Thursday, February 12, 2009

Fronts: Ten ways to be ahead of disturbing news

The grumbling has already begun at Save The Fronts, so it's best to be out front in case it becomes official.

Top 10 Things Kingston Frontenacs Owner Doug Springer Giving Larry Mavety A New Four-Year Contract Would Be Like ...

10. Hiring an arsonist to rebuild your house.

9. Putting Rod Blagojevich in charge of an ethics commission.

8. Hiring Bernie Madoff to work for your bank.

7. Having Christian Bale teach anger management classes.

6. Giving Lindsey Vonn a bartending job.

5. Having Joaquin Phoenix host a talk show.

4. Going to Mickey Rourke for career advice any time between 1990 and 2007.

3. Having Alex Rodriguez give polygraph tests.

2. Asking Brett Favre to help you make a tough decision.

And the No. 1 thing Kingston Frontenacs owner Doug Springer giving Larry Mavety a new four-year contract would be like...

1. Telling Kingston hockey fans to go to hell, even though they've been in one for a decade.

A commenter at STF put it best, "In last and the GM gets a new four-year deal? I mean he's only had 12 years to turn things around."

It has been 478 days since Doug Springer promised he would do "whatever it takes" to bring a winner to Kingston.


Andrew Bucholtz said...

Fantastic list. #9 is my favourite.

kinger said...

And #10 was my idea, and thus the best.

I'll have to recount this on the radio show tomorrow... just got to get a rimshot sound effect and canned laughter sound effect.