Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Tell them this idea sucks; let 'em know you're there

It's not news, exactly, but now that the Slap Shot remake has a director, it's best to record any objections.

In terms of bad ideas, this is somewhere in between Greedo shooting first and the Ottawa Senators giving their three biggest contracts to three forwards. It is a "cherry on the sundae of suck" (/Film, August 2008) that Hollywood is so hard up for ideas that it just it's going to bowdlerize a sports movie that came from a specific time and place, the 1970s.

Granted, that was a period when America was down on its luck, which sounds somewhat germane to the times we're now living in. Honestly, though, the real fear is that all the other sports movies classics from the 1970s are going bowdlerized, bastardized and sanitized, which will be a shame. There was the Adam Sandler version of The Longest Yard; the Billy Bob Thornton-helmed Bad News Bears.

Bang The Drum Slowly and North Dallas Forty have to be in development. God. At least the hack who's rewriting Slap Shot, Peter Steinfeld, knows what he's up against:
“Right now I'm finishing writing the re-make of the iconic hockey movie Slap Shot for Universal. I’ve never had so many people hate me for writing something they haven’t seen yet. (Emphasis mine.) It’s such a classic film and fans of the original feel like I’m grave-robbing or something. But I think the movie will be really fun and will capture what it’s like to play minor league hockey in 2008. We haven’t set cast yet..."
Uh, Pete? They have seen it, and they don't care to have it revised by someone whos words such as "iconic" like it might win him an Amana gas range.

Related:
Slap Shot remake gets a director; Galaxy Quest’s Dean Parisot will tackle the job (Total Film)
Parisot skates to 'Slap Shot' remake; Universal sets director for update (Variety)

14 comments:

Ron Rollins said...

This is a travesty to the memory of Paul Newman. Why not just clean up the old one and re-release it?

What's next, a new Casablanca starring Tom Cruise?

Dennis Prouse said...

They did clean up the old one and re-release it. It was the 25th anniversary edition that came out on DVD a few years ago.

As for this re-make, I plan on keeping up my streak. I refused to watch Slapshot 2 or the recent direct to DVD disaster, and I will also refuse to see this one. I also refuse to buy any movie in the Rocky series other than the first one.

Dominik said...

You know what? Want to make a move to "capture what it's like to play minor hockey in 2008"?? Go right ahead! God knows we need more, er, a second good hockey movie.

Just don't call it f-ing "Slapshot," and don't copy all the characters. Damn tossers.

kinger said...

The only way they could get me to watch this is if they put "Right Back Where We Started From" in it somewhere. I love that song.

Anonymous said...

re:'Greedo shooting first'

Always love a good 'Jay and Silent Bob' reference!

Anonymous said...

I happen to operate a drive-in movie theatre and vow to you that should this film be released in the summertime, we will NOT play it. We will play the original (though the studio is unlikely to release a print of it to us at the same time). A classic like this, let alone ANY movie starring the great Paul Newman should NEVER be remade....

Anonymous said...

The only way they can remake this movie is to film it in Johnstown, PA with the Chiefs, like the original. This is a movie that can not be remade anywhere else. They would also need to do a lot of work not to trample on such a great classic movie. If they do not do this, I will be on a quest to burn every copy of film that is made for it.

Anonymous said...

This is horrible news, it's one thing for them to make an awful pair of movies sporting Slapshot's title, but remaking the original is blasphemy. Newman "owns owns" this movie.

Anonymous said...

This is a far worse idea than the instigator penalty, the Fox Trax puck and Def Leppard performing at the opening of the season combined...

Here's an idea; how about writing a NEW script about what it is like to play minor league hockey in 2009.

Anonymous said...

Remake Slapshot???? BUGGER OFF! If you can't write your own damn movie about hockey and need to pirate a cult classic, then you need to stick your head back in the sand where it came from and go about in your own blissful ignorance! There really is only one Slapshot movie (the so-called sequels were bad ideas), stop ripping off old movies and pretending to "add new elements" to them. Idiots!

Duane Rollins said...

I'd actually welcome a new movie inspired by Slap Shot. Maybe even with the odd cameo thrown in.

But a straight re-make? What’s the point? A lot of the charm of the original is the dated look. Plus, as Neate said, it was a satire of a time that no longer exists.

There is a lot of satire in hockey now to tap into, however...

sager said...

Honestly, if you're going to remake Slapshot, set it around 1998, one of those teams that were in the book Zamboni Rodeo. That would be the best time to capture the sheer, unadulterated ludicrosity of the Bettman era.

Anonymous said...

This is a travesty. Not only the best hockey movie of all time but one of the funniest movies in general. Watch for the obligatory cameo of the hanson Bros. Newman would spin in his grave whats next remaking The Sting. I hope they have someone good in mind to play the role which means no Will Ferrel.

Anonymous said...

GOD NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Whay mess with a classic??? This is just proof that Hollywood SUCKS and as dry as dinosaur bones!!!