Snark break...

Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin to slit throats ... hey, that was way too clever ... you're one of them!

More great headlines that can never be written: The story about the Cleveland Browns' Joshua Cribbs wanting to renegotiate his contract begged for the header, "Cribbs sheet outta luck."

It's no surprise the UFC wants to stage another fight card in Montréal. They must have been scouting for new talent after Game 7 of the Habs-Bruins series.

No word of a lie: On FIBA's website for the Olympic men's basketball tournament, Raptors point guard José Calderón's current club is listed as "Toronto Raptors, NBA (USA)." Someone at FIBA didn't get the joke.

(Jorge Garbajosa's current club is also listed as the Raptors. One thing at a time...)

Last but not least, it's gonna be tough for the Seattle Mariners to replace José Vidro's production (.612 OPS before being DFA'd yesterday). Should they try letting the starting pitcher bat?

You'd have to be a real bastard of an Ottawa-based sports lover to want to place a curse on the nuptials of the couple who's getting married on the field before a Lehigh Valley IronPigs game ... uh, let's just stop right there.