JAYS-RANGERS: GOING BANANAS; TIME TO JETTISON J.G.?

Sunday -- Rangers 3, Jays 2: It would come as no shock if J.P. Ricciardi gassed manager John Gibbons on Monday.

Ricciardi needs to cover himself. The Red Sox are in town and the Jays need something to light a fire under a drab and futile team, so why not pull the pin? What's to lose? The Jays are failing already.

Of course, as the Western (Canada) philosopher Don MacGillivray once reflected, "Things are never as good as they seem when they're going good, and they're never as bad as they seem when they're going bad." Those seems like words to go by over the Long Season, so despite the Jays' historically bad road trip and their making Kameron Loe look like a competent American League starting pitcher, there are positives.

A.J. Burnett pitched well enough against a good lineup. Like Roy Halladay, there's times when he will throw strikes that get hit somewhere uncatchable, and the Rangers hit three solo homers. Like we said in the preview: "A couple fastballs left up in the zone against Mark Teixeira or Michael Young could equal a long day." Both of those Rangers homered.

Troy Glaus, meantime, has a .896 slugging average (11-for-29 with seven extra-base hits) in his first eight games since coming off the DL. There's the rub — only two guys are going for the Jays these days, three if you count Adam Lind, and 3 1/2 if you add Sal Fasano.

Meantime, it might be time to go shopping online for some Brewers gear.

Saturday -- Rangers 11, Jays 4: So much for taking comfort having Roy Halladay throwing, much like George Bluth Sr. took comfort in knowing there was always money in the banana stand. Josh Towers was actually more effective than Doc -- enough said.

The Jays' season seems headed for the same fate as the Bluth family's original banana stand -- which Michael and George Michael ended up burning down in a misunderstanding over semantics. (Don't ask.) What else would you expect with five regulars out of the lineup and Vernon Wells under the weather?

Incidentally, if you're going to ream Gibbons out, check out how the rotations are set up for the Red Sox series at The Cable Box next week: According to ESPN.com's pitching probables, Dustin McGowan, Victor Zambrano and Tomo Ohka (Friday's losing pitcher) are set to start vs. Josh Beckett, Dice-K and Tim Wakefield, the bad man with the knuckleball.

Words of wisdom regarding Gibbons from the invaluable The Tao of Stieb: "We love Gibby and value the job that he did through some tough times, but we have the feeling that he is a better manager for a group of lovable losers, than a team with playoff expectations."

Friday -- Rangers 7, Jays 1: Hey, it's not like the Rangers were throwing a guy who entered with a near-double-digit ERA (Brandon McCarthy). Oh, wait.

That's all for now. Send your thoughts to neatesager@yahoo.ca.