Jusssst a bit outside: the Cincinnati Reds preview

Duty calls to preview the MLB season with 30 things somewhat about each of the 30 teams. At bat: the Cincinnati Reds.

1. Too long: This is the 15th season since the last Reds division title and 20th since their last World Series championship.
   
   They are sixth on one writer's MLB Optimism Index, 20 spots ahead of first baseman Joey Votto's hometown team. They have some young talent and some older players who are just running out the clock. They could finish in the black for the first time since 2000.
   
   
2. The Aroldicrats: Cuban left-hander Aroldis Chapman, whose representation had Jays fans on the hook in the winter, should show why he was worth the fuss. Prospect guru John Sickels figures Chapman should get a minimum of 15 starts in the minor leagues just to adapt to U.S. baseball.
   
   The Reds, who are playing it coy with Chapman the way teams always do before they farm out a prize prospect, probably haven't had an arm like his since they rented Hall of Famer Tom Seaver from the Mets for a few seasons in the late 1970s and early '80s.
   
   
3. Over-under on wins: 78½
   
   
4. Take the ... Over. This feels like one of those real solid 80- to 82-win National League Central teams. Cincy would need everything to fall into place. How often does that happen?
   
   
5. Woe, Ohio: Greater minds could figure out how this would impact the standings, but Ohio has been one of the hardest-hit states during the U.S.' economic reckoning. The Reds and Cleveland were third-last and second-last in their leagues in attendance last season.
   
   
6. Votto's feeling fine: The sweet-swinging Toronto native will be hard-pressed to have a .981 on-base-plus-slugging like he did last season (really high BABIP and what-not), but he's established as an elite hitter.
   
   
7. The other young arm: For all the Chapman buzz, Rob Neyer feels last season's first-round choice, right-hander Mike Leake, should be Cincy's No. 5 starter.
   
   
8. Still managed by Dusty Baker: He's Cito Gaston without the two World Series titles but mad name-dropping ability.
   
   
9. Where patience is a double entendre: Please don't underestimate that lefty-hitting outfielder Jay Bruce is still only 23 years old and has plenty of time to become more disciplined (he on-based just .314 and .303 his first two seasons).
   
   It does seem odd his biggest comp for the 23-year-old lefty outfielder is Barry Bonds with infamous bust Wily Mo Pena running a close second.
   
   
10. Great spending: Does any mid-market team better demonstrate baseball's salary structure? The Reds' entire outfield will make $2.2 million this season. Meantime, they have four $10-million-per-players, including closer Francisco Cordero (who chucked a whole 66.2 innings last season) and fast-fading 30-something third baseman Scott Rolen.
    
    
11. Clearing the stables: One storyline for the Reds set up by the Baseball Prospectus 2010 chapter is whether they jettison Cordero and second baseman Brandon Phillips for more cost-efficient replacements (and finally give Todd Frazier a chance to start!).
    
    It will be great fun watching the oldsters in Cincy who have been kicking around since the Big Red Machine days howl about punting on the season, when dumping salary would help the Reds' chances in 2011 and '12.
    
    
12. One reason any optimism is very guarded: The bullpen overachieved last season (3.56 ERA). Relief performance may largely ruled by randomness.
    
    
13. High maintenance: Right-hander Johnny Cueto is high-risk, high-reward, like a lot of pitchers below age 25.
    
    
14. Speaking of: Please do the in-one-ear routine on young ace Edinson Vólquez, who is out for the season after Tommy John surgery. He'll make it back whenever.
    
    That's right, a young arm affected by Dusty Baker's decisions. (The Beep notes Vólquez "threw 110 or more pitches in six of his last seven starts in 2008 ... for a Reds team more than 20 games out of first place.")
    
    
15. Waiting for any righty: The Reds play in one of the most generous home run parks (2.31 per game last season), but their only right-handed power comes from Phillips.
    
    
16. Like lightning: Centrefielder Drew Stubbs swiped 46 bases in Triple-A last season.
    
    
17. Can I try my career over? All outfielder Jonny Gomes has ever needed was a freak ballpark that panders to a right-handed hitter and a league that uses the DH.
    
    
18. The curse of Johnny Bench: Another "zero or five" anniversary is that it's been 30 years since the best catcher in National League history moved to another position. The Reds have been starved for success behind the plate pretty much ever since. None of their top 20 prospects are catchers, too.
    
    
19. Mr. Durability: Bronson Arroyo throws 200 very average innings every season. Don't miss the point: He makes it 200.
    
    
20. Overestimate: The other veteran starting pitcher, Aaron Harang, has fast regressed since his 16-6 season three years ago.
    
    
21. The great debate: That fifth starter spot will either go to the 22-year-old Leake, the college boy from Arizona State who's never pitched in the minors, or the 23-year-old lefty Travis Wood, who spent five years in the bus leagues. Nice little debate setting up there over whether college or pro is the better route.
    
    
22. Nine years later, still amazing: Aging shortstop Orlando Cabrera was actually the Expos' cleanup hitter 47 times back in 2001.
    
    
23. Rejoice: Montrealer Phillippe Valiquette is on the Reds' 40-man roster. He's basically the left-handed francophone version of Milwaukee's John Axford, a Canadian specialist reliever who throws serious gas but walks a lot of batters.
    
    
24. Has to be a coincidence: Utilityman Drew Sutton played at Baylor, so he's got at least one Final Four pick left in his bracket. He also has the same last name as a former Kentucky coach, so that might make two.
    
    
25. More great moments in glib comparisons: Good-field no-fit shortstop Paul Janish is to the National League in 2010 as John McDonald was to the AL in 2007.
    
    
26. Future Hall of Very Gooder: Scott Rolen is a seven-time Gold Glover, exudes the kind of grittiness that could make Bob Costas and George Will weep, and he's OPS-plused a lifetime 124. That will get him some Cooperstown support in a few years, but judging by his comps, not nearly enough.
    
    
27. Taking the Reds part a little literally: The Reds signed a Cuban lefty (Chapman), have an outfielder whose names conjures up the old USSR (Wladimir Balentien) and Votto is from Canada, so according to Ann Coulter that makes him a Communist.
    
    
28. The Arthur effect: Lefty reliever Arthur Rhodes has finished 15 of his 18 seasons with a team that finished above. 500, including 10 consecutive. The only time he was in danger of finishing with a losing team was 2008, when he managed to get traded away by a Mariners team on its way to 101 losses.
    
    
29. PECOTA says: 77-85, fifth NL Central, 703 runs scored, 739 against.
    
    (Houston and Milwaukee are pegged as 78-84 teams, so don't put too much stock in the fifth.)
    
    
30. In English please: The Reds always say they're going someplace fun, but it always turns out to be Denny's.

Easing into a Carolina Blue Monday (or, Roy, that was boring)

Never try to out-contrary a contrarian. Charles Pierce, though, might be missing something essential about sports fan in a piece of punchy snark about a kind of humdrum NCAA tournament.

Sports fans, at the end of the day, don't really mind if a "charmless oligarchy" such as North Carolina or Kansas in 2008 is cutting down the nets on a Monday night in April, although an exciting game is nice too. Carolina, with Tyler Hansbrough, Ty Lawson, et al., just had way too much for Michigan State.

"Charmless oligarchy," though, sounds like one of those jaded-journo phrases. For the rest of us, you have make your peace with the big-ticket teams, Carolina, Kansas, Florida twice, Carolina again and UConn winning championships.

It was an anticlimactic NCAAs, although one might be loath to say that out loud (gotta justify the time outlay). You could argue that aside from 2008, the Kansas overtime win over Memphis (and it's as much remembered for how Memphis spit the bit), this decade has fallen short of delivering a great championship game that wasn't forgotten by everyone except the fans of the two teams playings. Forget the 1980s (Michael Jordan's jumper to beat Georgetown in '82, Lorenzo Charles' dunk at the buzzer to put N.C. State over Houston, Villanova shooting 78.6% to upset G-town in '85, Indiana's Keith Smart hitting the jumper to beat Syracuse in '87). The 1990s had about four classic finals (UConn over Duke in '99, Miles Simon and Mike Bibby leading Arizona's overtime upset of defending champion Kentucky in '97, the Chris Webber game in 1993, and the lost classic, Arkansas over Duke in '94). This decade topped out at one, maybe two.

That said, Pierce has a point about the malaise of modernity tinging March Madness, while the fact people can ignore the NCAA's sieve-like approach to making sure every program is on the level.

"Its grandiosity has rendered it impossible to contain, and that same grandiosity brings with it a demand for consistency, for an easily defined cast of characters, a rack of brand names consonant with the corporate class that's come to run the thing. We are now back in the tedious dynastic years, except that we now have Tudors, Stuarts, and Plantagenets, and not year after year of the House of Windsor. There are no usurpers any more. Four times the predictability and, yes, four times the boredom."

Maybe so, maybe not. Sports journalists sometimes lose sight of the weird conundrum that fans tend to be creatures of habits. Sports provides the illusion of permanency. The NCAA Tournament is like seeing friends and relatives you don't visit too often; the coaches are like a bunch of great-uncles.

The point is the boredom Pierce is talking about almost filters up from the audience. No one is demanding change or really expecting a Final Four between Gonzaga, North Dakota State, Western Kentucky and Utah. It's almost like it confirms that everyone knows their place; you expect to see Roy Williams, hair a little whiter than it was back in 2005, winning another championship. And that's the end of that chapter.

Related:
The Final Snore; A charmless oligarchy of schools has sucked the excitement out of the NCAA Tournament (Charles Pierce, Slate)
Recruiting Violations and the Integrity of March Madness (Madisionian.net)

Hoops: Mini-March Madness for Canadians

It sounds like a made-for-TV event, but Toronto-area ballers Cory Joseph and Tristan Thompson are part of a national championship U.S. high school basketball team.

Joseph and Thompson, each made some key baskets today to help the Findlay College Prep Pilots beat Oak Hill (Va.) Academy 74-66 to win the inaugural ESPN RISE National High School Invitational. It sounds weird and scary that there actually is a semi-recognized national tournament for high school basketball and that ESPN broadcasts the championship game on the off-day during the Final Four, but what the hey, that's America.

Thompson, as you know, is a 6-foot-9 lefty power forward who is destined for the Texas Longhorns. Joseph is one of the best point guards in his year (he still has another year of high school), but has not signed. The Las Vegas Sun reported last week that it was down to Louisville, Ohio State (meaning he would play against his brother Devoe, who's at Big Ten rival Minnesota), Texas Tech and Texas A & M.

Related:
Pilots beat Oak Hill, 74-66, for ESPN Inv’l title (Las Vegas Sun)

Snark break ...

Classic Ottawa. Two different sports-bar type places yesterday, one during lunchtime rush and one during dinner rush, and neither had the NCAA Tournament on any of their dozen or so TVs. World's biggest village, indeed.

It's stuff like that which curries favour for the notion Canada is addicted to hockey (nothing this site's commenters and writers haven't said before).

Beer companies invent cheesy ads related to Canadians' devotion to hockey; fast-food chains sell NHL figurines with a meal combo and the Stanley Cup playoffs run into June making it an eight-month season.

And Canadians eat it all up.

"That's an unhealthy addiction.

Other sports like baseball, basketball, soccer, among others, are pushed to the fringe to make room for the almighty game of stick, ice and puck. And that's not right."

The San Jose Sharks' Jeremy Roenick bought a golf course near Boston. This will give his teammate, Joe Thornton, somewhere to hang out in the middle of May, when he always seems to have a lot of free time.

Shame on Duke coach Mike Krzyzewski for saying President Barack Obama should "focus on the economy" because he doesn't have the Blue Devils reaching the Final Four in his NCAA bracket (him and a lot of people). Far be it to expect Coach K to realize he gets paid $3 million a year to coach 19-year-olds in part since Americans turn to sports for solace in tough times. Who wouldn't be happy to find out they did better with their picks than Obama, who went 11-5 on Thursday's games?

Besides, Krzyzewski sure didn't turn down an invitation to take his team to the White House when Duke won the Final Four in 1991, '92 and 2001. Wouldn't that have taken the President's focus away from serious stuff?

There are way too many timeouts in NCAA basketball. Also, 24 seconds to shoot instead of (yawn) 35 means the Canadian version of the game is 1.4583333333333 times better than the NCAA.

Referring to college basketball's NIT as the Not Invited Tournament never gets old.

This post is worth nothing, but this is worth noting:

• Jeffrey Loria is one vote away from getting his new ballpark for the Florida Marlins.
  
• Congratulations to a one-time Simcoe Reformer colleague, Monte Sonnenberg, who is nominated for a National Newspaper Award in the local reporting category.
  
• Kingston Whig-Standard reporter Rob Tripp's Cancrime site is a real treasure trove, if you're into society's seamy underbelly.
  

Top 5: Getting in Tournament mode

The NCAA Tournament (always capitalized) tipped off in earnest. You're been up nights trying to figure out which 10 seed might make it to the Sweet Sixteen (Michigan, maybe Minnesota with Toronto's Devoe Joseph), strip-mined The Wages of Wins for pearls of wisdom, maybe said to hell with it and picked teams based on who has a funnier nickname, although none have anything on the one matchup in the women's NCAAs between South Dakota State (the Jackrabbits) and Texas Christian (the Horned Frogs).

You're wrong if you think this is all about knowing which team doesn't have an adequate backup centre if their best big man gets in early foul trouble, although that might help you fill out your bracket. March Madness is not an event. It's an attitude.

1. Re-read portions of Will Blythe's To Hate Like This Is To Be Happy Forever: A Thoroughly Obsessive, Intermittently Uplifting, and Occasionally Unbiased Account of the Duke-North Carolina Basketball Rivalry.
   
   Granted, Blythe probably went a little far trying to claim that there's no internecine hatred like Duke-Carolina internecine hatred. However, it's brilliant and it gets to the heart of why people follow sports, to rationalize irrational loathing.
   
   Duke has never done you any wrong, yet you hate them and hate yourself for picking them to reach the Elite Eight. You might not watch NCAA Division 1 hoops all season (especially since the 35-second shot clock makes for a slower-paced game to Canadian eyes which have got used to the 24-second shot clock in the CIS), but when you see Duke, you're seeing the whole bile-pushing line of succession, from J.J. Redick back to Wojo to Bobby Hurley and Christian Laettner. Who's playing for them now doesn't seem to matter much.
   
   
2. Re-read Chuck Klosterman's essay "33" (anthologized in Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs). It's about the 1980s Celtics-Lakers rivalry, but it gets to the core of basketball. Relating to the sport comes down to black-and-white philosophies. You need your absolutes (do you favour a team with great bigs, or one with savvy senior guards) if you're going to be able to fill out your bracket by noon ET tomorrow.
   

   QUESTION #8: Should capital punishment be legal?
   Laker People say no, as Kareem Abdul-Jabbar is a human rights activist who would question the validity of any practice that essentially replicates the original crime. Celtic People say yes, because anybody who's looked into Larry Bird's eyes knows he's a killer.

   This might embarrass both the person it's about and the person who said it, but a friend said that he knew the Carleton had it in the bag at the CIS Final 8 when he saw that one of the more important Ravens had noticeably deep-set eyes. He went on to explain that men have deeper-set eyes than women due to the warrior culture, when people fought with swords. With tongue firmly planted in cheek, this would mean Carleton's path to this national title started back in 1066 on some battlefield in England.
   
   
3. Go on YouTube and watch as many One Shining Moments as you can. You will cry. It's OK to cry.
   
4. Watch Hoosiers. It's a CRTC and FCC mandate that some cable channel must being airing it late at night on the eve of the Thursday first-round games. It was Reagan-era schmaltz, but it was good schmaltz.
   
5. Stay up half the night preparing arguments for why the Canadian university champion should get a NCAA bid (or saying, hey, our tournament is good enough). More than one Canadian hoops devotee has said it would be great if the CIS champs could be given a spot in the NCAAs, not as one of the no-hope 16 seeds, but maybe as a 12 seed against a team such as Utah, seeded fifth in the Midwest Regional.
   
   Imagine the interest if some wild Canadian horde were allowed inside the velvet rope. Imagine the pressure on the U.S. coaches and players to maintain the NCAA's superiority.
   

Do all that, and you'll be ready.

(Classic To Hate Like This Is To Be Happy Forever moment on the phone with my mom earlier this week: "Did you see the Jets beat out the Raiders?" she said, referring to two area Junior C hockey teams, the Amherstview Jets and Napanee Raiders. Neither of us have ever attended a game, so taking glee in the Raiders' dust-biting might seem like bad form.

However, it made sense. The Sagers are Ernestown people, not Napanee people, no matter what our mailing address says. As kids, we played our minor hockey and ball for Ernestown Township, since it was closer to house and most of all, not Napanee, which tended to take youth sports a little too seriously. All five of us attended Ernestown Secondary School and played various sports, although it was good that my brother got to play a little football for the Napanee Golden Hawks. The lines are clearly delineated.)

Hoops: Six overtimes, seriously

The best way to put Syracuse's six-overtime win over UConn last night is that the No. 2 team in the NCAA, Pittsburgh, lost earlier in the night. Almost no one noticed.

Toronto's Andy Rautins had no small part, hitting a buzzer-beating, contested three to force the fourth overtime and hitting another to put the 'Cuse ahead to stay in the sixth.



The greatest game ever played (according to the weird guy at the end of the clip, language NSFW)? Not likely. This wasn't N.C. State over Maryland in 1974. But it was a hell of a game.

One Shining Moment originator dies; but our wasted youth is eternal

Doug Towey, the man behind making One Shining Moment into the anthem of CBS' NCAA Tournament coverage, died earlier this week. It would be remiss to not acknowledge his passing.

"Folk singer David Barrett penned the song in 1986 and gave it to his high school friend CBS News Chief Investigative Correspondent, and then Sports Illustrated staff writer, Armen Keteyian. He passed it along to Towey who planned to use it to accompany the network's closing highlights of Super Bowl XXI in January 1987. But due to long-running interviews the song never made it to air.

A couple of months later, Towey was looking for a way to bring CBS Sports' NCAA Tournament coverage to a close and decided to use it. One Shining Moment made its Final Four debut on March 30, 1987, following Keith Smart's baseline jumper in the final seconds that gave Indiana a 74-73 victory over Syracuse.

It's schmaltzy as all hell, but you'd defy anyone not to get a little misty.

Two personal favourites always stick out: One was 1997, Arizona's overtime win over Kentucky (the Wildcats beating the Wildcats), just for the shared experience of a bunch of guys sitting in the TV room at a university residence, living and dying with every basket, every foul. There was so pent-up emotion in that room that once it was over, the only way to let it out was to throw on some sweats and running shoes and go out and play touch football on the lawn outside, even though it was midnight out and snowing heavily. Of course, we waited for One Shining Moment.



Last, but not least, Syracuse in 2003.



There was room full of yelling, screaming 19-year-olds that night, at least not with that mid-20-something who watching on a TV in a newspaper office's boardroom. Times change and you learn to put away childish things, but not all of them.

Related:
Strange karma: CBS' "One Shining Moment" guy dies (Los Angeles Daily News; via The Quad)

March Madness is just a sweet sixteen sleeps away...

... presuming you count the play-in game.

Deadspin posted a clip of ESPN college hoops analyst Digger Phelps dancing with a couple cheerleaders during a Cal Golden Bears-UCLA Bruins game on the weekend. Of course, the definitive dancing coach-turned-analyst remains the late, great Al McGuire, with the then-Syracuse Orangemen, nineteen hundred and ninety-six:



Al's up in heaven now, where life is all seashells and balloons, especially after the number the Orange did on Cincinnati today (87-63).

Snark break...

Corey Koskie possibly making a comeback in the World Baseball Classic, what do you think about that? OK, the Crosby-Ovechkin stuff...



Ron MacLean straining for a pun ("It was one thing for Henry David Thoreau to simply on Walden Pond, but it's another thing to simply on Bell Centre pond and Don Cherry's "bitch" comments were the huh? moments of Hockey Day in Canada, but it works.

It's a small quibble, but does anyone else wonder if MacLean, who was broadcasting in New Brunswick, could have mentioned the Bathurst basketball team? It was true to the spirit of the day. Prime Minister Stephen Harper, a hockey guy through and through, saluted the Phantoms.

Incidentally, a major eye-roll is due to Carleton University for inviting President Barack Obama to hoop it up with the No. 1-ranked Ravens on his state pop-in. Carleton should focus on getting the PM out to a game, especially if his alma mater, Calgary, is playing in the CIS Final 8 next month at Scotiabank Place. Granted, if he did, when would he have time to finish that book about hockey he "still claims to be working on?" (Dave Feschuk, Toronto Star)

The Dallas Cowboys absolutely must acquired Ray Lewis. Signing a guy who once faced a murder rap (plea-bargained) would improve the Cowboys' image.

This is nothing to joke about it, but dozens of people became sick recently due to air poisoning caused by a faulty ice-making machine at a rink in Quebec. Perish the thought that getting sick from what you were exposed to at the rink could be dubbed Spezzaitis.

That's playing hardball: The Hall of Fame pitcher Jim Bunning, now a U.S. senator, sees great opportunity rising out of a Supreme Court justice having cancer:

" 'Bad cancer. The kind you don’t get better from,' Bunning went on. 'Even though she was operated on, usually nine months is the longest that anybody would live after being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.' "

There are some things you just don't say, man.

This post is worth nothing, but this is worth noting:

• It is only three weeks to March Madness, so start reading up on bracket-busters such as Utah State, even though it lost on Saturday.
• TSN.ca has a list of all Canadians playing NCAA Division 1 basketball. The next step: List female players, such as Ottawa's Steph MacDonald (Canisius), Jenna Gilbert (La Salle) and Courtnay Pilypaitis (Vermont), among others.
  
• Last, but not least, birthday wishes to my mother and brother-in-law, Kathie Sager and Amer Murad, who each had theirs yesterday, thus making it even more unforgivable that I forgot.

Hoops: Joseph maturing, and that's half the Battle

Toronto baller Devoe Joseph got the equivalent of a freshman paddling.

Joseph had a season-high 23 points, all in the second half (he made 7-of-8 three-point shots), for the Minnesota Golden Gophers in a loss to Penn State that really put a crimp in their NCAA Tournament ambitions. He also had the ball ripped in the backcourt when his team was down by one in the final minute. Penn State's Talor Battle ended up getting a three-point play out of it, which iced the game.

A feature story on Joseph in today's Minny Star-Tribune that mentioned that he's had issues with turnovers (he has more giveaways than assists, never good for a guard), but he's been blossoming for Minnesota. The 23 points he scored across the final 20 minutes today was more than double his season high in any game this season and he's been pushing Gophers starting point guard Al Nolen for playing time.

Andy Rautins chipped in with 13 points in Syracuse's slump-snapping overtime win over Georgetown, so it was a pretty good day for Canadian ballers. The obvious hope would be that a few will be playing in the NCAA Tournament, which would give the national media more of a hook.

Related:
Settling into role part of U freshman's education (Myron P. Medcalf, Minneapolis Star-Tribune)

Billy Packer wanted it this way, now please get off his lawn

"I've never been much of a sports fan" sound likes a perfect epitaph for Billy Packer.

The initial reaction to Packer's ouster as CBS Sports lead analyst for the NCAA Tournament has been about as sympathetic as Javier Bardem's character in No Country For Old Men. Some would even say the blogosphere -- witness the 90.5% disapproval rating he received from Deadspin commenters -- might have forced the network's hand.

Packer, through his words and deeds, more or less brought this on himself. His strengths -- being direct and unafraid of calling it like he saw it, even when he didn't see it -- were also his weaknesses, as so often is the case. A TV sports announcers also has to come off like he/she knows the people watching at home. Packer seldom seemed to relate to anything outside of his very narrow agenda of kissing coach keister.

That's why there won't be many requiems or honestly loving tributes for someone who's after being a TV staple at the Final Four since since 1975. (How long ago was that? John Wooden was still coaching.) Ten years ago, Keith Jackson, who to a generation was to college football announcing what Packer was to basketball announcing, got a season-long send-off when he announced he was retiring.

(Of course, Jackson scotched that by unretiring and working regional games, but he did hang on long enough to get in that "Vince Young has moved beyond the pale" line after the winning touchdown in the Texas-USC BCS title game.)

It probably had to end this way for Packer. CBS' crankypants emeritus, who was about a cuddly as a cactus and as charming as an eel, probably wasn't one for being presented with a gold watch and a rocking chair during his final visit to each stadium. Knowing how it ended with other sports broadcasting institutions who tried to be more than the games they were commentating -- Howard Cosell 25 years ago, Howie Meeker on Hockey Night in Canada around the same time -- a lot of them act like they'd prefer to go out on a sour note. It's proof everyone else is wrong and they're right, and they can live our their days saying "screw you" to everyone when they should be saying "thank you."

It's called the bitter end for a reason. From a fan's point of view, I've never been much of a sports fan are absolutely perfect words to remember Packer by.

IT'S BILL JAMES' WORLD ...

Some will sink, but we will float / grab your coat / and let's get out of here...

• It figures that Bill James' formula for when a NCAA basketball game is out of reach would come into a play during a final in which his beloved Kansas Jayhawks made an improbable comeback to beat Memphis.
  
  A nine-point lead with 2:12 left in the game is 23% safe if the trailing team has the ball, 32% safe if the leading team has the ball, according to James' calculator. Let's say this was about 70-30 in favour of Kansas rallying -- Darrell Arthur made a couple big shots -- and Memphis spitting the bit.
  
  Those on the Fundamentals side of basketball's culture war will crow for a long time about Memphis' missed free throws in the endgame.
• Does anyone have a good idea what to call the nightly Stanley Cup playoffs posts that I'll be writing for Epic Carnival?
  
  The front-runner, at this writing, is "Playoff Beard."
• A hearty best wishes goes out to former Ottawa Lynx PR man Riley Denver, who's taken a job with the Canadian Olympic Committee based in Toronto. Carl Kiiffner has details.
• Making a running joke out of the struggles of the Lehigh Valley IronPigs (né Ottawa Lynx) is tempting -- easy, too -- although it's not fair. Ottawa gave the team a Viking funeral, so it's sporting to wish Allentown, Pa., all the joy of Triple-A baseball.
  
  Nevertheless ... anyone who picked up a morning paper that runs the International League standings might notice that the recast IronPigs are 0-5. The batting averages for seven of the nine players who started last night in Pawtucket were .167, .154, .158, .143, .143 again, .077 and .067.
  
  It will get better. Hey, the IronPigs are playing a day game today; now that someone's snarked off, they'll probably get their first win; here's hoping they do.

CIS CORNER: CU ON LABOUR DAY WEEKEND, KANSAS

Nice timing on Carleton's part — confirmation has been sent out that the Kansas Jayhawks' next game, after the little matter of that NCAA title game vs. Memphis tonight — will be on Aug. 30 vs. the Ravens in pre-season action.

From the perspective of a hoops junkie, of course, tonight Kansas is playing a U.S. version of Carleton. Memphis' system of dribble-drive motion bears more than a passing resemblance to Carleton's drive-and-kick game.

(Thanks to David Kent at Carleton.)

Previous:
Kansas making pre-season tour to Canada (The CIS Blog, Dec. 20, 2007)

AH, THE MADNESS IS UPON US

The magnificent bastards at Catsandbeer.com have put together a list contemplating what all the coaches in the Sweet Sixteen of the NCAA Tournament would do if they weren't coaching.

This is probably best explained by clicking through and looking at the pictures. Personal faves, though:

• Tony Bennett Jr., Washington State: "Excitable Mormon."
• Jay Wright, Villanova: "Man about town."
• Rick Pitino, Louisville: "Scott Baio in a Charles in Charge remake."

What would CBS' Billy Packer do if he wasn't commentating? He would probably be the condo association president from hell who faithfully shows up at city council to piss and moan every week about his property taxes going up by three cents.

Enjoy the games tonight, everyone. Try not to ruin it for the purists by telling them poor free-throw shooting teams can still win; Will Leitch believes it should be kept well-hidden.

HATE THE DRAKE...

The highlight from Day 2 of March Madness; Ty Rogers sends Western Kentucky to the second round and screws the bracket for everyone who had Drake making a deep run. Intentional Foul gets credit for the find.