Monday, March 23, 2009

International court to hear case of 'Rubber vs. Glue'

Please avoid the folly of taking unserious people seriously.

That story you heard about the four goofs on Fox News -- each one of whom is about as funny as a instructional video on how to clean a clarinet -- mocking the Canadian Forces, should be water off a duck's back. Sure, it's infuriating on some level, but you should take comfort knowing that, whatever Americans say about our military, at least our banks aren't a joke.

(Incidentally, think it's really host Greg Gutfeld on Twitter? "My apologies to the Canadian military, they probably could at least beat the Belgians."

Anyway, Doug Benson, the goof who says, "I didn't even know they were in the war ... I thought that was where you went if you didn't want to fight," is due to perform in Edmonton next week, April 2-5, according to his MySpace page (over age 16, and he has a MySpace page?). Thankfully for him, there are no military personnel based near Edmonton.

It seems best to invoke the Haisuk rule, even speaking as the grandson of a World War II veteran. Don't get riled up and run the risk of legitimizing some twitbag without working the Google on the Internet machine for 10-15 minutes and finding out where they're coming from.

The one twit, Bill Schulz, going by his MySpace, thinks it's the height of hilarity to list his occupation as "registered sex offender." He would probably say, "where's your sense of humour?", the usual reflex of promoters of self (et tu, Sagert?) who bring little to the table beyond a boundless ego. However, if that's what you think is funny and cheeky, where is your sense of humour, sir?

Point being, Schulz and the host, Greg Gutfeld, are former editors at Stuff and Maxim magazines. (One wonders how that can be justified when Fox News is so closely allied with the Republican Party and its family-values agenda, but bear in mind, some people are conservative just because they want taxes cut, criminals brutalized, and be ruled like a king by someone who is part Santa Claus, part Genghis Khan.)

That's not meant to dismiss people's opinions out of hand based on where they work, since regular readers know where I work.

However, you should take solace in knowing there is no virtue in being the idiot with the shrillest opinion in the room, even if in weak moments, you wonder that the real dopes are the ones who bother trying to have the most considered opinions. That's how you end up with that walking advertisement for Queen's University, Ashleigh Banfield, getting paid, and paid well, to advance the numbbrained argument that teenagers should be charged with felonies for sending lurid text messages ("sexting," as it's known in the buzzword-obsessed media). Well done, Ms. Banfield. You're aware, no doubt, that efforts to legislate moral behaviour have almost never worked in North America.

Ultimately, the beauty of this age is there are so entertainment options that you can safely ignore the ones who nothing to contribute. That would seems to apply to those who appear on Fox News at 3 in the morning, when God knows who's watching (since the stoners who are usually up at that hour are probably all in jail, thanks to the War on Drugs).

The only nauseating aspect is seeng that Americans have this notion of Canada as a bunch of namby-pambies. That might speaks to how we teach high school history in this country. People come though our education system not knowing what we've done in wars and thinking all we've ever done is play peacekeeper.

For anyone from the States reading this, it is cold, hard fact that Canada entered both world wars before the U.S. and suffered more casualties on a per-capita basis. We didn't join in Vietnam or the Iraq conquest because those countries were no threat to us or you for that matter (several Canadians, as individuals, fought in Vietnam). To Canadians, remember, water off a duck's back.

The universe tends to unfold exactly as it should. This too shall pass and in time, hopefully so will Fox News' chances at relevance. Meantime, do what you will with Greg Gutfeld's Wiki.


Anonymous said...

I'd love to wipe that shit-eating grin off Gutfeld's face.

Anonymous said...

Thank you, this is a remarkably considered response; all I could muster was a string of expletives.

Dennis Prouse said...

Ignorant and offensive as it was, let's keep in mind that the show was on at 3 am, and is in that time slot for a reason. Rick Springfield probably gets better ratings hawking bad 80s CDs on his infomercial. Just as your parents said that nothing good ever happens after midnight, I think it's a pretty fair statement to say that no serious journalism ever occurs at 3 am either.

I found myself wondering if this is how Americans feel when they are at the receiving end of an ignorant, bile-filled anti-American rant, the likes of which many Canadians toss out regularly. By all means, criticize American foreign policy when need be, but show some restraint when doing so, lest you end up sounding like those fools.

sager said...

I'm not really offended by it, at all (and I did say show is on at 3 a.m.?). These goofs are barely worth the time the major media in Canada seem to be giving it, that was the point.

Americans know little about Canada and many Canadians know even less. We leave ourselves vulnerable; I've said it before and I'll say it again, you have people who come through the Canadian school system thinking Vimy Ridge is a wine. We have to blame ourselves a wee bit when someone such as Greg Gutfeld, who needed 6 years to finish college, starts making jokes about our military.

You are right, we should not sink to that level. However, sometimes you have to exercise your Charter rights to point out a bunch of goofs when you see them.

As for anything about U.S. foreign policy, I'll leave that alone.

Dennis Prouse said...

I finished my undergrad in four years, largely under threat of death from my mother. :-) Had I done the five or six year plan, I would still be hearing about it.

It actually gets less offensive the second time you watch it. I just think it was the timing that was so horrible. Here we were, bringing home yet another four slain Canadian soldiers, and we have to get trash talked by THESE idiots? If this was ten years ago, it might be slightly different, but Canada is more than pulling its weight internationally right now, as those families can tell you first hand.

Oh, and am I the only guy who finds it amusing that the dude would rather degrade his own show as opposed to issuing a real apology?

Mike Radoslav said...

Just to note the Edmonton club canned his show as a result of this. It's kind of insulting due to the timing of it (what with 4 fallen soldiers coming home at the same time) however agreed, these guys aren't worth the effort. However we do all pay attention when the US send comments our way though.

But let's be honest here, picking on Fox News for saying something stupid is even easier than shooting fish in a barrell...

Ottawa Sports Guy said...

Best piece I've read on this subject. Pretty much sums the way I feel about it.