NFL PLAYOFFS: THE DAY MARTY BLEW IT

Sportanic eruptions emanating from a NFL playoff weekend:

• Chargers coach Marty Schottenheimer (pictured) has probably never heard of Bill James, let alone read Bill James, but it so happens today's betweens-plays, during commericals light reading was Scott Gray's The Mind of Bill James, and there's a passage from something James wrote in the late '80s:
  
  "... the entire intellectual lives of many sportswriters is spent looking is a search for master switches... this is another way of explaining why I stopped writing the Baseball Abstract. After ten years, I realized the impossibility of trying to advance complex ideas in a world that only wanted to know where the switch was."
  
  Now, what in the hell does that have to do with Marty Schottenheimer? Simple. After the arguably more talented Chargers blew an eight-point fourth-quarter lead and lost 24-21 to Tom Brady and Nouvelle-Angleterre, all you're going to hear for the next couple days is Martyball this and Martyball that. There's 100 reasons why San Diego lost -- mostly to do with blocking and tackling, and a defensive back fumbling the ball away after an interception. It wasn't close-to-the-vest coaching.

• According to Deadspin commenters, when the Seahawks-Bears NFC game was tied 24-24, Joe Buck (right) threw in a plug for the season premiere of 24. It's one thing to read a promo card since that pays the bills. It's another to be such a corporate cipher that you plug your network's shitty shows and think that's a perfectly acceptable part of standard game commentary. What's next? "Devin Hester is hitting high gear faster than the new Toyota Prius." ... "Rex Grossman is as smooth as an ice-cold Budweiser."
  
  As penance, Joe Buck should have to fight a steel cage match against Naomi Klein (bottom photo). Let's even allow him to carry in a bat -- Derek Jeter model, of course -- since the No Logo author probably has a decided edge in feistiness.
• Kissing Suzy Kolber tells us how they really feel about another Brady-Peyton Manning showdown: "Can't I just have a nice NFL postseason without you two douchebags? You two are like a breath of stale air. GO THE F--- AWAY."
• ESPN.com's Gene Wojciechowski pretty much sums up the Chicago Bears: "Quarterback Rex Grossman watches his team eke out an overtime win against a Seattle Seahawks team with a loan officer in its secondary, and he says, 'Our whole team just played great.' " Lighten up, Wojo. Yes, the Bears are spectacularly average and came close to being upset in the divisional round for the third time in six years, but who are we to take away their fans' joy?

That's all for now. Send your thoughts to neatesager@yahoo.ca.