SOMEONE SCORED TONIGHT, BUT IT WASN'T ANYONE IN A T.O. UNIFORM

Mercy sakes alive, looks like we got ourselves a convoy. Oh, and NBA commissioner David Stern, please, once again, revoke the New York Knicks franchise before it achieves nuclear capability.

Since your Saturday paper will likely carry the story of the man who won $400,000 U.S. in civil damages against the manufacturer of a penile implant that gave him a 10-year erection, let's just say it was a very flaccid night for the Toronto sports teams that were in action.

The Jays lost 6-1 to the Mets and Tom Glavine in Carlos Delgado's big homecoming. There's little to say about this one. With the way Glavine was chucking ball, it was curtains for the Jays after David Wright crushed an early three-run homer to put the Mets up 4-0. Maybe it's a blessing in disguise: the Jays lost the game they should have lost -- now maybe they roll behind Roy Halladay today and then give their old buddy Steve Trachsel a right good kicking on Sunday. (With the latter, they'll have if they want to win; Josh Towers is pitching.)

One interesting note is that John Gibbons has mused that he might start using Troy Glaus at shortstop more, not just for interleague games in National League parks when the Jays don't have a DH spot for Shea Hillenbrand. Conspiracy theory: It's not so much that Glaus can play shortstop, or that the Jays might figure that Aaron Hill and Russ Adams could be transformed from a half-assed double-play combo into a quite serviceable, fully-assed second-base platoon.

Giving Glaus some starts at shortstop while playing Hillenbrand at third base presumably would make allowances to get Eric Hinske some more playing time, which as noted previously, the Jays have to do if they're going to shop him around for pitching help between now and the trading deadline. That's the sneaking suspicion here.

RICKY RUNS FOR 12.4544 YARDS

However, when it comes to offensive woes, the Jays had nothing on their Rogers Centre co-habitants, the Argonauts, who might have set CFL offence back, oh, 30 years in losing a 16-9 field-goal battle against the Winnipeg Blue Bombers. Ricky Williams had little blocking to work with last night and was held to eight carries for 14 yards. This is not such a bad thing if you're on record saying he will not win the CFL rushing title. I can hear American readers now. What's that with the exchange rate? (long pause for comic effect) Eh?

Since you asked, it's 12.4544 yards if the same exchange rate for the loonie and the greenback is employed.

The Bombers little scatback, Charles Roberts, scampered for 133 on the night, or 118.317 American Football Yards. Roberts ran in for a touchdown on Winnipeg's first drive, and well, that was the game's only TD. There wasn't much to see.

OTHER BUSINESS

• Yes, there's been a blockbuster trade in the NHL: The Vancouver Bertuzzi Apologists acquired star goalie Roberto Luongo while the all-Canadian meathead Todd Bertuzzi is headed to Florida (and after he leaves this lifetime, presumably somewhere much, much warmer).
• However, yours truly and hockey are on a break after it consumed way too much of the warm-weather months. After getting home and flipping past Sportsnet and hearing Nick Kypreos say something about "kicking the tires," which is the Beaten-To-Death Cliché of the 2006 Draft, I'd had all I could take.
  
  There are far, far better things to do on a Saturday night in the summer (even in The City That Fun Forgot) then wonder what calamitous fate awaits whatever 18-year-old kid receives a Maple Leafs sweater from John Ferguson Jr.
  
  However, if you must follow the draft, James Mirtle is your best bet in the blogosphere and as far as beat writers, it's the Ottawa Sun's Bruce Garrioch. Nice work, Neate, dropping in a plug for your real job. You're so smooth like that. With the women ... not so much.
• Sweden-Germany at 11 a.m. Sweden didn't show much in the group play and well, it's unlikely the host country is going down in Round of 16. Here's the dream scenario (dream because it puts the Germans through the ringer and because there's not a chance in hell of it coming true.) Germany takes an early 1-0 lead. They keep having chances, maybe have a goal called back on an offside, and Sweden, down to 10 men since a red card early in the second half, equalizes in the final minutes, on a great setup by Fredrik Ljungberg. So they play extra time, and Germany hits the crossbar twice, and it goes to penalties, where the Tre Kroner prevail, with 24nd and final penalty-kick shooter putting his try into the 20th row.

That's all for now. Send your thoughts to neatesager@yahoo.ca. Let's hear for Bedouin Soundclash.