RED SOX-JAYS: BASEBALL THERAPY...

Thursday -- Red Sox 8, Jays 0: It's hard to even find a diversion.

When it gets like this -- 7-0 after three innings with Roy Halladay starting; it's like they're trying to get John Gibbons fired, although there's legitimate concern Doc might be hurt -- there's an impulse to search for a solace which is baseball-related. While the Jays were getting curb-stomped, we were periodically checking minor-league scores. at minorleaguebaseball.com. For a couple hours in the middle of this warm May night, one of the site's front page stories was that Jesse Litsch (pictured) and the Jays' Double-A team in New Hampshire had a no-hitter going down in Bowie, Md., vs. the Baysox, Baltimore's farm club.

A no-hitter is still a no-hitter. Who cares if it's the minors and the 22-year-old Litsch is not a lights-out, can't-miss prospect? (He's about the seventh-best prospect in the Jays chain.)

Litsch left the game with the no-hitter intact after seven innings and an even 100 pitches (he walked one and made an error on a bunt). Six outs to go. Relievers Jesse Carlton and Tracy Thorpe got through the eighth. Three outs to go. Maybe, just maybe.

A few minutes later, another quick, hope-against-hope refresh of the page, and damn -- Bowie's Oscar Salazar had broken up the no-hitter with two out in the ninth inning. So it goes. How many times did that happen to Dave Stieb back in the day?

It's no sign of character to be a mope when a favourite team is losing. Life is too short, but only a couple wins are going to do it. Take earlier yesterday. The Yankees got thumped 14-2 by Texas, which is normally cause for great schadenfreude. The first clip on the 6:30 Sportscentre recap was Derek Jeter getting jammed by the second-base ump, who called him out on a steal attempt when he looked like The Captain might have been safe. Second clip: Bobby Abreu lost his bearings on an everyday deep fly ball to right -- in his home park no less -- turning an out into an extra-base hit. Third clip: The Yankees screwed up a rundown between third and home plate and Texas' Gerald Laird, who's a freakin' catcher, outrunned Alex Rodriguez to home, with his shoe hitting A-Rod right in his pretty face, literally to boot.

Last clip: Miguel Cairo, subbing in left field -- which is hilarious enough -- loses a fly ball, which bounces over the fence for an automatic double. It was like the elitist Yankees had been replaced by the Hackensack Bulls and no, nothing. Not right now.

Hey, look on the bright side. When Troy Glaus was picked off first base with the bases loaded and one out in the first inning last night, it meant the Jays managed to stay out of the double play.

DOC TOO: A couple of commenters at The Tao of Stieb wondered if there might be a medical reason for Halladay getting jocked two starts in a row, which almost never happens. The temptation is to believe that Doc is just having sympathy pains since everyone else on the team is on the disabled list. If he is hurt, then that last joke was in poor taste, instead of being just poor.

GIBBONS WATCH: Economics is going to force Paul Godfrey's hand. A crowd of 21,784 for Wednesday's game vs. the Red Sox with Dice-K starting?

With the exception of Toronto FC, the Jays have the GTA to themselves and can't get 25,000 people out for a rival team with fans who travel everywhere. The lords of baseball already put the screws to the Jays with these midweek series vs. the Evil Empires, but that attendance figure is sad. If it takes jettisoning John Gibbons to convince some people to turn out in what's fast becoming a lost season, then why hesitate? It's obvious a shakeup has to come, and Gibbons will land on his feet. He's in the baseball social club, so someone will give him a job.

It's the way the Jays are just somnabulating through at-bats and defensive innings -- that's a pretentious word for lollygagging -- which is really galling to a fan. Eventually, players will buy in when they believe they can win, and right now, not enough players are conveying that they care. That's on Gibbons.

The Jays are better than this, but like Tony Gwynn said one season when the Padres were going bullflop, winning just 12 of their first 54 games (imagine that), "We know we're better than this, but we just can't prove it." Eventually the Jays get good pitching, the hitting will be there and the wins will come. Teams win and then pull together, not the other away around.

Wednesday -- Red Sox 9, Jays 3: Hey, at least Toronto has defeated one thing -- any attempt at serious analysis.

There's no hair-splitting, no what-might-have-been, just grasping for tiny straws -- like Alex Rios going 4-for-4 out of the leadoff spot (yet failing to score a run) and Lyle Overbay hitting two homers (both with no one on base). The players are clearly frustrated and ready to snap. Vernon Wells twice did the bat-over-his-head routine after popping up, and did you see Scott Downs' reaction after serving up that home run to ManRam?

Tuesday, Red Sox 9, Jays 2: Josh Beckett, who had an easy time running his record to 7-0, does bear a vague resemblance to Eddie Izzard (right photo). Age Beckett a few years, put some eyeliner on him, and bam.

No analysis need be done here. There isn't a major-league team playing worse these days. Don't bring up the Washington Nationals -- we said major-league teams.

(UPDATE: Yes, Gibby is kind of like Boomhauer from King of the Hill. Good call. Via Deadspin.)

Well, that didn't happen. The ironically named Victor Zambrano happened (he's on the disabled list), and it was another long night. Again, these days, saying the Jays are due is liking say the Washington Generals are due, or that Charlie Brown is due to kick the damn football.

At least Wells is showing a sense of humour, which is almost the sole proof there's some life in the Jays.

(* Hat tip to anyone who gets the reference.)

That's all for now. Send your thoughts to neatesager@yahoo.ca.