UP AT 6: WHO NEEDS FICTION, BESIDES LEAFS NATION

The stuff to get obsessive over, if only there was time ...

• The Toronto Maple Leafs won't go away. Mirtle figures it would take a 9-1 record to get in the post-season. That's where the discussion ought to end, no?
• Stephen Colbert portrays a hockey announcer in The Love Guru; but wouldn't he have trouble telling the teams apart because he doesn't see colour?
• Mike (Awesome) Wilner has some interesting stuff on the track record of pitchers coming back from a torn labrum in the wake of the news about the Jays' Casey Janssen. It's not encouraging.
• Stephen Brunt's tribute to J.I. Albrecht is a must-read.
• Quite the scandal in upstate New York: No, not Eliot Spitzer -- talking about Syracuse getting blown out by 19 points in the first round of the Big East tournament.

(Yes, it appears Up at 6 is back, after an absence of many months.)

WHAT IS THIS 'SHWA YOU SPEAK OF?

Had to laugh during last night's Colbert Report when Stephen Colbert talked about "Oshawa, or as I call it, the 'Shwa." Yes, Stephen, you and everyone else from Toronto to Kingston...

COLBERT NEEDS A ROAD MAP!

Stephen Colbert's researchers are apparently are showing the strain of propping him up... on last night's Colbert Report he commented upon Oshawa's Stephen Colbert Day by saying the city's civic motto, "Prepare To Be Amazed" had replaced "You Missed The Turnoff For Burlington."Shouldn't that be Ajax or Pickering?

On balance, though, had to laugh at hell at Colbert's, "Bold, innovative, vibrant…. None of these words have ever been applied to Oshawa." Something else that doesn't apply to Oshawa is having a hockey team that will advance past the first round of the playoffs.

Related:
Oshawa serves up silliness (Canada.com)

AND NO, WE DON'T MEAN JACK LAYTON...

It's Stephen Colbert Day in Oshawa, as per the agreement of a bet that the Colbert Report host made with the city's mayor over a Generals-Saginaw Spirit Ontario Hockey League game.

Stephen Colbert himself, isn't making the trip. The gut feeling is that if Colbert's knowledge of Canada is anything like that of the right-wing talk show hosts he parodies, he thinks Oshawa and Ottawa are one and the same -- and he knows which one of his sworn enemies lives in Ottawa.

KINGSTON ALWAYS HAS HAD A GOOD CAPACITY FOR FARCE...

Remember that Simpsons episode where some rich Germans buy the nuclear power plant?

"We regret to announce the following employee layoffs, which I will read in alphabetical order: Simpson, Homer. That is all."

That's what happened to your truly's hometown of Kingston, Ontario yesterday. If you watched the Canadian cable sports networks last night, you might have seen a junior hockey item on the ticker:

"London Knights, Kitchener Rangers, Oshawa Generals, Saginaw Spirit and Sarnia Sting approved to make bids for the 2008 Memorial Cup."

Kingston's bid got the boot and everyone else got approved. This is like getting an envelope with Ed McMahon's picture on it and a message, NOT EVEN CLOSE!

Kitchener and London have hosted the last two Memorial Cups played in OHL cities and those cities' bids were approved. Saginaw, Mich., got into the bidding late and may be doing this as a test run for a serious bid in 2011 (the OHL would love to take the tournament to a U.S. market), and it got approved. Kingston gets zero, zip, nada, bupkes. Oh, well, there's always the Kingston Canadian Film Festival!

Whatever the how and why, this is a pretty good piss-take on a town which does have a pretty good capacity for farce. It is weird how Kingston sold more than 5,000 deposits on ticket packages and Saginaw didn't sell any, but that kind of political wrangling is beside the point.

Kingston hockey fans, though, can take quite a bit -- there was that 28-game losing streak back in '87-88 -- and life will go on. There are worse things than living in a city which has a good capacity for farce, and if you can laugh at it, it only makes you stronger.

As for the opponents of the downtown arena who claimed it would not be an economic engine, well, everyone who put down a deposit on the 2008 bid will soon have an extra 25 bucks in their pocket. Take that.

This is the third wicked burn on Kingston this week that has involved London, Ont., and it's only Wednesday. Not only did the league-leading Knights lance the Fronts pretty good on Sunday, 6-2, but they denied Kingston from being the only OHL team with the rare distinction of having two left-handed goalies. London correspondent Tim J. Rowland points out that the Knights also have a pair of backwards backstops, Steve Mason and Stephane Cesar (who's from Gatineau), thereby stripping the Fronts of their uniqueness.

Damn you, London. Just you wait until the Queen's Golden Gaels spoil the Western Mustangs' football home opener on Sept. 3.

By the way, anyone think Stephen Colbert might have had a hand in taking the Frontenacs out of the running? Just kidding. But not really.

Related:
Ready To Drop The Gloves With Stephen Colbert (Feb. 13)

That's all for now. Send your thoughts to neatesager@yahoo.ca.

READY TO DROP THE GLOVES WITH STEPHEN COLBERT, PART 2

That was very clever of Stephen Colbert, the way he has danced around the pre-emptive strike fired here a couple weeks ago.

See, Colbert -- or more to the point, his writing staff which prop him up, since it's generally suspected he's just Sonny to their Cher, Bush to their Cheney, Ringo to their rest of The Beatles -- -- was warned off making fun of this blog's beloved hometown hockey team, Kingston Frontenacs. The Frontenacs are bidding against The Colbert Report host's darlings of the shinny set, the Saginaw Spirit, to host the 2008 Memorial Cup (Canada's major junior hockey championship).

So what are Colbert -- and that crack writing staff whom many people may suspect act as the rest of the 2006 Chicago Bears to his Rex Grossman -- doing about this? They've turned their admittedly sharp satirical needle to other teams that are near and dear to Out of Left Field. On last night's Report, Colbert fulminated that his namesake mascot with Saginaw, Steagle Colbeagle the Eagle (top picture), only finished second (in actuality, it was only a honourable mention) when gameops.com picked the Best Mascot of 2006.

The fledgling fowl -- so fledgling that taking Maggie Simpson-like tumbles on the ice has become part of Steagle's act -- was edged out for top spot by the Toronto Raptors cleverly monikered mascot, The Raptor (second pic). There's no shame in coming second to The Raptor; there's probably a little in being a honourable mention alongside Raymond, the mascot for the Tampa Bay Devil Rays. Nevertheless, instead of seeing the rookie mascot's runner-up showing as something to crow about, it stuck in Colbert's craw.

Colbert called for his On Notice Board, only to realize that the Raptors have been on notice since January 2006, when they "could only stand helpless as Takeru Kobayashi downed 81 hot dogs to set a modern day record."* (Hey, if you ever saw Rafael Araujo play during his two years as the Raptors' answer to the accidental tourist, you would consider the ability to "stand helpless" a virtue.)

That left Colbert only one option -- the Raptors were placed on the Dead To Me board.

The deep-down suspicion is this has little to do with The Raptor's awesomeness and everything to do with the Colbertites lashing out since their hands have been tied from making fun of the Kingston Frontenacs. As possible proof, before the Raptors were put on the Dead To Me board, Colbert shuffled through a box full of placards, reading out loud, "Toronto Blue Jays, Toronto Maple Leafs" -- not coincidentally also teams which are near and dear to Out of Left Field.

Who are they going to come after next? The Syracuse Orange since overexuberant fans stormed the court following Monday's win over Georgetown, as if it was 1984 and Patrick Ewing was playing for the Hoyas, rather than his son? The Minnesota Vikings for going 6-10? The Queen's football team since they wear yellow and call themselves Gaels? It could all be a coincidence, but putting the Raptors on the Dead To Me board can only be considered as a thinly veiled attempt to antagonize this author.

This aggression cannot stand, but to quote Vince Vaughn's character in Old School, "This guy is playing hardball, and I have to admit, I'm kind of impressed."

Previous:
Ready To Drop The Gloves With Stephen Colbert (Feb. 13)

(* Actually there was only one hot dog involved in that infamous night. Hint: He used to play with Shaq.)

That's all for now. Send your thoughts to neatesager@yahoo.ca.

HOCKEY TODAY... TOUGH ALL OVER FOR FRONTS, 67'S

OK, that's the Kingston Frontenacs we know -- outscored 11-4 over a weekend road trip with 45-plus shots allowed in each game, and no doubt, a very long bus ride back to the Limestone City.

To be fair, it was the odds-on Ontario Hockey League champions, the London Knights on Saturday night (5-2 on David Meckler's mortarboard trick). That was followed by a quick turnaround to play an afternoon game Sunday, which the Fronts lost 6-2 against, wait for it, the Saginaw Spirit.

So the Frontenacs may hear about this shellacking from the world's most famous faux fan of the Saginaw Spirit, Stephen Colbert of The Colbert Report. Just remember, Mr. Colbert -- or more to the point, the writers and researchers who prop you up -- the Frontenacs are not to be trifled with. You've been warned, remember. The job of tweaking the Frontenacs should kept to someone who's a local, but doesn't live in Kingston anymore -- and judging by the fact that schmozzle over replacing the dilapidated Memorial Centre is descending into new depths of farce, that's probably for the best. (Short synopsis: There's a motion before Kingston city council which could kill the arena project on Tuesday.)

67's WINLESS WEEKEND

The Fronts' hold on sixth place and a first-round playoff matchup vs. the Mississauga IceDogs intact. The Ottawa 67's were none too Swift themselves, losing their fifth in a row, 6-3 to those same IceDogs on an otherwise nice day at the Civic Centre.

Michael Swift had a hat trick for the IceDogs on a Murphy's Law kind of day for Ottawa, who played just well enough to lose. The topper came when Mississauga's Jordan Owens scored with the IceDogs playing two men short -- this happens like never -- to deflate the 67's after a brief rally earlier in the third period.

Maybe a butterfly flapped its wings in Malaysia and that caused the puck to skip by Julian Demers at the point and give the IceDogs' Mark Pietrangelo a gift rush that led to Owens' shortie, or this is a very fragile hockey team. Getting scored on while playing 5-on-3 -- even though it did make it seem kind of apt that 67's power plays are sponsored by a sanitation company -- doesn't happen in a vacuum.

It was like that all day for Ottawa: Cody Lindsay fanned in close moments before Swift opened the scoring (and got his second 35 seconds later) late in the first. When it was 2-1, IceDogs goalie Andrew Loverock (44 saves) got just enough of Brett Liscomb's wrister on a 2-on-1 to deflect it over the net, and the IceDogs came right back up the ice and scored. The 67's took 11 shots in the second before 'Sauga took one, but when the visitors finally got a puck on the net, it went in.

Throw in Tyler Cuma being knocked out of the game thanks to a dirty hit by 'Sauga's Jadran Beljo (who was thrown out the game), a Zamboni driver circling back twice during the first intermission to cover a patch of ice he'd missed and still failing to get all of it and Ottawa's Joe Grimaldi trying to start a fight in the all-but-the-crying stage and knocked down by the linesman, and it added up to a long day for the Barberpoles. One positive: Brian Kilrea switched up the lines between periods and put Mathieu Methot between Jamie McGinn and Matt Lahey, and the trio clicked for two goals before that backbreaking 5-on-3 goal.

Another highlight was the between-periods game between five- and six-year-old kids. Both of goaltenders staked out the same net and made a byline for it, slamming into each other like two 40-pound bull elephants. Good times.

NHL Scoreboard

Related:
Ready To Drop The Gloves With Stephen Colbert (Feb. 13)

That's all for now. Send your thoughts to neatesager@yahoo.ca.

READY TO DROP THE GLOVES WITH STEPHEN COLBERT

The showdown for who will host the 2008 Memorial Cup isn't between six Ontario Hockey League clubs who filed bids last week. No, it is between a pair of egomaniacal pundits who each mispronounce and/or misspell their names.

Colbert Report host Stephen Colbert (that's col-BARE) has taken no small amount of credit for the Saginaw Spirit's success. However, the Comedy Central personality has another think coming if he mocks a certain team bidding against the Spirit for the '08 Mem Cup. That would be the Kingston Frontenacs, hometown team of yours truly, Neate Sager (first name pronounced Nate, which is also how any normal person would spell it).

This storm has been gathering since Oct. 15, the Spirit flattened the Fronts 8-2 at the venerable old Kingston Memorial Centre and Colbert later crowed, "I don't know what a Frontenac is, but I think it's French for 'bend over and take it.' " Subsequently, he chided the Spirit's marketing people, calling them "the Kingston Frontenacs of merchandising."

Sorry, Mr. Colbert, but no one, but no one gets away with talking about the Kingston Frontenacs that way. That is, unless you actually have spent time in Kingston and are versed in the team's tragicomic track record. Here's a short primer: One first-place finish in thirty-three seasons and no trips to the league final, while being stuck with an ancient arena. Don't even get us started on Count Frontenac.

I've followed the team from afar for a lot of that time, so just imagine what it's like for the true believers who actually go to the games.

Granted, everyone had a good laugh when Colbert rallied the Colbert Nation crazies to throw copies of GM's annual report on the ice during a game last month against the Oshawa Generals (who should get the '08 Mem Cup, but that's neither here nor there). It was semi-halfway awe-inspiring that people even drove as much as 1,100 miles round-trip to do so.

However, Colbert may be about to find out how hockey works, especially the brass-knuckles world of junior hockey. He's new to all this. He only discovered the Spirit last summer when his writing staff did an Internet search for things that could be named after him and stumbled onto Saginaw's name-the-mini-mascot contest. At Colbert's prodding, the Nation flooded the broadband ballot box and the mini-mascot was named Steagle Colbeagle the Eagle (bottom picture).

In reality, Colbert is way out of his element. Does involving the Spirit in a few comedy sketches really hold a candle to the heartfelt hometown passion that I have built up over 20-plus winters of following Kingston junior teams? We're talking about two decades of first bleeding Canadians red, blue and white, then Raiders black and silver, and since 1989, Fronts black and gold, following Kingston's ups and downs from near and afar, even if I don't always make it to a game every season. (Sometimes the pain is just too much -- from blinding hangovers, not the Frontenacs struggling.)
One can't speak for all Kingston fans, but we've swallowed quite a bit over the years, so Mr. Colbert, you better take heed. Sure, the Fronts' chances of being selected host of next year's Canadian major junior hockey championship are average at best, and you might be better served to focus your satirical needle on Oshawa since you already have a running thing with their city. However, our hearts are pure, and you can't lay on glove on us, so back off.

The selection committee will make its pick and we'll live with it, but long-suffering Fronts fans have earned a chance to witness a redemptive shot at junior hockey glory, deserve it in the worst way. They are not to be tweaked.

So, Stephen Colbert, consider this a pre-emptive strike fired from a one-bedroom apartment in Ottawa. If you diss Kingston's quest to host the 2008 Memorial Cup, you're risking a blogging beatdown equivalent to what happens in hockey when you take extra liberties with the other team's star player. Simply put, good sir, you are cruisin' for a bruisin'. I am fully prepared to act like Dave Semenko riding shotgun to Kingston's Wayne Gretzky, so long as it doesn't involve leaving my apartment. That's The Code for bloggers, so to speak.

When it comes to being made sport of by hockey-dilettante cable-TV hosts, you should know that we Frontenacs fans are like an ornery bear -- and we all know your feelings toward bears.

SAGINAW/STEPHEN COLBERT vs. KINGSTON/NEATE SAGER

Stephen Colbert: Has had great success playing a right-winger on TV.
Neate Sager: Had great success playing a left-winger -- if by "great success" you mean "third-line forward on his high school hockey team."

Colbert: Early career included working as a script consultant.
Sager: Early career included writing other people's English and history papers for extra cash.

Colbert: Notorious for displays of hubris.
Sager: Once notorious for hitting strip of Kingston bars called "the Hub."

Colbert: Teaches Sunday school.
Sager: There's a Sunday morning now?

Colbert: As a teen, loved to play Dungeons & Dragons.
Sager: As a teen, once played Earl Weaver Baseball for 16 hours straight on parents' Tandy computer (hey, an adolescent boy will do anything to keep his hands busy).

Colbert: Won three Emmys for writing while on The Daily Show.
Sager: Included in "Notable Sports Writing of 2004" in The Best American Sports Writing 2005. Conspiracy theorists take note: Who was the guest editor of the BASW 2005 who passed over Sager's work in making the final selections? Mike Lupica -- whom Colbert has had as a guest. Dunh dunh dahhhhhhh.

So to sum up, the Saginaw Spirit have Stephen Colbert, whose show is a cultural phenomenon, who has a far bigger soapbox and vast legions of loyal fans. The champion of the Kingston Frontenacs' cause is Neate Sager, a guy blogging from his one-bedroom apartment who isn't even well known enough to be called an obscure writer.

Some would say this stacks up as a slaughter. However, Frontenacs fans are quite used to being on the wrong side of mismatches, so it holds no terror for them.

That's all for now. Send your thoughts to neatesager@yahoo.ca. Here's the mainpage.

LATE-AFTERNOON LINKS...

• How crazy is the love-in between Stephen Colbert and the Saginaw Spirit? A reader shares:

"I drove my daughter and 2 of her friends 550 miles from Virginia to throw GM annual reports on the ice. We were the copy in the plastic bag and the one held with a binder clip that went everywhere. A good time was had by all."

Here's the original post -- the campaign started in August, not September.

• Apologies in advance to Chicago fans (some of my best friends are...), the hope here remains that Da Bears have a good showing in the Super Bowl, but Sports Illustrated's Michael Silver articulated what a lot of people feel: "They were the biggest underachievers in NFL history."

• Just saw this on the wire: Kingston Frontenacs coach Bruce Cassidy and players Peter Stevens and Justin Wallingford and forwards Kyle Bochek and Bobby Bolt are suspended for their part in last Saturday's gong show in Bellevegas, pending a hearing following tomorrow's game vs. the Sound Attack.

• Lastly, if you can find it in your heart and wallet, support CFRC, Kingston's campus/community radio station.

HOCKEY LAST NIGHT: THE 'SHWA EATS CROW

Some Saginaw Spirit fans took up Stephen Colbert's suggestion to litter the ice with copies of General Motors' annual report after their team's first goal, as the Spirit beat the Oshawa Generals 5-4 last night. It got a little hectic since the phenom, John Tavares, scored late to cut the lead to a goal, but Saginaw hung on.

That means Oshawa Mayor John Gray may have to spend his birthday, March 20, hosting the Colbert Report host on Stephen Colbert Day in the city after issuing this counter-challenge. Hey, no one said Oshawans don't have a sense of humour. When you hail from the 'Shwa, having a sense of humour is a survival skill.

Oh, the NHL is back from the all-star snooze-a-thon... it's going to take a couple days to get back into it. (Part 2 of the rant is coming.)

Penguins 4 Stars 3 (shootout): Mark Recchi gets his 500th goal, but Sidney Crosby can't join him for a celebratory drink afterward. (Via Mirtle.)

Sharks 5 Oilers 1: Edmonton's had a lot of nights like this lately, so it seems.

NHL Scoreboard

Today's better games: Bruins-Senators, 3 (Team Mud is off, for now); Leafs-Habs, 7; Kings-Oilers, 10.

HOMETOWN BREAKDOWN

A classic jerkass Peterborough move was the spur for the Frontenacs to rally for a 4-3 overtime win last night in K-town. Kingston had been completely stymied (again) by Petes goalie Trevor Cann and trailed 3-0 midway through the third when Zack Harnden checked one of our boys from behind, which of course required valiant captain Chris Stewart (pictured) to straighten out the A-hole. Harnden was tossed, Stewart, the conquering hero, went off for fighting the Fronts scored on the ensuing power play, then got two more to tie the game. Stewart then popped the winner past Cann in OT. Not a bad way to start a weekend that includes visits to Belleville and Mississauga, the teams ahead of Kingston in the divison.

The Fronts are just three points behind fifth-place Sudbury, although with this team, it's just a question of when the hot streak will end and how hard they're going to fall.

Amherstview, Ont.'s own Andrew Fournier scored twice in the Plymouth Whalers' 4-1 win over the Ottawa 67's. With Saginaw-s Colbertastic win, both of the OHL's Michigan-based teams were doing the Fronts' bidding last night.

That's all for now. Send your thoughts to neatesager@yahoo.ca.

HOCKEY LAST NIGHT: COLBERT NOT SO HUMBLY ACCEPTS 'SHWA MAYOR'S WAGER

The latest in the Stephen Colbert-Saginaw Spirit saga: Oshawa Mayor John Gray has made a wager with the sarcastic pundit on the Generals' Jan. 26 game in Saginaw -- if the Generals beat the Spirit next Friday, Colbert will wear an Oshawa sweater during an upcoming episode of The Colbert Report. Colbert has graciously accepted.

We'll wait and see if anyone takes Colbert's suggestion to throw copies of GM's third-quarter earnings statement on the ice next Friday in retaliation for Oshawa fans' teddy bear toss during a game against Saginaw back on Dec. 17.

Here's the clip that started the row with Oshawa, in case you haven't seen it:



Sabres 4 Canucks 3 (shootout): And Vancouver still hasn't won a game that Roberto Luongo didn't play in, after the Sabres played desperate and tied it on Chris Drury's goal with 39 ticks left before winning in the shootout. Seven of eight points for the Canucks on their eastern swing, although you wonder if they're for real.

Flames 3 Ducks 2: Anaheim's lead in the Pacific Division is down four points -- and the Sharks have three games in hand. That sort of puts a damper on Andy McDonald -- the one-time Ernestown Township minor hockey player -- being added to the Western Conference all-star squad.

NHL Scoreboard

Today's better games: Leafs-Penguins, 7; Team Mud-Bruins, 7; Sabres-Habs, 7; Flames-Oilers, 10.

Headlines: No one's saying much about the Penguins' meeting with Pa. governor Ed Rendell; NHL considers fines for players who alter uniforms -- is this part of Gary Bettman's "NFL on Ice" plan? Canadian women's team spices up camp with a 4-on-4 tournament (don't giving the NHL any ideas);

HOMETOWN BREAKDOWN

Both the 67's and Frontenacs won, taking over sixth and seventh spot in the OHL's Eastern Conference heading into Sunday's game at the Civic Centre. Ottawa goalie Brady Morrison extended his eerie Kingston voodoo to another division rival, shutting out Peterborough 4-0. At the Mem Centre in Kingston, Fronts captain Chris Stewart not only had a goal yesterday in a 4-1 win over Brampton, but was the subject of a feature on Sportsnet.ca. Good on him.

Lastly, in response to Sportsnet's Jim Lang's blog post (so-called), no one in the NHL today hits like the hockey player's hockey player from Kelvington, S-A-S-K, number 17, Wendel Clark.

This is not up for debate.




That's all for now. Send your thoughts to neatesager@yahoo.ca.

COLBERT REPORT IN HOCKEY SPIRIT UPDATE

Only caught the tailend of it, but Stephen Colbert was chiding the Ontario Hockey League's Oshawa Generals during an episode of Colbert Report that aired last night, making light of the city's job losses in the auto industry by brandishing a copy of General Motors' latest quarterly report: "That shiny new arena they just built for you may have to be stripped for parts."

Colbert referred to Oshawa fans littering the ice with teddy bears during a game against his beloved Saginaw Spirit and gave fans a link to where they can print out GM's quarterly report and throw it on the ice against Oshawa -- "not that I'm suggesting Saginaw Spirit fans do that during their game against the Oshawa Generals on January 26."

Yes, but Colbert will never top his zinger on our Kingston Frontenacs -- "I don't know what a Frontenac is, but I believe it's French for 'bend over and take it.' "

Related: ColbertNation.com

WHY WE KEEP COMING BACK

Kingston Whig-Standard sports editor Claude Scilley's look back at 2006 contained the following gem:

"On Oct.15 the Saginaw Spirit spanks the Frontenacs 8-1 at the Memorial Centre. The debacle catches the eye of Stephen Colbert, satirical host of a program on the U.S. cable network Comedy Central. Colbert quips that he doesn’t know what a Frontenac is, 'but I think it's French for bend over and take it.' The Frontenacs become a whipping boy for Colbert, who later chastizes the pedestrian selection of souvenirs offered on the Saginaw website by calling the Spirit 'the Kingston Frontenacs of merchandising.' "

Hey, this is what keeps one coming back to the Frontenacs, the Toronto Maple Leafs, the Toronto Raptors, the Minnesota Vikings and all the other teams in one's life that are year-in year-out disappointing (that includes you, Blue Jays -- both those World Series never should have gone six games). When -- not if -- they finally do win, it's going to be like the final scene of The 40-Year-Old Virgin, with everyone spontaneously breaking into song and dance.

STEAGLE COLBEAGLE THE EAGLE UPDATE; AND DELGADO'S BIG PLAYOFF DEBUT

Colbert Nation has posted the pics of Steagle Colbeagle the Eagle, the Saginaw Spirit junior hockey club's new mini-mascot.

Missed it since yours truly was busier than a one-armed paperhanger finishing the NHL previews, but apparently Stephen Colbert used his bully pulpit to address the Spirit last night, pointing out that they are not only representing the city of Saginaw, and mid-Michigan, but him as well. Their next home game happens to be against the Ottawa 67's, so their star left wing, Jamie McGinn (the same one who helped beat my Frontenacs last Sunday), apparently came in for a mention. It's not every day a junior hockey player gets his name mentioned on a basic cable comedy show.

BASEBALL PLAYOFFS

• Blue Jays fans saw plenty of that from Carlos Delgado during his nine seasons as a Jays regular -- especially the way he went the other way with outside pitches. He did just that twice today on his way to a 4-for-5, two-run, two-RBI day in the Mets' 6-5 win over the Dodgers, putting the Mets ahead for good with an opposite-field single in the bottom of the seventh. By the way, even with Eric Gagné and Pedro Martinez sidelined, this series isn't lacking in Canadian flavour. The Mets have two ex-Jays in their lineup -- Delgado and Shawn Green, while the Dodgers have Jeff Kent at second base and East York, Ont.'s Russell Martin as their starting catcher. Oh, and ESPN's dugout reporter, David Amber, used to work for TSN.
• What were the odds the Minnesota Twins, 55-26 at home in the regular season, would drop two straight games at the Metrodome?

Related:
Say Hello To... Steagle Colbeagle the Eagle (Oct. 1)
Colbert Report in Hockey Spirit (Sept. 29)
A Paradise Lost Kind of Feeling: Carlos Comes Back To Toronto (June 23)

There'll be period-by-period updates from the Leafs-Senators game, assuming the pre-game ceremonies ever finish. Just kidding. If you don't feel some chill bumps listening to Red Kelly's speech, you're probably not alive.

SAY HELLO TO.... STEAGLE COLBEAGLE THE EAGLE

Say hello to Steagle Colbeagle the Eagle, the new Colbert Report-themed mini-mascot of the Saginaw Spirit junior hockey club. Hopefully there'll be a picture somewhere soon. This is probably one of the most exciting things to happen in mid-Michigan for quite some time, but then again... it's mid-Michigan.

At long last, the name was unveiled last night during the Spirit's 5-3 Ontario Hockey League victory over the Windsor Spitfires. Quoth the team website:

"The night also saw the unveiling of the newest Spirit mascot, Steagle Colbeagle the Eagle! The mascot made its first public appearance prior to the start of the game, following a message to Spirit fans from Stephen Colbert, host of Comedy Central's Colbert Report. The unveiling ceremony was taped for a latter nationally televised showing on the Report for a tentative date of October 2nd. The Report broadcasts Monday through Thursday on Comedy Central at 11:30 PM ET."

Sure, as one of my faithful readers puts it, maybe it's true Colbert "only gets people to laugh by not talking for 10 seconds so there is an awkward pause."

Maybe so, maybe not, but to those among us who say Colbert is funnier than his lead-in, Jon Stewart on The Daily Show, let's remember Stewart's show has stayed fresh and funny for nearly a decade, and Colbert's only been on for about 10 months. Let's see how long Stephen's schtick endures. Probably longer than yours will, Sager.

And that's the word.

Related:
Spirit Celebrate 5-3 Victory with Steagle Colbeagle the Eagle (Saginaw Spirit website)
Colbert Report In Hockey Spirit (Sept. 29)
Ain't That The Truthiness (Aug. 21)

OK, now I'm off to watch some OHL hockey. Send your thoughts to neatesager@yahoo.ca.

COLBERT REPORT IN HOCKEY SPIRIT

Back in mid-August, there was the story of Stephen Colbert of the Colbert Report encouraging his fans to vote in a e-mail poll to name the new mini-mascot of the Ontario Hockey League's Saginaw Spirit.

Well, the burgeoning Colbert Nation came through -- the Spirit mini-mascot is going to have some sort of Colbert-related name. It will be unveiled during Saturday's night game against the Windsor Spitfires, where there will also be a special message from the Colbert Report.

Oh, and all the silliness will be shown on Monday's edition of the Report. And that's the word.

Previous:
Ain't That The Truthiness (Aug. 21)

Back with more later. Send your thoughts to neatesager@yahoo.ca.

AIN'T THAT THE TRUTHINESS: THE COLBERT REPORT GETS IN THE HOCKEY SPIRIT

The expanding Colbert Nation has now expanded to include the Ontario Hockey League.

Missed this, but during a sketch last week, Stephen Colbert of the Colbert Report (those of you in the know are aware that the T's are not to be pronounced) made an on-air plea to the OHL's Saginaw Spirit to name the club's new American Eagle mini-mascot after him (Sugars Mascots' artist's rendering at right) in a poll on the team's website.

Apparently Colbert loved the team's crest and colours, which after all, are proudly Mega-American.

"I say we name this new eagle mascot 'Colbert' or 'The Colb-Eagle.' And, Saginaw Spirit, you can't buy this kind of publicity. Actually, you can, and my rates... very attractive."

Team managing partner Rick Goslin told the Detroit Free Press last Friday that Colbert was "hands-down" the leader in the name-the-mascot poll. Entries can be sent to contests@saginawspirit.com.

It's not surprising that Stephen Colbert would have an infinity for Michigan sports teams rather than, say, those from its neighbour, the great state of Illinois. After all, he is afraid of Bears.

Related:
ColbertNation.com (fan site)
Sugars Mascots (that's their art)
Saginaw Spirit official website
Comedy Central gives pub to Spirit (Detroit Free Press)

That's all for now. Send your thoughts to neatesager@yahoo.ca.

FOOKING BRILLIANT

39 years ago today, the Leafs won their last Stanley Cup. And people howled that they couldn't believe the playoffs were now carrying into May. On with the show:

Daily Kos has the transcript of Stephen Colbert tearing the Bush White House a new one at the correspondents' dinner. Gems include but are not limited to:

• "Somebody pinch me. You know what? I'm a pretty sound sleeper -- that may not be enough. Somebody shoot me in the face. Is he really not here tonight? Dammit. The one guy who could have helped."
• 'By the way, Senator McCain, it's so wonderful to see you coming back into the Republican fold. I have a summer house in South Carolina; look me up when you go to speak at Bob Jones University."
• "Sir, pay no attention to the people who say the glass is half empty, because 32% means it's 2/3 empty. There's still some liquid in that glass is my point, but I wouldn't drink it. The last third is usually backwash."
• "Fox News gives you both sides of every story: the president's side, and the vice president's side."

Thanks to Greg for directing me. Now here's sports:

NHL PLAYOFFS DAY 11

• OILERS 4 RED WINGS 3 (Edmonton wins 4-2): Huzzah for the fooking brilliant Oilers! Too bad they couldn't have dragged it to a Game 7 back in Dee-troit, thereby prompting Mitch Albom to do his once-a-year column on hockey. That makes the big winners in this series Dwayne Roloson, Craig MacTavish and the entire Detroit Free Press readership. Did the Oilers really erase two Red Wings leads in the third period? Did they really win after trailing with five minutes left? Yea gods. And yes, this will be Stevie Y's last game. Confession: I passed on this to go see The Rocket at the theatre. I regret nothing. Any movie where you see L.A. Kings meathead Sean Avery (who is cast against type as a New York Rangers meathead) get punched in the face three times is cheap at twice the price.
• DUCKS 2 FLAMES 1 (Series tied 3-3): So, if Anaheim wins on Wednesday, fifth seed San Jose will have home-ice advantage for the second and third rounds. My one comment here is this has been a hard series to get into unless you have friends or family employed by either team. Sure, it's intense, but at some point there has to be some freakin' offence. Fittingly, Anaheim's winning goal was actually scored by Calgary d-man Rhett Warrener, who had Scott Niedermayer's centring pass deflect off his leg and into the net. Prediction for Game 7: First goal wins. Calgary's the better team, but you would figure they would have proved it by now and finished off Anaheim. Still, I stand by the Flames on goaltending and experience.

DAY 12 LOOK AHEAD

• 7 p.m., 'CANES AT HABS (Carolina leads 3-2): The Canadiens are DUI. I mean DOA. I always get those two mixed up. Cam Ward is the story of the series, and so are the Habs forwards who haven't challenged the young 'Canes netminder. The Habs look every bit like a beaten bunch.
• 7 p.m., SABRES AT FLYERS (Buffalo leads 3-2): Two words: young legs. Buffalo's got 'em. Philly, not so much. I doubt any team's won a playoff series where it allowed the first goal in every game, which is what Philly has done so far. Buffalo's ready to finish this off tonight, let's say with a 4-2 win. Bank it.

OTHER BUSINESS

• How about those Blue Jays? Troy Glaus goes yard twice in a 9-7 win over the Orioles. They look to sweep tonight when Casey Janssen makes his second big-league start against Anna Benson's husband.
• Question: are the people snapping up Reggie Bush No. 5 New Orleans Saints jerseys doing so because they figure they'll have a collector's item when the NFL makes their predictable ruling that he has to conform to the league's numbering system? They haven't bent the rule for anyone, and I doubt they ever will.

See you after the games tonight.