ALLARD: IT'S CRYIN' BRYAN'S SPARTA-CATASTROPHE

The strong urge raised by the Ottawa media's post-mortem for The Great Capital Crapout is to parody the closing credits of Ferris Bueller's Day Off ... "You're still here? It's over," -- dismissive backhand wave -- "go home!" Jean-Pierre Allard was a first explainer of the greatest late-season gag job in NHL history, so he has carte blanche -- as The Globe & Mail has realized.

The Senators turtled against the Ducks in last year's Stanley Cup final around the time that Ray Emery got bored and went snooping around for Snoop Dogg's entourage, I wrote this.

My argument was that no one on the Senators was untouchable and that if the right offer came along for since-axed GM John Muckler, then he should give it some thought.

For anyone still in denial mode, then how about this from January 2008?

Or even this just a mere month later?

Or we could go back to January 2007 to see that the so-called Damian Rhodes Scholars at the helm of the Senators continue to fail their Senstory 101.

Alas, Mr. M fired the wrong Mr. M. last summer and another Mr. M suddenly was in charge which prompted 81-year old Montreal Gazette institution Red Fisher to write last June that Muckler should have received another chance. What is clear is that Bryan Murray was not and is still not the right GM for Ottawa.

If still in doubt about Murray, and the other 2 "Comperes" from the 3M Company, visit this
and you will no doubt be left wondering if this is really the actual transcript of the interviews conducted by the Ottawa Citizen's James Gordon or the script for tonight's Absolute Comedy gig.

I see that the blame game is in full swing in the aftermath of the Senators suffering yet another early exit from the real season. No one with a pen and notebook was responsible for losing the series, but they should look in the mirror when it been so hard moving past the Acceptance stage.

Isn't it time that they assume their rightful and responsible role of challenging some of the questionable decisions made by Bryan Murray, both as GM replacement for John Muckler and coach for John Paddock?

It seems to me that Mr. Murray is the chief architect of his own demise.

At least, Red Fisher would confirm this, and just might.

On a related front, it is simply unbelievable (astounding) that the big story in yesterday’s papers were Ray Emery, who hasn't played a game for the Senators in nearly two months and likely never will again.

Need to blame a goalie, Ottawa media?

How about pointing the finger at (sigh, again?) GM Bryan Murray for his failure to secure a No. 1 goalie, just like his predecessors? It's only been 11 years that the search for an elusive netminder capable of stealing games in the second season has been going on here. Note: TSN's James Duthie is clearly after my own heart.

Forget that Martin Gerber was stellar in keeping the score respectable against the Mighy Ducks, er, Penguins. Also remember that the power play was 1-for-13 and that the Senators, short of dressing Brian McGrattan, didn't have someone to score the dirty goal that an underdog team needs in a close series.

Hindsight is for the birdies, eagles and albatrosses … just like it is par for the course for the Ottawa Senators who have to go back to summer school, having once again failed miserably to learn their lessons.

Livin' on the ice on Cincinnati

Judging from the reaction in this town, it appears that fans may have finally learned theirs.

Not all will be lost if the Senators turned Rough Riders turned Athletics turned Nationals turned new Senators turned Lynx turned Renegades turned Rapid(e)s turned soon-to-be new CFL Team Version 3.0 eventually become the Cincinnati Stingers or some such thing. Scotiabank Place could literally be converted into a giant fishbowl, aka The Carp Aquarium, the only major attraction that this metropolitan city lacks.

Have a good summer.

See y'all at the ballpark on May 22.

Jean-Pierre Allard
Ottawa, Ontario
April 19, 2008