WEEKLY NFL PICKS

Yes, Out of Left Field is obliged to provide weekly NFL picks that are guaranteed to be no more, or no less accurate than some of the various experts out there. These picks are for recreational use only, so don't come crying to me when you're 64 grand in the hole and they're threatening to take your thumbs.

(All betting lines are from Covers.com as of 2 p.m. Eastern today.)

(UPDATE, Monday 4:45 p.m.: Sure hope no one followed my advice. I suck!)

Tonight, 8:30 p.m.
MIAMI (plus 1) at PITTSBURGH (over/under 34½)
Pick: Miami, 20-10. Dolphins clinch it with a late interception return for a TD.
WINNER: Pittsburgh 28-17.

Sunday, 1 p.m.
BUFFALO (plus 9½) at NEW ENGLAND (o/u 41)
Pick: New England, 28-10. Gonna be a long year, Buffalo.
WINNER: New England 19-17.

NEW ORLEANS (plus 3) at CLEVELAND (o/u 35)
Pick: New Orleans, 23-20. That's two road underdogs so far.
WINNER: New Orleans 19-14.

N.Y. JETS (plus 2½) at TENNESSEE (o/u 36)
Pick: Tennessee, 16-13. Only true diehards will be watching this game.
WINNER: N.Y. Jets 23-16.

DENVER (minus 3½) at ST. LOUIS (o/u 46)
Pick: Denver, 34-21.
WINNER: St. Louis 18-10.

CINCINNATI (minus 2) at KANSAS CITY (o/u 46)
Pick: Kansas City, 34-31.
WINNER: Cincinnati 23-10.

ATLANTA (plus 5) at CAROLINA (o/u 39)
Pick: Carolina 20-17. Atlanta will keep this one close.
WINNER: Atlanta 20-6.

BALTIMORE (plus 3) at TAMPA BAY (o/u 34)
Pick: Tampa Bay, 24-6. With Brian Billick and Jon Gruden coaching, call this the Smug Jerk Bowl.
WINNER: Baltimore 27-0 (not even close).

PHILADELPHIA (minus 5½) at HOUSTON (o/u 38)
Pick: Philadelphia 23-14.
WINNER: Philadephia 24-10.

SEATTLE (minus 6) at DETROIT (o/u 45½)
Pick: Seattle, 31-17. Said it before and will say it again: Given what is to come, an assistant coach getting caught driving drunk and naked will be one of the more dignified events of Detroit's season.
WINNER: Seattle 9-6.

Sunday, 4:15 p.m.
CHICAGO (plus 3½) at GREEN BAY (o/u 35)
Pick: Chicago, 20-3. The Bears score on an interception and a blocked kick return; fans say, "Our offence played great getting us those two field goals."
WINNER: Chicago 26-0.

SAN FRANCISCO (plus 9) at ARIZONA (o/u 42½)
Pick: Arizona, 34-17. Beware the Buzzsaw until they play real teams.
WINNER: The Buzzsaw, 34-27.

DALLAS (plus 2) at JACKSONVILLE (o/u 36½)
Pick: Dallas, 24-7.
WINNER: Jacksonville 24-17.

Sunday nighter
INDIANAPOLIS (minus 3) at N.Y. GIANTS (o/u 48)
Pick: Indianapolis, 28-18.
WINNER: Indianapolis 26-21.

Monday nighters
MINNESOTA (plus 4½) at WASHINGTON (o/u 35)
Pick: Minnesota, 19-17. You all know I'm a Vikings fan, right? (And yes, the good Lord willing, this game will be live-blogged.)
WINNER: Minnesota, 19-16.

SAN DIEGO (minus 3) at OAKLAND (o/u 43)
Pick: Oakland, 24-23. An official What The Hell pick.
WINNER: San Diego, 27-0.

Season to date
Straight up: 8-8
Against the spread: 6-10
Over/Under: 8-8

Related:
Toronto Wants The NFL (Again) (earlier today)
NFL Preview In 30 Minutes, Or It's Free (Wed., Sept. 6)

That's all for now. Send your thoughts to neatesager@yahoo.ca.