He's hung out the gone drinkin' sign, sir ...

Note to our users: Sager is travelling to the Ontario University Athletics' sports information directors' meeting, so posting might be light(er than usual) today.

Meantime, read Stephen Brunt's take on Jim Balsillie losing the court fight for the Phoenix Coyotes and wonder whether the NHL can get a Popemobile for Gary Bettman to use when he next visits Canada ... ponder how in the hell a labour union can support Quebecor's bid for the Montreal Canadiens when that company has locked out its employees at Montreal's biggest French-language paper ... cheer for Canada's junior men's basketball team, coached by Greg Francis of Toronto, winning a tournament in France last weekend even though Canadian hoops hostshots Tristan Thompson and Cory Joseph were playing for the U.S. side (which everyone seems cool with) ... last but not least, you heard right, Brett Favre used the term "we" when talking about his potential role in the Minnesota Vikings: "They do have a great running back, a great running game. If I go there, there are no guarantees. We all know that. I went through that last year with New York. I think every player should think that he is a difference-maker. I think you have to believe that. But in that situation, understanding what is expected of you, knowing your team, knowing that as long as we can run the ball and complete passes when needed, we should be pretty good." May God have mercy on us all.

Hoserdome 2009: Playoffs, Day 9ish

Forget the NHL for one sec ... how about Mike Murphy stopping 56 in double OT to extend the Belleville Bulls' season? And the Kingston Voyageurs are one win from a spot in the RBC Cup.

1. Not to be fatalistic about it, but Joe Thornton gives good coup de grace. Giving away the puck on the play that became Corey Perry's clinching goal Anaheim's 4-0 win over the somnambulant Sharks was perfect.
   
   It's so dire in San Jose that local columnists are revisiting the choice to draft Pat Falloon ahead of some guy named Scott Niedermayer back in 1991 with the No. 2 overall choice. The rationale was that they were going to take a defenceman in the second round, if that makes sense. (No.)
2. It was a rush hearing that Bob Gainey come about as close as a NHL GM ever will to channeling Jay Billington Bulworth. He aired out the Tampa Bay Lightning, defended Carey Price for acting like a 22-year-old (which he is). It was great. Nothing loosens someone's tongue like the vision of an ax flashing at the top of its arc, eh? When in doubt, blame the media and fans for Montreal losing 253 man-games to injury this season.
3. Game 5 of Carolina-New Jersey is the best game not enough people saw (guilty as charged). Fast-paced, up and down, minimal extra-curriculars after the whistle, hockey for art's sake.
   
4. If you really think about it, the Columbus Blue Jackets' beef makes sense. The referees will let everything go, but they always call a too-many-men penalty just because it's in the rulebook.
5. Sens Chirp is fanning the flames of Jason Spezza trade speculation again.

Anaheim leads San Jose 3-1 — This one is over like The Office, but kudos to Hockey Night in Canada's Scott Oake for some nice work during the 14-minute delay in the second period after a glass panel shattered. Oake had a report covering off the Ducks' non-sellout (1,000 empty seats) that managed not to attribute it to the recession or Angelenos' disinterest in hockey, noting

When play resumed, only one team realized it and that's that. Incidentally, Anaheim rookie Bobby Ryan has four goals in the playoffs; it's too bad for im the playoffs aren't factored into Calder Trophy voting (it's going to Steve Mason, right?).

Detroit sweeps Columbus 4-0 — The Blue Jackets at least went out on a semi-halfway positive note, forcing Detroit to win a rare 6-5 post-season game.

New Jersey leads Carolina 3-2 — Apparently it was something else, with the old master, Martin Brodeur, being just a smidge better than Cam Ward, who's still young but three years removed from being playoff MVP. Going the full seven seemed to be a likelihood.

Pittsburgh leads Philadelphia 3-2 — It's showings like Pittsburgh's that give credence to the old saw about the fourth win being the hardest one to get in a series. It was a dreary enough game to prompt flipping to an early-season Blue Jays telecast (not that they aren't a treat, but the standard practice is TV muted with the radio broadcast on).

The other series:

New York leads Washington 3-1 — Less than 10 per cent of teams come back from a 3-1 deficit, and the Capitals' chances pretty much rest on whether Mike Green snaps to after being slowed down by the flu. If he recovers, they can win.

Calgary, Chicago tied 2-2 — The question has become whether Calgary still has anyone left to play, with three regulars getting by on pills and needles and Andre Roy suspended for Game 5.

The next question is whether Miikka Kiprusoff, 2009, can steal a playoff game.

Hoserdome 2009: Day 8ish

A promise that can go on a certificate suitable for framing ... try to be more regular.

1. Jarome Iginla (pictured), as you heard (and he heard, did he ever) has been getting a lot of chirping in the Calgary-Chicago matchup, which will become a main storyline if Mike Keenan has his way.
   
   It comes with the territory for Iginla. TSN's Pierre McGuire said during Game 3 he'd never seen a veteran player take such a "verbal abusing." Hockey Night in Canada's Scott Morrison, a notorious lapdog, raised the spectre of racial abuse, although to be fair, people probably were wondering. Meanwhile, stuff happening after the whistle (the Adam Burish cross-check on Rene Bourque; no suspension) is more of a story than what's happened between whistles, c'est la vie.
   
2. Alex Ovechkin and Nicklas Backstrom, think they do a NBA-style leap at centre ice if Washington ties their series vs. the New York Rangers?
3. Just for fun, tell the Senators fans in your life that they lost that Swede, Karlsson. It's technically true. Mattias Karlsson (not Erik, the first-round draft choice who will be awesome some day), a farmhand, has apparently signed with Timra in the Swedish Elite League. Your guess is good as any if that's a big loss. The Sens needed D like a hole in the head this season, but the call never went out for him.

Series going tonight:

Boston leads Montreal 3-0 — The upshot of Canadiens fans booing The Star-Spangled Banner is that Bruins fans won't have a chance to reciprocate, since there will be no Game 5.

It's a what-are-you-gonna-do. The sports-industrial complex will never give up playing the national anthems before games. This world has more than a few morons.

The sooner the Habs are gone, the better, really. It's too late to go Taibbi on the insufferable Canadiens fanbase, so let's leave it there. A four-game sweep vs. a historic rival is a nice epilogue for their gong show of a centennial season. The Bruins look like a Cup favourite.

New York leads Washington 2-1 — A gut feeling says the Caps come back.

Chicago leads Calgary 2-1 — The Blackhawks have put out a Canada-wide warrant for their offensive defenceman, Brian Campbell (one assist so far in the series).

Who what all played yesterday:

Vancouver sweeps St. Louis 4-0 — Captain Lou, Roberto Luongo, had a great answer when CBC's Scott Oake asked him if this was the best he had ever played: "I'll have an answer for you in a few weeks," the Canucks goaltender said.

The Canucks, whom Gabriel Desjardins deemed to have a reasonable shot at going to the finals, TCB'd pretty well by sweeping St. Louis. The Blues looked like they were just happy to keep it close in each game

Anaheim leads San Jose 2-1 — The floor is open to any theories that the Ducks might be fading. Goalie Jonas Hiller didn't have the same rebound control in last night's 4-3 Sharks win, while the Corey Perry-Ryan Getzlaf line was sucking wind pretty hard by the endgame.

Perry has no goals in the series so far.

Just as the best trades are the ones you don't make, the best posts are the ones you slough off writing because you're so self-hating (a bit of a projection). San Jose's defensive anchors, Rob Blake and Dan Boyle looked kind of rough during the first two games in San Jose, which the Sharks lost. Blake scored the first Sharks goal last night, Boyle got the next two and both had assists on captain Patrick Marleau's game-winner. In the words of Kitty Forman, "Oh, you've got to shut up."

Pittsburgh leads Philadelphia 3-1 — That 45-save effort by Marc-Andre Fleury in the Penguins' win last night might embody the best hope of blocking Boston's route to the final. The proud fans of Bruins Nation are not to be denied.

Detroit leads Columbus 3-0 — Paraphrasing Joe Pesci in My Cousin Vinny, "I got no more use for this series." The Red Wings have experience, offensive firepower, and a lot of other stuff.

Apologies for not being more regular with playoff posts, it's kind of been a rough week.

Hoserdome 2009: Playoffs, Day 4

Having six of the seven series at 2-0 seems like a bit of a rip, especially since, as From The Rink notes, teams almost never come back after dropping the first two games in the other guys' barn.

1. It's a frightening concept, but the Chicago Blackhawks are set to sweep the Calgary Flames because of this thing called "better players." (Glove tap: Michael Schur as Ken Tremendous.)
   
   It's hard to get your mind wrapped around that after a lifetime of being spoon-fed pabulum about heart and veteran leadership by commentators on Canadian networks, so let it sink in.
   
   Incidentally, Jonathan Toews for the 2010 Olympic team? Coming Down The Pipe! wants to know.
2. Patrice Bergeron's takedown of Mike Komisarek was a laugh and a half. You have Komisarek running across the ice like an idiot to take a head shot at a player who's got a history of concussions, getting his ass handed to him and then having NESN's Jack Edwards mine it for head-injury humour: "Concuss that!"
   
   
   
   Brilliant. And people think I'm weird for preferring baseball and basketball to hockey. Then again, I'm a pansy.
3. Canadian Roberto Luongo, Swede Henrik Lundqvist, American Tim Thomas, Swiss Jonas Hillier and Russian Nikolai Khabibulin have been the best goalies in the post-season, for anyone thinking about Vancouver 2010.
   

Blackhawks 3 Flames 2 (Chicago leads 2-0) — The good news for Calgary, beyond getting to go home, is they finally scored on the power play after an 0-for-47 drought. The bad news is they were shut out while playing 5-on-5.

By the way, Patrick Sharp, who scored the second Blackhawks goal, played at the University of Vermont. Since fellow UVM product Martin St. Louis is in Tampa Bay, it's rare to see a former Catamount in the playoffs (yes, yes, there's Torrey Mitchell on the San Jose Sharks).

Rogers Sportsnet's Calgary correspondent Roger Millions is off the air for a few days after saying you-know-what on the air. It wasn't a firing offence, since it was a team mistake, but at this rate, the Flames might be done by the time he's back.

Bruins 5 Canadiens 1 (Boston leads 2-0) — The epitaph for a Habs season gone horribly asunder came from a Montreal-aligned friend who said, "The only forward they've got who's any good as Alex Kovalev and I don't want him back next season."

The Bruins likely lose Milan Lucic to a one-game suspension, but that should not hurt much in the long run.

Between Montreal getting skated out of the rink and the New York Yankees getting shelled for 22 runs, there was a run on Haterade on Saturday. The logical explanation is that the Habs overachieved in 2007-08, overplayed their top guys (a condition known as being "Paddock-ed" and didn't have enough in the tank for this season. The fun explanation is that their fans flew to the close to the sun on wings of vote-robots.

Red Wings 4 Blue Jackets 0 (Detroit leads 2-0) — Michigan have its hockey team, but Ohio is first in home foreclosures.

Rangers 1 Capitals 0 (New York leads 2-0) — Apparently, Henrik Lundqvist has decided to spoil the Capitals' season, but just less than one-quarter of the teams which lose the first two games at home actually manage to come back and win.

The thumbnail sketch of the Rangers is that the veterans responded after John Tortorella was brought in as coach. Strangely enough, Ryan Callahan, obviously a grizzled 24-year-old third-year pro, has a team-high 10 goals since the coaching change. That all comes back to veteran leadership.

(Last but not least, a tip of the cap is due to Ian Duval, who scored two goals in the Kelowna Rockets' win over the Vancouver Giants in Game 1 of the WHL semi-final series last night. Duval played triple-A midget hockey for the Central Plains Capitals, based in Portage la Prairie, Man., during two OOLFers' tenure at the Portage Daily Graphic.)

Laugh 'cause you can't cry; Top 10 comforting thoughts after watching Canada get curb-stomped by Italy

10. Unlike Guy Carbonneau, you still had a job to go to today.

9. Don't worry, almost no one (12,411 in attendance) saw it happen.

8. Downtown Toronto bar owners still stand to reap a windfall from the Leafs and Raptors playoff runs ... in 2025.

7. Something tells us you have probably seen your last Canada Bombs Out headline in the National Post.

6. Number 10 should be valid for another two, maybe three weeks.

5. At least the coach or manager didn't spoil the game for everyone by not starting Martin Gerber ... unless Martin Gerber is Swiss-German for Scott Richmond.

4. Stubby Clapp's pity pinch-hit appearance (glove tap: The Blue Jay Hunter) allowed everyone to coo like they do with a newborn baby. Ooh, he's so cute, and he's sixty-eight inches long.

3. Grandma was able to get reacquainted with jamiecampbell -- such a nice, polite young man -- three weeks earlier than usual.

2. Everyone still has their health, especially Scott Richmond.

1. Hey, you still have as many as 78 Blue Jays wins to look forward to this summer.

Related:
Shark Sandwich (Mike Wilner, Miked Up)
Canada bombs out (National Post)
Montreal media strike again (Ottawa Sports Guy)

Snark break ...

(Honestly, the Snark Break bit might have to die ... on Mondays, it should be, in honour of favourite funny bastard Bill Murray's first big role, the Trippers, as in, "It just doesn't matter! It just doesn't matter!" Anyway, it just doesn't matter ...

... that four Montreal Canadiens were elected to start for the Eastern Conference in the NHL all-star game and Alex Ovechkin, the best player in the sport, will only go as a reserve. It's an exhibition game in a sport where players only stay in the ice for 40-50 seconds at a clip, does it matter who starts? The NHL All-Star Game is as pertinent to hockey as Ben Lyons is to film criticism. Let it go.

... that there are still two games left in the Bowl Clusterphooey Series. The blogetariat is convinced the national championship should be handed to the unbeaten Utah Utes.

... that each team is not guaranteed a possession in NFL overtime, when it's Peyton Manning's team that ends up never seeing the ball. (Seriously, it's stupid.)

... who gets centrefielder Andruw Jones and his restructured contract, although it would be nice if he went back to the Atlanta Braves. Then they would have Chipper Jones and Cheaper Jones.

(One columnist has convinced himself Jones' career is done. Well, why didn't you say that his career is over? Start in with the J.P. Ricciardi jokes in 3-2-1 ...)

... that you never bother to read anything at AOL Fanhouse, because it's dead on arrival now that it has signed up Jay Mariotti. (Thank you, Sports On My Mind.)

... that the Minnesota Vikings, my Minnesota Vikings, lost out in the NFL playoffs. It puts Brad Childress on a short leash in 2009, one would hope. The game was there for the taking even though they didn't play very well or all that aggressively. It's kind of a microcosm of how it's gone under Childress. Anyone think that Bill Cowher would call for a run up the middle or a, groan, safe pass, right after the defence forces a turnover at midfield? No, he'd force the issue. The mind reels.

... that Kinger is the only one who gets why Big Wheel At The Cracker Factory would be a great title for a book if some guy wasn't already using it.

... that someone is another a year older. Thanks again to the readers and friends, and all of you are in the latter category, who sent Facebook messages to the newly minted 30-something-year-old. I debuted the same year as two franchises who have underperformed lately -- Star Wars and the Blue Jays.

This post is worth nothing, but this is worth noting

• Bob Elliott of Sun Media published a list of the 100 most influential Canadians in baseball over the weekend. Jonah Keri of ESPN.com, Gatineau native Phillippe Aumont and Baseball Canada's Jim Baba (who had a little something to do with the Ottawa Rapids' existence) each made the list (and ahead of jamiecampbell, too).
  
  The Ottawa Citizen sportswriter Don Campbell, who's an accomplished youth baseball coach, received a honourable mention.
  
• Vancouver Canucks GM Mike Gillis, a Kingston guy, got a right good Kurtenblogging. Please don't shoot the messenger.

Habs fans caught sleeping. "No-name" Crosby vaults to the lead in all-star voting

Whether it was a case of Montreal fans becoming just a little too self-conscious, a backlash against insane homerism, or just that they ran out off all-star ballets in Quebec is unclear. But, Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin have managed to vault past Alex Tanguay in voting for the eastern conference all-star team.

It doesn't really matter of course. No one actually cares about the all-star game. Except the fans in the home arena. So, it says here let the Habs fans have their fun (and not just because it further solidifies their evolution into Leafs fans with better accents). Forget getting Alex Ovechkin into the starting line-up. Let's all band together to make sure Saku Koivu plays. Hell, is Guy Lafleur available?

Less effort will be needed to get the defense and goaltending all Habie. Mike Komisarek still has 80,000 votes on Sergei Gonchar and even if Marc-Andre Fleury catches Carey Price the 'keeper will still be French, eh.

It's their game. Shame is optional.

Fans of the Montreal Canadiens used to take the higher road. Used to. That was before they started rioting after first-round playoff wins and stuffing the all-star ballet box in an effort to prove that Alex Tanguay is better than Sidney Crosby.

Below the jump, the latest all-star ballot standings:

Forwards

Player NHL Club Votes
Alex Kovalev Montreal 393,303
Saku Koivu Montreal 390,026
Alex Tanguay Montreal 385,297
Sidney Crosby Pittsburgh 320,373
Evgeni Malkin Pittsburgh 264,914
Alex Ovechkin Washington 190,535
Alexander Semin Washington 109,917
Marc Savard Boston 98,731
Patrice Bergeron Boston 91,453
Thomas Vanek Buffalo 86,198
Simon Gagne Philadelphia 66,667
Mike Richards Philadelphia 53,486
Danny Briere Philadelphia 52,770
Derek Roy Buffalo 51,955
Vincent Lecavalier Tampa Bay 47,147
Ilya Kovalchuk Atlanta 31,208
Chris Drury NY Rangers 30,617
Dany Heatley Ottawa 29,916
Daniel Alfredsson Ottawa 27,599
Eric Staal Carolina 24,785
Zach Parise New Jersey 22,437
Markus Naslund NY Rangers 21,335
Scott Gomez NY Rangers 20,462
Martin St. Louis Tampa Bay 17,380
Jason Spezza Ottawa 14,971
Rod Brind'Amour Carolina 14,253
Brian Rolston New Jersey 13,250
*Jordan Staal Pittsburgh 13,068
Patrik Elias New Jersey 11,870
Ray Whitney Carolina 10,441
*Milan Lucic Boston 9,141
*Philip Kessel Boston 8,251
*Jeff Carter Philadelphia 6,177
Trent Hunter NY Islanders 5,300


Defensemen
Andrei Markov Montreal 440,292
Mike Komisarek Montreal 396,754
Zdeno Chara Boston 197,582
Sergei Gonchar Pittsburgh 185,051
Ryan Whitney Pittsburgh 162,461
Mike Green Washington 159,808
Teppo Numminen Buffalo 77,688
Kimmo Timonen Philadelphia 77,347
Tomas Kaberle Toronto 61,604
Wade Redden NY Rangers 45,745
Jay Bouwmeester Florida 36,499
Chris Phillips Ottawa 15,602

Goaltenders
Carey Price Montreal 429,087
Marc-Andre Fleury Pittsburgh 204,308
Henrik Lundqvist NY Rangers 87,620
Ryan Miller Buffalo 82,709
*Tim Thomas Boston 52,606
Martin Biron Philadelphia 47,090
Martin Brodeur New Jersey 36,435
Vesa Toskala Toronto 24,890
Kari Lehtonen Atlanta 12,148
Tomas Vokoun Florida 7,210
Rick DiPietro NY Islanders 7,183

Note: Write-in candidates are denoted by an asterisk (*).