Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Tuesday afternoon ...

What's not bothering you today, since it's all raisins off an Oldsmobile ... oh, and an Islanders beat writer says the team will take Matt Duchene No. 1 overall.

... Being the only person who ever saw a resemblance between Oren Koules and Michael Bluth from Arrested Development (it was the hair). The comparison is totally apt, considering what's happened to the Tampa Bay Lightning. At this rate, they'll soon be holding a Save Our Bolts fundraiser?

... CBC going ahead with a figure skating reality show. At least they showed a sense of humour by casting Glenn Anderson and Stéphane Richer as figure skaters. Talk about meta.

... Rosie DiManno getting into it with the entire city of Hamilton after she called it "a dump." Shame on her for violating the unwritten rule to never to point out the Hammer's failings in print. She missed the point that people love Hamilton, Ontario, the way you love a three-legged, half-blind, hard-of-hearing dog with a flatulence problem (so sayeth the guy whose sister and brother-in-law live in Stoney Creek, so hold the hate mail).

... ESPN.com failing to put Peyton Manning on its All-Decade NFL team.

... sports columnists who go on about the Tiger-and-Phil overkill during major golf tournaments. Please just explain to people that the way it works is the PGA's corporate sponsors expect the big names who move product to get more camera time, regardless of the leaderboard. Looking for serious storytelling on a golf broadcast is like looking for chastity in a cathouse.

... Peter C. Newman saying Heather Reisman "saved the publishing industry." Apparently saved is synonymous with running independent booksellers and small publishing houses out of business, but hey, Newman's books still sell at Chapters once they're marked down to $9.99.

... the MuchMusic Video Awards getting a worse ass-kicking than Perez Hilton. CBC got twice as many viewers by showing Happy Gilmore, a 13-year-old comedy.

7 comments:

Tao of Stieb said...

What is this, Bob Loblaw's Law Blog?

Dennis Prouse said...

Who says the CBC always makes bad decisions? Happy Gilmore was made the year before my son was born, and he was quite keen to see it again. It's a comedy classic a la Caddyshack.

The Jonas Brothers also have a pretty niche appeal right now. They are still, first and foremost, a boy band. That's a rut from which they need to break out ASAP.

I have to believe the Islanders are just messing with people's heads right now. As dumb as they are, they couldn't possibly screw up this pick, could they? For as nice a hockey player as Duchesne is, there is no way he can compare to Tavares. Tavares should have been in the NHL last year. With all the power plays we now see in the league, the kid is a guaranteed 80-90 point player right out of the chute.

Anonymous said...

I've gone to sporting events (followed by the obligatory bender)in both TO and the Hammer, and I'll take Hamilton anyday. Nicer people, better dives. Give me Ivor Wynne over Rogers™ Centre anyday. The only thing that Toronto has on Hamilton is that it's closer to Ottawa.

"three-legged, half-blind, hard-of-hearing dog with a flatulence problem" is much better description of Rosie than it is of Hamilton...

eyebleaf said...

Happy Gilmore is one of the greatest movies of all time.

"You know that 'Mista-Mista' lady? I think I just, uh, killed her."

sager said...

@ Dennis: We all know Vancouver beats 'em all hands-down. Seriously, though, at some point people have to get past the Loser Canadian ritual of Toronto-bashing. New York it ain't (more like a small Chicago or a milder Minneapolis), but the 21st century is going to belong to city-states and it is where the action is, like it or not.

@ eyebleaf: If we're talking "Adam Sandler in an Adam Sandler movie," I'll go with Billy Madison. I watched Happy Gilmore on Sunday, though. Good call, CBC, even though you show that movie at least once every summer and you also showed bowdlerized versions of Pulp Fiction and Old School!

"Doing the bull dance, feeling the flow."

sager said...

Oops, confused Dennis and Anon. guy!

eyebleaf said...

Chubbs' reaction to seeing Happy celebrating on television is ingrained in my mind.

"What are you doing, Happy? Ridin' a bull? You're acting like a damn fool!"