Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Snark break...

Getting the grouch out before coffee break ...

It stinks that the Yankees went back on their practice of confiscating fans' sunblock and making them pay a huge markup for a replacement tube. How often do you get a chance to write the headline, Yankees Greed Beyond The Pale or The Yankees Don't Care About White People?

$5 for a one-ounce tube of SPF 15 sunblock? That gives new meaning to greasing people.

Here's what what some would write if some overpaid gutless puke like, say, the Jays' A.J. Burnett, had started that game for the Mets last night.

This is why Johan Santana makes people scream: He is pitching brilliantly. He has a three-run lead against a Philadelphia team with first place in the NL East on the line. And the Mets bullpen gives up six runs in the ninth inning to lose the game.

That's the difference between being a grouch for a few minutes and being one full-time.

It's great to be young and a Canadian Patriot... the best summation of New England Patriots Nick Kaczur's legal situation: "Kaczur will have to pay $355 in fines and fees. You or I would be living an episode of Oz in similar circumstances."

Garrett Reid, troubled son of Eagles coach Andy Reid, has been sentenced to two years in drug rehab. While there, he'll get clean, learn to love himself and figure out why his dad never drafts any decent receivers.

(Obviously, you never joke about drug addiction, unless it's an actor or a pro athlete..)

Canada is introducing its flag-bearer for the Beijing Olympics opening ceremony today. They should pick the 61-year-old equestrian Ian Millar, since he might have actually been in the first Olympics -- in Athens. (What kind of saddle sores did he get riding the horse nude?)

The Canadian Olympic Association could also go with Alexandre Despatie, as the flagbearer. That way, Sidney Crosby can make it two divers in a row in 2010.

With respect to the WNBA brawl: Well, people were promised it would be electric between the L.A. Sparks and the Detroit Shock. David Stern is so mad that he already suspended Ron Artest indefinitely.

That's all it was? It's actually good to see the WNBA show some bite. Please don't go thinking that a rumble will spark American interest in the league -- it doesn't. Just ask the NHL.

Still wouldn't be something if these teams -- which teams were they again? -- meet in the WNBA final?

The OHL's Peterborough Petes introduced their new coach yesterday. There's a novel concept, eh, Doug Springer?

No comments: