CIS Corner: Gaels add Toronto game

First things first: This has been covered off at cisblog.ca, did you know every OUA team can be downloaded for the NCAA Football '10 video game?

Meantime, the Queen's Golden Gaels will have a pre-season game vs. the Toronto Varsity Blues at Varsity Stadium on Aug. 31, one week before the season opener vs. Guelph. It was mentioned at cisfootall.org.

Queen's has had tune-ups vs. old O-QIFC foes Concordia and McGill the past couple years. With no regular-season game against their old Big Four rival on the schedule and the York game at home, apparently it made a smidgen of sense to schedule a football event in the GTA.

It is only 59 days until the OUA season kicks off.

The ATJs report: Seeing victory and the moral high geekhood

One of us is owner of the the all-time Toronto Blue Jays team — the ATJs — in the Seamheads.com Historical League (SHL). So how about those Blue Jays? At this writing, they are 56-49, clinging to a two-game division lead over the combined Arizona-Colorado D-Rocks .

Out of Left Field has a bone to pick with who's out in left field.

It veers dangerously close to that Warcraft episode of South Park, but it set the blood to boil to see "M. Teixeira, LF" appear in the boxscore of a recent 7-4 win over the Angels (Roy Halladay, FTW: Complete-game win and a two-run single which knocked Nolan Ryan out of the game). It just flies in the face of a personal geek code which puts a premium on verisimilitude in sports simulations, even if judging by the fact he's made eight errors in 28 games, Mark Teixeira probably has tried to catch a few flies with his face.

Truth be known, it's a huge dice-roll by Angels GM Chad Finn from Touching All The Bases to use Teixeira as a leftfielder. The current poster child for the armageddon has only played 25 major-league games in the outfield, all in 2003 when he was with a team not named the Angels. It gets another power bat in the lineup and this is a fun thing for a bunch of baseball obsessives, so fair play to Chad. The problems are all on this end.

It probably is classic projecting-all-over-the-place to have even picked up on something so picayune. The SHL uses only players' stats accumulated for that team, which means if you wanted to put Manny Ramirez on the Dodgers after he hit .396/.489/.743 for L.A. over the final third of the last season, go right ahead.

It's a similar story with Teixeira, who hit .358/.449/.632 (batting average, on-base percentage, slugging percentage) after the Angels brought him last season as a rental player (and never played him anywhere but first base, which is the only spot he'll play for the Yankees).

Some SHL owners will do that, and that's OK. For some, it all harkens back to the epitaph a friend unwittingly offered long ago, late on night over Madden: "Neate, you always try to play the game right." He was referring to actually punting when it was fourth down and forever, instead of having the quarterback scramble around behind the line of scrimmage and heave the ball downfield like Rex Grossman in his most fevered dream to get a miracle completion (to say nothing of people who would call fake field goals in every kicking situation).

As the years have rolled past like some sunny day, it's come to take the form of a left-handed compliment. Half the fun of getting into this was to go with the players who had lasting impact in Toronto, just like how the manager who got the Jays to the mountaintop, twice, Cito Gaston, could be loyal to his guys to a fault (see Joe Carter's 1997 batting splits).

Great hitters, but not out standing in their field!

The whole verisim-whatever thing was paramount in the construction of the All-Time Jays, for good or ill. Apparently, it is so be it, if it means having a team which played .500 ball since May 1 since someone had a Seamhead hang-up about running Dave Winfield out to right field every day, because he played only 26 games there while he was OPS-plusing 137 as the DH for the 1992 championship team. The same could go for having Paul Molitor, who played only 28 games as a first baseman across his three-year stint as the Jays' DH (OPS-plusing 138 in the 1993 and 143 in '94). Molitor might have been a better call at third base if not for a huge yes-but: He didn't play that position regularly for the Blue Jays.

What's it called if you cut corners and stop at nothing, by not staying true to your team's history? Uh, winning?

Believe it, all manner of history-affronting solutions have been contemplated as the Jays have eked their way through the past couple months like, well, a 32-year-old copy editor who shares a one-bedroom apartment. Third base, both corner outfield spots and the back end of the starting rotation have been troublesome. It still would have felt wrong to have Winfield or Molitor as an everyday position player.

On the mound, David Cone, based on his two partial seasons in Toronto (3.14 ERA over 183 1/3 innings during the '92 pennant drive and the turn-out-the-lights '95 season), might have bolstered a pitching staff whose ERA has ballooned to a garden variety 4.73, including 4.89 for the starters (both in the bottom third of the league).

Finn's gambit, though, has provided inspiration to call up 1980s-vintage first baseman Willie Upshaw, hitting .292/.354/.516 at Triple-A Las Vegas, so he can be about the sixth player to have a crack at holding down a semi-regular role in the outfield. Upshaw at least has a fielding rating in left field. His rating is 1. In the Out of the Park baseball simulation, by the way, the higher the number the better. Still, the other outfielders beyond Moseby and Devon White haven't been very good, producing McGlovin-esque stats:

• Joe Carter: .761 OPS
  
• Alex Rios: .684
  
• George Bell: .637
• Jesse Barfield: .580
• Vernon Wells: .561

In the infield, Orlando Hudson, who is blocked by Robbie Alomar at the only position he's ever known, second base, is also coming up. The O-Dog, who's hit .312/.363/.481 for the 51s, might end up becoming some kind of utilityman, filling at third base and shortstop, since Troy Glaus has been useless vs. righties and Tony Fernandez has started all 105 games.

The road ahead, the final 49 games, are going to be tough, most notably a fast-approaching four-game series against the Arizona/Colorado team. Ultimately, it still feels like the right choice to have not kept Molitor or Winfield, or do something crazy like With no DH, having Carlos Delgado and Freddie McGriff rotate between first and the outfield, like how Hall of Fame sluggers Willie McCovey and Orlando Cepeda did for the early-'60s San Francisco Giants. Do you remember Delgado's short-lived stint as an outfielder in 1994? (King Carlos is still second in the league with a 1.041 OPS).

It's just that using a player who was only with the team for a brief period isn't true to what it's like to follow a team down through the years. You want to take in their bad seasons, their struggles as a young player, the years after they peaked. Granted, that is pretty self-serving coming from someone who did take Roger Clemens, who only pitched in Toronto for two now-tainted seasons, but let's not go nuts. There's a division title at stake and he has proven to be the one sure thing in the starting rotation.

He must have been winded: Pitchers having to run the bases is the 11th-most hilarious aspect of National League baseball (Nos. 1-10 are all actual teams), so what happened to Jimmy Key in a recent 10-7 win over the Angels did not escape notice. With two out in the bottom of the third, Key came around to score for first base on a two-out double by Rios on a 3-2 pitch, putting the All-Time Jays up 7-0. The next inning, presumably still winded, he was touched up for six runs and was yanked before he could qualify for a win. B.J. Ryan picked him up with 3 1/3 innings scoreless relief.

Rance Mulliniks The Player also scored the first run of that game without the ball leaving the infield (walk, sac bunt, up to third on an infield out, wild pitch). Rance Mulliniks The Broadcaster then spent the next five innings talking about the need to manufacture runs.

That's about the low point: The absolute teeth-gnasher has to be a four-game sweep at the hands of Florida/Tampa Bay which included three losses in extra-innings, which must have had the Jays Talk knowitalls going on about the team's lack of heart and scrappy grit. A potential comeback win in the opener turned into an 11-9 loss when Conine ripped a three-run homer off Tom Henke in the bottom of the 10th. Two nights later, the Terminator couldn't hold a lead for Pat Hentgen, as Derrek Lee hit a tying, two-run homer, and then homered again in the 12th for a 5-3 win.

Conine also got another 10th-inning game-winning hit off Henke in a 3-2 win the next day. That was set up by a triple by Hanley Ramirez, whose RBI double in the eighth sent it to extras. (For some reason, Roger Clemens was allowed to start that inning even though he was at 119 pitches after seven innings.)

He just has it in for Hall of Fame closers: A three-game sweep of the Padres included Robbie Alomar hitting a game-winning homer off Goose Gossage. It actually came in the seventh inning, so Robbie probably didn't throw up his hands as he started toward first base like he did in October 1992 vs. Dennis Eckersley.

'Spos daze: The All-Time Jays are 0-6 vs. Montreal, the team mastermind by Jonah Keri. Despite all that help, nos amours are still second in the Expansion Two division.

Take that, Seaver: The Cincinnati version of Tom Seaver has been roughed up whenever he's faced "us." Delgado hit a pair of two-run homers off him in a 7-5 win July 28, but has gone yard only once since, which is kind of a drag.

What's coming up: A four-game series on the road against the Arizona-Colorado D-Rocks.

Snark break ...

As you were figuring out how to get by without that extra $5 a year.

Anyone who makes a joke about Michael Vick being this much closer to playing for the Oakland Raiders deserves to be cuffed about the head and shoulders.

A politician in Alberta wants to make rodeo the province's official sport. There's actual rodeo events at the Calgary Stampede? Since when? A lot of people might get a mental image that includes cowboy hats and boots (and not much else) when they hear "Calgary Stampede," but they aren't thinking of barrel racing and calf roping.

Why do we even play the games anymore? Notre Dame beat Texas in a big college basketball game last night, but the outcome had already been predicted by EA Sports Basketball 09.

Cox Bloc has a few choice words for anyone who didn't like Leafs GM Brian Burke Cliff Fletcher making a trade for Lee Stempniak.

The weakness in the human heart. Bob Knight left Indiana Univerisity eight years ago, had nothing to do with the shenanigans that have landed the Hoosiers on NCAA probation, and still it pleases you to see that happen.

(Also pleasing, college basketball-wise: Syracuse knocking off Kansas in overtime last night in front of 16,000 fans in Kansas City, with Jonny Flynn making a tying three-pointer late to force the overtime.)

This above is of dubious worth, but this is worth noting:

• Stephen Brunt's Searching For Bobby Orr is available for $10. If you mentioned you read Out of Left Field, the price goes up to $15.
• Sixteen seasons after the fact, Joe Posnanski is pointing out that Roberto Alomar got jobbed in the 1992 MVP balloting, which means I am not crazy:

  "Then the best choice for MVP league-wide was probably Toronto second baseman Roberto Alomar who was fourth in on-base percentage, third in runs scored, fifth in triples, fifth in stolen bases and an absolute revelation as a defensive second baseman. This is a topic for another time, but it’s so strange to me how OVERRATED scrappy middle infielders can be and how UNDERRATED great middle infielders can be. One of the weirdest parts of the game."

• Former Kingston Frontenac Kyle Paige is the newest member of the Gatineau Olympiques.

Snark Break ...

ESPN's John Saunders referred to the Buffalo Bills as "Canada's Team" during The Sports Reporters on Sunday.

A couple friends, through the magic of secondary ticketing, scored tickets to the Patriots-Bills game in late December for $75 US apiece. They're in the corner of the end zone, seven rows up from the field. In Toronto, 75 bucks US won't even entitle you to drive by Rogers Centre on Dec. 7, the day the Bills "host" the Dolphins.

Raptors coach Sam Mitchell is swearing off cursing. His next bit of self-improvement will be swearing off coaching, but that will come involuntarily.

The Seattle Mariners said over the weekend they'll be "color blind and gender blind" in their GM search -- instead of merely talent blind. (Seriously, Kim Ng will be the first female general manager in a major pro sport. How is awesome is that?)

This is what the Oakland Raiders have come to — trying something that only works in a video game if you have the right Madden cheat card. Raiders coach Lane Kiffin allowed Sebastian Janikowski to try a 76-yard field goal.



The Spokane Chiefs held a ceremony to commemorate their Memorial Cup championship. Kingston Frontenacs GM-coach Larry Mavety denied

Paul Newman was a kick-ass philanthropist, won an Academy Award, served in the Battle of Okinawa, made Richard Nixon's Enemies List and all some of you lot will remember him by is Reggie Dunlop ... you're selling him short ... Absence of Malice was a pretty damn good movie too.

(Epic Carnival, by the way, has a new look.)

Know how I know ...

... that Pineapple Express was disappointing? Jason Spezza liked it. For all you Sennies fans, Puck Daddy just posted this most awesome interview that young Spezza did with Console Creatures.

(Since Spezz is rocking the casual shirt and backwards baseball cap like it's 1999, it's tough to tell which team he supports. That better be the cap of his hometown Blue Jays!)

Snark break...

The stuff that couldn't be seen while buried in the jungle primeval of CIS football...

• If you're a fan in Ottawa, try not to tear a vocal cord after you read this: Organizers of the 2012 World Junior Hockey Championship in Alberta say more than 40 per cent of the tickets will cost $40 or less. (If I had a lucky loonie for every gripe I'd heard about tickets for the World Juniors in Ottawa, I might actually be able to go see a game.)
• Spread the phrase: "I might be stupid, but I'm not LPGA-stupid." One bit of subtext to this making-English-mandatory story is that every other sports league sucks up to the Asian market, except the blinkered golf world.
• This how you throw someone under the bus.
• The Senators probably love Andrej Meszaros, but for $5 million per season, they should probably just remain in like with him.
• All that you need about federal politics in Canada these days is that it's so cockamamie that law professors actually make some sense.
• Whoever came up with the list of greatest video-game athletes of all time obviously never saw the "N. Sager" who played fullback for the Madden 2001 incarnation of the Minnesota Vikings. (At what age are you too old to create yourself in Madden? Thirty-one seems to be the cutoff.)
• It's already been handled by KSK, but if an online sportsbook is going to offer odds on the first NFL player arrested this season, it might not have been a bad idea to include at least one white guy. To sum up: Misanthrophy good, but being all racist-y is bad.

Stuff that's important, not so much that it gets its own post (so there):

• Speaking of the Vikes, can Bryant McKinnie just be suspended already, so we can go on living our lives?
• Our man Andrew Buchholz covered off Queen's basketball loss to the Anderson (Ind.) Ravens over at Sporting Madness. Those other Ravens, the ones from Carleton, beat Division 1 Northeastern by 30 points last night; the Kingston trio of Aaron Doornekamp, Rob Saunders and Stu Turnbull had a combined 44 points in the 77-47 rout. (To be fair, it was Northeastern's third game in four nights.

But can you make someone's head bleed?

There's an early look at NCAA Football 09 for the XBox. This might help support the argument that a football video game was a lot more fun when the players didn't look so lifelike and the offensive playbook consisted of, like, six plays (toss left, fullback dive, sweep right, short pass, play-action pass, long pass).

Have any of you Canadian gamers ever bought the NCAA game and used the Create-A-School feature to put a CIS team in the game? Me neither.