Monday, October 15, 2007

Why We Love (NCAA Styles): Boston College Eagles

I came to an important conclusion this morning, en route to the subway: Brad Paisley's "She's Everything" is essentially the same exact song as Bow Wow's "Shortie Like Mine," from a thematic perspective.

Now, an equally important part of our recapping-another-weekend-that-will-serve-as-Armageddon-to-the-BCS nightly Internet (non-porn!) perusal: Why We Love, with the Boston College Eagles.

- Love 'em because Eagles soar majestically, unlike other animals ranked ahead of them such as "Bulls," who gore people, and "Buckeyes," who - does anyone know what Buckeyes do?

- Love 'em because their quarterback is named Matt Ryan. If your name is Matt Ryan, you have exactly three possible outcomes in life: (a) Best Boy/Key Grip on Good Will Hunting; (b) altar boy at the centerpiece of an investigative "illicit touching" scandal; (c) quarterback for either BC or ND. Matt done himself good.

- Love 'em because that same Matt Ryan has a brother who, thanks to a car crash that Matt was also in, can't play football anymore - and many think the other brother would have been the better QB. Catholic. Guilt. Unbelievable sidebar BCS storyline.

- Love 'em because they avoided the sweet sledgehammer arc of history. In a weekend of trap games - Kentucky over LSU, Oregon State over Cal, even Louisville over Cincy - BC had a few chances to fall to the fresh-off-their-first-victory ND squad, but they persevered for what would seem to be an easy victory. Remember: 14 years ago, BC marched into South Bend and knocked the teeth out of a team that had just beaten FSU to become No. 1. Sports nostalgia has a way of biting people in the ass like a pre-teen Marv Albert, but BC (and USF) avoided the pitfalls.

- Love 'em because they have an offensive tackle named Gosder Cherilus (I'd love to be a fly on the wall in that frat house), a kid named Billy Flutie from Natick, MA ("He's got a man down there!" yet no relation), three players whose last name begin with "Mc," and because preseason All-ACC Second Team LB Brian Toal's roster photo makes him look like he got left at the Goodfellas - or at least the Things to do in Denver when you're Dead - auditions.

- Love 'em because head coach Jeff Jagodzinski might be one of the only people in America right now who left Green Bay, Wisconsin after last season and is in a BETTER situation because of it.

- Love 'em because Steve Logan, who most recently was logging time working for the Rhein Fire and Berlin Thunder of NFL Europe, is calling the plays in (in fairness, we are talking about a guy who was a pretty successful head man at East Carolina from 1992 to 2002, not the former Cincy Bearcats guard under the twilight years of Huggs).

- Love 'em because Chestnut Hill is a hell of a place to live and play, and the BC undergrads don't drop the BC Bomb (likely because that would be an awkward reference to birth control) like the crosstown kids are known to with their school.

- Love 'em because, in a sports town that already has so much, at least sometimes they have to battle and scrap for it, the way Bostonians are supposed to do it. Far from decimating the NFC's best team behind a career performance from a matinee idol quarterback who left his pregnant girlfriend to shack with a girl who was once voted to have "the best (posterior) in the world," the Eagles will actually get down and dirty to win some of these upcoming battles: @ Virginia Tech, @ Clemson, and @ Maryland (not to mention home dates with FSU and Miami, the latter of which ends a season that you know Randy Shannon wants to conclude with a big statement).

- Love 'em because they have one of the best bands in America. Isn't what a sport of pagentary is mostly about anyway?

- Love 'em because these kids probably hit every home game. White people have no shame anymore. Superman that hoe, indeed.

No comments: