Wednesday, September 12, 2007


As you were flexing your music nerd muscles...

  • Texas Longhorns QB Colt McCoy will never face the kind of sack attack from rival Oklahoma that a UT fan named Brian Christopher Thomas endured.

    A pair of football nuts -- Thomas and a fan of the rival Sooners named Allen Michael Beckett -- got in an argument when Thomas wore a Texas shirt into a pub in Oklahoma City -- Sooner country -- a few months ago. It apparently jumped up a notch. Thomas wanted to leave, but something -- or someone was holding him.

    Thomas told police that when he decided to leave and went to the bar to pay his tab, Beckett grabbed him in the crotch, pulled him to the ground and wouldn't let go, even as bar patrons tried to break it up. When the two men were separated, Thomas looked down and realized the extent of his injuries.

    "He could see both of his testicles hanging on the outside of his body," said Thomas' attorney, Carl Hughes. "He was wearing a pair of white shorts, which made it that much worse."

    Like poor Mr. Thomas, who ended up needing more than 60 stitches, went, "Oh, crap, of all the days to wear white shorts!" Besides, he couldn't have worn red to hide blood -- that's Oklahoma's colour and it clashes with Texas' burnt-orange.

    Beckett has been charged with aggravated assault and could face up to five years in jail if convicted. That would be one hell of a holding penalty.

    With God as our witness, we will never wish that Canadians could be more like Americans when it comes to loving collegiate sports. Maybe a little more, but not that much.
  • You will get up to watch Canada-Norway at the Women's World Cup.
  • The Hater Nation's take on the Patriots' signal-stealing allegations: "If Bill Belichick was going to cheat on his wife, it only figures that he would be cheating in football games, too."
  • Buffalo Bills footballer Kevin Everett's improved prognosis is "totally spectacular."
  • CFL: Saskatchewan loses No. 1 receiver Matt Dominguez 4-6 weeks due to a knee injury. The real burn is the injury came in the late stages of a blowout loss.
  • Transperency, thy name isn't Ottawa Life: A little late on this but the print edition of Frank magazine took great delight in pointing out what's surely got to be a coincidence. A recent issue of the local rag had the beer baron on the front cover as one of Ottawa's Top 50 people and a full-page, full-colour Steelback ad on the back cover.

    It's stuff like this that explains why Ottawa has such a Hicksville image to the rest of Canada, although that's not say Ottawa Life has any relationship to reality, relevance or readability.

1 comment:

Dennis Prouse said...

Ottawa Life aren't the only offenders on this score. They may be the most flagrant one out there recently, but they are far from alone.

Having worked in the PR business, I can't tell you how many magazines we pitched who came back to us and broadly hinted that we had to buy advertising space in order for them to write a story about our client. Some small town newspapers operated in a similar fashion. (They all publicly deny it, of course.)