Last thing he'll wanna do is hang around there

Mike Danton is apparently back in Canada and in a jail that is not so far from his tormentor, Dave Frost:

"After petitioning to be moved to a Canadian prison since 2005, Danton finally got his wish on March 19th as he was transferred to Kingston Penitentiary.

"Under Canadian law, Danton is now eligible for full parole."

Anyway, the Hockey God should have plenty to say.

(Update: Kingston reporter Rob Tripp, who's a digger if ever there was one, says Danton's likely at Millhaven Pen. But was it Millhaven Maximum Security?)

Related:
Danton transferred to Canada, now eligible for parole (TSN.ca)

Sean Avery once again saves a slow hockey news day...

Sean Avery's brilliance is beyond question. Through the use of non-violent resistance, he managed to ...

• Give New York Rangers coach John Tortorella a rhetorical wedge; you can hear the, "Avery can't do anything because he's a marked man in this league," already;
  
• Give the sports broadcasting industry that has, thank you Kelly McParland, "committ(ed) itself to hours of airtime every day, whether or not it has anything of interest to report," something to talk about for the next news cycle; good on him for doing it on a night when there were only three games on the NHL docket, then;
  
• Keep his teammates from having to address serious questions about how they can manage to get into a higher playoff seed with a remaining schedule that consists of Carolina, Boston, Montreal and Philadelphia, twice;
• Took hockey hammerheads' minds off the Sunday Times feature which called him a "fashion-fascinated dandy";
  
• Cheesed off the New Jersey Devils.

Avery is far from the only reason to pay attention to the NHL, but he sure can liven up an otherwise dull night where there were only two other games on the schedule. Greater minds have said this already, but be glad there is a hockey player who will, when speaking for the record, refer to a recent tussle with Cal Clutterbuck of the Minnesota Wild as, "... the most honest moment of clarity I have on any level of life, as funny as that sounds. Before I went away and after I went away, it's still the quietest time I ever have in my head — when I’m about to engage someone in that manner."

That beats the hell out of hearing, "It's part of the game," every day of the week. It shows there is one guy out there trying to be somewhat original in a sport, which in Canada at least, is strangling the life out of itself. That McParland editorial in the National Post was just a wee bit withering, but it got at how the way saturation coverage of the NHL is killing the golden goose, for a lot of people who like a varied sports diet:

"in the age of 24/7 sports coverage, intelligence is way down the priority list.

Cable is a great invention, but it's ruined hockey. Maybe all sports for all I know, but hockey in particular. Televised hockey coverage consists of inane softball questions, rehearsed responses and panels of nattering heads.

" ... The players have been conditioned to expect such pap, and trained to respond in kind. Any young prospect with promise undergoes media conditioning in which they're coached on a handful of key methods for filling 20 seconds while saying nothing. Most barely make eye contact; few bother to break out of a monotone. It's excruciatingly dull, but you can't blame the players. The industry has brought this on itself by committing itself to hours of airtime every day, whether or not it has anything of interest to report. The time has to be filled, so pointless interviews, repetitious replays and mindless banter become crucial to filling gaps between the commercials.

The players have been conditioned to expect such pap, and trained to respond in kind. Any young prospect with promise undergoes media conditioning in which they're coached on a handful of key methods for filling 20 seconds while saying nothing. Most barely make eye contact; few bother to break out of a monotone. It's excruciatingly dull, but you can't blame the players. The industry has brought this on itself by committing itself to hours of airtime every day, whether or not it has anything of interest to report. The time has to be filled, so pointless interviews, repetitious replays and mindless banter become crucial to filling gaps between the commercials."

It's a reminder why the best time to be a hockey fan is during the Stanley Cup playoffs, which are not so far away. The game speaks for itself. Turn the TV on in time for the opening faceoff, shut it off when the game ends, go on living your life. Bliss.

Related:
Will someone please save hockey from cable TV? (Kelly McParland, National Post)
The Demon on his shoulder (Allen Salkin, The New York Times)

Snark break...

Corey Koskie possibly making a comeback in the World Baseball Classic, what do you think about that? OK, the Crosby-Ovechkin stuff...



Ron MacLean straining for a pun ("It was one thing for Henry David Thoreau to simply on Walden Pond, but it's another thing to simply on Bell Centre pond and Don Cherry's "bitch" comments were the huh? moments of Hockey Day in Canada, but it works.

It's a small quibble, but does anyone else wonder if MacLean, who was broadcasting in New Brunswick, could have mentioned the Bathurst basketball team? It was true to the spirit of the day. Prime Minister Stephen Harper, a hockey guy through and through, saluted the Phantoms.

Incidentally, a major eye-roll is due to Carleton University for inviting President Barack Obama to hoop it up with the No. 1-ranked Ravens on his state pop-in. Carleton should focus on getting the PM out to a game, especially if his alma mater, Calgary, is playing in the CIS Final 8 next month at Scotiabank Place. Granted, if he did, when would he have time to finish that book about hockey he "still claims to be working on?" (Dave Feschuk, Toronto Star)

The Dallas Cowboys absolutely must acquired Ray Lewis. Signing a guy who once faced a murder rap (plea-bargained) would improve the Cowboys' image.

This is nothing to joke about it, but dozens of people became sick recently due to air poisoning caused by a faulty ice-making machine at a rink in Quebec. Perish the thought that getting sick from what you were exposed to at the rink could be dubbed Spezzaitis.

That's playing hardball: The Hall of Fame pitcher Jim Bunning, now a U.S. senator, sees great opportunity rising out of a Supreme Court justice having cancer:

" 'Bad cancer. The kind you don’t get better from,' Bunning went on. 'Even though she was operated on, usually nine months is the longest that anybody would live after being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.' "

There are some things you just don't say, man.

This post is worth nothing, but this is worth noting:

• It is only three weeks to March Madness, so start reading up on bracket-busters such as Utah State, even though it lost on Saturday.
• TSN.ca has a list of all Canadians playing NCAA Division 1 basketball. The next step: List female players, such as Ottawa's Steph MacDonald (Canisius), Jenna Gilbert (La Salle) and Courtnay Pilypaitis (Vermont), among others.
  
• Last, but not least, birthday wishes to my mother and brother-in-law, Kathie Sager and Amer Murad, who each had theirs yesterday, thus making it even more unforgivable that I forgot.

Blog blast past: The coming Crosby backlash is nothing personal

In the wake of his little set-to with Alexander Ovechkin on Sunday, it seems germane to blow the dust off this post about the lack of love for Sidney Crosby, originally published Dec. 14, 2006, after he had a six-point night vs. the Flyers and Pierre McGuire exclaimed that TSN was "The Sidney Network."

Sometime between the hours of, oh, 8 a.m. and 4 p.m. tomorrow, the Sick of Sidney Crosby Society's power will reach critical mass. May God have mercy on us all.

The backlash against the Cole Harbour Comet (as he would have been known in the days before bestowing nicknames became the droit du TV pinheads) has been there for a while, dating back to long before Crosby joined Pittsburgh Penguins in 2005. It goes back to long before juniors in Rimouski, probably even long before Shattuck-St. Mary's and AAA midget in Nova Scotia. For Crosby, it comes with the ever expanding territory.

It's bound to come to a head soon after last night's made-for-YouTube performance when Crosby had a career-high six points in an 8-4 drubbing of the Philadelphia Flyers and took over the NHL scoring lead, barely four months after his 19th birthday. As noted, there have long been rumblings. Some old fart hockey types (including a few who are still fairly young in years, if not outlook) bristled last year when the Penguins made him the youngest alternate captain in NHL history. Other people called him out for diving. Now the backlash is likely bound to start brewing in earnest.

Very little of that is Crosby's doing. Canadians went through this with Wayne Gretzky too back in the '80s. Gord Miller and Pierre McGuire's Sturm und Drang treatment of Crosby's big night on TSN last night certainly added fuel to the fire. They were just trying to hype a meaningless midweek game, fair enough. However, even by the standards of McGuire, who tends to describe every pitched battle for the puck between third-line wingers like it was the whole of the Peloponnesian War, it was almost an entire other level of dementia.

It was so off-putting that, watching from work, I found myself saying out loud, "What's wrong with Crosby? He hasn't had a point in almost eight minutes. What a suck." And I've cheered for Crosby, been following him since his days with the Dartmouth Subways.

The double whammy is that Alex Ovechkin, a year older, is coming to his own and he and Crosby represent the way the hockey nation stereotypes have been inverted. This is a gross generalization, but so be it: Canadians have come to embody the old Cold War stereotype of the robotic Soviet players. The Russians are the devil-may-care, impish sorts with the wink and the smile with a tooth missing, seriously talented without taking themselves too seriously. If the '72 Summit Series was being re-enacted today, it's a lot easier Ovechin hamming it up for the crowd like Phil Esposito famously did than it would with the serious-as-a-heart-attack Crosby.

Crosby is of the Alex Rodriguez-Tiger Woods-Peyton Manning-Kobe Bryant milieu. The great player who is liked, but not well-liked. He's fast becoming one of those superstars whom almost no one except the worst front-running fair-weather types cheer for. Their feats always seem to have this hollow quality. Tiger wins a major? All he's ever done is play golf. Kobe scores 81 points in a game? What's he ever done but play basketball?

Sidney Crosby winning the NHL scoring title at age 19? That's what he was built up to do. Paraphrasing Lester Bangs, part of admiring him is resenting him for failing to live up to your expectations.

Just for good measure, throw in that Crosby seems to have come to the pros fully formed, lacking any endearing human frailties. Would it kill him to have a zit? There's no backstory -- at least with Wayne Gretzky, you knew that his dad was a telephone repairman -- or even an indication that he's even had a part-time job after school or during the summer, or something of that nature.

It's nothing personal. That's the problem -- for us, not him.

Between the sacrifices the Kid has made to get where he is, plus the pressures and expectations he faces daily (especially from various commercial sponsors), he's not free to act like a typical 19-year-old -- which he isn't, of course. Where is there any indication that he does any of the usual 19-year-old things, or is full of any of the usual 19-year-old's uncertainties and fears?

Surely he most go through some of all that. You'll just never know about it, unless he's got a book to sell or goes on some Oprah-genre program to highlight his softer side. Talk about a turnoff.

Snark break ... drop the hockey shtick and walk away, Renée

The Florida Panthers are rolling with Pete DeBoer and Jim Hulton behind the bench. Meantime, in the 613, the teams which respectively could be employing them, the Ottawa Senators and Kingston Frontenacs, are third-last and dead last in the NHL and OHL, respectively. (It's like their owners, Eugene Melnyk and the Fronts' Doug Springer, are on the same Ork cloud.)

One suggested nickname for the Senators' owner: The Eunibomber.

One sportswriting trope which must be allowed to die is segueing into a feature on a Canadian athlete by referencing his hockey experience. It was cute once and now it's just tired, like Renée Zellweger's acting shtick.

Not to nitpick, but the "grand total of the Canadian content in Super Bowl XLIII is wrapped up in the well-travelled right leg of Pittsburgh punter Mitch Berger?" The Cardinals' Sean Morey makes his off-season home in Toronto with his spouse, who played hockey for the Brampton Thunder (she was known as Cara Gardner) before "she broke her femur in a snowmobile accident and decided to have a family." (New York Times.) It doesn't get any more Canadian.

If MMA training can help the Minnesota Vikings' Tarvaris Jackson improve as a quarterback, then it should be legalized in Ontario.

Two words which can never again appear together in print: "Star punter."

A Yale student was taken aback that author Buzz Bissinger "swore often" during a talk he gave there recently. It pisses the shit out of me to know some people are so well-adjusted that they don't follow sports obsessively, thus missing out on Bissinger-Leitch.

TSN's Gord Miller and Pierre McGuire are great on most nights and McGuire's anti-fighting stance is admirable, but then there's the times when, no doubt by some producer's edict, they have to jazz up a mid-season game, like the Panthers' pounding of the Habs.

The low boiling point was reached somewhere between McGuire describing a play as "fantastically good" (forgetting Rick Reilly's ASS rule, Adjectives Sorta Suck), praising a referee for having the "courage" to award penalty shot after a (uh, he made the correct call, and it favoured the home team) and Miller saying, "These are not your father's Florida Panthers," and repeating it during the next intermission.

Of course they aren't your father's Florida Panthers. When my pops was the age I am today, it was 1984. The Panthers did not exist.

This post is worth nothing, but this is worth noting

• An online sportsbook had to close betting on Bruce Springsteen's setlist for the Super Bowl halftime show.
  
• Argos coach Bart Andrus' son, Travis Andrus, has committed to play wide receiver for the Montana Grizzlies, who are coincidentally Kinger's favourite Football Championship Subdivision team as of this morning.
• The XMp3 radio got another solid review, this one from Sun Media. Incidentally, XM channel 27 (The Bridge) is pretty sweet.
• Charlie Murphy (the funnier Murphy brother) is going to publish an autobiography later this year.
  

Please tune in to hear Kinger's sports show, Offsides, today at 4 p.m. on CFRC 101.9 FM and cfrc.ca elsewhere. The campus radio station is in the middle of a funding drive. Don't make them have to send in the muscle. Kinger hates it when he gets his knuckles all lined up for nothing.

Failing hands: The worst Habs since 1979

The form calls to be classy and reverential on the occasion of the Montreal Canadiens centennial, of course.

However, bigger and brighter minds have it covered off so well. CBC is airing a special creatively titled 100 Years, 100 Stars this evening. TSN.ca, playing provacateur to the hilt, has unveiled an Ultimate Canadiens lineup which does not include anyone named Cournoyer, Lafleur or Roy. Venerable Montreal Gazoo scribe Red Fisher has a million stories to tell.

There is not much to add. Others can talk about Big Jean Béliveau, the Chicoutimi Cucumber, the Rocket, the Flower, Big Bird and Newsy Lalonde until they're bleu in the face. Someone needs to take up the cause of the justly neglected Canadiens, the most abject sextet of shinny stumblebums to have (dis)graced the sacred flannel. They won't get a parade, just this post.

LEFT WING: DANIEL GEOFFRION (1979-80, 32GP-0G-6A-6PT-12PIM)

The nicest thing that can be said about Geoffrion's brief NHL career is just by being there, he did his part to create a four-generation hockey family. He came after his Hall of Fame father (Bernie "Boom Boom" Geoffrion) and grandfather (Howie Morenz) are each in the Hall of Fame. His puck-chasing progeny, Blake Geoffrion, is a hotshot Nashville Predators prospect.

It probably wasn't for lack of trying, but Dan Geoffrion went goalless in 32 games in '79-80, which is dismal for a forward on a team which led the NHL with 328 goals. Couldn't someone at least have gifted him with the chance to score an empty-netter, just to break his maiden?

It must have been tough to be in that situation with his bloodlines, especially since the tightly wound Boom Boom was trying to follow Scotty Bowman as coach. (He lasted until Christmas.) Let go after that season, Daniel Geoffrion played only two more NHL seasons, one with the '80-81 Jets, one of the worst teams of all time.

CENTRE: MATT HIGGINS (1997-2000, 57GP-1G-2A-3PT-6PIM)

It would be remiss to not include a first-round draft choice from the era of late-'90s Habs GM Réjean Houle, who's mortal lock for the Hockey Hall of Fame if it ever adds a Destroyers' Wing. It might as well be Higgins, the No. 18 pick in 1996, since he did very well when Habs fans at hfboards.com debated the worst Canadiens in recent history. Judging by the stats, he had a phobia about seeing his name appear in a small type, i.e. on the scoring summary.

Hindsight is 20-20. Higgins was taken ahead of a Québec player who turned out to be a very good centre, Daniel Brière. At the other end of the physical spectrum, Zdeno Chara was a third-rounder in '96, and Habs fans now know him very well.

RIGHT WING: TURNER STEVENSON (1992-2000, 385 GP-45G-66A-111PT-609PIM)

A great rainy-day post would be "Worst Examples of NHL GMs' Power Forward Fetish, 1990-2004." People have milked a doctorate-level thesis from less.

The Canadiens made the 6-foot-3, 220-lb. Stevenson (61 points, 276 PIMs in his draft year) the 12th overall pick in the 1990 draft, perhaps figuring he would be their version of Cam Neely, who had helped Boston knock them out of the playoffs in two of the previous three post-seasons. Sure. They were both B.C. boys. They both shot right-handed. The similarities kind of faded.

Far from being some monster reincarnation of John Ferguson, Stevenson panned out like a John Ferguson Jr. draft pick. He had only 27 points in his best season with the Canadiens. He was the middle of three straight Montreal first-rounders from Seattle of the WHL, and the only one who had a significant NHL career, but the Habs took him over a hometown goalie named Martin Brodeur. After leaving the Habs in 2000, Stevenson, ironically enough, helped the Brodeur and the Devils win the Cup in '03.

DEFENCE: CHRISTIAN LAFLAMME (1999-2001, 50 GP-0 G-5 A-5 PT-42 PIM)

This one is being taken more on faith. The Habs at the dawn of this decade, with ownership turmoil and a 65-cent Canadian dollar, were leaking oil pretty badly. Laflamme might have been the greatest guy in the world, but a seventh defenceman on that team rates a spot here.

DEFENCE: PATRICK TRAVERSE (2000-03, 109 GM-4G-19A-23PT-48PIM)

Time was, the Habs never would picked up a player who had just been with Boston, but they did with Traverse in 2000-01. The Ottawa Senators, who were a pretty smart organization in those days (hard as it's getting to remember), had thought better of keeping Traverse. Still, he ended up in Montreal for parts of three seasons and was a healthy scratch during the '02 playoffs. He's since settled into a nice post with the Sharks' AHL team.

GOAL: DOUG SOETAERT (1984-86, 51 GP, 3.13 GAA, .873 save percentage)

Hey, if TSN doesn't see fit honour Patrick Roy, then one should follow suit and omit his backup, the notorious André "Red Light" Racicot. Racicot probably shouldn't have been there, so he's spared. Soetaert makes it on the basis of the unique double he pulled off in the 1984-85. He faced the fewest shots per game of any goalie in the NHL, 23.2, yet managed to have the worst save percentage. .854, which means this team could not exist without him.

No doubt some of you have some nomimations. This was gleaned from, oh, 45 minutes' research, give or take a half-hour. The fact it took took that long to come with of six players who made people think Montreal's iconic CH chest stood for "Crappy Habs" attests to how good the Canadiens have been. You could have come with four full lines, three sets of D and a goalie tandem for the Leafs in half the time.

Related:
Richard or Lafleur? TSN picks the ultimate Canadiens team (TSN.ca)

Get that man a "Mrs. Tebow" T-shirt...

One of the beauties of being a sports geek in Canada: No ESPN. It taints our collective unconscious enough already since it does influences TSN, but you can avoid directly dealing with candidates for sainthood such as Skip Bayless, who actually claimed that Florida Gators QB Tim Tebow "is the next Favre."

Granted, Bayless had more basis for that claim than he did when he tried to out Troy Aikman several years ago. It's a blog rule to avoid two-paragraph posts, but this is worth it for Stephen A. Smith's reaction. Screamin' A might not recover:

"Sixty thousand plus yards that Brett Favre has passed for. He's going to the Hall of Fame and Tim Tebow, who hasn't played one single, one single football down in the NFL, is going to be the next Brett Favre."

(Clip via NESWSports.com).