CAN'T SPELL DUPE OF YORK WITHOUT D-O-R-K

Cursed be The Tao of Stieb for linking to a Marty York column today. Generally, doing posts that are just responses to columns should be avoided, but it's a slow day and York was in rare form in that freebie commuter paper ... it just couldn't be avoided.

Normally, York's stupidity would be water over the bridge, but an exception can be made. You probably heard that the Halifax Daily News shut down yesterday and a free commuter daily is taking its place. The normal human response is to say, there but for the grace of God go I, but to York, sudden unemployment of real journalists = comedy gold!

"The CFL will have to live with this: Metro newspapers have beaten the league to
the punch by expanding to Halifax."

That's funny, that's a fucking funny joke. Tell it to the former Daily News-ies who were thrown out of work yesterday. They could sure use a laugh.

Anyway, it looks like former Jays outfielder Shawn Green, at 35, is having a hard time finding a team to take him on for next season:

"The Cincinnati Reds are close to signing 37-year-old outfielder Kenny Lofton, which makes what's happening to Green even more incomprehensible."

Based on what, that Lofton is older than Shawn Green? Did York watch Logan's Run on AMC very late at night? Hate to scare him, but Lofton is ... dramatic music ... forty years old. He also can still play centre-field and was slightly more productive in the American League than Green was in the crappier NL last season:

Lofton: .882 OPS, 5.8 runs created/game
Green: .881 OPS, 5.4 runs created/game

If a baseball team needed a lefty hitter who can set the table, it might sign Kenny Lofton. If it needed lefty power in the 6- or 7-hole, it might pick up Shawn Green.

Somehow it didn't occur to York that the Reds might have more use for Lofton. They already have some lefty power, including Ken Griffey, who not only plays the same position as Green but is referenced in the same column and Joey Votto, who is from Toronto. Their two options to play centre-field and lead off, Norris Hopper and Ryan Freel, are both righties.

Then again, Lofton is five whole years older than Shawn Green. This principle should guide all decisions. Suppose a a Hollywood casting director is choosing who's going to play the male lead in the studio's big Oscar-grab prestige picture. Why would she cast 64-year-old Robert De Niro when you could go with 33-year-old Jerry O'Connell?

That's incomprehensible. They better just bag it and do a remake of Logan's Run. Perhaps they can shoot some of it in Halifax, where there's some talented people who could use the work.