Joey Harrington also showed comedic prowess back in 2002

It's been around, but for a larf, Detroit Lions saviour Matthew Stafford's turn giving the Top Ten List on The Late Show With David Letterman.



"Just think, if the Lions win once game next year, I'll be a hero."

Batter up: Seattle Mariners

It's that mystical, wonderful time of year where you commit to a team which you know fully well won't win. This season, in honour of an popular Internet meme that's probably been around for 25 years, we'll present 25 things about each team. Here's the Seattle preview, in which we rely on U.S.S. Mariner for almost everything.

1. Slogan for 2009: "A New Way. A New Day." I give it a B-. They do, legitimately, have a new way about them this year (read on) but the creativity isn't there, guys. At least it's not "Our Team. Our Time."
   
2. 2008? Not good. They had one hitter with an OPS+ substantially above 100, and he couldn't catch a cold in a Grade 1 classroom in December. Second-worst offense, fourth-worst defense. Fifty-four starts, most of them awful, from Carlos Silva and Miguel Batista and Jarrod Washburn, who collectively received $30M for that fine work.
3. Newer Slimmer Carlos Silva is down 30 pounds this year, apparently. I'll spare you the list of players who said they were in the best shape of their life in spring training this year.
   
4. And even when they won last year, they didn't do it very well. The best example is June 9 at Toronto. Down by one in the seventh with two on and the, er, heart of the Blue Jays order coming up, they call for Batista. We'll get to Batista in a second, but two days before that game, he was bombed out of Fenway, so any manager worth his sunflower seeds should recognize he wasn't the ideal choice to handle a high-leverage situation against Scott Rolen and Vernon Wells.
5. Related to the last point: Any lineup that allows the other team to intentionally walk Ichiro in a tie game in the ninth... wow.
6. The best way to build a bullpen is to grab a bunch of cheap pitchers who can't start, tell one of them he's throwing the ninth, and see who in the group isn't terrible. Which makes one wonder where Batista, owed another $9 million this year, fits in. A sunk-cost-ish argument from U.S.S. Mariner says he should be released; the value put on his first two Seattle years at Fangraphs (paid 15.5 million, worth about four) doesn't disagree.
7. Roy Corcoran, Mark Lowe, David Aardsma, Tyler Walker, Jesus Delgado, and Chad Cordero. All making less than $1M in 2009, all likely to be just as good as more expensive pitchers.
   
8. Okay, so they lost 100 games in 2008. But this year should be better: not only do they have simple regression on their side, but they've actually put some effort into their manager, GM, and player acquisitions. When Don Wakamatsu, hereafter referred to as Wak, was hired in November, USS Mariner (not known for being optimistic about the local nine) said: "There’s no way to describe the last month as anything but total and utter change of direction. And that, in and of itself, is encouraging."
9. Wak comes from the A's, where he was their bench coach, and he's probably a little more prepared to be a manager than other bench coaches. Not that a manager matters that much, but any small advantage is still not a disadvantage.
10. Another good decision was the hiring of Jack Zduriencik. No, I don't know how to pronounce that. This isn't an A's/Red Sox stats thing, but rather a Twins/Braves development thing. For nine years or so, he was the Brewers' scouting director and/or assistant to the regional general manager and has been in similar positions going back to 1990. Back to USSM for their opinion: "If you want to know why the Brewers were in the playoffs this year, it’s because Zduriencik hit home run after home run in the draft. This is a good hire."
11. Can't find the link where it's discussed, but the Mariners are perhaps uniquely positioned to build a terrific analytical department: the Seattle area is one of the most-educated in the country and has long had a computer science-y background, so it shouldn't be too hard to set up an office, steal some Amazon workers, throw them doughnuts every four and a half hours, and get some terrific results.
12. Outside King Felix and The Interview, the rotation isn't pretty. Their improved D, with Franklin Gutierrez out there and Raul Ibañez not, will help the 3-5 guys. Phillippe Aumont is a few years away.
13. If there was one good moment in Canada's second-straight first-round exit in the World Baseball Classic, it was Aumont. I had the good fortune to see him live against the U.S., and the power he puts into his fastball is simply without peer. The noise it produces is unlike any other ball-meets-glove sound you've ever heard before. (For baseball nuts, try to catch Aumont at a Clinton-Lansing game in the Midwest League this summer: Lansing is only five hours from the Centre of the Universe and is the Jays' affiliate.)
14. We have a CIS connection! Seattle Times baseball reporter Geoff Baker, formerly of the Toronto Star, was cut by the Concordia Stingers football team several years ago after five knee operations.
15. More on Baker. His Mariners blog is probably the best one out there in pure output. USS Mariner has long been the king, and the best in terms of value, but as they'll tell you, they work their 9-5 and then blog about the M's. Baker's blog is part of his job and he does it well: pictures, video (a short daily show, it appears), audio, and regular old text.
16. Geoff Baker Live or Ron Livingston Live? You decide.
    
17. Adrian Beltre, possibly remembered among casual fans for riding a big 2004 with the Dodgers into a bigger contract with the Mariners, is actually a very very good player. His defense at third has been near the top in the majors in 2008, 2006, 2005, 2004...is that enough? Should I go on?
    
18. So the big contract doesn't matter much for Beltre: he's been worth $45M or so since 2006 and has been paid just $35M mostly because of his D. This is not a mundane detail, Michael!
19. If you cheer for the M's before they do well, you can be one of those people who claims to be ahead of the bandwagon: they're 19th, or were 19th on Thursday afternoon, among teams at Ballhype's most popular rankings. (Toronto: 16th. Hooray.)
20. Ken Griffey, Jr. is back. But it's not 1993 Junior, so he should be kept away from an outfielder's glove. From MLB.com's Jim Street: "He said that he never saw any of the balls that were to left field until it was too late for him to catch any of them." Rest is fine.
    
21. Did it really take this far to get to Ichiro? Well, everyone knows him. He knows Griffey, too.
22. Tommy Lasorda now knows Ichiro's got some wit, or maybe not, unless the joke was explained to him.
    
23. Here's how old Griffey is: his most recent good performance was in Little Big League.
    
24. Safeco Field turns 10 this year, making it older--yes, older--than the AL stadiums in New York, Chicago, Detroit, St. Petersburg, and soon enough, Minneapolis.
    
25. Letterman disappoints: the best Top 10 involving Seattle in any way is "Top Ten Ways Charles Kuralt Will Spend His Retirement." Too soon.
    

Canada could use a fastball-throwin' sasquatch

Anyone who's watched the two Ontario-based NHL teams might find themselves agreeing with Derek Sanderson Jeter.

Top 10 Reasons To Watch the World Baseball Classic
by beisbolct

Batter up: World Baseball Classic, Pool D

The 2009 World Baseball Classic officially began in the wee hours of Thursday morning. Most teams, including these ones, get started on the weekend.

Next up: a preview of Pool D (San Juan): Dominican Republic, Puerto Rico, Panama, and the Netherlands. This pool was much the same in 2006, except with Cuba instead of the D.R. This time around, none of these teams will face Cuba until the semifinal.

DOMINICAN REPUBLIC

• Opener: Saturday, March 7 vs. the Netherlands (11 a.m., all times Eastern)
• WBC 2006: 4th overall: 5-1 in group play, lost to Cuba 3-1 in semifinal.
• Players to watch: SS Jose Reyes (Mets), DH David Ortiz (Red Sox), RHP Edinson Volquez (Reds), 2B Robinson Cano (Yankees), SS Miguel Tejada (Astros), SP Pedro Martinez
  
• Who's missing: Adrian Beltre and some guy named Rodriguez.
  
• Pitching: Jose Arredondo, Juan Cruz, Damaso Marte, and Rafael Perez are varying degrees of dangerous out of the bullpen: Perez has had more strikeouts than innings in every major-league season. And with Volquez and Johnny Cueto, the Dominicans are probably No. 1 in "2008 pitcher performance minus 2007 pitcher performance." But they also have Pedro in camp, who considers himself "the old goat in this group."
  
• Hitting: Without Beltre or A-Rod, it's not as scary as it was a week ago. But it's still better than most in this tournament. Willy Aybar can fill in at third in their absence.
  
• Fielding: First base and outfield is a little less packed than second, third, and short (Cano, Reyes, Tejada, Hanley Ramirez can play too). Willy Tavares is probably in CF by default. Nelson Cruz can handle RF, but Jose Guillen and Moises Alou have never been great so Jose Bautista might show up in one of the corners by default.
  
• Predicted Round 1 finish: First place.
  
• Tournament potential: They're good enough to make the final four. They'll have to beat two of these teams (easy enough) then probably two more of Puerto Rico/USA/Venezuela. Their pitching may not carry them all the way to the final, though.
  

PUERTO RICO

• Opener: Saturday, March 7 vs. Panama (5 p.m.)
• WBC 2006: 5th overall: 4-2 in group play and did not make semifinals. They beat Cuba 12-2, but lost to them 4-3 in the second round.
  
• Players to watch: RHP Javier Vazquez (Braves), C Geovany Soto (Cubs), OF Alex Rios (Blue Jays), 1B Carlos Delgado (Mets), OF Carlos Beltran (Mets), other Mets named Carlos
• Who's missing: Not too many pitchers available. Only 17 Puerto Rican pitchers have made their major-league debut in the last 10 years. A big loss is Mike Lowell, third baseman, .279/.343/.467 lifetime hitter, and one of the best guys in baseball, who is recovering from hip surgery. He really wanted to play.
  
• Pitching: Behind Vazquez, it's kind of thin: Javier Lopez and Pedro Feliciano can contribute out of the bullpen, but with Ian Snell and Jonathan Sanchez 2-3 in the rotation, they'll need relievers more often than is convenient.
  
• Hitting: Soto was the 2008 NL Rookie of the Year and the starting catcher in the All-Star Game. Delgado is Delgado. Beltran and Rios add power. Mike Aviles came out of nowhere to hit .325/.354/.480 for the Royals last year and Felipe Lopez is also a decent hitter. They have legit major-leaguers at basically every spot, 1 through 9, and four of them need to be handled with care.
  
• Fielding: If Soto falters, then Yadier Molina, the best fielder among the Flying Molina Brothers, is solid behind the plate. Ivan Rodriguez is on the roster as well, although Soto is probably a better option to start. Lopez used to play shortstop but wasn't good, and Alex Cora should play there over Aviles. (Bernie Williams is apparently on the roster and should be kept away from an outfielder's glove.)
  
• Predicted Round 1 finish: Second-place behind the Dominicans, or first if they send Vazquez against them.
• Tournament potential: Maybe the semifinals if their pitching holds up. They can certainly ride their bats to Round 2.
  

PANAMA

• Opener: Saturday, March 7 vs. Puerto Rico (5 p.m.)
  
• WBC 2006: One of four teams to lose all three games, although they kept Puerto Rico within one and took Cuba to eleven innings. They were also memorably no-hit by 18-year-old Shairon Martis of the Netherlands in their final game.
• Player to watch: OF Carlos Lee (Astros)
  
• Who's missing: Mariano Rivera, possibly the best pitcher ever (you can make the argument)
  
• Pitching: Manuel Corpas is probably the best pitcher, but he rarely goes more than two innings. After him it's Manny Acosta, another reliever, and Bruce Chen, who could start but shouldn't. There are a remarkable number of A-ball players on this roster.
  
• Hitting: Carlos Lee and, um, Carlos Lee. Carlos Ruiz also has major-league experience. The president of Panama convinced him that they needed a catcher, but with a career OPS+ of 77, Ruiz won't cause opposing pitchers to pace nervously and talk to themselves (any more than they already do).
  
• Fielding: No clue. Lee's not great, that's all I can tell you.
  
• Predicted Round 1 finish: Third
  
• Tournament potential: They'd have to upset and/or kidnap somebody to get into Round 2.
  

NETHERLANDS

• Opener: Saturday, March 7 vs. Dominican Republic (11 a.m.)
  
• WBC 2006: Their only win was the aforementioned no-hitter over Panama.
  
• Players to watch: Sidney Ponson, I guess. Shairon Martis isn't listed on the roster this year. Randall Simon hasn't played in North America for a while but will forever be known for this:
  
  You know Letterman would be all over this, too.
  
• Who's missing: Martis, Jair Jurrjens, and Andruw Jones.
  
• Pitching: Sidney Ponson, I guess. Rick VandenHurk is #2 on a weak staff. Rick VandenHurk's career ERA is 7.
  
• Hitting: Former Ottawa Lynx outfielder Gene Kingsale is there, but don't get too excited.
• Fielding: I hope Sharlon Schoop gets a lot of playing time behind the plate, because his name is Sharlon Schoop.
  
• Predicted Round 1 finish: Fourth
• Tournament potential: Guess.
  

Snark break ...

As you were camping out for Spinal Tap tickets. The sustain, listen to it ... I don't hear anything ... well, you would if it were playing.

Miami's chances of getting a MLS expansion team are deader than Jefferey Loria's prospects of a new ballpark for the Florida Marlins. In other words, great day to be a soccer fan in Ottawa or Vancouver who rooted for the Expos way back when (there have to be a few).

Barry Bonds' case: Everyone realizes this will never make it to trial, right? It's only the U.S. Bill of Rights, who cares?

Vernon Wells has one of the worst contracts in baseball. Try not to look so surprised.

Nashville wants to host a NHL all-star game. You are only a year too late to make jokes that this would kill the NHL in Nashville for good.

Baltimore Ravens defensive back Anwar Phillips should foreclose so well when he's on the field. None of this has been proven in court, but who knew someone could sink lower than playing for the Ravens?

This post is worth nothing, but this is worth noting:

• Tiger Stadium in Detroit might yet be saved.
• Anyone who has spent time around Belleville, Ontario, knows about the old Memorial Arena, which people love because it has no protective glass and the lowest sideboards around. It's too bad, then, that some fan had to get hit in the head with a puck and spoil it for everyone else.
  
• Last, but not least, try to work "bonehead gangster" into conversation at some point today.
  
  
  
  

That's all for now.

Snark break ...

Roberto Alomar has a girlfriend, named Maripily Rivera. You can all relax now, shame on you for being uncomfortable. How about that Bears game last week? Helluva game, helluva game. Bears got a good team this year.

Don't worry. If you're looking out the window and a falling figure goes shooting past, it's probably just the Montreal Canadiens.

Aussie basketball legend Shane Heal is playing his final pro game Saturday. It means nothing, other than a chance to recall Zander Hollander's summation of Heal's one full season in the NBA, where he shot 26.8%: "Maybe the ball rotates differently in his hemisphere."

You are not alone in thinking the Globe & Mail and TSN are word-flogging the Olympics so badly that everyone will have five-ring fatigue before they even light the flame. Two columns in the same day from Stephen Brunt is more obvious than a three-dollar bill. (Granted, two Brunt columns are better than 200 from a lot of writers.)

Mike Wilner, Sun Media's Steve Simmons, in a brawl to settle it all. It has happen. Wilner noted last night that Simmons' suggession "that a distinction has to be made between (Alex) Rodriguez and (Barry) Bonds because Bonds 'abused' steroids, but Rodriguez only 'used' steroids ... might just be the most ridiculous thing that I have ever read."

And they say newspapers don't know their readers anymore. The Hamilton Spectator notes the Hammer's $94-million contribution to a stadium for the 2015 Pan-Am Games could buy "195 Tim Hortons franchises or 43,300,000 medium coffee and donut combinations."

It is ridiculous when college basketball coaches don't trust a player to stay on the court despite foul trouble.

More great moments in fantasy sports: Manu Ginobili scored 32 points against the Raptors, but missed the game-winning shot with 10 seconds left. The beauty of being a Canadian playing fantasy hoops is you can blame your team's record, if need be, on the TSN2 controversy. Granted, it hasn't hurt the other 11 owners in the Rockhard Fantasy League.

Last but not least: Try to get, "How was your time with the Unabomber?" into conversation at some point today.



This post is worth nothing, but this is worth noting:

• Toronto-area hoops hotshot Cory Joseph (Devoe's brother), who's playing high school ball down in Nevada, scored 20 points last night. He had a better night than fellow Canadian up-and-comer Tristan Thompson, who's been thrown off his New Jersey high school team.
  
• The Score has cancelled The Score In The Morning, the show that was co-hosted by good Kingston lad Adnan Virk and Nikki Reyes.
• Down Goes Brown has some random early 1990s Leafs playoff memories. Guy Hebert would be the goalie for the Pierre Garcon All-Stars (pro athletes with French names who aren't French-Canadian).

Fronts: Ten ways to be ahead of disturbing news

The grumbling has already begun at Save The Fronts, so it's best to be out front in case it becomes official.

Top 10 Things Kingston Frontenacs Owner Doug Springer Giving Larry Mavety A New Four-Year Contract Would Be Like ...

10. Hiring an arsonist to rebuild your house.

9. Putting Rod Blagojevich in charge of an ethics commission.

8. Hiring Bernie Madoff to work for your bank.

7. Having Christian Bale teach anger management classes.

6. Giving Lindsey Vonn a bartending job.

5. Having Joaquin Phoenix host a talk show.

4. Going to Mickey Rourke for career advice any time between 1990 and 2007.

3. Having Alex Rodriguez give polygraph tests.

2. Asking Brett Favre to help you make a tough decision.

And the No. 1 thing Kingston Frontenacs owner Doug Springer giving Larry Mavety a new four-year contract would be like...

1. Telling Kingston hockey fans to go to hell, even though they've been in one for a decade.

A commenter at STF put it best, "In last and the GM gets a new four-year deal? I mean he's only had 12 years to turn things around."

It has been 478 days since Doug Springer promised he would do "whatever it takes" to bring a winner to Kingston.

No Houston, no problem; consider it a challenge

There is much to be said for just watching sports on TV without reading about watching sports on TV.

Those who can manage that are ahead of the game. Chattering class types will no doubt feel some loss after getting something close to confirmation that William Houston is leaving The Globe & Mail after a 15-year run as its sports media critic (and before that, as a leader of the Ballard-bashing brigade in the '80s). It sort of flies in the face of the whole notion of invest in journalism or die.

No doubt a few people will say that this is latest harbinger of the death of media criticism, but that it too glib by half. Houston, who is apparently done Feb. 1, is owed an enormous debt of gratitude (the two books that he published about the Leafs in the '80s were an inspiration). By the same token, keep in mind that this is a Boomer, old media. There is an entire generation of journalists have come up knowing the media coverage of a sports event is part of the story, because they've learned from reading William Houston and others and know how to carry the illness forward. It's not so much about him leaving as it about someone else getting a well-earned chance.

Newspapers, if they're going to make it, have to shine their lights where radio and TV cannot. With regard to sports coverage, that includes a honest evaluation at how well they're doing at building and keeping an audience.

Written-word journalists are going to have to focus on increasing understanding or stimulating serious thought. Radio and TV already have the immediacy aspect covered off very well. They cover the games very, very well.

The question is whether the too concentrated-for-comfort Canadian media will see a need for sports media criticism. Along with Houston leaving The Globe, the Toronto Star had its sports media columnist, Chris Zelkovich on the CFL beat last summer, although he's still going strong with his Monday column (loved the line about Sidney Crosby being "as charismatic as a pylon.")

On the entertainment side, greater minds have pointed out that with all the cross-ownership, film/TV production bosses would rather have some functionally illiterate twitburger from eTalk Daily talk about their new movie than someone who betrays having a base of general knowledge.

A mature media culture needs critics, but if we lose that in Canada, it won't be for a lack of talent. The full of doom and gloom Boomers fail to realize, that it does no good to be negative. It's understandable to feel threatened. However, people born after 1973 are fully capable. They should think about what what David Letterman, said in late 2007 when a building was decided in his honour at Ball State University.

I am old media. I've done about as much as I can do. It's all up to everybody else.

That's David Letterman talking. Speaking personally, I look at Bucholtz and Kinger, and am blown away by the depth and range of their talents. There's no comparison between me at 21 or 22 years old and them.

It sucks to see the bottom line rule everything. It is hard to imagine The Globe without Houston, but there are a lot of hard to imagine things going on in the media industry. Hopefully, speaking as a complete outsider who works another media chain, hopefully someone will take on his beat, although it won't be easy.

Thanks again, Mr. Houston. Mahalo.

(Link via Cox Bloc.)

A reminder to enjoy every sandwich ...

Chris Lynch over A Large Regular just put up a post that was a reminder that the late Warren Zevon would have been 62 years old today.

There was a time back around 2000, 2001, through his death in September 2003, personally speaking, when Warren Zevon was a lifesaver. To each her/his own when it comes to music, but since Zevon had a couple sports songs -- eponymous odes to Bill Lee and the boxer Boom Boom Mancini, along with the hockey anthem Hit Somebody.

Warren might have only come to my attention since David Letterman was such a big fan and had him on Late Night and The Late Show so often. Maybe it's best just to share a few of his appearances with Dave:








The last Letterman appearance, Oct. 30, 2002:



All these years later, thanks again, Warren. Being down in Adelaide sipping Foster's in the shade sounds really good these days.

Another Buffalo football team Toronto can turn up its nose at...

Here's one for the too-funny-by-half files: The Buffalo Bulls are projected to play in the International Bowl at Rogers Centre next month.

This means Rogers will struggle to sell out the stadium for a another football game involving a Buffalo team with a fair-to-middling record.

The NFL Bills are 6-6 coming into Sunday's game vs. the Miami Dolphins. The Bulls, with ex-CFL QBs Turner Gill (pictured) and Danny Barrett as head coach and quarterbacks coach, respectively are 7-5, going in as heavy underdogs vs. Ball State in tonight's Mid-American Conference championship game. (Ball State is 12-0 and has an all-everything quarterback named Nate Davis, for anyone who hasn't watched proud alumnus David Letterman any time in the past few weeks, or read Jason Whitlock's epic takedown of the BCS and ESPN.)

This is going to come off shenanigans from a second guesser. Buffalo was on the shortlist of potential NCAA football teams for OOLF to clasp to its bosom (about that, seriously, Sager, join a gym). It was one hell of a post, but it just never progressed past the conceptual stage to the get-off-your-lazy-ass-and-write it stage. Part of the problem was the content had to wag the lede dog a bit. The first line was something like, "If this were written like a Lavalife ad, it would say, 'must be able to read Proust and a Tampa Two defence.' "

(To quote an older colleague: "Oh, you still don't think you're going to marry someone smarter than you, do you?")

It had got to the point where it seemed odd to have followed a brand of football for 20 years, getting caught up in the internecine hatred between rival teams, who's-No. 1 debates, Heisman hype, and BCS boondoggles without cheering for a specific team, or ever attending a game. Talk about geek love. But how could you have any moral high ground for razzing Notre Dame fans when you don't even have a team?

Plus, some big-time U.S. sportswriters -- Bill Simmons, Joe Posnanski -- during the past couple years have put out the call to readers to help them pick a soccer team to support. Poz, bless him, said for him it was about wanting to "feel international."

With all apologies to those better, more popular writers, how about actually being international? Supporting the Manchester I-Don't-Give-A-Craps or the London Not-A-Real-Sports does not make one any more worldly -- fact.

Clamouring to have a favourite college football team seemed a perfect protest of the weak. Everyone else wants feel international? I'll be parochial. This is the sporting analogue of Stewie Griffin hearing a banjo and exclaiming, "Mommy, I want a mullet."

Of course, this could never be as simple as picking one of the old-money powerhouses, or even an arriviste team such as Texas Tech. You can't pick a school such as Alabama or Southern California, not with what's known about the serfs of the turf.

A favourite college football team would have to represent a school with a modicum of academic integrity. That condition knocks off the whole Southeastern Conference except Vanderbilt. It would have to be a team which can compete for a championship of some kind on a regular basis. So much for Vanderbilt.

On and on it went over this season, following the "brain" schools every week to see how they fared. Northwestern is 9-3, but they're out for being in the Big Ten, which has ceased to be big or ten.

The same goes for the Minnesota Golden Gophers, who are in their first season with a new coaching staff, also held appeal (especially since the Vikings might end up being their co-tenants yet). Minnesota's coach, Tim Brewster, is also a big proponent of helping create opportunities for African-American coaches; he has more black assistant coaches than any other team in the country. Minnesota could also be struck for playing in a border state -- if Syracuse, Washington and Washington State's woes have taught us nothing, it's that the population demographics in the U.S. augur poorly for major-college teams in northern states.

The search went far and wide, even dipping down to the Football Championship Subdivision. How about Villanova, or Montana? A couple of Conference USA schools, Rice and Tulsa, which have Ottawa natives Tyler Holmes and Scott Mitchell as their starting left tackles, have also been on the radar screen. They both play wide-open football, are academically prestigious, but C-USA teams very rarely have their games beamed into Canada, which would make it tough, sorry, fellas.

Anyway, Buffalo had a lot of desirable qualities. As a MAC school, they'll never get anywhere near a BCS game. If this season's Ball State team can't, who can? That doesn't mean they're not worthy. Elliott Smith didn't need to have his songs on the Billboard Top 20, right?

The Bulls seemed like an appealing underdog team. Until last season, they had averaged about two wins a season since joining the NCAA's top division in 1999. As noted, their coach, Gill, used to play in the CFL. They even had a QB with two first names in senior Drew Willy.

Besides, if Toronto interests, or any interests, are going to steal Buffalo's NFL team, one should adopt the Bulls in solidarity with Western New York football fans. It's only right.

Anyway, to sum up, that post never got written, but all you are probably better off. Buffalo is also going to the International Bowl, and one wouldn't want to do it disservice by not promoting the hell out of it.

(Yours truly is spoken for in NCAA hoops but it was noted that the UB basketball team only lost by four against the No. 2 UConn Huskies last night. Carleton beat Buffalo by 10 back in August, by the way.)

Is their offence called the Beebe gun?

Don Beebe, who was part of all four Buffalo Bills Super Bowl losses in the early '90s, might finally win the big one.

Beebe is coaching the Aurora Christian Eagles in the Illinois 4A state championship game. As you know, Beebe made that famous play in the '93 Super Bowl, the Bills' third Super Bowl loss. It was 52-17 in the fourth quarter when Beebe chased down Leon Lett and knocked the ball out of his hand at the one-yard line to deny the the big Dallas Cowboys d-lineman a touchdown (and screw over everyone who had the "9-7" square in a Super Bowl final score pool). Now, why is this kismet?

Well, in the days afterward, every high school boy in North America who was taking gym that semester probably got the Don Beebe speech. The phys-ed teacher, God love her or him, would hold up Don Beebe's play on Leon Lett -- which ESPN, in its wisdom, so-called, has deemed the No. 1 sports blunder in history -- as an example of why you always hustle, never give up, and keep playing no matter what it says on the scoreboard. is perfectly kismet, then, that having been used as a pep-talk prop by so many moulders of young bodies and minds, that former Buffalo Bill Don Beebe is now coaching high school football.

Reading about Don Beebe is a bit of a reminder of what the NFL will lose when the Bills are liberated from Buffalo once and for all and put in Toronto (although at the rate those tickets aren't selling for the Dec. 7 game, don't be so sure). At the high school level, as our estimable commenter Dennis Prouse noted in a post from a couple months ago back about another high school football team named the Eagles, it really is about the game itself.

That vibe is all but gone from the NFL, except in Green Bay and Buffalo, where the lowest ticket prices in the NFL, lake-effect weather and the, uh, vagaries of the Western New York economy contributes to the sense that it's all about the game.

The Bills, at least looking back from the remove of 15 years, were always about those players whom the real fan could appreciate. They had talent and All-Pros, for sure, but Beebe was one of a number of lunch-bucket guys who was just a football player, not a physical freak, although he was pretty damn fast for a Caucasian. (Just imagine the replica jersey sales if he had ended up with the New England Patriots, oh, about 12-15 years later.)

There was Beebe from Chadron State, wherever that is, the free safety Mark Kelso with his Gazoo helmet was from William & Mary, and the special teams dynamo Steve Tasker. Even Andre Reed, the great receiver, came from a Division 2 school. Thurman Thomas was a second-round draft choice. The Bills, under Bill Polian, always found hidden gems. That's football.

True, Marv Levy was David Letterman Top 1o list fodder after four Super Bowl losses. Who can forget "Top Ten Things Buffalo Bills coach Marv Levy said at halftime"? ("Number six -- 'Hey, Kelly. Leave some champagne for everyone else!' ")

Levy, though, was whip-smart. You knew he was because he'd coached in the CFL in the days before teams had 6-8 assistant coaches, so you had to know the fundamentals of every position. He had coached special teams. The Bills' epic comeback against the Houston Oilers in January 1993 was pure Marv, the professor masterminding it all, but giving the class the chalk. Another coach might have pulled that off, coming back from 32 points down with the starting quarterback and running back each out of the game, but Marv actually did.



Seriously, that short kickoff that Bills recover at the 1:50 mark of the clip below, that's football. Brains and brass balls. It's not Joe Buck talking about the Jonas Brothers' halftime performance.

That is what the NFL is becoming, and that is the teat the Toronto interests want to suckle at as they embark on the Long Transition with the Bills. Well, they're not going to find football no matter how much he or she puts on the expense account for the privilege to to sit indoors at Rogers Centre for the Dolphins-Bills game on Dec. 7.

You want football, from afar it's an ex-Bill coaching together with one of his brothers at a high school in Illinois. That sounds all right.

Related:
Oh, brother: Beebes have ACS on roll (Kane County Chronicle)