HOMETOWN BREAKDOWN: FRONTENACS MUST ADD SOME 'JAM' TO SHOPPING LIST

More from the "Do you mean funny, 'Ha-ha?' or funny 'a living nightmare?' " department.

Well, Ottawa 67's goalie Brady Morrison, an ex-Front, got a measure of revenge on his old team by stopping 30-some shots this afternoon earlier today in a 4-1 romp over the Kingston Frontenacs.

In short, the Fronts are in no risk of losing that distinctive Kingston personality; they gave up a goal on the game's first shift and were never really in it all, as the CHL's No .2-ranked team finished the weekend with just one point in a pair of games against division rivals.

Cue the Little River Band: Have you heard about the Lonesome Loser? Go out for the afternoon to eliminate being tempted to watch a hometown team get whupped on national television (my Queen's Golden Gaels lost 37-5 to McMaster in university football action), only to see another hometown team get whupped in person. Nice.

Oh, and the Vikings lost to the freakin' Bills? Don't even want to talk about that.

In lieu of serious analysis...

• Attending a junior hockey game, by myself, at age 29, was a prompt to take a MILF Count (an old time-passer originated in a previous life as a small-town sportswriter who covered an endless string of junior hockey and high school games). There were only 2 in the vicinity.
• One of the 67's promotions involves tossing out sandwiches from a certain restaurant chain. This is great since food that's thrown to you from more than 30 feet away has no calories, but what if it's not your favourite kind of sub?
• This only happens to me: At the Second Cup afterward, the barista dropped my change in my coffee. They replaced the coffee -- but not the change. I may need that 40 cents tomorrow.

The Frontes look like a talented team -- six players have been drafted by the NHL -- but had no jam to speak of today. You could count on one hand how many battles for the pucks they won along the boards in the first period, when they were outshot 19-8 and fell behind 3-0. They didn't draw a power play until the game was 27 minutes old, since they didn't force Ottawa to have to take penalties to keep them from threatening around the net.

Once Ottawa got they, played the defensive system Al Strachan has immortalized as the Playing-Card Five -- pack the area between the net and the top of the faceoff circles with players, so all the opposition can get is point shots with no chance of a tip-in or rebound shot. It's boring to watch, presumably boring to play, but it is effective.

Kingston's goalie, Daryl Borden, played well in defeat, making 37 saves and stopping Ottawa's Thomas Kiriakou on a penalty shot.

Related:
Hometown Breakdown: The Surging Tide That Is The Kingston Frontenacs (Sept. 22)

Back with more later. Send your thoughts to neatesager@yahoo.ca.