NOW WE'RE NO. 2? MORE LIKE A TOWERS OF (SLIM) HOPE

The stuff you may have missed after your girlfriend sent you to the store to load up on Kleenex for the premiere of Brothers and Sisters:

BASEBALL STUFF

• Yesterday, the Detroit Tigers celebrated winning ... well, what did they win? The Tigers had a victory party after beating the Royals last night to clinch the Olde English D's first playoff berth in 19 years, but they're still only 11⁄2 games ahead of Minnesota with six to play. Oh, and the Tigers have now won 14 of 15 games against Kansas City this year, sweeping this weekend's series by a combined score of 33-11.
• Boston's Kevin Youkilis looked like he was playing left-field on roller skates yesterday during the Evil Empire 1-A's 13-4 shellacking at the hands of the Blue Jays. The Jays are only a half-game out of the second place now (Shawn Marcum starts tonight in the final home game of the season), but guess what? They finish out the season against the Tigers and Yankees, who are both playoff-bound. Who do the Red Sox get? Tampa Bay and Baltimore, who are bound for a resort somewhere south of Corpus Christi.
  
  Oh, and Josh Towers is scheduled to make two starts, according to the pitching probables. If you happen to tune in and haven't seen Towers play before, don't let the single-digit number (No. 7) fool you: That's not a backup outfielder pitching during a blowout.
• Cool Standings is projecting the Philadelphia Phillies to hold off the L.A. Dodgers for the National League wild-card spot. Next weekend, the San Francisco Giants could help eliminate L.A. in what might be Barry Bonds' last hours as a Giant, or a National Leaguer.

FOOTBALL...

• Got your Vikings-Bears analysis right here.
• So who's going to play Chris Simms in the TV movie? The Tampa Bay quarterback ended up losing his spleen but managed to finish the game. Maybe Napoleon Dynamite star Jon Heder could fill the role, so long as he stays away from Uncle Rico's throwing motion.
• To make up for being a little rough on the Western Mustangs, it should be noted that their former star receiver Andy Fantuz scored his first two CFL touchdowns, including the game-winner in overtime, to give the Saskatchewan Roughriders a 23-20 win over B.C. in a typically zany CFL contest.
  
  The game also marked the CFL comeback of one the most magnificently named people in sports, former Ottawa Renegades wide receiver Yo Murphy. There aren't many wideouts in the CFL or NFL who can say they come from Idaho or have been around so long that they once played for the Scottish Claymores, but the 35-year-old Murphy can say both. Oh, and talk about your Freudian slips: On his website, the much-travelled Murphy says he's never "waivered," although he certainly has been cut by more than one football team.
• How much money could you have won beating that J.P. Losman would have a 300-yard passing performance, but that the Buffalo Bills would lose?
• Yours truly favourite football teams on both sides of the border all lost on the weekend. That would be the Toronto Argonauts, Queen's Golden Gaels, Minnesota Vikings and the team that was playing Notre Dame.

HOCKEY

• Not sure what the Leafs (who lost 3-2 to the Senators last night in an exhibition game at Halifax) are going to do about their goaltending situation: Andrew Raycroft, Mikael Tellqvist and J.S. Aubin, have all played well in the pre-season. Raycroft is the confirmed No. 1, but you have to figure Tellqvist would have the most value in a trade and Aubin would be most comfortable being a backup.

That's all for now. Send your thoughts to neatesager@yahoo.ca.