Wednesday, March 05, 2008


This column from the other day about that refers to A.J. Burnett having "the reputation of being aloof and a loner" explains so, so much about why he's a magnet for the haters.

Burnett's trials and tribulations can all be traced to astrology. Don't laugh. Burnett was born Jan. 3, 1977 (one day before me), which makes him a Capricorn, one of those negative signs who "prefer to draw upon personal resources to achieve their lives' goals and tend to be reserved, cautious and often retiring -- in extreme cases standoffish. They are seen as likely to want and have only a small, but very loyal, group of acquaintances ... They are sometimes termed 'past-oriented' because it is supposed negative signs will focus on the past and be more resistant to change than positive signs."

Cautious, standoffish, resistant to change -- that's what you want in an ace pitcher. Conversely, Roy Halladay, with his Aug. 14 birthday, is a Leo, which is a positive sign that seems to belong to the winningest kind of winners. No wonder the Jays always have bad things happen to them -- the stars aren't in alignment. Plus they're in the AL East.

Likely to want and have only a small, but very loyal, group of acquaintances? Sounds like the kind of guy who spends most of his days writing a blog about sports. Randy Moss (Jan. 13, 1977), a personal hero who's pushed the bile with reactionaries, was born under the same sign.

It all makes sense now. No wonder the three of us have such rotten luck at finding favour, although A.J. and Randy do well enough to swing multiple swankier residences.

A.J. and B.J. are luckless Blue Jays (Jeff Passan, Yahoo! Sports)


Dennis Prouse said...

OK, Neate, let's say it together -- "Astrology is complete hokum". You are way too smart to truly believe in that crap, aren't you? It's really just the sanitized version of tarot cards, Jojo's psychic hotline, etc. (Question -- if psychics are who they say they are, why do they need your credit card number? Wouldn't they just know it already?) It's cute to read and all, but it doesn't mean a thing.

sager said...

Tongue-in-cheek, all tongue-in-cheek.