WHERE'D THE YEAR GO... MARCH

As 2006 draws to a close, we are reminded of a few of the events that brought us closer to you: Dick Cheney shooting a guy in the face, premium ice cream price wars, dogs that were mistakenly issued major credit cards, and others who weren't so lucky ... In our continuing quest to secure a lower rung on the inferno, Out of Left Field looks back at the wild 'n' nutty month of March.

Canada beat the U.S. at the World Baseball Classic, but their timing was lousy: It happened on the eve of the NHL trade deadline, so therefore it wasn't news in the eyes of any of the Canadian sports networks. Well, the Montreal Canadiens did trade a sixth-round draft pick for Todd Simpson the next day. That is pretty earth-shattering, wouldn't you agree?

Ottawa Senators GM John Muckler decides not to trade for a goalie to replace Dominik Hasek, but does add forward and career underachiever Tyler Arnason. This will totally work out.

As a fallback, Ottawa does have one championship team -- coach Dave Smart's Carleton Ravens won their fourth straight CIS men's basketball title.

Daunte Culpepper, on his way to Miami. No party boats there.

Life's just better the day after Duke gets knocked out of the NCAA Tournament.

Ben Johnson bobs up, Rasputin-like, to plug an energy drink. Thankfully, we would never hear from this Frank D'Angelo character again, especially in Ottawa. Oh, wait...

Why was NHL official Dave Jackson sticking up for a convicted lobbyist Jack Abramoff?

George Mason upset UConn to reach the Final Four and redeemed what at times was a pretty poorly played NCAA men's basketball tournament. As Deadspin put it, "Jim Calhoun should have taken the energy he expended complaining about where his team had to play, and used it to teach them how to set a screen."

That's all for now. Send your thoughts to neatesager@yahoo.ca.