AIN'T NO PARTY LIKE A LAME YANKEES VICTORY PARTY

You can't really say the Blue Jays avoided having the New York Yankees celebrate an AL East title at their expense since they won tonight, 3-2. Ultimately, the Yankees did back into the division title since a Red Sox loss clinched it for them tonight, but they are 5-1 against the Jays since Aug. 1, so yes, they did clinch the division at the Jays' expense.

Have to imagine that a Yankee victory party would probably going something like this:

Someone tossed a champagne bottle to Alex Rodriguez, who dropped it, only to have Derek Jeter make a diving recovery to keep it from hitting the floor. Picking up the bottle, Jeter tossed it to Jason Giambi, but the throw was low and the resulting stretch caused him to strain a hamstring muscle. So Giambi waved in Aaron Guiel as his drinking replacement.

Bernie Williams just stood around looking hopeless and confused.

Centre-fielder Johnny Damon tried to toss a paper cup to second baseman Robinson Cano. It reached him on the second bounce.

(Hat tip to Thomas Ayers of Batter's Box for the help.)

OTHER BASEBALL STUFF (AND 1 FOOTBALL NOTE)

• Missed this earlier but the Toronto Sun's Bob Elliott notes that the Jays' two biggest draws, the Red Sox and Yankees, apparently will only come to T.O. for mid-week series next season. Weekend dates against the Evil Empires typically draw 12,000 to 15,000 more fans than the mid-week games against them. Seeing as no other opponent has a direct impact on Jays attendance, this could probably hurt total attendance by 125,000 to 150,000 fans. Just remember that next year if you start seeing snide columns about Jays attendance remaining relatively low.
  
  Oh, and the L.A. Times isn't too impressed by the Dodgers having to play the Jays six times next year, but that's OK: Yours truly isn't that impressed by the L.A. Times.
  
• The Jays are only a game out of second place in the East, but if there's any concern about Roy Halladay (who came out in the fourth inning tonight), he shouldn't pitch the rest of the season.
• Slate's Robert Weintraub on NBC's NFL pregame show: "After two weeks of Football Night in America, I'm ready to head for Canada."
• Remember last week, when it was noted that Phillies slugger Ryan Howard isn't a MVP candidate? Sportzilla and the Jabber Jocks agree with me. (There's a sentence I never thought I'd read, let alone type.)
• The Tigers won, staying a half-game ahead of the Twins. The White Sox have run out of gmes in the wild-card race.

Back with more later. Send your thoughts to neatesager@yahoo.ca.