TWO MINUTES FOR BEING JAGOVS

It takes being a little bit judgmental and holier-than-thou to take great delight in that randy right winger, Sean Avery, being outed as a john in the pristine pages of the New York Daily News. Fortunately, that's most of us.

Honestly, though, it cannot stand that the Daily News has a madam's black book and the only client whose name gets in the story is the Canadian hockey player, not all these "wealthy, successful professionals" who are probably part of financial wheeling-dealings every week where enough money changes hands to buy guys such as Sean Avery and Neate Sager several times over. That's garbage. The again, it's the New York Daily News, whose masthead might as well read "Warning: May contain journalism-like substance."

(There's no sense it getting into whether prostitution should be legalized. That's a non-starter. The only way there would ever be political will to do it is if a couple of the more clean-cut, white-hat hockey players -- if there's a god, Mike Fisher of the Senators is next -- got pinched. Of course, if prostitution was legalized, then Maxim magazine goes out of business within three months. Without Maxim, Sean Avery wouldn't have any idea about what to look for in a girl. There's the invisible hand of Adam Smith right there.)

The only story here is that a hockey player likes sex. Some scoop. Respectable hockey blogs won't even touch it with a 10-foot composite stick.

Poor Avery has just enough of that sheltered small-town jock naivety in him that he actually talked to those trolls, instead of turning off his cellphone. The fact he did only proves that if you don't like Sean Avery, you're legally dead.

It's either that or this conforms an earlier theory that Avery's whole shtick, whether or not he is even conscious of it, is intended to push people's thresholds the grand comic tradition of Andy Kaufman or Lenny Bruce. If that's the case, then Avery burned himself in order to pull off an even bigger burn on those tabloid twerps and all their enablers in the legitimate media who follow up on this claptrap.

Attaboy, Avery.

Related:
Sean Avery in hooker's little black block (N.Y. Daily News)
Client Number 16: Avery and Spitzer Connected By More Than New York (Deadspin)