Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Snark break ...

As you were getting ready for the big derby between the Manchester I Don't Give a Craps and the London Not A Real Sports.*

David Shoalts is reporting that the NHL would give Jim Balsillie an expansion team in Toronto. Richard Peddie is quoted the Leafs board would do what's best for hockey, which raises the question of which tropical island they all plan to move to.

(If the team can be called the Toronto Toros, even better.)

You know how guys who work in construction get the winter months off? It's looking like that will be the case for Barry Melrose (you're surprised, why?).

A fan in full Vikings regalia congratulating Randy Moss for a scoring a touchdown for the New England Patriots ... it makes Brad Childress' coaching seem almost tolerable.

More great headlines that can never be written: "Anaheim Dick takes on Toronto."

One benefit to the National League refusing to play by modern baseball rules ... getting a kick from reading that Padres ace Jake Peavy, who is going to be traded, doesn't want to switch leagues because "he is a pretty good hitter, and he views that as an advantage."

Peavy's career average is .243. Not batting average -- slugging average. Leave the hitting to the professionals, Jake.

Mike Singletary, the newly installed 49ers coach, will probably be asking LensCrafters to make him a set of blinders after he sees J.T. Sullivan's efforts.

Last but not least, Minka Kelly has the sickly taint of the Jeter.

(For the future of humanity, Ms. Kelly ... as one of North America's sexiest southpaws, you should be dating David Price. Two left-handed parents have a 4-in-10 chance of southpaw offspring.)

Twenty people died for this joke ... and it's not even that good. A man writes a letter to Health Canada, "A while ago, the Stanley Cup came to my town and I kissed it ... I just want to know if this means there's any chance I could get listeriosis?" ... "No, the Cup has not come in contact with any Maple Leaf products since 1967."

You're all sick, you know that?

This post is worth nothing, this is worth noting:
  • Our man at the Merc, Greg Layson, is reporting he has it on "very good authority" that Mike Morencie is out as head football coach of the Windsor Lancers. Whether it is university football or major junior hockey, it's about the wins and losses — well, except with the Kingston Frontenacs.


Jordie Dwyer said...

A couple of things...

That commercial is SOOOOOO 80s.

The Leafs are MORE offensive (and that's not on the ice) than that joke.

And the next coach that could be leaving the CIS is Jerry Friesen...but not because the U of A wants him to go.

Dennis Prouse said...

Is that really true about left handed parents? I am left handed, as is my wife, and we went one for two -- my daughter is a lefty, while my poor right handed son is the one who has to move the computer mouse. Still, I was always told that handedness is purely random, and that there was no genetic angle to it.

Re: The Lightning - what a Gong Show. Melrose is a horrid coach, but Toe Blake and Scotty Bowman combined couldn't save that train wreck. Stevie Wonder could have seen this coming after their brutal summer of signing overpriced, over the hill free agents, all while ignoring their goaltending and trading away their only top shelf defenceman to clear cap room. Honestly, they may not win ten games all year.