TODAY, TSN STANDS FOR "TOTALLY SCANDALIZED... NOT!"

So it turns out the tentacles of the Mitchell Report reach all the way to Ottawa and former Lynx slugger Jack Cust (pictured), who had a breakout year with the Oakland A's this past season:

"At the beginning of the 2003 season, Cust and Larry Bigbie were both playing for Baltimore's Class AAA affiliate in Ottawa. Bigbie's locker was next to Cust. Cust eventually asked Bigbie if he had ever tried steroids. Bigbie acknowledged that he had, and Cust said that he, too, had tried steroids. Cust told Bigbie that he had a source who could procure anything he wanted, but Bigbie informed him he already had a friend who could supply him.

"In order to provide Cust with information about these allegations and to give him an opportunity to respond, I asked him to meet with me; he declined."

Quoth The Tao of Stieb in a comment on the Gregg Zaun post, "We'd like to state for the record that we always knew that Lynx Stadium was a cesspool of corruption and malfeasance."

Whoop-dee-effing-do. Two guys in a locker room confessed to each other they used 'roids. Wow, that's a regular Watergate.

Oh, and Howie Clark, who had a couple cups of coffee for the Jays and played for the Lynx in 2006, is mentioned.

"According to Radomski, Clark was introduced to him by Larry Bigbie. Radomski said that Clark called him several times before buying anything. Radomski recalled that Clark had done his own research about human growth hormone and had decided to use it. Radomski said that he made four or five sales of human growth hormone to Clark and that Clark paid him by money order or check.

"Radomski produced two money orders received from Clark. They are dated April 7 and May 19, 2005 and totalled $1,200 ... Radomski stated these two money orders constitued payment for one kit of human growth hormone.

"In order to provide Clark with information about these allegations and to give him an opportunity to respond, I asked him to meet with me; he declined."

Howie Clark, wow. You're talking about a career minor leaguer, a quadruple-A guy who made so little playing in the minors that he had to pay for his HGH in installments. Look, there should be genuine empathy for a player who apparently wouldn't use and ended up being marooned in the minors, like the Lynx first baseman this past season, Gary Burnham, but that's where it ends.

Last thing on this: All those "role model," or "how am I supposed to explain this to my kid?" and "let's make an example of these guys" arguments need to be retired. It's sports. It's commerce, entertainment and human striving, not a beacon of moral virtue. Samuel Taylor Coleridge was stoned out of his gourd all the time, but they didn't put an asterisk on Kubla Khan.

This is coming from a man who will probably never have a family and children, fair enough, but we should find our examples in the bathroom mirror each morning, not at the ballpark.