KINGSTON ALWAYS HAS HAD A GOOD CAPACITY FOR FARCE...

Remember that Simpsons episode where some rich Germans buy the nuclear power plant?

"We regret to announce the following employee layoffs, which I will read in alphabetical order: Simpson, Homer. That is all."

That's what happened to your truly's hometown of Kingston, Ontario yesterday. If you watched the Canadian cable sports networks last night, you might have seen a junior hockey item on the ticker:

"London Knights, Kitchener Rangers, Oshawa Generals, Saginaw Spirit and Sarnia Sting approved to make bids for the 2008 Memorial Cup."

Kingston's bid got the boot and everyone else got approved. This is like getting an envelope with Ed McMahon's picture on it and a message, NOT EVEN CLOSE!

Kitchener and London have hosted the last two Memorial Cups played in OHL cities and those cities' bids were approved. Saginaw, Mich., got into the bidding late and may be doing this as a test run for a serious bid in 2011 (the OHL would love to take the tournament to a U.S. market), and it got approved. Kingston gets zero, zip, nada, bupkes. Oh, well, there's always the Kingston Canadian Film Festival!

Whatever the how and why, this is a pretty good piss-take on a town which does have a pretty good capacity for farce. It is weird how Kingston sold more than 5,000 deposits on ticket packages and Saginaw didn't sell any, but that kind of political wrangling is beside the point.

Kingston hockey fans, though, can take quite a bit -- there was that 28-game losing streak back in '87-88 -- and life will go on. There are worse things than living in a city which has a good capacity for farce, and if you can laugh at it, it only makes you stronger.

As for the opponents of the downtown arena who claimed it would not be an economic engine, well, everyone who put down a deposit on the 2008 bid will soon have an extra 25 bucks in their pocket. Take that.

This is the third wicked burn on Kingston this week that has involved London, Ont., and it's only Wednesday. Not only did the league-leading Knights lance the Fronts pretty good on Sunday, 6-2, but they denied Kingston from being the only OHL team with the rare distinction of having two left-handed goalies. London correspondent Tim J. Rowland points out that the Knights also have a pair of backwards backstops, Steve Mason and Stephane Cesar (who's from Gatineau), thereby stripping the Fronts of their uniqueness.

Damn you, London. Just you wait until the Queen's Golden Gaels spoil the Western Mustangs' football home opener on Sept. 3.

By the way, anyone think Stephen Colbert might have had a hand in taking the Frontenacs out of the running? Just kidding. But not really.

Related:
Ready To Drop The Gloves With Stephen Colbert (Feb. 13)

That's all for now. Send your thoughts to neatesager@yahoo.ca.