HOCKEY'S HERE: PHOENIX COYOTES

The first hint of fall is in the air. It's getting dark earlier, and soon it will be too cold to spend Saturday nights sharing a 2-4 of Blue and listening to Guns N' Roses at the gravel pit. It's time to air out your gear, sharpen your skates and tape your stick -- it’s hockey season. Sure, your team flat-out ached last season, but there's hope, unless you're an Islanders fan. In that spirit, Out of Left Field offers looks at all 30 NHL teams. Presenting: The Phoenix Coyotes.

Last season: 81 points, last in Pacific Division; missed playoffs
Coach: Wayne Gretzky (2nd season)
Young gun: Ladislav Nagy, who's not that young
Store this name away: Enver Lisin
Hey, get a load of the new guy: Ed Jovanovski
Glad you came back... now I don't have to stab you: Jeremy Roenick
Blogs (including but not limited to): Coyote Corner
Pop culture moment: Have to go back to the team's days in Winnipeg, as immortalized by Prairie alt-rockers the Weakerthans in their song One Great City: "The Guess Who suck, and the Jets were lousy anyway."

Congratulations, Coyotes, you've managed to surpass your fellow residents of Glendale, Ariz., the NFL's Arizona Cardinals, for drab mediocrity. This is the franchise's 10th season in the desert, and it has yet to advance past the first round of the playoffs. At the risk of being cruel, it looks like the only reason Ed Jovanovski, AKA Special Ed, signed with the Coyotes was to hit on smoking-hot sorority girls from Arizona State who are probably at or near his intellectual level. That was mean.... to the sorority girls. I take it back.

If Phoenix gets some scoring and ex-Leafs goalie Curtis Joseph duplicates his strong play from '05-06, they could sneak into the playoffs. Ladislav Nagy and Mike Comrie make for an effective 1-2 scoring punch on the rare occasions when both are in the lineup, and at The Great One's request, no doubt, Phoenix has added enforcer Georges Laraque from the Oilers to keep the flies off the star scorers.

The Coyotes should be more competitive, but are a long shot to be in the top eight. They would probably be a playoff team in the East, though.

Also in Pacific Division: Anaheim Ducks, Dallas Stars, Los Angeles Kings, San Jose Sharks.

Back with more later. Send your thoughts to neatesager@yahoo.ca.