HOCKEY'S HERE: THE ANAHEIM DUCKS

The first hint of fall is in the air. It's getting dark earlier, and soon it will be too cold to spend Saturday nights sharing a 2-4 of Blue and listening to G 'n' R at the gravel pit. It's time to air out your gear, sharpen your skates and tape your stick -- it's hockey season. Sure, your team flat-out ached last season, but there’s hope, unless you're an Islanders fan. In that spirit, Out of Left Field is here with early looks at all 30 NHL teams. Presenting: The Anaheim Ducks.

Last season: 98 points, 3rd in Pacific Division; lost to Edmonton in Western final
Coach: Randy Carlyle (2nd year)
Young gun: Ryan Getzlaf
Store this name away: Ryan Shannon
Hey, get a load of the new guy: Chris Pronger
Blogs (including but not limited to): Battle of California, Duck’s Blog, Orange County Register
Pop culture moment: Well, there were those Disney movies, but they'd rather you pretend that never happened. That explains the not-so-Mighty new name and uniform.

With no regard for budget or any number of copyrights, Negrodamus from Chappelle's Show has been brought in to offer a vision for Chris Pronger's future.

"Negrodamus, will Pronger ever get to hoist the Stanley Cup?"

"One day Chris Pronger will wake up with a Stanley Cup ring. And he will feel terrible, because there will be a big diamond-encrusted duck in the middle of it. Then he will be reminded how he bailed on Edmonton, then never tried to explain why and got all pissy when people started to speculate."

(Cue Dave Chappelle himself: "Great, a white guy in Canada is ripping me off? This is why I cancelled my show.")

Let’s not even have a season. Let’s skip straight to the Stanley Cup final between the teams that look best on paper. In the Western Conference, that’s definitely the Ducks. For the East's paper representative, the Ottawa Senators, legends in their own fans' minds, will do quite nicely.

As you know, GM Brian Burke moved aggressively over the summer, adding Pronger to play alongside and Scott Niedermayer, giving Anaheim two elite D-men who can each play 25-30 minutes per night and anchor the power play and penalty-killing units. The Ducks also have a lot of depth among their forwards (including underrated centre Andy McDonald, Kingston's unknown NHLer), and will likely bolster that area farther once goalie J.S. Giguere is traded.

What probably makes or breaks Anaheim is how much progress Ryan Getzlaf makes in his second season. He’s kind of a younger version of Todd Bertuzzi – you hate to hang that on anyone, but both are power forwards with offensive touch that are always fending off accusations of coasting. (Both were chosen around the 20th overall pick -- Bertuzzi 23rd in 1993, Getzlaf 19th in '03. Both broke into the NHL as 20-year-old rookies and had 39 points in their yearling seasons, eerily enough.)

The other variable involves goaltending. Can Ilya Bryzgalov, the newly minted No. 1 goalie, do for 55-60 games what he did at times in the playoffs last spring?

Don't put too much stock in that 7-1 stinker against the Kings in the first pre-season fixture. Anaheim didn't dress Pronger or several regulars, and as LAist noted, the first exhibition game "is kind of like the first time you ever have sex. You might have all the right parts to be successful, you know what you are supposed to be doing, a few thousand people are watching, but timing and stamina can really let you down."

It's not hard (no pun intended) to see why Anaheim’s such a hip pick to win the Stanley Cup, as much as one shudders at seeing yet another championship parade in a place that has palm trees.
Also in Pacific Division: Dallas Stars, Los Angeles Kings, Phoenix Coyotes, San Jose Sharks

Related:
Hometown Breakdown: Kingston's Unknown NHLer (Aug. 26)

Back with more later. Send your thoughts to neatesager@yahoo.ca.