LATE NIGHT, LISTENING TO APRIL WINE

Would you like a beer? How about some ether? By the way, I'm 29, the same age as Taylor Hicks, so should I just try to move into a seniors' manor right now?

• So it's back to Anaheim for Game 5 after the Ducks won 6-3 last night at Rexall Place. It's just as well. It was rainy and 12C in Edmonton, which would have made it too unseasonable for breast-baring celebrations on Whyte Ave. This game also brought out a side in the media that's also annoying: one of the post-game sidebars revolved around Dwayne Roloson having allowed nine goals in the last four periods. However, it ends up being a nothing story since NHL players are way too good at spin control to say anything other than variations on Georges Laraque's comment, which was, "We left Rolie out to dry."
• What was up with the ensemble Don Cherry sported on Hockey Night in Canada last night? As one of the wags in the Ottawa Sun newsroom cracked, "There goes one of the survivors of the St. Valentine's Day massacre."
• Jays-Chisox outlook: The Chicagoans get off lucky, since they'll miss Roy (Cy Young) Halladay. The Jays probably need to get a split out of these six games against the White Sox and Red Sox, just to show they're serious. Tonight: Outlook not so good ... Ted Lilly has been knocked out early in his past two starts, while Freddy Garcia hasn't lost since the first week. Presumably the Jays know the Chisox righty is actually tougher on left-handed batters (612 OPS) than righties (719 OPS), and make out the lineup accordingly. Saturday: Can Casey Janssen outpitch Jose Contreras, who's a practically Halladayesque 5-0 with a 1.90 ERA? There's a chance. There's always a chance ... Sunday: Jon Garland's home/road and lefty/righty splits play into the Jays favour, so here's an optimistic prediction than Ty Taubenheim will get his first big-league win.
• The latest Rob Neyer book excerpt truly captures how dumb the Red Sox were to trade Jeff Bagwell for Larry Andersen back in 1990.
• Winnipeg Blue Bombers coach Doug Berry told the Winnipeg Sun the other day that rookie linebacker Adrian Baird "just continues to blossom like a flower." This is just further proof Canadian football is innately superior to the U.S. game -- no NFL coach would be secure enough in his manliness to use that analogy.
• Not to blame the victim here, but what kind of idiot puts a Tramp-A-Ma-Line next to a basketball hoops? You have to see this. It's the equivalent of getting the beans above the frank. (From Insomniacs Lounge via Deadspin.)
• Career advice for journalistic aspirants: don't write an anonymous letter slagging your paper's Pulitizer Prize entry. Granted, the Toledo Blade hack who did just that had his reasons -- he believed the politically sensitive story the paper entered was held over until after the 2004 U.S. elections -- but he needn't have bothered, because 1) The paper won a Pulitzer the year before, which meant a repeat was unlikely; 2) The entry was in the same category as two Gulf Coast papers' Hurricane Katrina coverage, which had to be an obvious shoo-in and 3) As any newspaper hack knows, unless there's cash involved, journalism awards are two travesties of a mockery of a sham. That is, until you actually win one.

That's all for now. Stay classy.