Snark break ...

As you were developing that vaccine for weirdness ...

Don Matthews resigned Friday as Argos coach, but really, he quit seven weeks ago.

The Detroit Lions won't start rookie QB Drew Stanton because they don't want to "embarrass" him if he's not ready. Since when have the Lions ever worried about embarrassment?

A woman in Ontario was charged with driving a Zamboni while drunk. It's good to know Oksana Baiul finally found work!

The Daniel Alfredsson signing makes sense when you consider that the Seattle Sounders signed Freddie Ljungberg. Sens owner Eugene Melynk must figure the MLS is impressed when you overpay for a 30-something Swede.

The L.A. Kings' Dustin Brown will donate $50 from every bodycheck he makes to a non-profit organization. Jason Spezza should have the same deal for every time he makes a blind pass.

Now that Studs Terkel has left this vale of tears, does that make the Philadelphia Phillies' Jamie Moyer the world's oldest living lefty?

(Studs Terkel was awesome. As one critic put it, he understood "what people need -- more than sex, almost as much as food -- and what they perhaps will never find, is a sympathetic ear.")

This above is worth nothing, but this is worth noting

• It's reached the point where someone could have blog just dedicated to some of the stops U.S.-based NHL teams are pulling out to draw fans. For tonight's game vs. the Senators, the Tampa Bay Lightning, as Puck Daddy notes, are offering 50% off to anyone who wears Tampa Bay Rays gear, free admission to anyone who travels to the game on a bike and a $20 lower bowl ticket for someone who brings a phone book to recycle.
• Scott Niedermayer is eyeing playing in the 2010 Olympics.
• Another Canadian who will playing D-1 football in the States: Benjamin D’Aguiliar, a defensive end from Hamilton, has committed to Arkansas.