BLOG BLAST PAST, NO. 9: METSMERIZED

The New York Mets, who open the National League Championship Series tomorrow night against the St. Louis Cardinals, fairly deserve a Blog Blast Past due to all the fun this space has had at their expense.

Here's three Mets-related posts, all of which were linked by Deadspin:

SOME FAKE BASEBALL NEWS DELIVERED BY JERRY SEINFELD'S APPARENT LONG-LOST SON (Aug. 20)
It's the story of a Ryan Leli, the Long Island teen who was arrested for impersonating a journalist at Shea Stadium. What was funny that the kid's MySpace Page left reason to believe he had been pulling these stunts for a while, since he had pictures of him with every male celebrity except for Jerry Seinfeld. Oh, and as Denver blogger Gabe Stein noted, those guys behind Tom Cruise are "clearly his Scientology goons. Quite clearly."

IN A WAY, WE ALL PLAYED FIRST BASE (June 21)
Some other bloggers called out ex-Metropolitans first baseman Keith Hernandez, now a TV analyst, for false-hipsterness during a broadcast: "I like Eddie Vedder ... I like him when he’s solo more than…with the band."

I hypothesized that Keith still had a complex over failing to seal the deal with Elaine Benes during his 1992 guest shot on Seinfeld.

"His dilemma, his struggle, his pathos, is that of all guys:

"A) trying to act cool to impress women;
B) thinking someone you dated or had an unrequited crush on a virtual lifetime ago is still interested.

"We all do it. We all labour under the deep-down delusion that Christina Hall or Alison Migneault or whatever her name may be is waiting by the phone, when in all probability she's forgotten you, assuming she even knew your name in the first place.

"... You have to move on, Keith. Yes, you were a baseball player, you won the MVP in '79, and you can do whatever you want -- and I say this with an unblemished record of staunch heterosexuality, Just For Men has helped you look not half-bad for 52 years old.

"... it was only a TV show, and it was 14 years ago. Move on."

(That said, you can't blame Keith if he was still smitten by Julia Louis-Dreyfus, even if her new show ain't that all fired great. Oh, and those names that appeared there? Totally plucked out of the ether at random. Not a real person who might have crossed my path. No sirree.)

TOP 5: NEW YORK BASEBALL SEX SCANDALS (Aug. 14)
Babe Ruth's "bellyache," left-handed pitchers trading wives (and kids, and dogs), some strange "action" in the Mets bullpen and Cleon Jones' strange sleeping habits ... members of the Gotham hardball concerns have had some odd affairs of the heart down through the years.

Still, no one can top Luis Polonia's embarrassing moment. Fortunately for Luis, his little peccadillo happened when the Yankees were No. 2 behind the Mets in the New York tabloid pecking order.

Previous Blog Blasts Past: Remembering Tom Cheek, Movie Love Interests, Girlfriend-Friendly Sports Movies, Garth Snow This To Your Friends, The One and Only Warren Zevon, Damn Vikings, Me 'N' Adnan V.

Anyway, enough grab-assing around here. Time to deliver some half-witted LCS previews. Send your thoughts to neatesager@yahoo.ca.