Don't criticize what you can't understand. It's always seemed like a good rule, one the sports journalists of a certain vintage would do well to follow (maybe they need Red Green, sitting his workshop: "I wanna talk to all you middle-aged hockey writers out there.")
There's no malice here, but it tickles the giggly to see, just one day after joking about how it is already passe to comment on Twitter (it's No. 24 from Stuff Journalists Like), that globesports.com's David Shoalts kind of morphed into Sam the Eagle -- is nothing sacred?! -- over the fake Brian Burke on Twitter. Granted, everyone else saw the fake Burke saying stuff lines such as, "Wade Redden looks disinterested, worn down and flat out terrible against the Leafs tonight. Or, as he calls it, playoff form,' " as pretty scandalous, if scandalous is a synonym for mildly amusing.
(Update: Sean at Down Goes Brown has confessed it was him; there is more at Puck Daddy. It will all come out in the wash, or hogwash.)
Shoaltsy, though, kind of lost it:
Leaf president and general manager Brian Burke is the wounded party this time, as someone has been impersonating him on Twitter, a social-networking and mini-blogging service. Twitter allows its users to send and read short posts, functioning as a message board for those who think, for some unfathomable reason, their random thoughts need to be inflicted on others.
"During the Hurricanes' morning skate on Friday, a security guard approached a man sitting in the stands. 'Excuse me, sir,' he said, 'are you with the Leafs or Hurricanes or the media?'
" 'Well,' the man said, 'I'm with Bret Hedican.'
" 'Who's he?' the guard said." - some guy, April 28, 2006
Point being, technology is only that to people who were born after it existed, different people have peculiar tastes and anyone with a room-temperature IQ could see it was not actually Brian Burke. It is passe (and pedantic putzery if ever it was) to make this point. At least Jeff Blairgets it:
"So they have me Twittering, and today we're going to start up a new blog called Unwritten Rules. We'll see how it goes. The online world is a lot of fun."
No word of a lie: There was a strong impulse to write, "No more blog posts about who's on Twitter, or fake Twitter accounts."
However, that was before noticing that venerable Globe & Mail baseball writer general sports columnist Jeff Blair is Tweeting from Blue Jays spring training down in Dunedin. He apparently started in the past two hours. Seriously, how else are you going to learn that Jesse Litsch was throwing a nasty slider?
chavez 1st jay on field 5th place beckons.
Anyway, beyond that, the whole someone purporting to be a famous person -- Brian Burke, Wayne Gretzky, Stephen Harper on Twitter is played out. We get it. We know so much about someone's public persona that's an easy joke. It goes double if it's someone who is very much old media when someone stood up at a lectern and pontificated and everyone paid attention and no one was hunched over texting (bad example, since thanks to the communications cartel in Canada).
Chances are, if you're of a certain age and sports leaning, you cut your teeth on Thomas Boswell's writing, and not necessarily just about baseball ... How Life Imitates The World Series ... Why Time Begins On Opening Day ... the 99 Reasons Why Baseball is Better Than Football column ... the columns after each of the Roberto Duran-Sugar Ray Leonard fights, which are anthologized everywhere ... the Playboy profile of Greg Maddux that was an introduction to one of Ralph Waldo Emerson's gems: "One man who has a mind and knows it can beat 10 who haven't and don't."
In other words, any other media-type of a certain vintage gets his Abe Simpson on over all these fandangled new baseball stats, you let it slide. It is beyond the pale when Boz is veheming againstAlbert Pujols (on-base plus slugging: 1.114) over the Philadelphia Phillies' Ryan Howard (OPS: .882) for National League MVP and that the L.A. Angels' Francisco Rodriguez, who wasn't even the most efficient closer in his league, should have won over in the AL.
"Earth to my baseball writing buddies: We all love the new numbers, but lets (sic) not worship false idols. When I published my Total Average numbers (in the early '80s), I'd always emphasize that while stats were wonderful, common sense was better. When stats WILDLY contradict common sense, always doubts the stats. In the case of the goofy gap between Pujols' VORP of 96.8 and Howard's 35.3, my reaction is 'Time to revisit VORP. If it can be this wrong, it's not as good as I tought it was.'
"It's said that, to a man with a hammer, everything looks like a nail. To a modern baseball writer, unfortunately, reality often looks like an excuse to apply statistics and then torque our opinions to fit them."
"... you have to underline the obvious; for example, a first baseman with 146 RBI is 'more valuable,' especially when he plays on a first-place team, than a first baseman (Pujols) with 116 RBI on a fourth-place team.
"Don't analyze beyond that. True, Howard can't field (19 errors). And Pujols outhit him by .357 to .251. Howard strikes out a ton while Pujols walks constantly. But none of it outweighs Howard's RBI total, built on his .320 average with runners in scoring position. For what it's worth, Howard wasn't even in the top half dozen in baseball in runners-on-base when he came to the plate. His 146 RBI wasn't a fluke. He's Mr. Multi-Run Homer."
There are not enough hours in the day to figure out where everything should be arranged on the Scale of Hilarity.
Pujols hit .339 with runners in scoring position -- 19 points higher than Ryan Howard. Who's torquing the statistics, exactly?
Pujols drove in 79 of the 201 runners who were on second or third base when he batted -- 39.3%. Howard drove in 98 of 259 -- 37.8%. Howard had more RBI opportunities.
Two paragraphs after saying it doesn't matter that Howard "can't field" Boswell cites fielding in his argument for American League MVP: "(Justin) Morneau is just a first baseman." Uh, what other position does a National League team, with no DH, have for a 270-lb. man who throws left-handed?
As far as the Total Average stat Boswell created two decades ago goes, Bill James found out that when you figured out for entire teams, those who "actually scored 600 runs ranked ahead of those who scored 700." (The Mind of Bill James, pg. 52)
It is best to leave the closers-as-MVPs argument alone. It's a dead issue.
A truth is , as James himself put it in the days before almost everyone had a high-speed Internet connection and every bozo had a blog, "I would give a week's pay to have Boswell working at a K.C. newspaper. He's good."
Anyone who is the best at what he or she does learns to swing with the times, taking what's worked and blending in the new. To be quite honest, a lot of the stuff you see when you go down the rabbit hole (fist bump: Pete Toms) at Baseball Think Factory is way over my head. It seems like VORP and WPA/LI and the stats which have been established to evaluate fielders are best used to give context, to help figure out what to emphasis among the meat-and-potatoes numbers (home runs, ERA, on-base percentage and such) that most fans understand.
Give it time -- as my friend Neil Acharya points out, 20 years ago you never heard on-base percentage mentioned on a baseball telecast, now it's flashed on screen when a player comes to bat.
It takes time. One would have hoped that was true of such a giant of baseball writing. I can never watch Ken Burns' Baseball the same way again. Then again, this validates those among you who didn't watch it the first time.
(That bit of mid-19th century wiseassery from Emerson comes in handy when you work in the media, by the way. Poz, as commenter notes, handled this topic too, with considerably more élan.)
Fox Sports cutting to a commercial during O Canada is tacky -- but it's like expecting the class clown not to make armpit noises during a school assembly.
The point is, you almost look forward to it with Fox. One less than endearing Canadian trait is that we often overanalyze American interpretations of us, just to look for the boo-boos. It's kind of like the nerd who adds to the goofs section on the Internet Movie Database. Watching how Fox, the broadcast arm of the hyperbole-industrial complex, utterly ignored this country's baseball fans during the baseball All-Star Game telecast from Yankee Stadium, though, you can't blame us for feeling that way.
It happens too often. We are forced to keep score at home. No one in Canada would have known about this right away, save for the fact globesports.com's Jeff Blair blogged it, but MLB did have O Canada. While Sheryl Crow performed The Star-Spangled Banner, there was a recorded version of our national anthem, with no singer. The only reason it was even seen in Canada, ironically enough, was due to a screwup by the Canadian rights holder.
Think about it. Months of planning and preparation went into this Bronx bonanza, but MLB couldn't find anyone to sing O Canada. Hey, it's not like there were an unprecedented three Canadians in the game. In fairness, New York City isn't swimming in unknown performers who just need a break.
This very well could be the old Canadian insecurity talking. Doesn't it seem like U.S. broadcasters constantly betray a lack of broadcast preparation when it comes anything Canadian? The half-assed treatment of our anthem was just the tip of the iceberg.
What happened was that that chill bump-raising pregame ceremony introducing virtually every living Hall of Famer wrapped up and Fox went to a commercial break. That's not so bothersome. They had a lot of ads to squeeze in and the pregame ceremony was bound to run a little long.
On Sportsnet Pacific, the screen went to black for about 15-20 seconds. Then suddenly the feed came back, somewhere around the "from far and wide," although it was hard to be pinpoint it exactly, since there were no words. What, MLB couldn't spring for the airfare and a hotel room to get this singer down to New York City?
Any Canadian baseball nut who tuned to see a game that had an unprecedented three of our own playing in the Midsummer Classic -- the L.A. Dodgers catcher Russell Martin, Cubs right-hander Ryan Dempster and Twins first baseman Justin Morneau -- saw half of a half-hearted treatment of our anthem.
In the top of the fourth, Roy Halladay came on to pitch. Joe Buck called the four-time All-Star Holliday (no, he plays for the Colorado Rockies -- as Amrit pointed out, he homered an inning later, but not off his AL near-namesake). A few moments later, Tim McCarver, referred to the Jays' home stadium as the "Rogers Dome." (Well, it has only had Rogers' corporate on it since 2005, and it is a dome.)
Hopefully Jays president Paul Godfrey wasn't expecting any quid pro quo for persisting in playing God Bless America during the seventh-inning stretch at the Rogers Centre long after many U.S. teams discontinued the practice.
It was a slap in the face. They skimped on an anthem singer and then Joe and Tim skim over some basic prep work for the broadcast involving a Canadian-based player. It comes off as saying, hey, it's Canada, what does it matter?
This isn't coming from someone who's resolutely anti-American. There's so much they do better than Canada -- sports, movies, politically motivated witchhunts, Trials of the Century, showing celebrities at their worst, subtle political satire. How many Canadians who couldn't get anywhere creatively in this country have made it big down there?
One of the funnier aspects about that line "where else can even paperboy option the film rights to a book?" in that Bruce McCulloughKids In The Hall monologue, In America, is that it has a grain of truth. The U.S is still the country for the dreamers, the lottery players. Canada is where your life is just a job you have to finish, although that's probably just as true for most Americans (that's why country music is so popular in both countries).
Getting back to the point, no Canadian broadcaster would ever think to go to commercial during the American anthem. We're way too eager to ingratiate ourselves with the Americans. Our government even let American fighter pilots do a flyover over the U.S. ambassador's residence in Ottawa on July 4, as well we should have. We would never consider not giving our American friends equal consideration.
Down south, they figure there's no need to bother with acknowledging Canada, but then again, we are kind of boring.
You think Buck and McCarver mentioned that there were three Canadians in the game? Don't be foolish.
(How sweet was it to see the full range of Martin's talents -- hitting, going first-to-third on a single, working the plate -- and to see Morneau score the winning run?)
Forget it, it's the Bronx
Capping the pregame hoopla by wheeling in George Steinbrenner was lame. Only the Yankees would have the gall to be so obvious about ripping off the scene in Boston in 1999, when the presence of Ted Williams, in evident poor health, turned Fenway Park into a giant kiss-and-cry area at a figure skating competition.
There's no moral high ground in begrudging an 78-year-old plutocrat in his sunset years becoming America's grandpa. That said, you can sub in "baseball owners" into that line from Chinatown about how "politicians, ugly buildings, and whores all get respectable if they last long enough" and it fits the scene to a tee. It's no wonder he didn't get a big ovation from the crowd.
Painting Steinbrenner in such a glowing light, giving him more of a spotlight than Hank Aaron, Ernie Banks, George Brett, Mike Schmidt and Frank Robinson, et al., is a whitewash. Sorry, but there's no way to be objective about Steinbrenner.
In the back half of his time running the Yankees, he was the best owner in sports. However, you have to remember that for at least as long, probably longer, he was the worst owner in sports. He demeaned players and managers, ran roughshod over people who had no way of fighting back, traded in thinly veiled racism to try and shake down NYC for a new stadium -- remember when he kept saying the area around the Stadium was "too scary" -- and damn near destroyed the Yankee tradition.
A generation ago, Goose Gossage, one of the Yankees legends involved in the first-ball ceremony (four first balls? Really?), said, "George always like to talk about the Yankee tradition. When did he ever play for the Yankees?"
Gossage was right the first time. The Yankees can recognize Steinbrenner on their own time, like before their final home game of the season, rather than shoving it down the throats of fans whose teams don't have $209-million payrolls. The rewriting of history is well underway.
Plus there was the time he invited himself to Costanza's wedding.
The best hitters in the game (and Jason Varitek) went 3-for-28 with runners in scoring position. Basically, it was like a Jays intrasquad game.
Everyone will be having a lot of fun with the story about Ichiro Suzuki's not-G-rated Gipper speech.
Great lines from ShysterBall: "The baseball luminaries are riding in 100 Chevy Silverados. Baseball's carbon footprint is taking a beating this evening.
"This thing reminds me of the Macy's parade. I hope I didn't tune in too late to see the David Wells balloon."
Dustin McGowan's not out for the season. Even better news: He never watches movies that star Bill Murray.
Via Uni Watch, here's a great trivia question: Who was the first player to play in an All-Star Game wearing Blue Jays gear? OK, It was Ruppert Jones, an outfielder in the '70s and '80s who never played for the Jays. How did he pull that off?
Lastly, how much more informal was baseball back in 1967, the only previous time the game went 15 innings? Mickey Mantle was on the American League team that season, but didn't feel like he rated the honour, so he flew from Dallas to Anaheim, arrived after the game had started, pinch-hit for the starting pitcher in the third inning, struck out, and flew back to Dallas. The game was still going when he met up with his buddies at the country club.
It's too bad that OPS+ wasn't around in in 1967. For a guy who was supposedly done, The Mick had an OPS+ of 150. Most players never get close to that in their entire career.
(Digression: Searching for the McCullough monologue turned up the greatest cold opening in television history. Try to work "guilty, but with various good excuses" into conversation whenever possible.)
Repeatedly finishing behind Queen's in the OUA women's hockey standings for the past few seasons has apparently motivated the Western Mustangs to fire a little YouTube montage across the Golden Gaels' collective bow.
Far be it to suggest that this is a little lacking in creativity — count the clichés! — and further proof that the school in London can at least count on taking the cake being a bigger Conformity Now! factory when it comes to preppy Ontario universities.
Mustangs goalie Brittany O'Halloran is the mastermind behind the clip. There's no harm in a little good-natured trash talk back and forth on the Internets and besides, if it takes a YouTube clip to get you motivated for a game, you're probably beyond getting motivated.
A word to the wise(r): Pleease don't use this to make generalizations about Western folk, who are some the best folk around (Stephen Brunt graduated from its J-school, whereas some of us couldn't get in). This is not indicative of anything: Surely, Western's alumni counts plenty of free-thinking creative types who can come up with anything on the same level of creativity as — random examples — The Tragically Hip's, The Arrogant Worms' and Sarah Harmer's song catalogs, the by-all-accounts brilliant Evil Dead: The Musical, the writings of Judith Thompson, Steven Heighton and Robertson Davies or a good chunk of the content of Cracked.com. All of which, by the way, came from people associated with Queen's.
(It's not like OOLF isn't gracious toward the Mustangs — congratulations to the Western men's eight crew for their victory at the Royal Henley Regatta in England today. Rob Gibson and Will Crothers of Kingston were part of an under-23 men's eight crew that won its race.)
Don't criticize what you can't understand. It's always seemed like a good rule, one the sports journalists of a certain vintage would do well to follow (maybe they need Red Green, sitting his workshop: "I wanna talk to all you middle-aged hockey writers out there.")
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