Snark break ...

Starting today, we try to inject some substance into this feature ... hey, where's everyone going? Substance!

Does everyone realize that the UFC's parent company, Zuffa LLC, is in deep water financially with its casinos? Mixed martial arts is here to stay, God love it, let's hope it's in Ontario soon, but as TheSavageScience points out, it's bound to hurt UFC when Station Casinos (just do a Google News search) is chin-deep in debt. Meantime, fight fans are ticked that MMA axes good fighters for flavours of the month.

Brian Burke travelled out to L.A. to see the Leafs play the Kings last night. The Toronto media would have you believe he flew without a plane.

Seriously, why not just give Burke the reins of the Canadian government in Ottawa while he's at it? Red Kelly played for the Leafs and was a member of Parliament at the same time in the 1960s.

Two words for anyone following the situation with the New York Giants wide receiver Plaxico Burress after his weapons charge: Ray Lewis. This is a Vicking. The Giants' best linebacker, Antonio Pierce, is getting the kid glove treatment for his role in the Darwin Award-worthy discharging of a pistol.

From National Lampoon's Sports Minute (which you can follow on Twitter): "Notre Dame has not yet decided what to do with Charlie Weis. But they did ask him to go party with Plaxico Burress."

The above was worth nothing, but this is worth noting

• USC Trojans coach Pete Carroll is going to give up one timeout per half so Souther Cal can have wear their red uniforms on Saturday against UCLA, instead of road team white.
• Atlanta baseball writer David O'Brien believes A.J. Burnett will sign with the Atlanta Braves:

  "... they have a much better shot at landing Burnett than Lowe, and partly because they want a power arm who can dominate opponents to be the guy at the top of a rotation that includes budding stalwart Jair Jurrjens and, well, fill in the blanks.

  O'Brien is a big Warren Zevon fan, so that makes anything he says credible.
• The first all-blues station in Canada, DAWG FM in Ottawa, is in a pinch. Rob over at Salt Water Music explains how you can help. (Crying the blues over the Senators or Leafs does not count.)