Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Snark break ...

The AHL's Syracuse Crunch is paying tribute to Paul Newman by raising Reggie Dunlop's No. 7 to the rafters at the Syracuse War Memorial, where part of Slap Shot was filmed. Any chance they will invite the actor who played Tim McCracken, the head coach and chief punk on that Syracuse team?

You are forgiven for thinking the A on Chris Pronger's sweater stands for something other than "alternate captain." Everyone had that same thought.

There's still a desire to see The Express, but evidently the film depicts West Virginia fans heaping racial abuse on Ernie Davis in 1959, even though Syracuse didn't play them that season. (Why pick on people from West Virginia, Hollywood? Because you can.)

More great headlines that can never be written: "Carpentier getting the f--k out of Dodge."

Patrick Carpentier will probably be fine, so please don't joke that he'll end up in the NASCAR Canadian Tire Series, which is a lateral move from driving a tour bus. By the way, is it true the drivers' purses on that circuit are paid out in Canadian Tire money?

(A Francophone driver in NASCAR? That should have been the premise for a summer comedy.)

Thank god that Ottawa teen hockey phenom Ryan Spooner was drafted by the Peterborough Petes instead of the Kingston Frontenacs, who chose one pick earlier. If he'd gone to the Fronts, there would be no NHL superstars to compare him with.

(Erik Gudbranson will be the first. Pinky swear it.)

Yes, not-so-presidential John McCain did refer to Senator Barack Obama as "that one" during the presidential debate.

Time for a game of, "Who is this?" Two years ago, you couldn't turn on a TV without seeing his face or hearing his nails-on-a-chalkboard croooning. Last week, he put out a press release touting his triumphant return to "singing and raising money for breast cancer research," but no serious news outlet paid any attention.

Not that anyone asked, but: It's quite simple why this site has never made a Jägerbombs/Sagerbombs joke. No one wants to be associated with a drink favoured by bitchy bachelorette parties, moronic millennials, fauxhawked fancyboys, overstressed and undersexed office workers and myriad others who have to be seen having a good time.

Shame on anyone for making a joke that panders to those types. A man worthwhile is good with Jack and coke. If it's consumed alone, even better.

On the plus side, the Jäger/Sager connection might put an end to the pain of being of a Sager and forever hearing your last name pronounced Seger. That hasn't been cool since 1978.

This post is worth nothing, but this is worth noting:

  • Michael Lewis of Moneyball and The Blind Side fame (and other books which were also not really about sports) is going to be writing for Vanity Fair.
  • Do yourself a favour. Buy Chuck Klosterman's Downtown Owl. It's the first book I've read in a long while where I only laughed a half-hour straight after getting to the end.
  • Please add Troy Nunes Is An Absolute Magician to your Google Reader, even if you don't follow the Syracuse Orange teams. This might be the greatest bad roommate story ever told.
  • Ottawa's Tyler Holmes, who is starting at left tackle for the Tulsa Golden Hurricane as a freshman, could end up playing in the Liberty Bowl.

1 comment:

Dennis Prouse said...

Tyler is a redshirt freshman, but a freshman nonetheless. :-)

Tulsa is an interesting school. They have gone from nowhere to being a national school of interest, much like Texas Tech. Just like Texas Tech, Tulsa also features the shotgun spread, no huddle, fill the air with footballs offense. Their offensive coordinator is Gus Malzahn, a dude who has become a Jesus like figure amongst high school coaches for his schemes and systems. It won't be long now before Malzahn, who is only in his early 40s, gets hired on by a BCS school to go work his magic as a head coach.