Zen Dayley: Here's a cellular phone, call someone who cares

Brian Tallet in the 10th instead of Jesse Carlson or well-rested B.J. Ryan? These games count in the standings, you know.

• Anyone who wonders why Orlando Cabrera, a superior shortstop, is on his fourth team in five seasons should read this Sunday column in the Chicago Tribune.
  
  Even Cabrera's teammates on the White Sox apparently have little time for his habit of calling the official scorer after being charged with an error. Bob Verdi, the writer, also has a solution:
  
  

  "Most players are also notoriously frugal, so one way to fix this would be to charge them for ringing the press box. As it is, dugout phones are free phones. But ask these millionaires to fork over a quarter, and then watch them try to make collect calls."

  Anyone who's really obsessive about sportswriters will notice that Bob Verdi got a dig in on Jay Mariotti at the end of his column. Mariotti wouldn't be serving as an official scorer, since that might require (a) knowing how to score a baseball game and (b) actually attending the game.
• Everyone saw that Arizona's Brandon Webb pitched a complete game in one hour, 52 minutes? Bud Selig is right. Baseball games are too long.
  
  (There's some nice use of anecdotal evidence.)


• Shaun Marcum still leads the AL in WHIP after giving up 11 hits across seven innings in a no-decision vs. the Angels last night. That's how good Marcum has been.


• Joba Chamberlain starting aginst the Jays on Tuesday, when Sportsnet is airing the game, not Wednesday when it's TSN's turn, proves the existence of some higher power. You can already hear Rod Black pumping out the sap if he was calling a Joba start at Yankee Stadium. "Joba Chamberlain ... a young man of such vast potential ... wearing pinstripes ... in the final season at this historic ballpark ... in the Bronx." Goodness gracious, Jays fans suffer enough indignities already.


• There was major coverage of B.C. high school slugger Brett Lawrie by the Globe and Sun Media on Saturday. One almost hopes Lawrie goes before the Jays pick at 17th overall, just to remove the possibility of the know-nothings slagging the team five years down the road, even though the MLB Draft is a total crapshoot. (Minor League Ball's latest mock first round has the Jays taking Lawrie.)
  
  Lawrie, at 18, does seem like something special. Arizona State's Brett Wallace, at least according to his press clippings, also seems like the total package down around where the Jays are selecting.

That's all for now. Rest assured, something new is in the works for the Zen Dayley, to keep it fresh and well, actually appearing daily. Meantime, for anyone who might be interested, Chuck Klosterman's first novel is due out in three months and the GQ profile on Marston Hefner, Hugh Hefner's remarkably well-adjusted 18-year-old son, is worth a read.

Send your thoughts to neatesager@yahoo.ca.