SLOTBACK SLOG: THE CALGARY STAMPEDERS

Yes, the Canadian Football League season kicks off on Friday. To ensure that you don't get flagged for a time-count violation (that's Canadian for "delay of game"), Out of Left Field has slapped together -- and I do mean slapped -- some team capsules for upcoming season. As part of its contribution to the fight to end Eastern bias within our lifetime, we're starting on the West Coast and working our way east amid various hilarious highjinks, much like those crazy kids in National Lampoon's Going The Distance. Presenting: The fightin' Calgary Stampeders.

CALGARY STAMPEDERS
2005 record: 11-7, lost West semifinal to Edmonton
Head coach: Tom Higgins
Who looks kind of like: Your Grade 8 gym teacher.
Famous alumni: Doug Flutie, Jeff Garcia
Hey, didn't you used to play for? .... : DE Rahim Abdullah was with the "new" Cleveland Browns during that team's first two seasons.
No, that's really his name: WR Ken-Yon Rambo.
Trivial trivia: Punter Burke Dales is the brother of WNBA player Stacey Dales-Schuman and a cousin of NHLer Jason Arnott.
Guy who's been there forever: G Jay McNeil
Key off-season pickups: WR Scotty Anderson, backup QB Danny McManus (yes, the same Danny McManus who played at Florida State in the '80s)
CanCon: Linebacker/long snapper Marc Mitchell is a former Queen's Golden Gael; O-lineman Taylor Robertson is from Kingston, Ont. Remember, when it comes to pimping for Kingston, Don Cherry has nothing on Out of Left Field.

Every time the Stampeders have planted a seed over the past few years, someone -- usually the Edmonton Eskimos -- says, "Kill it before it grows."

Calgary has known some winning moments through the years, but mostly, the Stamps' role of late has been to exist so stuck-up, spoiled-rotten Edmonton fans can take pot shots. As recently as 2004, the Stampeders were the laughingstock of the league, and considering that league included Ottawa and Hamilton, that's saying something. The nadir may have been last season, when Calgary drafted Miguel Robede first overall in the Canadian college draft and he decided to stay another year at the University of Laval. Granted, leaving Laval might have meant a pay cut.

Well, no more. Calgary's talking a big game these days -- even after getting punked 57-13 by B.C. in a pre-season game. And why not? After four straight years with a losing record, the Stampeders finished in the black last season. Offensively, there's a lot to like. The offensive line is experienced. Henry Burris was the league's third-rated passer in '05 and led the CFL in average yards per attempt -- the most telling indicator of a QB's proficiency. Tailback Joffrey Reynolds is the West's leading returning rusher.

The receivers? The Stampeders return two good ones, Nik Lewis and Jeremaine Copeland, but drove across the Alberta-Saskatchewan border to sign 1,000-yard receiver Elijah Thurmon away from the Roughriders. Throw in former NFLers Anderson and Anthony Bright and a solid Canadian possession receiver in Brett Ralph -- you can't win in the CFL unless you have a Wayne Chrebet-like little white guy who is a solid rowt runner -- and that's the makings of a pretty good passing game.

Defensively, Abdullah and Sheldon Napastuk are the best of an decent D-line, while the Stamps have a French Connection with veteran Randy Chevrier and Robede. Linebacker George White, the league's leading tackler in '05, is beginning the season on the injured list.

Canadian safety Wes Lysack anchors the secondary. Calgary did a passable job of not allowing a lot of points last year (443, third-fewest in the league), but needs to force more turnovers to be successful. Trey Young and Jermaine Chatman are back in a unit which has added speedy rookie J.R. Ruffin and Ottawa Renegades survivor Crance Cremons.

As for their specialists, kicker Sandro DeAngelis was an all-star as a rookie last season; Dales had a 44-yard average in his rookie season. David Allen, who caused a bit of a kerfuffle when he bolted in mid-season last year to go to the NFL, is back. Here's a name to keep an eye on: Rookie RoShawn Marshall, who is beginning the season on the practice squad, had four punt-return touchdowns as a college senior last season.

Bottom line: It's hard to think of the Stampeders as a serious contender after all that's gone down, lo, these past few seasons. However, strange stuff happens in the CFL every season. Let's just say by November, it's more than likely Calgary will be a team no one wants to meet in the playoffs, regardless of who has home field.

(Previous capsule: The B.C. Lions.)