BRING IT ON: A LAWSUIT, THAT IS; AND THE JAYS MEET THE METS

Seriously, David Stern: Revoke the Knicks franchise before it achieves nuclear capability. Another question: how come there's no retrospective pieces on Steve Trachsel's emotional return to Toronto?

Memo to all NHL front offices: Yes, you should totally add a cheerleading squad.

This seems fairly horrendous: a former member of the cheerleading squad at Marshall (W. Va.) University -- alma mater of my football hero, Randy Moss -- is suing for sexual harassment, and let's just say the allegations go beyond the garden variety. The suit alleges, among other things, that cheers were identified by the names for various sexual acts. Seriously.

Deadspin, Every Day Should Be Saturday and The Smoking Gun are all over this.

Have to wonder, though if the courts and media are really protecting the plaintiff's anonymity by referring to her by her initials, the first of which is K. Then again, this is West Virginia, and it's a cheerleading squad, so half the girls are probably named Kassie, Kaydee, Kaysie, Kayla, Kaylie, Kelsi, Keri, Kerri, Khastity, Kirbie, Kirsty, Krysti or whatever name their red-state parents concocted that is a complete affront to spelling and phonics.

The only good to come out of this so far has been what might be the funniest Deadspin comment ever:

This is a horrible story, but the term is "Pearl Necklace" and not "String of Pearls."

Honestly, if you can't trust a cheerleading coach to use the correct offensive euphemisms, who can you trust?

OTHER BUSINESS

• Where's my trophy wife? That's what I've been asking.
• The Carlos Delgado homecoming begins tonight. Here's the pitching matchups for the possible World Series preview, the Jays vs. the Mets. (Now, let's not go nuts.) Here's a scary Jays fact: Bob Elliott notes in today's Toronto Sun that it's getting only 4 2/3 innings a game from its starting pitchings -- worst in the AL with the exception of the Royals. That's a pretty damning stat for a team that can almost always count on 7-8 innings every time Roy Halladay starts.
  
  Tonight, 7:07 p.m. Casey Janssen (5-5, 4.50, 1.19 WHIP) vs. Tom Glavine (10-2, 3.48, 1.22 WHIP). Knowing the Jays, they'll bash the future Hall of Famer around but good tonight and be unable to buy a hit the rest of the weekend. The young Jays to keep an eye on tonight are Janssen, who's given up 12 earned runs in his last two starts, and the struggling Alex Rios.
  Saturday, 4:07 p.m. Roy Halladay (8-2, 2.94, 1.03 WHIP) vs. Orlando 'El Duque' Hernández (4-6, 5.23, 1.45 WHIP).
  Sunday, 12:07 p.m. Josh Towers (1-8, 8.76, 1.87 WHIP) vs. Steve Trachsel (5-4, 4.67, 1.53 WHIP). Generations collide, as the current Toronto pitching pariah meets the former Toronto pitching pariah. The Mets have won in five of Trachsel's past six starts.

That's all for now. Enjoy the weekend and try to stay out of jail. Send your thoughts to neatesager@yahoo.ca.