BATTER UP: ARIZONA DIAMONDBACKS

Counting down the seconds till Opening Day when life begins anew involves providing a "starting nine" of obscure trivia, fun facts, high points and low moments for all 29 major-league teams, and if there's time, the Tampa Bay Devil Rays too! Presenting: The Arizona Diamondbacks.

1. Toodle-oo, turquoise: The Diamondbacks have ditched purple, copper and turquoise for big boy colours of red and black. Except they couldn't just say red, it's "Sedona red." Ooooooh.
   
   Reaction to the uniform change has been largely negative and rightly so. The old colours were ugly to outsiders, but were native to the southwestern United States. The Diamondbacks owned their ugliness, which is kind of appropriate for a team whose most promiment player has been Randy Johnson.
   
   Own your ugliness. Isn't that a more positive message to spread to the young youth today than telling everyone he to conform and adopt colours similar to winning teams such as the Arizona Cardinals and Chicago Blackhawks?
2. They grew up too fast. The Diamondbacks went to the playoffs in their second season and won the World Series in their fourth, and then regressed into expansion growing pains. Cue a 111-loss season in 2004, followed by a return to respectability the past two seasons (76 and 77 wins).
3. They'll go .500, but are not the '06 Tigers. Detroit went from a 119-loss season to a pennant in three years. The D-Backs were in similar straits three years ago when Johnson's Cy Young-worthy season was all that stood between them and 120 losses.
   
   The raw material should produce about 85 wins. Aaron Gleeman has said "If you’re looking for a sleeper team, look no further." Almost any baseball geek will tell you that first baseman Conor Jackson, shortstop Stephen Drew and centre-fielder Chris Young are can't-miss prospects. The starting staff is what it is. The Big Unit's back is deteriorating fast and Brandon Webb still seems fairly unknown despite winning the Cy Young Award last season. Livan Hernandez and lefty Doug Davis (top picture, duh) eat up innings and that's enough. If the bullpen can keep the blown saves in the 20-25 range, they have a chance to be halfway decent.

4. Laughing time is over. No more jokes about how the Diamondbacks are almost the best baseball team in the Phoenix metropolitian area -- right after Arizona State. One-liners about how the best pitcher in the organization is reliever Casey Daigle's smokin-hot missus, U.S. softball star Jennie Finch, are also out this spring.
   
   The D-Backs are to be taken seriously. Seriously. Point No. 4 was was just an excuse to get in a picture of Jennie Finch, anyways.
5. Retro Cool D-Back: There isn't one. The franchise only began play in 1998. With the exception of the O-Dog, they have pretty much been a bunch of lamewads.
6. No, the other Tony Peña. Pitcher Tony Peña, who may end up getting a shot at the closer's job, played under the name Adrian Rosario during his first couple pro seasons. Apparently he wanted to be confused with the two other Tony Peñas in baseball.
7. That must have been one randy johnson. During the 2001 World Series, a D-Backs fan apparently held up a sign: "Nine Yanks Can't Beat Our Johnson."
8. Leading off.... Nick Nolte. With guys such as outfielder Eric Byrnes -- shown here appearing on ESPN with some Hall of Fame bedhead -- the Diamondbacks appear to be breaking new ground in cultural sensitivity. Clearly, Byrnes' hairdon't is an effort to reach out to the yahoo contingent across the Great American Southwest. Sorry for seguing into that from Jennie Finch.
9. Need-to-know: Beyond The Boxscore points out that Arizona's big question will be how much faith it puts in Drew, Jackson, Young, kid catcher Chris Snyder and corner outfielder Carlos Quentin. If Byrnes and Hudson open the season as leadoff hitters, it's a bad sign since neither of those two get on base enough, despite their reputation for being scrappy hustle types.

That's all for now. Send your thoughts to neatesager@yahoo.ca.