LIVE BLOG: GREY CUP RUNNING DIARY

Yes, the Grey Cup is here, and it's pure Canadiana and what-not, so a running diary is demanded.

PRE-GAME

5:30. Just a thought: If this game goes to overtime, will it be CBC's longest-running new show this fall?

5:33. There's Khari Jones on the pre-game panel -- what a wicked burn on all the Manitobans who said the ex-Blue Bombers QB would never get to a Grey Cup in Winnipeg! OK, not really.

5:40. Imagined scene: All across Canada, TV in newspaper sports departments are tured to any number of (probably) boring NFL games, like Arizona Cardinals-Detroit Lions (tied 0-0 after the first quarter). The deskers look up at the TV periodically. Finally someone says, "Well, I guess we better put the Grey Cup on." Someone else cracks, "Hey, who's playing?"

5:45. Quick pit-stop at the corner store (this is the first championship football game I've watched since quitting pop cold turkey last month). Random Senators Guy comes in: "They weren't just good last night, they were better than good."

(Odds Random Senators Guy will call for John Muckler to be fired if the Sens lose tomorrow: 1 to 5.)

5:48. One of two the university-aged young women at the cash is talking about the times she's subjected to sports, and I catch the tailend of the conversation. "NFL, I'm OK with. CFL, not so much."

Same young woman than rings up my purchase incorrectly. This actually happened.

5:50. Pre-game intros. Doesn't Steve Armitage sound like Mean Gene Oklund from the old 1980s WWF?

5:53. When cheerleaders bundled up in tuques and winter coats start looking good, it's time to look for some graduate creating writing program in the U.S. In Hawaii.

5:55. Hey, you figure Als receiver O'Neil Wilson is used to people getting his name backwards?

5:58. Hey, Avon Cobourne and Otis Floyd. This is a lavish TV production, not some athletic competition. Your jawing at each other is disrupting the tight schedule for the pre-game festivities! People don't want to see you up in each other's grille, they want to hear Eva Avila sing!

6:05. Eva Avila is introduced to sing O Canada. Apparently the title of her album, Something Else, translated into French is Something Else. Crazy. Why did they get Gatineau's own Avila to sing the anthem? It's the only way the Ottawa-Gatineau area will ever be represented at the Grey Cup for some time.

FIRST QUARTER

6:10. First Montreal drive goes 2-and-out. As noted in our preview, B.C. can get pressure bringing only four rushers.

6:16. Paul McCallum boots a 34-yard FG to put B.C. up 3-0. Save for one play where he scrambled up the middle for a first down, the Als got about as close to Dave Dickenson as reporters get to certain members of Stephen Harper's cabinet; he went 4-for-5 on the drive, with two completions to Paris Jackson, the receiver whom no one realizes is Canadian.

(If you're American, sub "protesters" for "reporters" and "Dick Cheney" for "Stephen Harper," who's our prime minister, in case you were wondering.)

6:20. Montreal goes 2-and-out again. Hey hey, positive yardage! Damon Duval, their American kicker, gets off a great punt after a second straight high snap. By the way, the wind patterns at Canad Inn Stadiums have changed from in the past. The old Winnipeg Arena used to block the breezes blowing down from the north through the open end of the stadium. Now the arena's been torn down, but temp stands are up -- so it might balance out. (Thanks to Keith Borkowsky for the tip.)

6:29. Dickenson has B.C. moving again when Buck Pierce, apropos of nothing, comes in off the bench. Adriano Belli breaks in for the sack, stemming B.C's momentum. Not only did the Lions have their backup QB in, they also had a backup running back, Ian Smart, in the game. Not a smart move against a blitzing defence. Still, this has the makings of a blowout.

6:30. Dickenson throws a checkdown pass to Ryan Thelwell, getting the Lions back in McCallum field goal range. He's good again, and the Lions lead 6-0. Dickenson has eight completions already, six going to Thelwell and Jackson.

6:33. Back from commercial. Calvillo's sacked by the rookie of the year, Aaron Hunt, loses the ball and Javy Glatt recovers at the Als 25-yard line.

6:35. Well, say this for Montreal: They're hanging in there. B.C. can't move the ball, and McCallum kicks a short field goal to make it 9-0. Yes, I'm a bit bored right now.

6:39. Hey, look, Montreal completed a pass! For almost three yards. They go 2-and-out again to end the first quarter. This about 10 minutes away from being a blowout.

AFTER ONE: B.C. 9, Montreal 0

SECOND QUARTER

6:45. My sweet lord, what homicidal thoughts are running through the minds of the Saskatchewan Roughriders fans scattered across Canada? McCallum, the man who cost them a Grey Cup trip in '04, has done all the scoring and now he just pinned Montreal at their 2-yard line with a coffin-corner punt that could make a special teams coach weep. Montreal finally gets a first down, but ends up punting the ball back to B.C. in good field position.

6:50. OK, so B.C.'s Ian Smart can't pass protect too well, but he makes people who are fast look not fast. After a great catch by Jackson down to Montreal's 25, he takes a pitch from Pierce and zips around the left side, gets a downfield block from left tackle Rob Murphy and zips into the end zone for the game's first touchdown. B.C. 16-Montreal 0.

6:55. There's your moment of Hoser Pathos: Play-by-play man Mark Lee reads a promo for some CBC show, listing off its upcoming guests. Except he pronounces Rachel Weisz's last name Wice instead of the proper Vice. Let's assume some production assistant spelled it wrong on the promo card.

7:01. Floyd and Cobourne meet again -- the Lions linebacker makes a neat one-handed tackle on a punt return.

7:05. More fun with promos. Lee teases some cop drama "where the only rules are... there are no rules!" Hey, just like the CFL's salary cap! (Or, cough, its drug testing policy.)

Oh, Montreal finally got in scoring range, only to have Duval miss a 47-yard field goal try wide left. Montreal's defence is doing well to keep this from being a total slaughter; turn those field goals to touchdowns and it could be 20-0 or 24-0.

7:13. B.C.' s offence, which has slowed somewhat, has to punt. Montreal's getting the ball back with 2:26 till halftime. There's really not a lot going on right now, and if this was two people having a conversation at a party, someone would move in and separate them: "You two are boring the snot out of us."

7:18-ish. Damon Duval kicks a 43-yard field goal for, cutting B.C.'s lead to 16-3 -- and sparing some P.R. intern from having to find out when was the last time there was a Grey Cup shutout. (Answer: 1950. Argos 13, Bombers 0.)

7:26. After an Alouette fakes an injury to get a stoppage in play, Chris Walby commits one of those sentences that the Toronto Star's Chris Zelkovich often tweaks him for: "Teams are getting good at communicating what they want to do on the football play on that particular play."

7:29. How did we make it to the final minute of the first half without a Hockey Night in Canada promo? Next Saturday, it's Boston at Toronto, viewers in Quebec get Philadelphia and Montreal, and in the second game of the doubleheader, it's Vancouver and Colorado. Do you see yourselves in there, Ottawa Senators fans? Do you? Eh?

(Just kidding, Sens fans. You and me, eh... we have an understanding.)

Good friend and colleague Dan Rowe, a quondam Quill & Quire editor who's a graduate student at Syracuse University, e-mails to say he's watching the Grey Cup down in the States:

"I'm sure (the game) is drawing a substantial rating on Central New York's all-sports station, Time-Warner Sports 26. Luckily, the Oswego State Lakers (NCAA Division III hockey -- it's like Junior C, without the fighting) don't have a home game tonight, so the big game isn't on tape delay.

My favourite CBC promo of the night was the one highlighting the big episode of The Rick Mercer Report where our fearless host gets diving tips from Alexander Despatie. Have I mentioned that I don't miss the CBC?"

7:30. Well, this game is sucking and blowing. B.C. has 226 yards net offence, but 135 of that came on the first two drives. They get into field-goal range in the final minute, thanks to no-yards and illegal-contact penalties on the Als, a nice sideline catch by Paris Jackson and a Dickenson scramble. McCallum's good from 30 yards on the final play of the half.

HALFTIME: B.C. 19, Montreal 3

Half-assed halftime analysis: Is Anthony Calvillo watching old tapes of Brett Favre? He's showing some Favrearian mannerisms: Gunning the ball on short passes, short-hopping throws, forgetting about everyone except his favourite receiver (Ben Cahoon, in this case).

Thing is, B.C. should have put this game away by midway through the second quarter, but hasn't. What else would you expect from a team coached by Wally Buono?

7:37. Well, Nelly Furtado's performing, wearing a hat from the Marlo Thomas Collection. It's another sure sign the CFL's gone uptown on us, but at least she's Canadian. Time was, the Grey Cup halftime show was some mid-level hoser rockers wearing parkas and fingerless gloves. For shame.

With the game in The Guess Who's hometown, one has to ponder, who would you rather bone: Nelly Furtado, or Burton Cummings?

Answer: Burton Cummings now... or Burton Cummings, 1974?

(OK, unless you own Billy Madison on DVD, you probably missed the joke.)

THIRD QUARTER

8:10. OK, it's getting more confusing than the Yorkdale mall on Dec. 23. There's Chinese food arriving, Neil Acharya is on the phone to crow about the Lions -- "Lui Passaglia, Paul McCallum -- it's a long line of B.C. kickers who have been Grey Cup MVPs" -- and the Als are threatening to make a game out of it.

(I point out that since this week has been all about the long-denied Dave Dickenson, that he's more likely to win the MVP. A pretty obvious pick if even I realize it.)

Speaking of which, Dickenson is sacked and fumbles, except the refs blow the play dead -- otherwise Montreal's Chip Cox would have returned it for a touchdown. Which would have been timely, seeing as more than a few people are probably thinking of changing channels if this doesn't pick up.

(Quick check on The Simpsons. Oh, Moe the Bartender is a published poet now? Someone put this show out of its misery already.

Note: I saw it later, and it actually wasn't that bad. Tom Wolfe had a cameo.)

After a coach's challenge, Montreal's given possession. Their drive stalls, but Duval punts out-of-bounds inside the B.C. 2-yard line.

8:21. B.C. concedes a safety rather than punt from their own 10-yard line, cutting the lead to 19-5.

8:30. Oh, boy, have we got a game, sort of. Shades of last year, perchance, with a craptacular first half followed by a great second half? Calvillo's settled in, and B.C. seems to be rattled a bit, as the Alouettes march 75 yards for their first TD. Robert Edwards leaps over for a two-yard touchdown run, making it 19-12 with about 2 minutes left in the quarter. This is starting to look like the 2000 Rams-Titans Super Bowl, just a bit.

Someone on the Lions needs to do something to settle their sideline down before Montreal takes over the game. They have no right to after the way their offence looked early on, but hey, it's the CFL, it's not supposed to make sense.

8:37. Dickenson runs for back-to-back first downs, buying the Lions some time and field position as the third quarter ends. Hey, has player of the year Geroy Simon been mentioned at all lately?

AFTER THREE: B.C. 19, Montreal 12

FOURTH QUARTER

8:42. B.C.'s threatening, inside the Montreal 30-yard line after a couple nice runs by Joe Smith. By the way, Mark Lee's apparently trying to emulate Brent Musburger: "Smart, smartly upfield." That's right up there with "A.J. Hawk -- and he is a hawk!"

8:45. McCallum's good on a 21-yard field goal, and B.C. leads 22-12. Man, Neil's MVP pick might be right.

8:50. That's not going to help Montreal's comeback hopes -- a chop-block penalty kills a drive. Duval gets just a net of 27 yards on the punt, and B.C.'s taking over at the Montreal 47-yard line with a chance to ice the win, pardon the pun.

8:55. McCallum kicks a 47-yard field goal, and now has six in the game, tying a record. Hey, look, a B.C. fan is waving a cardboard cutout of Lui Passaglia. Where else but the CFL can you get a life-sized cardboard cutout of a kicker? I love this game.

9:02. Damn, there goes the flickering flame of Montreal's comeback hopes. Calvillo leads a drive down to the 2-yard line. On first down, B.C. stands up Edward, then on second down, the ball is knocked loose from Edwards -- Javy Glatt and Carl Kidd slice through the line. Fumble, and Otis Floyd recovers for the Lions.

Why Montreal didn't challenge the fumble -- Edwards may have been down before he lost the ball -- is beyond anyone. The replays indicate he was down.

Down to three minutes to go. Even a Wally Buono-coached team can't blow a two-touchdown lead in the last three minutes... can it? (Well, no.)

Cahoon, by the way, has nine catches for 119 yards. Can the Outstanding Canadian award go to someone on the losing team? Ah, forget it. McCallum's got a lock on it. Sorry, Saskatchewan.

9:12. Scary thought as Montreal takes over at its own 35 with 1:45 left, trying to mount for a desperate drive after B.C. gives up another safety to make it 25-14. If the Als go 3-and-out here, Paul McCallum might get another shot at a field goal.

9:20. That's it -- Javy Glatt deflects Calvillo's third-down pass, which falls incomplete with 19 seconds left, and B.C. will win the 2006 Grey Cup, 25-14. If that sentence was a little overwhelming, well, so was the game.

TALKING POINTS?

1. Some cynical bastard is going to write this anyways: This game kind of typified the CFL this season -- sporadic offence, not much excitement on special teams. Hey, maybe a 5 p.m. local time kickoff outdoors in Winnipeg in November doesn't make for the most exciting game.
2. Thank god the U of S Huskies are in the Vanier Cup -- Saskatchewan wouldn't've been able to take watching Laval and Ottawa play on their field six days after Paul McCallum gets Outstanding Canadian in the Grey Cup.
3. You could have named B.C.'s entire offensive line co-MVPs.
4. Shout outs to Keith and Neil, who respectively are Lions fans from the Prairies and Eastern Ontario via Carbonear, N.L. It takes all kinds to be a Lions fan.

That's all for now. Send your thoughts to neatesager@yahoo.ca.

(This post was linked by Deadspin on Nov. 20, 2006.)