FRANK THOMAS LEARNS TO SPEAK CANADIAN

This snuck up on Blue Jays fans: Frank Thomas is reportedly close to signing with the team.

(Here's ESPN.com and Rogers Sportsnet stories, and Batter's Box has a discussion going.)

Once you get over the sticker shock, here's a few things to keep in mind if the future Hall of Famer does end up as a Jay:

1. The door is open to trading Vernon Wells. Thomas was slightly better offensively than Wells last year, with 7.22 runs created per 27 outs to Wells' 7.11. Having Thomas, Troy Glaus and Lyle Overbay as 3-4-5 hitters is good enough for a contending team.
   
   There's no replacing Vernon's defence in centre-field, but the Jays might gamble that they would be OK with Adam Lind in left, Alex Rios in centre and Reed Johnson in right. It also means Frank Catalanatto could come back to be the fourth outfielder.
   
   (Back in the summer, it was suggested that Jays could trade Wells to San Diego for a package that would include Padres shortstop Khalil Greene and an outfielder. You could modify that for Greene, a starting pitcher and an outfielder.)
2. If Wells stays, then free agents Catalanatto and Ted Lilly won't be re-signed. If Vernon's still around, the Jays probably end up with a modified left-field platoon of lefty Lind starting against some righties and righty Johnson playing the rest of the time and coming in for late-inning defence. As for Lilly, the Diasuke Matsuzaka derby has driven up the price for all pitchers, and someone's going to throw mad money at him that the Jays likely won't be able to match. That leaves a rotation of Roy Halladay, A.J. Burnett, Gustavo Chacin, and two other guys.
3. J.P. Ricciardi is being J.P. again: He's being aggressive, probably figuring that the Jays need to match the production from the DH spot -- especially in on-base percentage -- that the Evil Empires get from David Ortiz and Jason Giambi, respectively.
   
   This could be slammed as a signing that shows no evidence of sage, long-term planning, especially since most Jays fans figured a full-time DH was way down the priority list after finding a catcher, a middle infielder to play alongside Aaron Hill (who should be at second base) and middle relievers to replace Justin Speier and Scott Schoeneweis.
4. Glaus' back is probably healthy. Deductive reasoning, sure, but the big third baseman he must be healthy if the Jays are signing a player who can only DH.
5. Frank Thomas will hit his 500th career home run as a Blue Jay, but Carlos Delgado won't. Think about that for a second. By the way, what's it going to cost the Big Hurt to get Overbay to part with his No. 35?

That's all for now. Send your thoughts to neatesager@yahoo.ca.