AH, THE MADNESS IS UPON US

The magnificent bastards at Catsandbeer.com have put together a list contemplating what all the coaches in the Sweet Sixteen of the NCAA Tournament would do if they weren't coaching.

This is probably best explained by clicking through and looking at the pictures. Personal faves, though:

• Tony Bennett Jr., Washington State: "Excitable Mormon."
• Jay Wright, Villanova: "Man about town."
• Rick Pitino, Louisville: "Scott Baio in a Charles in Charge remake."

What would CBS' Billy Packer do if he wasn't commentating? He would probably be the condo association president from hell who faithfully shows up at city council to piss and moan every week about his property taxes going up by three cents.

Enjoy the games tonight, everyone. Try not to ruin it for the purists by telling them poor free-throw shooting teams can still win; Will Leitch believes it should be kept well-hidden.