Snark break ...

• NBC's Olympic coverage had the best Saturday-night audience since, wait for it, a 1990 episode of the sitcom Empty Nest.
  
  Sadly, the guy who made that show, David Leisure, wasn't able to pop the champagne the way the 1972 Miami Dolphins do when the last unbeaten NFL team loses. He figured he shouldn't drink on the job until he's done his probationary period at Outback Steakhouse.
  
• Notre Dame fans probably aren't too upset that Forbes rated Charlie Weis as the third-most overpaid coach in college football. They know the Irish are always higher in the rankings than they should be -- especially in August.
  
• It was nice to see that Jays GM J.P. Ricciardi got out to Fenway Park on Saturday and Sunday to watch his favourite team play. It's just too bad the Red Sox lost both games.
  
• It's one thing for Asian women to dominate the LPGA, but who knew that there was a top golf official in Canada named On Too Long?
  
  The guy who presented the trophy at the Canadian Women's Open might still be talking.
  
• That guy who was killed at a firing range at the West Edmonton Mall? To rip off a line from late, great Bill Hicks, "I don't think we lost the cancer cure."
  
• It's understandable to not have any room for gray areas with Michael Vick, but after reading about how he's been ripped off, it's hard not to feel empathy.
  
• Last but not least, it's a bringdown to get an e-mail with " to in the out find and line subject Twins? Football SEC of Playboy pulchritude, but this still tickled the giggly.

(Wow, making fun of David Leisure's career arc and pointing out that there's the occasional stuffed shirt to be found in golf? As Bart Simpson once said of Mad magazine, "They don't care whose toes they step on." Seriously, NBC is KATN in the ratings.)

Snark Break...

Has anyone noticed that pop-up ad on Sportsnet's website that temporarily covers up all the content on the page? It's kind of an improvement, isn't it?

Burned-out Experienced journalists know that there are stories that can be recycled every year and you have just have to change the name and dates. "Miami Dolphins desperately seeking starting quarterback at training camp" is one of 'em.

From Al Michaels on NBC last night: "It would be easier to access Amnesty International's website from downtown Beijing than get a 100% accurate NFL injury report." (Incidentally, here's what Amnesty International has to say about China.)

The Blue Jays' Double-A team hit back-to-back-to-back homers yesterday. Don't worry, though, J.P. Ricciardi has already released all three players for their brazen display of a long-ball power.

Forty-one world swimming records have been broken in the past year. It's all because of those hi-tech swimsuits. Sure it is.

One take on this whole "starting at shortskirt, Erin Andrews" kerfuffle: Never trust a species that can't stand the site of its own skin. (It's especially hilarious that the writers of sites that dress up posts with pictures of hot women "just because" think they have the right to judge.)

The Sporting News college football preview has projected Central Michigan and Cincinnati to meet in the International Bowl in Toronto in January. If it was Eastern Michigan (it's in Ypsilanti — so much fun to say!), then maybe people would start getting excited.

Remember Puck Daddy's Gary Bettman art contest? Here's all 230 entries.

It's good to know someone else has discovered the secret pleasure of listening to the Southern-fried FIBA.com announcer.


http://view.break.com/548664 - Watch more free videos

(Link via The World of Isaac.)

Evening snark break ...

While you were getting your old roommate put on the Terrorist Watch List ... that'll teach him to drink the last beer.

Apparently J.P. Ricciardi thinks Stubby Clapp is a STD. It's great that the Jays kind of screwed over Canada's Olympic baseball team by promoting Scott Richmond to the majors. It lets you say whatever you want to say.

There's an upside to it if evidence of bird flu is found at the site of the Olympic equestrian events — maybe it gets the event out of the Games, for good. Don't worry about bird flu keeping Ian Millar from competing in his ninth Olympics — he'll only be 65 in 2012.

It must be great to be a Canadian player in the WNBA like Tammy Sutton-Brown. Due to the Olympic break, you get an extra two weeks of holidays.

The Rapidz are having "Break The Attendance Record Presented By East Side Mario's" on Aug. 4. Does that mean everyone gets unlimited bread and salad? (No one outside Ontario is going to get that; but hey, no joke is too obscure that it won't eventually find an audience.)

Don't ask how this came to our attention (the things you have to do on the sports desk), but there's actually a youth soccer player named Taylor Kidd — the same name as a boulevard in Kingston.

Zen Dayley: It is possible we haven't seen Kevin Wench's black magic?

Five wins in a row, but...

What was that about how other teams' good moves can be seized upon to criticize Godcciardi, almost by rote?

It's safe to say that the combination of the Blue Jays GM's stubborn loyalty to his guys and Rogers Communications' habit of conspicuous consumption would never allow for a move like the Cleveland Indians' trade of overrated Casey Blake to the NL West-contending L.A. Dodgers for two minor leaguers. Eating the salary of a regular in order to get two players the casual fans wouldn't even know how to find information on? That never happens in Ted Rogers' neighbourhood, even if one of them (a catcher named Carlos Santana) does share his name with a famous rock guitarist.

It's hard not to feel a sense of envy that Cleveland, under GM Mark Shapiro, is thinking for itself instead of being slave to Toronto sports fan groupthink.

(Update: Fire Joe Morgan, by the way, has destroyed the trade from a Dodgers perspective.)

Cleveland's been closer to winning something of consequence with the group it has (93 wins in 2005, seven-game loss in the ALCS last season). They're willing to gut the place and renovate. J.P. Ricciardi would rather go shopping for some second-hand furniture -- proven hitters, he wrote, with disgust -- than take a chance on someone with room to grow.

Carlos Santana is an athlete-first, ballplayer-second who might end up being great for a team who can carry a defensive catcher. (He's hitting .323/.431/.563 in the California League, but it's his third year of Single-A ball.) The right-hander, Jonathan Meloan, has a power arm, even though his potential is obscured by his 4.97 ERA in the high-scoring Pacific Coast League.

The Jays, though, they like their low ceilings, even when they need to renovate. Maybe Molean and Santana might not amount to anything. Still, it means feeling jealous of the fans in Cleveland. It's come to that.

Errata

• Our man Andy Grabia at The Battle of Alberta had a nice post about the World Junior Baseball Championship, which opened last night in Edmonton. It probably won't get 1/100th of the media attention given to the World Junior Hockey team's summer development camp (which won't even decide who makes the team!), but there are several future major leaguers playing in the event, including Milwaukee Brewers first-rounder Brett Lawrie. Canada opened with a 7-0 win over Italy last night. It gets a little more serious tonight vs. Taipei.
  
  (Canada can do no better than fifth at the World University championship in the Czech Republic. That's too bad.)
• Ichiro Suzuki is 1-for-10 vs. the Jays (he got a single his last time up today to avoid taking the collar two days in a row). That 3,000th hit might not come in Toronto.

Damn, the Jays

• Dustin McGowan is going to have season-ending surgery next week.
• Drunk Jays Fans reports that there was a Vernon Wells sighting at the MLS All-Star Game. Perhaps he will be the Obama-like force who finally effects a truce between baseball nuts and footy fans.

Zen Dayley: Mr. 3000, with Japanese subtitles

Well, there's one reason to check out a Mariners-Jays series where neither of the Toronto club's top two starters are pitching.*

Ichiro Suzuki needs five hits for 3,000 in his career (a feat yours truly jumped the gun on back in '07 after a tragic misreading of his Baseball Cube page). You might have misgivings about why why broadcasters and journalists persist in making a big deal out of someone's hit total when the batting title goes to the player with the highest average, or why MLB doesn't swing with the times and do what it should have done a long time ago, which is recognize the player with the highest on-base percentage as the batting champ.

(Hey, college football, which is the most tradition-mongering sport going, used to recognize the player who gained the most yards on the season as its rushing leader. Then they changed it to yards per game. The world, remarkably, stayed on its axis.)

Ichiro's feat is a jumping-off point for a discussion. Should it be treated the same as if he had played his whole career on one side of the Pacific, instead of spending his first nine seasons in the Pacific League? How well do us North American folk do at comprehending a player whose career was spread over two continents, or included a stint in the "other league"? Like the kids say on Facebook, "it's complicated."

It's not the same, because is isn't the same. The ballparks in Japan are smaller and its brand of baseball offers a lower level of competition, so even considering the shorter season (140 games instead of one-sixty-two) how can this be put on the same level?

By the same token, though, it is the same. Ichiro was a major-league ballplayer when he was leading his Japanese league in hitting for seven straight seasons before joining the Mariners in 2001. He was simply kept out of the American majors by circumstances beyond his control. This was only 10 years ago, but it wasn't so long ago that baseball people, quote, unquote, were largely skeptical that a Japanese position player could make it in the major leagues. There was a little xenophobia going on there. It's either that or they did believe it, but couldn't convince the highers-up that it was worth the expense to find out. The Japanese players also had little incentive to test themselves across the water and their teams -- it was probably a pride thing -- weren't anxious to let them leave. Ichiro had fortunate circumstances -- his team was hard-up for money, and didn't want him going to another team and beating him.

The point is, though, there has to be some acknowledgement that if Ichiro had been in North America earlier or from the get-go, he would be well on pace for 3,000 MLB hits.

Cultural differences. North American journalists still have some work to do when it comes to properly appreciating a player. It's still mind-boggling that people who should have known better got their hackles up when Igor Larionov, the great Russian centre, was selected for the Hockey Hall of Fame last month. It seemed pretty cut-and-dried.

Consider the following: Mike Bossy was a hands-down, no-doubt Hall of Famer in hockey, based on what he did from 1977 to '88 with the New York Islanders, who as you know, won four straight Stanley Cups. Larionov was a key cog in another hockey juggernaut, the Soviet national team, for roughly the same span. He was one of the best players on what was one of the most powerful hockey teams in the world -- just like Bossy.

Bossy had to retire young due to back problems. Larionov, once he'd managed to get out from under the thumb of Viktor Tikhonov and the old Soviet sport system, managed to come to North America and fashion a nice career as a role player, first as Pavel Bure's setup man with the Canucks and as a checking centre with the three Red Wings' Stanley Cup winners. He more or less had Mike Bossy's career -- in terms of length and impact -- and then had someone else's career. But, oh no, since the better part of it came in the old Soviet Union, it didn't count. As far as some are concerned, it was if he only began playing real hockey when he joined the Canucks in 1989.

That's absurd. It's ridiculous to believe what Ichiro did before 2001 doesn't count. It's a matter of what degree it's discounted -- and it's more like 5%, 10% than 70-75%.

(* That's assuming A.J. Burnett doesn't once again display his lack of guts and grittitude by working on three days' rest again.)

Errata

• The great Greg Maddux hasn't received credit for a win since May 10.
• One more reason to get on the anti-Cubs bandwagon: They called up right-hander Jeff Samardzija, the former (grits teeth) Notre Dame football star. The blogosphere is already roiled up enough about the huge Wrigley Field love-in that will ensue if the Cubbies make the playoffs. No one needs the prospect of Samardzija's former quarterback, the much-resented Brady Quinn, showing up in the stands wearing a Cubs jersey.
  
  Guess what? The Cleveland Browns' bye week in the NFL coincides with the first week of the baseball playoffs. You can't make that up.
• The Hardball Times has a look at the only previous AL team that went from worst to first.

Damn, the Jays

• ShysterBall has a note, "Yesterday lots of folks were reporting that the Jays were shopping (Roy) Halladay. Late in the day the Jays denied it. If I had to guess, they are shopping him, as any team in their position should be given the kinds of returns teams are getting for starters this year. (CC) Sabathia, (Rich) Harden, and (Erik) Bedard all brought back value, and given how well Sabathia has pitched in particular, you can bet that there are some teams out there thinking about how to get the same kind of magic on their side."
  
  It's kind of come to the point with the Jays that you can read something positive about a baseball team's front office and then turn it around on Godcciardi. They would rather squeeze an 83-79 season out of this bunch than attempt anything radical.
• Baseball America has provided the latest look at the Jays bright hitting hope, Travis Snider. He's now hitting .259/.343/.453 for New Hampshire, which for a 20-year-old in the Eastern League, is serious stuff. (Thanks to Pete Toms for the tip.)
• The same site also has some tidbits on lefty-hitting Double-A second baseman Scott Campbell (on-base machine, somewhat dodgy defence) and the first-round draft choice, first baseman David Cooper, who's been tearing the cover off the ball in the Midwest League -- and hasn't been involved in any bench-clearing brawls yet.

Zen Dayley: Jumping into the second half

It's getting more likely A.J. Burnett and Jays fans are going to be forced to share the same space, a lot like Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly in the upcoming Stepbrothers.

There are two ways to spin the Phillies swinging a trade with Oakland for starting pitcher Joe Blanton. One is that this means the Jays are going to be stuck with Burnett for the rest of the season. The second is that leaves him as the only prized pitching rental out there and, well, the L.A. Dodgers, with their .500 record, have a NL West title that's easily there for the taking.

The best uneducated guess is that the Dodgers want to stay in-house for any pitching help, even if that meant putting 20-year-old phenom Clayton Kershaw (one hit, no runs over five in Double-A last night) back in their rotation in the heat of a playoff race. Plus, Burnett might not be worth it when 84 is all it's gonna take to win that division.

In other words, Pete Toms was right about a week and a half ago when reckoned that the Jays were likely to be stuck with Burnett. Twelve million dollars for a pitcher isn't that steep these days.

Not to do too much of "this happened in sports and here's what I think about," but what were the Phillies thinkng? When the first adjective used to a describe a pitcher is "durable," it usually means he isn't exactly a prize Guernsey. Blanton, an innings-eater if there ever was one, had a 4.96 ERA pitching for Oakland, where fly balls go to get damp with mist. He also benefited from pitching in a park that has vast foul territory, since he doesn't have strike out many guys. Now he's going to one of the best hitter's parks in the game, which also has tight foul lines. (For his career, Blanton has a 3.79 ERA in Oaktown, a run higher, 4.78, everywhere else.)

(Seriously, it's OK to go see Stepbrothers, even ithough Ferrell and C. Reilly should have moved beyond this Adam McKay popular schlock after Talladega Nights. Even-numbered years are good for summer movies that you shouldn't laugh at but do -- 2006 had Accepted; '04 was Euro Trip and Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle.)

Also on the Jays...

• Roberto Alomar's eponymous website won't be complete unless he adds clips from his old McCain's Fruit Punch commercials... Catch the taste!
• Roy Halladay cleared the air over Groundhog-gate. You can go right ahead and suspect that someone was pulling the strings a bit.
• The Drunks have basically concluded that Paul Godfrey yesterday came as close to saying J.P. Ricciardi was gone after this year as he could without saying the magic words.
• Anyone want to take bets on when catching prospect J.P. Arencibia will draw his first walk in Double-A? He's at 96 at-bats and counting without a base on balls.
• Congratulations go to a fellow Kingstonian, Sun Media baseball writer Bob Elliott (formerly based in Ottawa once upon a time, too), for being a finalist to go into the writers' wing of the Hall of Fame next year. It's probably far-fetched that he'll go in the same year as Tim Raines, whose career he covered.

Other business

• Try not to laugh when you read the District Council in Washington might hike the sales tax on all items sold at a stadium that already cost $611 million US in taxpayers' money.
• Let's all have a good laugh at the wannabes trying to claim Barry Bonds is going to sign with the Yankees. Then wonder what New York picking up Richie Sexson and his .218/.315/.381 statline does for Bonds' charges of collusion.
• A Lynx diaspora update: Left-hander J.A. Happ, who was here last season, threw no-hit ball for seven innings, striking out 12, to get the win for Lehigh Valley last night. Double bonus: It was against the Yankees' Triple-A team. Happ could be back up in Philly again soon.

First they trade Burnett; then they lose the Doc

"I don't know if move on, but I want to play for a team that can win a World Series. That's the one thing I really want to accomplish in the rest of my time, is win a World Series…I've got two years to decide That's still a ways off for me, but I definitely want to keep moving in the right direction and I hope we do in these next two years. I'd like to get something accomplished and then after that, readjust and see where we're at."

--Roy Halladay

Anyone want to lay money that he re-signs in two years? Halladay doesn't strike one as a guy that speaks out (however subtle it may be) without serious thought behind it. That he would refuse to issue a tired cliche when about his future with the Jays is telling. He's practically screaming from the hilltops -- get me a winning team or watch me come back in pinstripes ('cause, really ... who else will be able to afford him).

It's difficult to see how the Jays can restructure themselves into a winner in the two years that Halladay has left. J.P. Ricciardi has hitched the team's fortunes to a core that doesn't have a ton of trade value and doesn't seem quite good enough by half.

Unless you think the Jays are going to go 47-20 the rest of the way (what they would need to do to get to the 94-win total that the average AL wild-card team has had since its inception), or you think a No. 4 hitter suddenly going to fall from the sky, you might want to make sure you get down to the Dome every five days or so for the next couple months. You never realize how good you have things until you lose them after all.

I'm not about to look it up, but I'm pretty sure that last time the Jays went 47-20 they were winning World Series. Since that doesn't seem likely, it's vital that something be done with the assets they have to trade now. And, there is no bigger asset than A.J. Burnett. A lot of people like to suggest that the Jays would be better off keeping him and collecting the draft picks they will receive when he opts out of his contract at year's end. I'm sorry, but two compensation picks aren't going to cut it with Burnett. And since keeping him is next to useless (again -- 47-20. Show me evidence that the Jays could go 47-20 and I'll listen), it's pretty clear that he needs to be moved. If Ricciardi is as good as he thinks he is, he needs to find a position player that will contribute to the team in 2009 or sooner.

He better, because his job likely depends on it.

(Update: As for the story about the topless woman in one of the Rogers Centre hotel rooms, could everyone try to act like they've seen bare breasts before? Jeebus.)

BTW - the title is a bad Leonard Cohen reference in case you were confused...

Jays are better with ripostes than with RISP

Jays GM J.P. Ricciardi, much as some people can't stand his act, does have a quick wit sometimes.

A caller from the East Coast was joshing Ricciardi during the FAN 590 post-game show tonight about Matt Stairs of Fredericton, New Brunswick, not playing. Ricciardi shot back, "'Send some of that Schooner Beer down here, we'll play him more."

The Godcciardi haters who know their East Coast beers might point out that any GM worth his BlackBerry would have at least demanded some Clancy's Amber Ale.

The caller then offered up the kind of well-reasoned suggestion JaysTalk are renowned for -- "B.J. Ryan is useless, try Matt Stairs pitching." Ricciardi retorted, "We'll play him at all nine positions tomorrow, bye now."

Ricciardi might be a dick, but if the Jays were 54-37 instead of 44-47, people wouldn't care one way or another.

(For you Ontario readers, voting has begun for the Golden Tap Awards. Go Steam Whistle!)

They play baseball in Toronto?

"My job is to have expectations. And our expectation is that this team is not as bad as it has played, and hopefully we'll play a little better. Does that mean we're going to be a playoff team? No, chances are probably not good that way. But that doesn't mean we can't hold out hope that we can play better."
J.P. Ricciardi

Checking calender...yep...it's July 9. At least I'll likely get out and enjoy the rest of the summer, what with me not needing to worry about a Jays pennant drive.

Remember when the Jays mattered? When you looked forward to September baseball in Toronto?

No, me either.

If I did, I might point out how surreal it is to go down to the SkyDome nowadays. First, it looks like my cable bill. Second it's more than half empty. Third, someone has replaced the team on the field with something that resembles the, I don't know, Royals.

It's depressing. Head down there on a Tuesday night and the most entertaining thing to watch is the teenagers trying to sneak booze into the $2 seats. This is the most successful marketing initiative of the past couple seasons--turning the unused upper deck seats into an underage nightclub. That and powder blue uniforms every Friday.

Remember when winning was the attraction--never mind,we've already established that you don't. But, maybe you've heard of those days when 50,000 people came every night and scalpers tried to sell you 500-level tickets for $100 to watch Seattle on a Tuesday in April. Belgians and Bostonians (one, in particular) took that away from us. Now, the team that we used to take for granted (so I've heard) as always to be in contention has become an organization that mails it in...

On July freakin' 9.