Snark break... there's a reason God made Oklahoma

Troy Murphy missed the Indiana Pacers' game last night with flu-like symptoms and the Sixers' Elton Brand is out for a month after injuring his shoulder this week ... that's what you get for renaming your fantasy team Säger Bombs.

You probably heard this already: What do the Raptors have in a common with a frozen pond? No boards.

You could see that loss to the Oklahoma City Thunder coming from all the way from Seattle.

People always said Jason Spezza (who believe it or not, is sympathetic figure in all this) would rewrite the NHL record book. Is there an entry for the most expensive healthy scratch in NHL history? (Yes, blame one of the only three players on your team who can score a goal. That always works.)

The World Junior Hockey Championship is a great event to survive TSN's coverage. During Canada's exhibition (sorry, "pre-competition" win) over Sweden, rink-level reporter James Cybulski gives this speech about how touched the players were by meeting troops at CFB Petawawa and how they appreciate that the soldiers are "giving us the greatest gift of all, our freedom," which of course is a complete crock since no one has ever tried to occupy Canada, since it's too big, too cold and doesn't get ESPN. So right after that sick-making spiel, Canada scores off the next faceoff. See? You can't say anything.

Remember when the city of Anaheim sued the Angels when they adopted name Los Angeles? That one is finally over, $3.7 million in fees to the city's attorneys later. It's still better than having to deal with Scott Boras.

The International Bowl is among the 5 worst bowl games, according to some guy in Utah.

From Mike Bianchi at the Orlando Sentinel:

"The Arena League is making the same mistake hockey made when it canceled its season a few years ago: It's never a good thing when you go away and nobody misses you."

R.I.P., Dock Ellis. The Doc who pitches in Toronto might throw a no-hitter one of these days, but he'll never do it while on LSD.

Last but not least, it's the final game at Texas Stadium tonight, but the Dallas Cowboys never pulled off anything like Plano East-John Tyler back in 1994 (the whole blog-reading world has seen this, but it never get old).